Question:
Am I the only one who have lied

Ok I hate to admit this but I find myself lying about my weight so I can make people think I lost more than I have. athough I have lost 125 pounds I tell people I have lost 145 pounds. I look skinnier (to me) than I really am and I don't want people to say" You're still fat. Also, I still don't look at myself in mirrors outside of my room. Am I alone or do I need to speak to my psych. P.S. I tell the truth here because I know everyone here will not judge me. 16 mos out was 310 now 185 still need to lose 40 more.    — Rebe W. (posted on January 29, 2003)

January 29, 2003
No, you are not alone. I have fudged the amount, upping the amount to the nearest tenth of a pound or more; instead of having lost 137 pounds, I will say I have lost 140-150 pounds. It makes us look better doesn't it? well at least inside of my head it does. I do usually state that I have gained about 15 pounds back, which is the truth. The only people who will not know the truth is ourselves,(well, and anyone who is close enough to us to know the actual truth), because who is really going to know? If other's do not admit to this, they are not being honest.
   — twenc

January 29, 2003
Oddly enough, I lie the other way. Most people don't know I've had surgery, and throughout my weight loss I've "under" estimated by about 25%. So if I lost 100, I say I lost 75, etc. For some reason, I don't want people to know how much I've lost. Weird.
   — mom2jtx3

January 29, 2003
You're not the only one who slips a little on the truth about it, but like the previous poster said, I actually do it the other way sometimes. I've lost over 100 pounds so far in 8 months, but sometimes I'll say I lost 80 or 90. No one knows much about WLS, so that amount seems astronomical to them anyway. Whenever I tell them "100 lbs" people are shocked and say "you couldn't have been that heavy" which is nice to hear, but I think I'm scared for them to know the truth, you'll think, "god she was really fat." You mentioned you don't like to look in mirrors, do you still see yourself as heavy? Losing weight alone doesn't always shed the image we've known of ourselves. I can't see you, but I can assure you that after losing 125 lbs and being 185, you must look great! It will take time to be happy with yourself, but be proud, you have done great!! Goodluck to you :)
   — Lezlie Y.

January 29, 2003
Hi Honey: Just to let you know that you are a real success story. Your weight loss is wonderful, no matter what you say to anyone. The sad thing is that to us who have suffered from obesity, 185 pounds is great. In the skinny world, many think this is high. Of course, they never weighed 200 pounds plus. I think when you lose as much as you, you actually look thinner than your actual weight. I know you must look and feel beautiful. As for lying, I find myself never wanting to say exactly how much I have lost. For one thing, I have told very few people about WLS, and for another I really don't want anyone to guess at my starting weight. It is funny, I tell my weight to everyone on here, but in most of my life it is a deep, dark secret. Please keep doing what you are doing. It seems no one even doubts that you weight what you say you do. Love Grace
   — Grace H.

January 29, 2003
Hi, Rebe! I liked your question - it got me to thinking about what I'll do after surgery. Very few people know my true weight - only my son, who is super MO, his fiancee, and my mother. Even my husband doesn't know. I'm not sure if I'm going to tell him after WLS or not. I might, if I get to the point where I weigh less than him (lol)! When we met six years ago, I weighed around 240 (I'm at 260 now), but I think he thinks I weigh about 220. I can pass for weighing that, as I've always looked like I weighed less than I actually do (even when I was "thin" at 185 I looked like 155 or 160). So if I do decide to lie to others about my weight loss, it will probably be in reverse. I'm not sure if I want them to know I weighed 260. Anyway, whatever you do about this is a personal decision, I believe. You don't even have to tell people how much you've lost, unless you really want to. If they ask "how much have you lost," you could just say "a lot," and they should get the hint that it's none of their business anyway. Congratulations on your fantastic weight loss. You've done great!
   — Carlita

January 30, 2003
I also under play how much I have lost. When people ask, I usually say 70 even though it is now 93. People always think I weigh much less than I do(they say 135 and I am actually 156), so in my mind, if I admit to the real loss, they will think I weighed alot more than I am willing to admit to. I don't think you need to speak to your shrink about it. I think most women do fudge on their true weight, whether heavy or not-do you really think the weight on drivers licenses is accurate?! LOL..
   — Cindy R.

January 30, 2003
Since I've been on the plateau from hell (of my own making) for months, I've been rounding up pretty much thru this whole process...when I had only lost 67 or so, I would say 75, now I am at 75lbs off, but I say 80. Aragh! I want it to be 100 off already. Oh well...
   — rebeccamayhew

January 30, 2003
What business is it of theirs anyway? Tell 'em whatever you like!
   — Leslie R.

January 30, 2003
I too have kept this surgery a secret. However, I have NEVER told anyone how much weight I have lost. I have been asked many times and my answer to them is "a lot" with a smile. This is usually the end of the conversation. It would take someone with a lot of guts to persist and insist on a number. I've only had 1 person ask a follow-up and it was even more absurd!! She said "Well, then how much do you weigh?"I said, "My husband doesn't even know THAT!!" and laughed. I guess I have two reasons for not admitting my weight loss amount. First, I realize that losing the amount of weight that I did on my own, would seem impossible. So if I were to say 140 pounds, I would be afraid that I would be "discovered" or have to give a dishonest answer about HOW I did it. Second, by actually telling the number, it somehow lets everyone know how BIG I actually was. (As if they couldn't tell by looking!!) But the number is more obvious! I have never discussed my actually loss because I have kept it private/secret. I quickly change the subject. Now being over 2 years out, thankfully my weight (or loss of it) is no longer THE topic!! I am now normal!! Shelley
   — Shelley.

January 30, 2003
HOw bizarre that you asked this because I have been thinking about this myself. Years ago I lost about 65 pounds by watching my fat intake. I lied and told everyone I had lost more and felt so guilty about it. Now that I have lost 100 pounds via my lap rny in less than 5 months, I try not to lie. But when we hit these horrible plateaus, it's hard to say, "No, I haven't lost anymore in the last 2 weeks." My scales at home are off so to be honest, I am not exactly sure how much I weigh. My surgeon's office is about 1 1/2 hours away so I can not weigh there often. I don't go back to him until March. My brother's scales weigh me at 221 pounds and he says his is accurate with his doctor's. My scales weigh me in at 224. It's only a 3 pound difference, but when you reach a milestone like the 100 mark, you want to know FOR SURE. I say I have lost 100 pounds because even if my scales are the correct ones, I'm only off by a couple of pounds. Who gives a flying poop? I started at 321 and when I tell people that now, EVERY one of them say they would have never guessed I was that heavy. This is why my goal is around 160 because I think I would look too small at 140/150.....But believe me Honey, you are not the only one who fibs about their loss. The only thing that would concern me about it is how it is making you feel when you know you haven't yet reached that weight. It has made me feel like crap when I did it....Take care Sweetie!!!
   — karmiausnic

February 2, 2003
Hi, good question, I would not tell the amount of weight that I lost to everyone(only to some in my close cirle). The others I wouldn't give any amount too, I would say something like " lets just say I lost a lot of weight, and still loosing ok! " smiling proudly. Some people ask that question to be noisy and negatively talk to others about -- and some mean no harm and are happy for you. I try to never worry nor wonder what others may be thinking, because they will do that regardless -- I try having a come-back line and try giving the hint to mind their business(in some cases)and have them focus on themselves, besides people can be mean than I tin to be a little mean myself(or defensive one of the two). GOOD LUCK!!
   — JUNE P.

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