Question:
Am i really lazy or could it be something more?

Mom has told me that i was a lazy child to begin with. I hated playing outside, i would rather curl up with a book in my room alone. i hated ballet and softball (i thought they were boring!) and she never let be do hockey or gymnatiscs or football or anything I actually had an interest in. I mostly avoided my family, expecially my cousins who were my age. I was a normal sized kid to begin with and didn't start gaining weight until i hit puberty. I'll admit there was a lot of chaos in my life growing up, but mom keeps telling that i make it out more than it was. I guess she thought I was happy in my own little world of make-believe and fantasy from my books. I know i can be lazy. I hate restricting my food and no matter how bad i want to lose weight, i usually cheat within twenty-four hours of starting a new diet. I hate the treadmill, it hurts my knees and ankles. I hate walking and biking, we have too many hills around here. I don't mind the local gym, but it's too expensive and i'm on a budget. There are things i want to try. Kayaking, and canoeing, but I'm too lazy(?) to look for a boat that can hold my 315 lb body. I would also like to try rock climbing and horse back riding, but I don't want to fall or break a horses back. I'm also a binger, but i have gotten better about how much i eat. used to be 2 or 3 mcd's value meals now down to one and an extra fry. I have no control when it comes to pizza either. I can eat a large from little ceasers, no problem. I actually ate a medium from domino's yesterday and i was still hungry when i finished! Sorry for the babbling, but I'm getting tired of being called lazy by my parents. (I had to move back home 'cause of some financial problems)    — HeidiMc (posted on February 24, 2004)

February 24, 2004
I don't think you are lazy - you and I share a lot of common interests. There is nothing wrong with wanting to read... it's one of the joys in my life! Finding a sport that you enjoy may just take some time. I found that I love walking and swimming. Walking is easy and can be done anywhere. I went as far as getting a dog so that I would have a companion when I walk and have more incentive.. but a dog is certainly not required.. I also love canoeing. I had my surgery last October and I'm looking forward to getting into a canoe this summer. I skimmed your profile - it looks like you've fallen on some tough times this past year. I really hope things turn around for you! I'm glad that you are working again. Please hang in there and keep pursuing the surgery. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made... !
   — Laurie L.

February 24, 2004
The more weight I lose the less lazyy I become. If walking hurts, walk for less time. You do need to exxercise whether you get this surgery or not. The surgery will force you to deal with a lot of things in your life. Losing weight gives you more ambition (and I had a lot of ambition pre-op!). Losing weight made me feel unsatisfied with myself in other ways. I feel I settled in my job and in relationships. I really have gotten my stuff together but it has been hard and painful. The surgery is not a cure all, you are sort of forced to make changes.
   — mrsmyranow

February 24, 2004
I am answering your question with all due respect. It sounds like you could use therapy to get to the bottom of your issues since it sounds like a lot of your eating is emotionally driven. I am not a therapist, but it seems to me after reading your profile that you have been almost getting in your own way - you quit your job out of anger, for example. It sounds like you really NEEDED that job to keep you from losing your apartment and truck and declaring bankruptcy, which is what ended up happening. You are very young to have these major financial problems. Another example is that you've cancelled two(?) appointments for consultation for WLS. Why? I hope you feel entitled to be successful in your life and be independent from your parents. About sports, I would chose activities that don't have those weight barriers. When I was 316 pounds, I couldn't find a life jacket big enough so you might want to stay away from those types of activities for now. You say you had interest in gymnastics - how about trying aerobics or yoga? You can borrow tapes from the library, generally for free. Good for you for having job interviews lined up! I wish the best of luck to you.
   — Yolanda J.

February 24, 2004
You will need to come to terms with the source of your overeating. You can, and about 10% of WLS patients do, "out eat" their surgery. Surgery is a tool that is to be used in conjunction with other lifestyle modifications to lose weight. Most insurance companies won't even approve surgery these days without specific written diet history of attempts and failures. They also require a current 6 month attempt with a doctor's supervision. Only you can determine how succesful you can be. The surgery can help, but it's not a cure-all for obesity. You have to do your part as well.
   — Shayna T.

February 24, 2004
You stated a couple of times that your Mom calls you lazy because you didn't do some of the things, as a child and now as an adult, that she felt/feels you should have been doing. OK, well, now you are an adult. Prove Mom wrong...prove yourself wrong!! Make yourself get up and get out and move! Do whatever your little heart desires! If you want to rock climb, don't just read about it, do it...Maybe find a trail or path in the woods and start there. Or you say you want to kayak, look into it (that would be great exercise for your arms!). You want to horse backride, do it!! Don't get on the little ponies, but look at getting a bigger horse...(that is great exercise for your waist/arms and legs!!) As Ann Landers says, "you can only be controlled, if you let yourself be controlled!! Good luck! Danette
   — Danette C.

February 24, 2004
Counseling to combat the binge eating is a great idea. But also have you seen a doctor and had bloodwork done to check you thyroid? Hypothyroidism can make you very tired and depressed.
   — cat5dog1

February 24, 2004
Do YOU want to change? I think that if you want to, you will. To me it sounds like you folks are doing are pretty great job at controlling you. <br> Considering some counselling, and and get out there and <i>try</i> some of these activities. I was obese my whole life too - and a total book worm. Once I got a little weight off, I started to try new things, and got some therapy, the transformation began... but only because I wanted to. <br><br>But there are always going to be those people who want to hold you back. And people who feel sorry for themselves constantly and resent you because you want to get on with your life.... why??? Because THEY are miserable, and want to bring you down too. Misery loves company, right? Sounds like thats what your family wants to do to you, sister.<br>Life rocks. Go live it.
   — kultgirl

February 25, 2004
<<I hate restricting my food and no matter how bad i want to lose weight, i usually cheat within twenty-four hours of starting a new diet.>> </p> Heather - </p> This isn't an easy way to lose weight. You haven't said anything about wanting to lose weight, so if you have a burning desire to do it, it doesn't show in this post. In order to be successful, longterm, you have to be committed to a new lifestyle, to health, to protein supplements and vitamin/mineral supplements. </p> You need to look at your binging with a psych. type to find out if you'll be binging *after* surgery, when it could be deadly. </p> This requires much more than 24 hours committment *just* to get approved. Try out Atkins . . . get thru the 3 days detox to get past the carb cravings, and get some idea if you can manage to "control" yourself with pizza or anything else. </p>Good luck . . .
   — RWH G.

February 25, 2004
Heidi you sure are smart to be so young, even though you are in a self-destruct mood, you know it and that is a lot for a 21 year old to do and share it with us all. You had a lot of stress and what appears to be "lazy" is probably depression. Also, did you know anti-depressive drugs (some) causes weight gain? The long-term effects of them are worth the gain, but there are some out there that do not attribute to weight gain. You also said you stop taking them, if you do that suddently without medical supervision you can have weight gain and chemical imbalances in cortisol and other hormones. Find a way to de-stress yourself, which you are doing already by moving back home and hopefully not have the debt you had. The hell with the car after 2 years (even though they say 10) you can start rebuilding your credit and get another car. GOOD LUCK LITTLE LADY - YOU ARE STRONG AND WHEN YOU FEEL WEAK PULL ON YOUR INNER SPRIRITUAL STRENGTH.
   — Anna M.

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