Question:
Anyone feel like the weight has come off too easy and they haven't worked hard enough

I'm sure many of you might think I am nuts for "complaining" about losing too easy but this is bothering me. I am 6 months and 1 week post-op and as of today I am down to 292 lbs for a loss of 150 lbs. I am not complaining but I feel like I haven't worked hard enough to be deserving of such a wonderful loss. I see other people struggling so hard to get off plateaus, and exercise 5-7 days a week and complaining of being so hungry and having cravings and I can't say I have done or experienced any of that. I do structured exercise at most 2 days a week, which consists of 30 minutes of weights and 30 minutes of treadmilling. I do try to give it my all but it's only the 2 days. I am way more active in my everyday life and I know that helps but I am not getting in an equivalent of 30 minutes of walking 5-7 days of the week. I still find I have to kick myself in the butt to get out and cut grass etc, and I really don't mind it too much either, but nevertheless I have to push myself. I guess old lazy habits die hard! I have followed the post-op eating plan quite strictly but have been eating more than the 4 ounces my plan calls for. I've been eating 3-6 ounces for about the last 30+ days, yet I still continue to lose quickly. I lost 6 pounds this week and even skipped my workout on Tuesday. I guess what I am worried about is that since the weight has come off so easy have I truly learned the right habits that I will need for long term weight maintenance. In 94/95 I lost 200 lbs on my own but in the process became scale and exercise obsessed. I do not want to go there again so I only weigh when I work out and I had consciously limited my exercise to find something I could live with, but I assumed by now I would have to be increasing it. The 2+ hours I used to exercise per day is not normal and not something I could do for the rest of my life. My fibromyalgia laden body would never tolerate it any more. My feeling is that right now if I was to cut back to the 4 ounces I should be eating and increase the exercise to the level my surgeon wants that I would either lose so much faster that I would be unhealthy or that my body would revolt and try and protect itself and plateau etc. I'm just confused as to why I have not had to work as hard. I know I should shut up and just be happy. But I am a logical person and things need to make sense to me. I belong to another on-line support group and there is a woman who truly embraces every minute of her new life and works so hard at doing the right things. She had been scooter bound for 10 years and is now able to do so many more things and she takes 100% advantage of those opportunities. Was I not sick enough to truly appreciate what has happened to me? People say to me that I should be so proud of the weight I lost but my feeling is I haven't done hardly anything. I am proud of my decision to take my life into my hands and chose surgery and chose to live. I am also proud of all the support I have given the local pre and post-ops as I know how I would have loved it before surgery. I guess I'm feeling like only good things should come to those who have truly earned it. I'm used to having to work hard to be successful and I typically arose to the occassion. This hasn't been a huge challenge for me and I don't understand why. Just to clarify I am in counseling and will be working on this with my counselor and I am on depression meds and it has been very well controlled for over 3 years, it's just that I am feeling a little vulnerable to not having truly changed for good. Maybe it's just the 6 months taking stock blues. Like I said I am very pleased with the progress I have made and wish the same success for everyone. I just have some things playing with my head right now and would love to know if anyone else has felt this way. Thanks, Chris — zoedogcbr (posted on August 9, 2003)

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August 9, 2003
For me....Physically the weightloss may be to easy but mentally and emotionally I am earning every pound loss.I can't just go off this "diet" for a minute and comfort myself with food anymore.That's been my biggest struggle.Getting my head on board with my stomach.
— jennifer A.

