crystalcandoit
The time is coming stomach for our break-up-a goodbye letter
Dec 01, 2017
Dear Stomach,
The time is fastly approaching when we must say good-bye to each other, yes there will be a small part of you left but most of you will be removed for ever. We had some good times together, but in actuality it was a toxic relationship. I leaned on you too much. I used you to hide my feelings of inadequacies and filled you with the junk that I did not need. I tried to work with you and be healthy time and again and you would cooperate for awhile and let me lose the weight that I needed to, but as soon as you were feeling like I forgot about the good-times, the unhealthy times, you always fought back. Sending lies to my head that I was hungry, when I wasn't, that I needed comfort foods when I didn't and you would suck me back in to our unhealthy ways. I would fall for it again and the weight would come back on and you were happy again and I would gain the weight back. I would ignore the other parts of me to satisfy you.
Well I am done, it is time to say good-bye to a large part of you. I will leave just enough of you to help me absorb the nutrients that the rest of my body needs to survive and be healthy. I am taking bak control of my relationship with food. You had to see it coming over the last 6 months, the calories decreasing, the weight coming off, but I know you were thinking that I was just playing around again and I would be back, but this time is different...You will be gone and I am fine with that. I am taking my life back and that means that most of you needs to go away.
I hope you know that I really do not blame you, it was really me, my weaknesses, my fears, my insecurities. Our co-dependent relationship was as much my fault as it was yours, but I am ready for a future without you. I call removing you a tool, because really it is about what I choose to do after the surgery. It is about me making the decision that our toxic, co-dependent, relationship has to end. I have to make changes that go much deeper than how much food you can hold. That go to the level why I let our toxic relationship continue for so long, because it was only harming me and my life in so many ways. I am ready now to stand on my own without you to fall back on when I am hurt, sad, mad, happy, confused and so on...I am ready to live my life to the fullest without fear.
I know that our break-up will be painful and I willing to face the pain of surgery and the post-op healing in order to end our toxic relationship. So we have a little over a month still together, but the end is coming. I am ignoring you until then, I am not falling for those false messages that you are trying to send to suck me back in and sabotage me. I will not let you in this time. It is time to say good-bye.