Question:
Get upset when people don't recognize you?
Does any else get a little upset when people don't recognize you? I've lost 106lbs so far ( 40 more to go). I've had so many people that I've known for years, that I don't see everyday, tell me they don't recognize me. I've had people say a polite hello and walk by, then when I tell them who it is.. they are shocked..lol. While I'm glad they notice the loss, I'm still me. I think I still look like me. Hubby says "Hon, you've lost over 100 lbs, you're blond now, you've lost about 3 chins, YOU LOOK DIFFERENT." Am I being too sensative?? SHould I enjoy this?? One woman stood there and said she was listening to the voice to see if it is mine. SHe's a great lady, hadn't seen her in a few months, but we've always been close. I'm being silly I guess.. Thanks.. — KellyJeanB (posted on January 12, 2004)
January 12, 2004
I love it when someone doesn't recognize me. I know I look different now
and it makes me appreciate it all the more. Maybe when you get a little
more used to your new look you will enjoy it more. I think its funny when
it happens to me.
— Sharon1964
January 12, 2004
Help me out when you ask if you are being too sensitive. Too sensitive to
what exactly? Are you thinking that, because people don't recognize you,
they all assumed that you would always be obese? Or are you offended at the
prospect that you feel you are potentially losing some part of your
identity by losing your excess weight? Each time I'm not recognized
(which is often because we have many acquaintences who only see us once or
twice a year) I find tremendous confirmation that I made the right choice
and that I am continuing to use the tool of the new pouch effectively.
— SteveColarossi
January 12, 2004
I'm going to be real honest here...early out, at first, I wanted people to
notice me. When I finally thought about it, I determined, for me, it was
being vain. Don't get me wrong, I still feel that way within MYSELF. My
thought process is "I hope they see how much weight I've lost".
Finally getting rid of the excess, unhealthy hideous weight, helped to
boost my self-estemm through the roof! But anymore, if anyone notices or
not, doesn't make any difference...I know it's been a long time coming, and
I feel better about myself, and actually, look better. Best wishes to all
wherever you are in your WLS journey. Proximal LAP RNY 9/3/02
265/138/115-126, 5'2" down approximately 127 lbs and enjoying it!!
Hadiyah McCutcheon, a.k.a~~~
— yourdivaness
January 12, 2004
I'm a very sensitive person and I say, YES you are being to sensitve. Think
of it this way.If you know someone terribley overweight and they lost 40 or
so pounds in around 1.5 months... and you did'nt know they had surgery,
more than likely you'd walk by them and not know who they are. Should they
be ticked off at you? We change VERY quickly. Personally I found it a riot
when people walked right by me and never paid me any mind. I'd say,
something to the effect, "hey there, don't speak!" I said this
laughing so they'd know I was joking with them. They were amazed and not
ignoring me. Try not to let it bother you. Rather be pleased that who
you've always been INSIDE is now showing since the outside is melting away.
:)
— Danmark
January 12, 2004
Nope, I think it's funny!! I went into the post office the other day and
ran into my hubby's cousin. He just stood there with his mouth wide open
staring at me like a deer caught in headlights!! I had to laugh!! Not
sure if he knew who I was!!
— Terri G.
January 12, 2004
i think it's great that people don't recognize me. i've stood in line next
to people at the store that i never liked to begin with and this way i
didn't have to make dull conversation. i just stood there like i was any
other stranger...
— candymom64
January 12, 2004
I think it's a total hoot when people look at me then do a double-take when
I say hello and call them by name. And my own precious little granddaughter
who loves me totally did the same thing when she saw me at Christmas. I've
also lost about three chins, and my hair is cut differently. She didn't
recognize me until I called her name and it had only been three months
since she saw me too! I love it.........that means this is working!
— SCbabe B.
January 12, 2004
This happens to me all the time and I think it is funny. I enjoy
it!!!!!!!!1
— Delores S.