August 9, 2003
I'm only 3 1/2 months post-op, but I think that all the time. I've lost 70lbs to date. I only have 32lbs to go to my goal weight of 130lbs. I'm EXTREMELY pleased about my weight loss. But, I worry frequently that I may eventually go back to my old eating habits and laziness. I am one that exercises constantly now. I've changed my eating habits. My taste buds have changed for the better, and I'm trying to capitalize on that! I love the way I feel! I think that since you are so concerned about changing that is a good thing. You are very aware of what you eat, your activity level, etc. I know people who have had this surgery that think that the surgery will do it all for them. These people are the ones who will have big problems. This surgery is not a fix for our heads unfortunately. I think we will have to be very conscious for the rest of our lives of our activity level and what we put in our mouth! I keep promising myself if I ever gain even 5lbs I will stop and lose it! Losing weight has never been so easy, but I don't want to take this lightly. Your other concern about depression will have a role to play for you also since, as I'm sure you well know, when you are depressed your energy level drops and you can have a tendency to want comfort foods. Seeing a therapist on a regular basis, taking your meds as prescribed and seeing a psychiatrist is going to be very important. I also think that a WLS support group is very important and should be a life long goal to stick with. I'm a counselor, but I deal with worries just as you do. What you are feeling is very normal. I hear lots of other WLS recipients ask the same questions and have the same concerns. I think you are doing an awesome job at losing weight even if you feel it was easy. Good luck on your journey.
— Lisa C.

August 9, 2003
Yes.I suspect you're reluctant to celebrate your success, and giving yourself a hard time, because of fear of weight regain. You know what it's like to lose a tremendous amount of weight as a pre-op, with months and months of healthy eating and exercise, only to regain it anyhow. It's unbelievably crushing. Perhaps that makes it really hard to celebrate your success with WLS now, and it makes you wonder if you're really capable of changing your lifestyle the way you have to in order to succeed in the long run. Maybe anything less than perfect self-denial suggests to you that you're already flirting with regain, at least, mentally. The weight loss is merely a battle, fierce though it is. But the war is won in the maintenance phase, and *that* takes a lifetime. I guess I shouldn't even call it a war, because I don't think it ever really ends for the formerly M.O. "The definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over again, expecting different results." If being particularly hard on yourself has NOT worked to keep you from regaining in the past (and I know it hasn't), kick it to the curb!There's nothing weak, or less dedicated about you, because you discover that, for you, and for now, maybe a 30-minute workout works just as well as two hours used to in terms of your weight loss. The point is, you're still exercising, which is key to maintenance and avoiding regain. Cutting back on your food right now would achieve no real purpose in terms of maintenance, either, because you'll eat more in the long run, not less. And, you're still losing, so why cut back? Rather than comparing yourself unfavorably to others, or to your fresh post-op self, focus on whatever you're doing differently *this time* from previous diets, and figure out which new lifestyle changes will be the true anchors in your new life -- the ones that let you explore "loosening up" a little bit, but still bring you back when you need it. For me, it's substituting high protein snacks (and eating protein first) as much as I can. I didn't do that on Weight Watchers; my "points" went to carbs as much as possible, and I lost weight (but never my head hunger) doing that. I'm doin' it now, though, mostly because I never did it before, and I need for this time to be different. It's also the reason I still use protein shakes -- because I never used them before, and I see them as a twice-daily reminder that I am NOT who I used to be. I eat frequent, small meals now (pretty much have to, huh?), instead of three squares -- because I never did *that* before, either. These (and the gym) are my anchors to my new lifestyle. They seem to keep me on track even when I eat more carbs or sugars than I should, or work out less than I used to, because instead of "falling off the wagon," I find that it's possible to compensate for my "bad" food choices now and still live with them. And on reflection, many of the things I really "rode" myself about (and still do) turn out to be not so bad, after all. It's soooo hard, learning what is "normal," never really having lived in the world between losing ("diet") and gaining (overeating/not exercising). You don't have to fight every battle of this war *today*. The fact that you already know maintenance is the big issue puts you way ahead of the game, and you'll deal with it as it comes. Meanwhile, put on your party hat, blow your horn, and try to enjoy your success a little bit, fercryin'outloud! ;-D
— Suzy C.

