Question:
Why are some people so judgemental after weight loss?
I went on the WLS chat to talk with peers and to show my new pics. I got some very nice comments, but I recieved some nasty hurtful ones also. They are comments like those pics shouldn't be on this website!!! That a nice married girl shouldn't have sugustive pictures. My husband too these pictures and yes some were more suggestive, and they are for my husbands eyes only. I am I being to sensitive? After losing 125 lbs I still feel morbidly obese and the pictures make me fell like I am not. What do you think? — Jody Diou (posted on November 22, 2002)
November 21, 2002
There are people who will judge if you are heavy thin young old etc. Do
what makes you feel happy. When you let people push you into doing what
they want then they continue to be bullies. I couldn't see the pics on my
pc, but I if it fells good do it. Good Lux
— Robert L.
November 21, 2002
I don't blame you for wanting to show off the new you. I would do that
also. But, I just have to ask, if they were for your husbands eyes only as
you said, why were they posted on the internet?
— Delores S.
November 21, 2002
— Carol S.
November 21, 2002
Hi...I posted new pics all the time to my profile and often do go into chat
(not as much as before) but I stopped "announcing" new pics
unless they were "anniversary" pics (3 mos, 6 mos, etc.) I, too,
got "slammed" for "showing off". After it bugged me a
bit, but I got over it. I am proud of what I have accomplished and I
wasn't letting anyone take that away from me. My latest pic is in a
"little black cocktail dress" and I am dang proud of it. I don't
look at it as bragging...because I have gotten a lot of emails and comments
that I have inspired people to work harder and that I have shown that this
surgery works, etc. I look at my pictures often too...I'm not vain. I
want to always remember where I came from and where I am. I know what the
tags inside my clothes say, but I sit here and still think that I am
"fluffy"...I *need* those pictures to reassure me that I have
achieved my goal. My feeling is that if I can inspire one person to work a
little harder and I have helped that person on to a healthier life, then
*poof* to the negative people...I've helped someone and that far outweighs
the negative comments of small minded jealousy. Since joining this site I
have cheered for every pound lost by every person...I have agonized over
every single plateau posted...I have cried tears of joy for every
approval...cried tears of agony for every denial...and waited on pins and
needles for every surgery date for every person...in other words, I have
lived with my AMOS family. And in every *family* we have squabbles and
disagreements and all sorts of other stuff that makes it life...so, in all
of this I say be happy with your weight loss...be proud of your
accomplishments and show 'em off!! You've earned it!!! Have a Sparkling
Day!! ~CAE~
— Mustang
November 21, 2002
Don't listen to them! They are obviously just jealous. I looked at your
pictorial and you look beautiful! You should be proud. Unless I missed
something, I didn't see anything suggestive or wrong with any of those
pictures. And to the previous poster, I think what she meant was, there
were other more suggestive pictures that she didn't post that were for her
husband only.
— Kathy S.
November 21, 2002
I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT YOU LOOK GREAT IN YOUR PICTURES, DONT LET A FEW BAD
APPLES RUIN THE WHOLE BARREL. I HAVE BEEN ON THIS WEBSITE FOR OVER A YEAR
IM 6 MONTHS POST OP AND DOWN 100LBS, I TOO HAVE HAD BAD EXPERENCES IN THE
CHAT ROOM, ALOT OF PEOPLE ON HEAR ARE WONDERFUL AND SUPPORTIVE, IVE MET A
FEW PEOPLE AND HAVE BECOME GOOD FREINDS WITH THEM, SO I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT YOUR NOT ALONE ABOUT FEELING THE WAY YOU DO IN THE CHAT ROOM,
SOMETIMES WE DO GET PEOPLE WHO THINK THERE THE QUEEN, GIVE COMMENTS THAT
ARE CRUEL, BUT YOU JUST HAVE TO TAKE IT WITH GRAIN OF SALT AND BLOW IT OFF,
SOMETIMES PEOPLE WHO ARE JUDGEMENTAL, USUALLY HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS THAN WE
DO. SO JUST REMEMBER THAT YOU LOOK GREAT AND BE PROUD OF YOURSELF, THATS
GOOD MOTIVATION FOR YOU AND OTHERS, DONT WORRY ABOUT JEALOUSY, AND JUST BE
YOURSELF, THATS THE BEST THING FOR ALL OF US TO DO. CONGRATULATIONS, ON
YOUR WIEGHT LOSS. IF YOU NEED A FRIEND OR SOMEONE TO TALK TO EMAIL ME,
ANGIEMATHEWS
— ANGIE M.
November 21, 2002
Jody you go girl. You look marvelous! It is your turn to shine.I have about
75 more pounds to loose and then I want to have some lingerie photo's taken
for me be cause I know I can look good in Victori's Secrets. It's about
time for us to dress and look the way we want to. Right before I had
surgery my kid made me get rid of all my sweat pants. God Bless them. It is
so nice to wear form fitting clothes.
— dpayton79
November 21, 2002
Just to get one thing strait. There were more photos that were more
suggestive and those are the ones that are for my husband's eyes only. No
one can honestly sit here and tell me you have never given cat eyes to the
camera. And even if you have there is nothing wrong with being playful.
Isn't it about times we stared enjoying life no matter what size we
are!!!!!!So the photos posted to the internet are not the ones that are
suggestive.
