Question:
How do you deal with extreme disappointments after WLS?
I quit drinking about 25 yrs ago; quit smoking about 15 years ago; and now I'm hoping to have WLS in this next month. I experienced a big disappointment today, and am wondering how I will deal with my emotions after food is not an option. — Janell C. (posted on October 2, 2009)
October 2, 2009
Sprry I have no answers as I am facing the same question. Never drank or
smoked but use food as my way out. Looking forward to any responses to our
delima.
— drcrews
October 2, 2009
i am 8 weeks out and three weeks ago i was hit with something that i
honestly didn't think i could handle but...i feel so good losing the 50lbs
lbs my whole out look on just how great i feel seems to give me everyday
courage.i just feel so good with the 50lbs being gone i had something to
look forward too..more wieght coming off and feeling even better.i had to
realize when something goes bad it is not the end of the world.
i was never an emotional eater but now i love to walk.so i think alot when
i am walking and maybe that can help you when you get a disappointment in
life and remember that food made you feel disappointed afterwards too.prob
didn't answer ur question very well but when you start to lose alot of
wieght your whole outlook is different on other things.best of luck to you.
— carolyn1970
October 2, 2009
SInce I no longer can eat my anger, I have found that now I verbalize my
anger or disappointment. LOUDLY... I just went to an anger management
seminar. I am looking forward to using the other methods of dealing with
it. Good Luck
— [Deactivated Member]
October 2, 2009
If you havent' dealt with your food addiction issues yet and found why it
is that you use food in times of stress or as a comfort you should hold off
on your surgery. This will most likely end up with you losing weight and
then regaining it. You have to deal with your addictions before your
surgery. Have you gotten your psych clearance yet?
— rkurquhart
October 2, 2009
Well, I love to bake/cook, and when I get the urge to eat if I am stressed
or depressed, instead of eating like I used to, I now start baking or
cooking something. This may not be healthy for the rest of my family? I am
very moodly lately also, and I have noticed that I also yell a lot. I
haven't looked into anger classes ..YET..lol....also I get on the internet
a lot more than I used to just to type and keep my hands busy....good
luck...
— Lyndsay30
October 2, 2009
My son died one month after I had my RNY. I was so lost...didn't know what
to do. I couldn't eat. So I felt things, deeply. I cried, and I raged.
I cleaned things. I'm doing better now. I am learning to share the
feelings I used to swallow. I am not super crazy about cleaning, but I
have a new routine that keeps my home pretty orderly, and is comforting to
me. It is a process, and you need to know when to ask for help.
— pageturnr
October 3, 2009
there are skills u can learn to deal with this as well as other aspects of
life after the loss of something important(food,health,jobs,even the loss
of a child or loved one)a therapist could offer a lot of help with this .be
sure to choose one that deals with eating issues.the next step after any
loss is all about letting go.You can do it and don't be afraid to ask for
help.My Dr has physocolists on his staff and a part of the pre evaluations
touch heavyly on this.The skills i learned when my daughter was killed 18
yrs ago have helped me post op
— Bette Drecktrah
October 3, 2009
Obesity IS an addiction and it will not disappear even if u have surgery
and lose the weight.addictions will go undercover sometimes but it is an
everyday thing to deal with them on an ongoing basis or they will stict
their ugly eads back up sooner or later.we need the skills to fight them
long term.
— Bette Drecktrah
October 3, 2009
If you wait until you are completely healed from your relationship with
food, you will never have the surgery. I strongly feel that the MIND set
takes time just like the losing process and the healing of our pouch. It's
a LEARNING experience, and the further out we become, the more we can trust
ourselves with food. Focus on your achievements. I had 6 months of pre-op
counseling, and am codntinuing post-op. As I encounter different
"obstacles" I take it to my psychologist and we figure it out
together! Good Luck!
— happypeach
October 3, 2009
Thanks for sharring thats the first step we all eat for some reason I
really wanted to live and get that person off my back I am active in church
and I talk about my feelings remember they r yours so if someone isnt
listening to what you r really saying find someone else that will. I would
just come out and say how i felt, I am a recoverying addict and the first
thing I learned was to talk especially when I had the urge to use. I never
did that before and I ate alot of ice because it crunched and seemed to
help when needed a little crunch instead of potatoe chips or other stress
food you can make sugar free fllavors I wish you the best i am 1 yr 3
months 185 pounds gloss.RNY; had plenty of stress found my best friend
passed away and she did every thing with me,sat by my side during all my
surgerys we where together daily like a mom to me and then I was so loss I
still break down crying but i feel that she would want me to be strong in
the same month I was taking care of an elderly man and he had a heart
attack the last day i took care of him did cpr for 10 min and he died with
his wife right their it was awful then my hamster died i lost it then it
wasnt that it was the hamster it was another death just talk and keep doing
what you are suppose to do take care of you and live best of luck Tammi
— Tammi Sandoval
October 3, 2009
I, too, had concerns about turning to another addiction when my food
addiction was stifled, so I asked my pastor about it. He recommended the
book ADDICTIONS: A BANQUET IN THE GRAVE/ FINDING HOPE IN THE POWER OF THE
GOSPEL, by Edward T. Welch. It is so powerful, and positive, that I can't
get through more than a few pages at a sitting. I promise that it is life
changing.