January 12, 2004
I love not being recognized. My favorite story is when I went away for a
week long cruise, my mother (whom I see at least 4 times a week and who had
dropped me off at the airport) didn't recognize me. I purposely walked
right past her and she had no clue who I was. She called out to my husband
(who was walking right next to me), "Where's Kelly?" I replied
"Geez, Mom. I go away for a week and you forget what I look
like." It was a hoot. As for other people, that don't see me as
often, I take it as a major compliment. For the first time in my life
people don't recognize me because I look too thin to be the person they
were expecting. It is great and I let it boost my self esteem. It's
better that they don't recognize us because we've lost weight instead of
gaining it (now THAT would embarass me)....Kelly 315/150*at goal*less than
half the person I used to be!*
— klinzey
January 12, 2004
I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I was talking to a friend
of mine about another friend who we hadn't seen in a long time and then
later that day I went to the post office and there she was. I walked up to
her and said "hey I was just talking about you. How are you?".
She looked at me wierd and said "okay I know I know you but I can't
place your name". I was like oh my god it is me Mercy. I like to go
out and show myself off but I get upset when people do not recognize me. I
to feel like I still look like my old self.
— Mercy P.
January 12, 2004
I kinda get a kick out of it. I do find it hard to believe that people
really don't recognize me, but I look at it as a compliment!
— Fixnmyself
January 12, 2004
it's not your personality that they don't recognize...it's the new body.
there is noway i would ever get upset about that! i think i would get upset
if they DIDN'T see a difference. and yes........you are silly!! hahaha hugs
and congrats on your weightloss
— franbvan
January 12, 2004
I know when I look in the mirror I still see me. I've lost 139lbs but I
still see ME with the 139 extra lbs. I do not get upset when people do not
recognize me. Frankly I think it's funny but it's also realistic that they
do not recognize me. I've lost some weight, I've cut my hair, I am not
waddling as much as before <G> and my hair is red from mouse brown.
Heck if I didn't know it was me I wouldn't know it's me <G> I attend
this reunion every summer and someone who only sees me every summer asked
others why I wasn't at this reunion. They pointed across the room and told
this woman that I was standing right there. Needless to say she had passed
me many times during this reunion and I even said hi to her but she had no
clue it was me lol The point is this... We are the same to ourselves.. and
given the chance the same to others... just packaged differently. Enjoy
your new look!!!
— MaxineB
January 12, 2004
I live in a small town with only on grocery store. The other day I walked
in to purchase a few things. The lady who works there smiled at me. When I
had my things, I went to her to pay for the items. Only then did she
recognize me. She said, "I did not know that was you when you walked
in". That makes me feel good to know that after all this hard work, It
is paying off. I like knowing that I DO NOT look the same as before. I look
better, I feel better. I feel like a new woman. If people didn't see the
changes, that is what would upset me. Janice
— betterfitness
January 12, 2004
I say ENJOY it! MY own Hubby does not reconize me, best friends. I have
lost -143 pounds as of last week in only 6 mo. I am VERY happy and proud. I
am now returning back home CA. after 3 years can't waite to see what
happens there. This is just a little Vac. for me I leave the 30th YIPPEE!!
— Janine Greenwood
January 12, 2004
Oh timing is everything. I was at a wake the other day with 3 of my
sisters. One of them remarked how much older other relatives looked but
that she still felt that she looked young. I didn't say anything but
wondered if my sister is blind to the wrinkles she's gotten.
I did see someone a week or so ago that asked me if I was losing weight.
What a hoot being down 100+ lbs. & 30-40 more til goal.
Best wishes!
— Diane S.
January 12, 2004
I had an opposite experience before WLS. I was at my parent's 50th
anniversary and saw lots of family and frieds I had not seen in years.
Some of them had never seen me as big as I had gotten. I saw my Godfather
(possibly a lot older and a bit senile) and he didn't recognize me fat.
Then he said something like "Oh there you are, I can see you in your
eyes." It brought tears to my eyes and certainly made me all the more
determined to have this surgery. He died this winter..I wish I could have
seen him again after WLS...but he will surely see me from up in Heaven.
— saltybichon
January 12, 2004
Just wait until the people who haven't seen you since your surgery DON'T
say anything, knowing full well you've changed. My husband works with some
very JEALOUS girls in his front office area. They saw me at my heaviest.
I went in the other day (after losing 105 lbs.) and no one said a word
about my weight loss. It cracked me up. It is very obvious to my neighbor
who sees me everyday, yet when I haven't seen those girls in about 8
months, they can't even speak of the fact that I look different. They
didn't have to say I looked GOOD. But it's obvious I looked different then
what they were used to seeing. Now that is caddy!