August 9, 2003
Jennifer, Lisa and Suzy, Thank you so much for responding. Your words do help me and give me other people's perspectives. I guess I am realizing for me that the total issue with my weight is 100% mental. The weight has been my protector and if I take the steps to eat healthy and exercise, even a little, my body has cooperated incredible two different times, which are the only times I really ever made a decision to lose weight. My body is saying it wants to he healthy but my head has prevented it. I was hoping I would not go through the same mental issues this time, but I guess I am destined to. Hopefully this time they can be permanently tamed or put to rest for good. I truly do feel so much better physically and enjoy looking at myself in the mirror or window reflection and seeing the clothes sizes drop quickly is a hoot. I've gone from a 36W pants and shorts to 24W in 6 months, which is unbelieveable. I know I will get through this and conquer this life long issue with the help of my counselor, meds, psychiatrist and people like you who care enough to take the time to respond and help me look at things through different eyes. Thank You So Much! Chris
— zoedogcbr

August 9, 2003
Chris- Thanks for writing what I've been feeling since my first month when I dropped over 80 pounds. I too am worried that I haven't suffered enough, particularly as I am dipping below the original goal I had set for myself in terms of clothing size after about 10 months. And, sometimes I feel guilty that I have been able to lose it steadily with plateaus of no more than 3-5 days. The Puritan ethic also afflicts me (I guess that the third grade field trip visit to Plimouth Plantation did me in) and I do sometimes worry that my losses will somehow be taken away if I don't work harder. But, friends and my wife remind me that I do struggle with the issues ever day (even though I might not be exercising)-- so, maybe, just maybe, we are working hard at weight loss, but just in ways that may not be visible.
— SteveColarossi

August 9, 2003
Steve, Thanks for writing! You have given me some things to really think about. My counselor always says I am too hard on myself. I guess I need to look at the changes I have made and realize that maybe they weren't simple. I know I went into surgery with the right attitude and a very realistic perspecitive and maybe that's why I don't feel this has been hard but in someone elses eyes they see it differently. I know the throwing up and incisional problems I had post-op most people were appalled about but to me they were minor in the scheme of things and would eventually resolve themselves. Took over 4 months and a 2nd surgery to get the incision to close, but I still do not see that as a huge deal. Maybe because I had such realistic expectations is why it has seemed so easy. Don't know, but you've given me something to explore. THANKS!! Congrats on your new life and you look awesome! It's hard to imagine reaching ones goals in 1 year or less when we started at the kind of numbers we did. Just blows my mind. Chris
— zoedogcbr

August 10, 2003
Naturally thin people don't suffer. They don't fixate on food. We, on the flip side, have fixated on food probably most of our lives. It IS a head game. The head game part of it IS the toughest. I am not suffering now and I don't think I should suffer to have success. I will be forever pleased I found a tool that is truly helpful. I believe this WLS only provides you with portion control. Other 'bad' habits and psychological reasons one might eat, are NOT helped by WLS. There are other ways to 'fix' those problems. I'd be concerned if I felt I must suffer before I could find success. And I don't feel 'this' is as EASY as it sounds. I have to work at eating properly and exercising. It's just that after WLS, there is portion control. When anyone asks me if I'd recommend WLS, I say ONLY if your eating 'disorder' stems from lack of portion control. If you are a junk food eater or a big time snacker and you already eat small portions, I wouldn't think this would work for you in the long run. This BLOWS my mind!! Get this....My sister told me there actually was a website SOMEWHERE (I care NOT to ever find it!) that will coach you on how to get around the eating limits WLS provides you. Can you believe????????
— Ginger M.

August 10, 2003
I don't care if it's "too easy". I've struggled long enough, I deserve this!
— Angie M.

August 10, 2003
Hey Chirs...thanks for your thoughts. Let me tell you my story...I have absolutely NOT been the poster girl for post op behavior, but I have still lost all my excess weight. It's been slow going, and I am just now getting "with the program" in terms of exercise, at least. Anyway, don't feel guilty. Enjoy your life, and food. This surgery has provided a miracle for most of us to be freed from the psychological bonds of "good" and "bad" food...those lucky, naturally thin people had the good fortune to be born with that...others of us have had to assist nature a bit...no big whoop!
— rebeccamayhew