— Jody Diou
November 21, 2002
I went to your website and the ones that I could see - the rest were
private - I thought they were fantastic!!!!!! Your before pictures are ones
you should never forget - you looked sad, unhealthy and much older then you
are. Your after pictures show a young vibrant woman - I am so envious and
can't wait to even be able to get a suggestive pose for my husband - and
give him back years of loving that he deserves for being by me at this
weight. God Bless you and like the other person said- YOU GO GIRL !!- Sally
Pletzer
— Sally P.
November 21, 2002
Jody, Your picutres are great, I can't wait till I'm at goal to post some
more picutres. My camera is in the shop.... Don't let what they say bother
you you're doing great !!
Best of luck
Post op 6 months down 100 pounds
— tannedtigress
November 21, 2002
You are beautiful! I wouldn't worry about what others think or say at all.
It is your right to post what you want on your web-site. You have to
remember that in this world there are people regardless of size, ethnic
culture, sex, whatever that will have an opinion about everything and voice
that opinion. Thats just there opinion. Be like a duck and let it just roll
off your back.
In my opinion you are looking great and show it off. You have earned it!
— crazybadbug
November 22, 2002
Please! You better believe that when I work my you-know-what off going
through with surgery, recovery, trials of eating/not eating, exercise, etc.
to get healthy that I am heading straight to the store that sells belly
chains! You are gorgeous, great job on your new body! I think it's super
that you are confident enough with your body to show it off and I am hoping
to get there some day. Instead of having to hide behind all the fat and
finally being able to feel sexy - I can't wait!
And some of the other comments are totally correct. What can you look at on
tv, magazines, catalogs, or even the kmart ad that doesn't show women
wearing underwear or bikini's, etc? You pics are hardly suggestive in
comparison.
— Dee ,.
November 22, 2002
It's called jealousy. I wouldn't worry about it. Enjoy your new life and
don't worry about what others say.
— Patty H.
November 22, 2002
Hi:
I must be looking at the wrong pictures. I looked at the before and after
pictures on your site, and saw absolutely nothing suggestive there. You
look wonderful dahling, and certainly should put those pictures there as an
inspiration to all of us. I have seen more suggestive things in my daily
newspaper. Personally, if I get to goal weight and look so fabulous, I
will probably walk around nude all day, only at home, of course. You have
a right to be so proud. It is not easy to shed those pounds. WLS is not
an easy fix, and you have to work very hard after that too. Anyway, I
think others, especially females, should nurture other females, instead of
trying to cut them down because of jealousy. Keep up the good work, hon.
And honestly, you only have to please those you care about, like hubby and
family, no one else.
Love Grace
— Grace H.
November 22, 2002
Ok This bashing has got to stop. I think that all of these people who send
nasty messages and emails and say hurtful, uncalled for things should be
exposed. You should post their names and email address along with the
message that you got on the message board (that is if the moderators will
let it through) and on the Q&A to expose the jealous rats that have
nothing better to do with their day. I bet they will think differently when
people are openly talking about them and not privately emailing. It is
people like this who run the longer term post ops away. I love hearing of
the long term success stories and even the shorter ones- these people hold
information that is very valuable to me and alot of other members. So
please just take that with a grain of salt and realize than jealousy is a
very ugly thing that brings out the worse in people. By the way- you look
great
— Teekay80
November 22, 2002
I just checked out your pictures too, and you are beautiful. And not only
that, you look happy. You should not feel morbidly obese anymore, and
whenever you do, check out your pics-you look wonderful. I say
"ditto" to what the others have said, just ignore the bad
comments. Remember, this is a board of opinions and some opinions you will
embrace, and the others, just let them go. BTW, congrats on the weight
loss!
— Cindy R.
November 22, 2002
Woman you look great! Don't worry about those "playa haters"
It's all about how you feel about you. You should be proud of yourself and
live a happy along life..enjoy it you deserve it!!! Best wishes, aims
— chickiewickie
November 22, 2002
I agree with you & I'm still pre-op. I've seen alot of this & I
don't understand. I thought this would be one of those places where a
person could receive unconditional support. I find the post-op pictures
inspirational & really help encourage me during the long waiting game.
I think you look great & have a great reason to be proud of yourself.
Their answers have everything to do with them & nothing to do with you!
Stay positive & don't let them get to you!!!
Julie
— Julie M.
November 22, 2002
Excuse the phrase BUT, You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Those of us who know what it is like to be ridiculed for being overweight
would never dream of commenting on your post op pictures. You have come a
long way and sacrificed ALOT to get where you are today. I say "Way To
Go!" I think it is great that you have such wonderful self esteem.
Sounds to me like maybe there is some jealousy out there? Keep up the good
work!
— Jennifer O.
November 23, 2002
People---today is my first time to this site--and I'm crying-I didn't know
there were people out there who felt and looked like me--EVERYONE OF YOU
ARE AN INSPIRATION TO ME AND SHOULD BE TO YOURSELF!!!!!!! God bless all of
you-I'm calling a MD on Monday--I have to "FOR MYSELF" THANK
YOU!
— Carolyn G.
November 23, 2002
Yes, I'd come here and cry too! That very cool before/after function was
really inspiring. What always struck me most (and still does) was not so
much the changes in body but the obvious changes in *spirit* which shine
through the pics! There is much more to this process than the weight loss.
It's a whole new life for us!! As for the spoil sports, who cares about
them?! Apparently they do not have thier new lives or spirits yet!
— Chris T.
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