Question:
Anyone find themselves afraid to succeed?
I am about 25 pounds from goal and find myself doing everything that I know is wrong. Sugar...no protein...no exercise...etc. I have not gained at all but have quit losing....big shock I am sure. I am thinking that I am secretly afraid of succeeding. That maybe, if I am a normal weight for the first time in my life, I will not have the fat to blame on life's disappointments. Have I lost my mind or does anyone else know what I am talking about? — [Anonymous] (posted on December 4, 2000)
December 4, 2000
I know what you are talking about, but I'm not sure that I can offer any
advice. I know from past experience that once you reach a lower weight you
are living differently in the world because the world reacts differently to
you. For me thinner was once 200 pounds. When I go below that weight, I
will be in uncharted territory and sometimes that will be terrifying and
sometimes it will be merely disorienting. Try to get back on to your
routine. Perhaps going back to clear liquids for 4 days, and full liquids
for four days to clear your system physically and emotionally. I suspect
you are just trying to find your equilibrium. You may want to work for a
time with a counselor to help adjust to your new physical presence.
— Nanette T.
December 4, 2000
I do! I am at a point I haven't been for MANY years and I am
afraid! I do what Nan suggests when I get whacked out food
wise- I go on clear liquids for 4 days, full liquids for 4 days,
then pureed for 4 days. It helps me get the sugar out of my system
and start seeing clearly again. I seem to get refocused after it
(I have only done it once, but it really helped!) I think
what you (and I) are going through is normal- getting through
it will bring about the changes in ourselves in such a way
that we won't have to be afraid ever again- we will have worked through
it- so hang in there girl- you can do it!!
— M B.
December 4, 2000
I'm still pre-op, but I hear you!!! This is my biggest fear ... dealing
with the emotional want for food and the self-sabotage. This may not be
for you ... but it helps me to talk issues out with my psychologist. It
helps me see the deeper issues and to get back on track. Be good to
yourself!!! You are an inspiration to me!!!
— cynthiaellis
December 4, 2000
The last (pre-surgery) time I got anywhere within a country mile of my goal
weight -- it was in mid-1990, when I lost 100 pounds and was wearing size
12 for the first time in about ten years -- I made darn sure I got pregnant
right away. I just couldn't deal at all. Well, the husband's been fixed,
so having a baby is entirely out of the question, unless I'd like to spend
a lot of time explaining how this came about. "Success" in
weight loss is a scary concept -- scarier, in my opinion, than failure.
I'm about 7-1/2 months post-op and down 115 pounds, and people treat me
very differently than they did when I was heavy. It's like they suddenly
noticed I was there, or something. And, because two bites more than I need
of stuff makes me sicker than a dog, running to food for comfort is
entirely out of the question. When we lose the weight, we have literally
lost the walls we have built to keep the rest of the world at a comfortable
distance. DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP. Post on this website. Call a
friend. Use your doctor's support group, if s/he has one. If you need to,
see a therapist. Write in a journal. What has a name no longer has the
power to hurt you, unless you give it some. You are a success, whether or
not you ever lose that last 25 pounds. Hang in there, and enjoy the ride.
Warm skinny thoughts always,
— Cheryl Denomy
December 5, 2000
I know what your talking about. Having "the fat to blame on life's
disappointments" is so much easier than taking a good long look in the
mirror and sorting out the issues as they apply. Perhaps the way I was
bullied in school did this to me, but when I would be in public and heard
people laughing, I thought for sure they were laughing at me...I thought my
boss hated me because I was fat...I thought the ex was mean to me because I
was fat...and worse of all, deep down inside, I believed I deserved it. It
took me years prior to WLS to reshape my thinking: those people are
laughing at their own conversation! My boss was unhappy with my
performance; could I improve it? The ex is a very unhappy alcoholic
control freak. As it were, when I came to these conclusions, even at 278
lbs., people always treated me well: the public, my co-workers - and those
that didn't, I divorced. So yes, fat was my crutch, and when I'm down, I
battle it still. But, you can change how you think, you can change your
emotions. But be prepared to learn a lot about yourself - you may find
that being overweight had little to do with life's disappointments, other
than it was easier to blame, rather than taking on emotional responsibility
and the desire to change the outcome. Good luck to you.
— Allie B.
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