Dealing with "date night"....

Haha, yeah, it is. And we're now in the process of getting a divorce, so this ship seems to have sailed.

That is too bad ... well good luck to you.

Go shopping for you instead! I was being so nice and saying her! Lol. :)

Well today I had my first pedicure!! We had a fun day hanging out together all day. We went to the gym and just walked the track for about a mile. Me rehabbing my replaced hip, her trying to build some stamina for our upcoming trip to DC. Then we did a little shopping, grabbed some coffee and got pedicures together.

So much more interesting and fun to me than going out to dinner at this point. I think she really enjoyed it too.

To the the last poster, we actually go to the theater on a somewhat regular basis. Something we've always enjoyed and this year I suggested rather than going once or twice that we select a number of shows to attend in order to have more varied activities! Given the productions are downtown (about an hour away), it still often involved a meal out; however at least it's not the focal point of the evening.

Picnics can be a good compromise to allow the stay at home spouse to escape the house, but not tangle with restaurant eating. I'm not sure of the weather were you are, but if it's super hot, breakfast picnics can be a fun way to start a day :)

I have hopeful news for you, I think. First, you are still in your first year, and the hyper-viligence you have now will, with time, develop into an educated-I can do this mindset. I do not recommend eating out often until you have your maintainance game plan in place and know that it is working for you. I ate out very little during the first year-it was just too complicated. With every new menu, I had to play 20 questions with the wait staff and they would have to go ask the kitchen - and it did take all the fun out of it.

I am now in maint for 1.5 years. I can eat out - Applebees has become a go to place. There are several grilled options for beef, chx, fish or seafood. Steamed veggies for salad for sides. They post calories counts and they are handy with the left-over box. It feels like I have rejoined civilization. You can also search many menus on line and develop one or two rest that everyone can go to.

Second, you are going through lots of changes in the first year post-op, I would suggest seeing a therapist. Not necessarily a marriage therapist, but someone who has worked with WLS patents (our peeps) and understands the many effects of this rapid bodily change may have on our lives and relationships.

Hang in there.

Thanks for the feedback/advice. I am a little over a year post-op and about 14+ months into my new way of eating. Most importantly, I am now 4 months into maintenance, and I am starting to settle into a routine that seems to be working. I will continue to be hyper vigilant as regain is terrifying to me; however, I've been able to maintain within a few pounds +/- of my target maintenance weight of 150 (I was 151 this AM, after just returning from an 8 day vacation, so that's a big moral victory)!

I don't generally have a major problem finding reasonable options when going out to restaurants - just about every place out there has WLS friendly food of some sort or another, I just find I don't enjoy it very much. The number of options is most often VERY limited, and the WLS friendly food I prepare at home is a heck of a lot more appealing than the "baked chicken breast with a side of broccoli" or the 10,000th bowl of chili!! Part of the fun of going out (at least for me) was trying a lot of new and different items, which is much more difficult with all the dietary restrictions.

Strangely, it has made cooking at home a lot more fun! I look at it as a challenge to try new and different foods that are on plan, and I find the results overall to be AMAZING! Every once in a while there is a dud, but most foods turn out really well.

Over the last couple of months my wife has even started to embrace my new way of eating. She likes the fact that I'm always collecting recipes, and it gives her the opportunity to break out of the same-old-same-old approach to dinners. Lately, she's been asking me if I have any new recipes each week and we've been trying new ones out together.

Every now and then when my husband and I are stuck for date night ideas that don't involve food we fall back on two old standbys that usually turn out to be pretty fun:

1) we play tourist in our town - we'll buy bus tour tickets or a ghost walk, something that tourists do when they come to learn more about the area but we never do because we live here. Sometimes we learn something new, sometimes we get cool stories to share with our guests while showing them around.

2) we pick a spot on the map that's max under a couple of hours drive away and then pick the most scenic route to get there. We try to take roads we've never driven on and pack snacks so we only need to stop for bathroom breaks. Good old fashioned Sunday drives except that in the summer with the late light, it can be any day really.

I'm sure your wife is happy that you are looking for ways to keep spending time with her. She may have been a little afraid that your new lifestyle might have meant leaving everything from the old one (including her?) behind, but the effort that you are putting into finding other things to do with her will hopefully show her that she is still valued.