— doubleh
January 12, 2004
It takes a while to get used to too much attention - and no attention...
everything is different! Frankly, I am just happy to be healthy, and now
happy that people just stop commenting altogether. It hurts the most when
people who are close make such a big deal like I have changed internally. I
am stil the same person. The biggest difference is that I am now happy to
be alive.
— kultgirl
January 12, 2004
Yes! You're being too sensitive. Honey, you've changed. Why would you
expect people to recognize you? YOU may not see it now, but I guarantee
that one day when you catch a unexpected glimpse of yourself in a mirror,
or when you compare your before and after pics, YOU will not recognize
yourself. Then, you'll understand how all those people feel. I never
realized I was as fat as I was, until I compared my before and 'after'.
One day, I was shopping and didn't realize I was looking in a mirror, while
I was thinking to myself, "oh- that girl has the same coat as
me." Wow! what a revalation, when I realized it was ME I was looking
at. Time will be your friend on this issue. If not, it's a good idea to
seek out some therapy for body dismorphic syndrome. Good luck to you!
— LMCLILLY
January 13, 2004
There have been a couple of times that people haven't recognized me. I
think it's kind of funny, because I still think I look the same! The best
one was my own sister. My Dad had been in the hospital, and I was coming
in to see him as she was leaving. We were in a hallway, about 30 feet from
each other. I started waving at her, and she didn't wave back. When we
got close enough to speak, she said, "I couldn't figure out who this
woman was who was waving at me - I didn't recognize you!" It really
doesn't bother me - if they don't recognize me, I see that as a good thing.
My mind will catch up eventually.
— Carlita
January 13, 2004
I think that you are overly sensitive. I'm with your husband on this. I
laugh when people do not recognize me. They often get embarrased, but let's
face it, after 100lbs and a different style of clothing I do not look
anything like my old self. I have even been mistaken for daughter at a
distance (my face looks older).
— M B.
January 13, 2004
I think its so funny when people dont know me. Heck my own SISTER didnt
know who I was until I spoke to her. She hadnt seen in about 8 months but
still... At at a family picnic last summer, my Aunt asked where I was when
I was sitting right next to her. I've worked for the same company for 15
years and people who dont see me everyday still do double takes. I love
it. Relax and enjoy. ~Sidney~ Open RNY 10-23-02 down 130+
— Siddy I.
January 13, 2004
Concerning not recongnising someone, I just thought of this. This Christmas
my brother fell asleep and was slumped over cute. His wife asked me to take
a picture of him with her camera. What I did'nt know at the time was his
son was right behind me, not wanting to take his picture until MY FLASH
went off as it would wake him up. Anywho, I saw my nephew's photo of my
brother and I was in the photo leaning in for the picture I took! Honestly
my first thought was who was this guy leaning over. Now I'm 2 years, 8
months out... and I was floored as I did'nt think I looked that skinny
until I saw myself in a photo I did'nt know I was in! Ouch. (Still alot
OVER GOAL- yet happy and surprised by my own appearence in a photo). Heck
if I don't know ME, why should I expect anyone else too. LOL. <Still
grinning and amazed several years out!> :)
— Danmark
January 13, 2004
Original poster here. Thanks everyone for your input. I have compared
before and after pics, even caught glimpses in store windows, and not
realized it was me. And yes I know I look different. It just gets a
little fristrating sometimes..lol. I guess I was just having a down week.
<<shrug>>. I'll get over it. Thanks again :-)
— KellyJeanB
January 13, 2004
Personally, I think it's great and find it hilarious when people don't
recognize me. The shock on their faces is something to behold! And I've
found people are so much nicer when the don't know it's you (my friends
anyway lol). Also an added bonus - if I run into someone I didn't like
before, they don't know it's me, so I don't have to talk to them :o) Have
fun with it ~ it's a great achievement and compliment...Denise 316/157
— lily1968
January 23, 2004
Doesn't bother me at all...I think it's hilarious. Today, an old patient
returned to our office where I work (Physical Therapy) and he asked me what
happened to the old girl that used to work here? (ME) LOL However, even
funnier was when my husband was searching the house at a Christmas Party
looking for me. He passed me three times before he 'recognized' me!
— Julie S.
Click Here to Return