— jtoothman
October 3, 2009
I read the answers to this and was surprised not to see anyone mention
"Exercise".... I know, I know.... I HATED to exercise, not just
because I was lazy (which I was), but because of the pain. I have severe
spinal stenosis and facet arthritis, which makes walking and moving the
lower half of my body extremely painful. But, I finally had an epidural
injection that mostly took care of the pain, and now I can exercise. I
find that whenever I'm tense, anxious, scared, or disappointed, exercise
truly helps. And I know, because I've been working in an atmosphere where
morale was on the floor, and people were being laid off right and left, and
finally, I took a buyout to get out of that awful space. I got a good
severance package, but today was my last check, and I've applied for
unemployment, but the jobs sections in the Sunday papers have not been more
than 8 pages long for months, and most of the ads are for vocational
schools and colleges, NOT for jobs. So, I'm pretty anxious. I need to get
back to work, and I'm scared that I won't find any before unemployment runs
out. Exercise calms me and keeps my mind off of things....INCLUDING
eating. I hope you find some words of wisdom on this forum, because doing
this surgery is like having a second chance at life. I've gone from 307
pounds to 190 in less than a year, and I've only got 20 pounds to go to
reach my surgeon's goal. I'd like to weigh a little less, though, so MY
goal is another 40 pounds. It's so WORTH it. You'll find all the support
you can handle here, and hopefully, your surgeon has support groups too.
Mine does, and I go whenever I can. Just being with other people who've
had the same issues as you is one of the best support systems you can have.
And also, you can join an over-eater's anonymous program, and you'll have
that kind of support as well. As I understand it, you'd have a sponsor you
could call whenever you felt like you just couldn't make it without eating
something you shouldn't.
— Erica Alikchihoo
October 3, 2009
You've received good advice so far. I'll add two more suggestions.
1) Begin attending a weight loss surgery support group. Talking with
people who are going through the same challenges as you, sharing successes,
and gaining sound advice and information, will help you successfully loose
the weight. These groups can be invaluable in providing emotional support.
Just knowing someone else understands, and finding out how they handle
similar problems is very helpful. Also, it helps knowing there are people
who care about you in a way that your other friends cannot understand
because they have not dealt with obesity or the struggles associated with
weight loss.
2) I have been seeing a Christian psychologist for over 12 years. Even
though I could have stopped seeing her, when my initial reason for seeing
her was resolved, I have found her to be very helpful with keeping me
"on track". She has gone through the struggles and successes
related to my weight loss surgery for the last 5 years. Sometimes, things
in life come up that throw us off balance. It is nice to have someone you
can trust, and who is qualified to give good advice during those times.
Even if you choose to go this route for only a short time, it might help
you develop strategies of how to handle the bumps in the road of life. I
have been to secular and Christian counselors. I have found the Christian
based counseling to be the most effective.
I hope that helps. Please continue to reach out to others. ObesityHelp is
a good place to do just that.
God Bless.
— KimM
October 3, 2009
I have about the same history as you, quit drinking 9 years ago, quit
smoking 2 1/2 years ago. I had gastric sleeve done 4 weeks ago, I have lost
50#'s since the start of this journey, and the way I feel today, is I just
take everything one day at a time! I do not depend on food as a crutch
like I used to and there is not a better feeling out there than knowing
that I can loose this weight. Plus I have gotten into the habbit of walking
everyday, I actually look forward to it!!
Good luck, it does get better.
— tmhlls300
October 3, 2009
You naturally will find something to do different post op, it is a good
idea to start soon to sever your ties with food. You have to look at food
as an enemy and tell yourself that you aren't going to let this food run my
life. You need food to live, not live for food. So, just keep asking
yourself, why do I like you so much. It really involves at of deep soul
searching. You will cry, which is good, but you will feel better. You
really need to cut the tie and just go for a walk during a trying time. I
have relaxion chimes, birds chirping, ocean waves on my clock or I turn on
a cd. Don't let the food demon get you. It really makes him happy when we
fail so prove him wrong and deal with an issue in a way that isn't
surrounded by food. best wishes
— Kristy
October 5, 2009
Youwill need to find a way to deal with your emotions instead of hiding
them. My family is having a hard time adjusting to me crying and getting
angry. I no longer hide how I feel. It is a releif to be able to express
myslef even though it makes others a little uncomfortable. They are getting
use to it.
— trible
October 5, 2009
I know what your going thru,I was there, once I changed my mind to forget
rny, I began looking at ds. and knowing I can eat normal and still lose
weight, just cannot have alot of carbs, I knew I could do this !!! Please
do look at all the surgeries,check out the revision board,I know I,m at
peace with myself,I,m not worrying about the choice I,ve made!!!
— rebecca W.
October 6, 2009
WLS is not brain surgery if you have mental issues that cause you to eat
drink or smoke the WLS will not fix that. You shoul talk to a theripist and
fix the mental parts before you have WLS. If you over eat after WLS you
could really hurt your self.
Cardio kick boxing would also help with WL & help deal with emotion.
Good luck
— [Deactivated Member]
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