August 10, 2003
I agree with Angie. Preop, I worked a long time and did everything "right", diet, exercise etc. and never lost weight. I'm not a poster child for post op behavior either. The day after I went back to the gym post op I was in a serious car accident. I didn't walk for 8 weeks so there went the exercise. Most days I eat what I want and eat 5-6 small meals. I get in my protein most days but it's an effort to make myself make that protein drink. I eat carbs, I occasionally graze, I don't weigh or measure my food. Bad. bad. bad. But in 7 months I've lost 70 lbs. Do I feel guilty? No. I remember someone once telling me that the key to weight loss was everything in moderation which is what I do. I'm an Atkins veteran. I went on Atkins for the first time in 1972 when I was 14 years old. And have done it ad nauseum. I simply can't do high protein "diets" anymore and my personal take on it is that I don't want to be on a "diet". My only restriction is sugar and most breads because I don't want to binge and both of those foods make me feel awful after I've had them. Other than that I do not feel a shred of guilt. I worked many many years to lose weight and didn't. If I'm coasting now, so be it. I deserve it.
— susanje

August 10, 2003
People who lose weight fast suffer too. They go through clothes quickly, and they have a much higher chance of having lose skin and needing plastic surgery. For the first time in your life you're not suffering, good! You deserve it. I am losing more slowly, but I am losing for the first time ever. So I am not suffering either. :)
— mrsmyranow

August 10, 2003
I'm not saying I don't deserve things but I do not feel I deserve to be any more successful than someone else. We all work at this in different ways. I guess I'd feel better if I could force myself to do things when I really don't want to. To have that control or determination.
— zoedogcbr

August 10, 2003
Just a comment...anyone can lose weight, and most of us quickly and without too much effort, during the 6+-month Honeymoon Period...after the 6th month, watch out. Things change drastically for most of us. The weight loss slows down considerably. You will need a structured exercise program and more strict adherence to your eating protocol. So best to be getting into the life-long habits early on, even if you feel, because of the easy weight loss, that you don't need to. Down the road, you will. Hugs, Joy
— [Deactivated Member]

August 10, 2003
I feel long ago I left the honeymoon period and this is life. I have lost more weight in the past 6-8 weeks, which doesn't quite go with the slowing down theory. I realize it will likely slow down and therefore am thankful I have 150 already gone, but the slow dowwn does not happen to everyone, just like losing 150 in 6 months doesn't happen to everyone. I do appreciate the reminder and warning and I am well aware of it. Maybe the last 100 lbs being slower would be better for me mentally anyway.
— zoedogcbr

August 10, 2003
Are you talking about a fear that you haven't made deep-down transformational changes in your relationship with food and self, and that this could "wear off" or "change back?" If so, honey, I hear ya! And why wouldn't you be worried about that, after your past loss and regain of 200 pounds? (I've done that, too, though not all at once.)Personally, I think your awareness that weight regain is totally possible, even with surgery, will serve you well. I'm amazed every day when people here say glibly, "90 pounds lost forever!", or whatever, like the only reason they were ever MO in the first place is that their stomach was too big or their intestines too long, and now that that's taken care of - Yay! Home free! I don't think so. I have lost 92 pounds (385 to 293) in about 16 months, after getting my thyroid working and my depression symptoms in remission. I have not had surgery at this point, because I have no way to get it. I worry all the time that the changes I've made in my behaviors, even though they feel very significant, will not last. 'Cause we've all been there - certain that this time is THE time, only it turns out it isn't. But having surgery has improved your chance of lasting success *tremendously* and I bet that, coupled with your awareness that you need to make significant emotional changes, too, will make you one of the most successful people here. Good luck to you!
— Kim A.

August 10, 2003

— zoedogcbr

August 10, 2003
THANK YOU everyone for your responses. Lot's of good information and lots to think about. I know I feel some better after putting this out there and finding I am not alone in my feelings. I am glad I have the feelings I do and am looking ahead as to what I need for long-term success. Today is a new day and a new week and I feel some better about this situation. I will be working on it with my counselor when I see her next week. I plan to take my post and all the responses along, so she can see what other post-ops experiences and opinions are. She is a great counselor but she would be the first to say she has not lived this life and does not have all the answers. Thansk again! Chris D.
— zoedogcbr

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