Question:
I am unable to "tolerate" or "suck it up" like I used to?
I am in fast paced job in retail. I have to deal with demanding customers, staff, product orders, and supervision. I guess I am having an "AHA!" moment. I no longer have the capacity to turn to food during or after work to calm my nerves or internalize issues that I have no control of. I find myself at the end of my rope. I completely lost it today. I walked away from a tense situation with supervision. I could feel the tears coming and they did. I decided to go back to work but it made it worse. I ended up crouched in a ball hiding, and completely emotionally overwhelmed. Never in my 49 years and 30 years on the job have I lost it this way. Yes, companies are changing, demanding more all the time but I lost it...for the first time ever! I didn't eat....I cried and my husband had to come and pick me up! What is next? I wonder? — buceriasjean (posted on June 7, 2011)
June 7, 2011
So sorry that you had such a bad day. I work in a highly stressed job also
and sometimes I have those days also. I think it is important that you are
able to acknowledge what you are feeling. Finding coping mechanisms to use
in these situations is important. I journal or I talk with somebody that
would understand the situation. Make a plan to what you can do if this type
of situation happens again. I am 48 and often feel emotional. I use to
stuff everything down and now I wear them on my sleeve.
— neutf
June 7, 2011
I do not know when you had your surgery, but this operation is LIFE
changing and with that you need to adjust. I was lucky I went to work the
first year after my surgery. I am a middle school media
specialist!!!!!!!!!!! My principal, God bless her was so understanding,
but I had my days with the kids, teachers and food. It does get better
believe me.
I do find that I must exercise daily for my piece of mind. For me it is a
stress releaser, plus it is wonderful exercise. And we need exercise.
Good luck my sister!
— FSUMom
June 7, 2011
I know the feeling, believe me. I've cried more in the past 7 months than
in the 26 years of my marriage. It's really hard learning to deal with raw
emotions that we kept buried all these years Let's face it, we're still a
work in progress. Is there a therapist that you can go to for learning
coping skills?
— Kathleen W.
June 7, 2011
I completely understand what you are going through. I am only 4 months
post-op & have a stressful IT job. I have been so emotional since the
surgery & there are days where I just don't think I can do it any more.
I have wanted to quit my job more times in the past 4 months than I can
count...and I don't quit! I feel like I just can't concentrate & do my
job some days. I get so overwhelmed that I just cry. It's very
frustrating to feel like this but I can't turn to food like I used to. I
always feel better after a walk or bike ride (just started doing that a
couple weeks ago) but I can't do that while I'm working. We just need to
find another way to cope with the stress. Just like everything else, we
are learning as we go. Good luck & keep smiling (it makes people
wonder what you are up to)! ;)
— Tickie
June 7, 2011
I'm not a trained therapist but I think what you are experiencing is
withdrawal from your drug of choice - food. I went through the same thing.
I'd lose my temper and this is not like me. A friend was brave enough to
say something to me and I went to therapy. It's been 4 years since my WLS
and I'm doing 110% better. It's good that you are recognizing the problem
and reaching out for help. Maybe you could see the therapist who did your
psychoogical evaluation and knows about the subject of WLS. Keep in touch
— Muggs
June 8, 2011
I don't know what kind of surgery you had. But having a eating disorder,
and then having the surgery and losing that crutch can be mentally
challenging with or without a taxing job. I highly recommend your seeing a
therapist. You may need an anti-depressant med, or mild anti-anxiety
medication in addition, but definately don't depend on medication without
the therapy. You have alot inside that needs to come out. YOu are about to
embark on alot of wonderful things. Also, if you are a person of faith,
this is a good time to turn your worries over to your higher power. Bless
you as you continue on your weight-loss journey. Lesleigh Post 3+ yrs RNY
220/120
— lesleigh07
June 8, 2011
I completely understand what you are feeling. I am more sensitive then
before. Food was my confort, my go to place. Now I have to deal with my
feels. I am not as tough as everyone thinks I am anymore. I just lost out
on a job promation to the person below me. The feelings that came up and
having to deal with them was on of the toughest things I've had to deal
with in a long time. I couldn't turn to the food to comfort me. Thank god I
have a very understanding boyfriend that was there to help my through it.
Hang in there.
— dsquire
June 8, 2011
YOU ARE NOT ALONE... Reading all the other comments I think you know you
are not alone. Before WLS food was our
consoler/friend/medication/therapist... after WLS we find ourselves out
there by ourselves and having to face life and our feelings. I
unfortunetly am starting to turn towards food again and I am making myself
sick... I think breaking down as you did was a healthier way to handle the
stress of life. I think a therapist is a fabulous help. Hang in there...
you are not alone.
— Dana M.
June 9, 2011
I am so sorry you are emotionally challenged right now. I think we all go
through that after weight loss surgery. I am almost 8 years out and I still
get emotional. But now i see a psychiatrist and he has me on an anti
depressant and it changed my life. I am able to cope in stressful
situations now. Especially since I went through 3 major operations in the
last 3 years. I wouldn't have made it through with out the help of meds.
Some of us just have a chemical imbalance and we need help! Its not worth
suffering like that! Good Luck to you Hun!
— Kimberly Ten Kate
June 9, 2011
First, as the others have said to this point, you are not alone. I agree
that we have all used food as our drug of choice, it is our addiction and
with the surgery we are or have taken that drug out of our lives. The
addiction is a symptom of our issues, our emotional problems and food is
how we coped with them. The questions I ask myself when I get that way is
what is motivating (the emotion) me to turn to food, or, what WAS
motivating me to turn to food in this situation in the past (and now but I
don't have the "drug" to turn to). Once I can identify that
motivation, I ask myself what I was getting from food to deliver me from
that emotion... comfort, a sense of life, peace, etc. The awareness from
this is huge in recovery. If you are a Christian, give the motivation to
God and ask Him to take on the burden and give you what you were looking
for in the food. If you are not a Christian, then understanding and
processing to this point will help you work through the situation; talk to
someone about it. It is not easy to go through this process but I've found
it works wonders.
— dlappin413
June 9, 2011
I also go to a counselor, it has helped me to cope a lot too. However, I
have a huge fear of gaining, so the counselor helps. I do know what you
are dealing with and BELIEVE, life does get better and it is beautiful.
— FSUMom
June 11, 2011
I think it may be worth a talk with your doctor. The reason I say that is
I am having similar issues after changing my birth control method to a
DepoProvera shot. I had a talk with my GYN and she told me when a woman is
overweight, that extra weight works like estrogen in the body. When you
lose weight, your levels change due to the weight loss. You may want to
talk to your doctor about a hormone level check. Mine is kind of a
double-edged sword because of the DepoProvera shot, but I wanted to share
with you the effects of losing estrogen because that may be one of the
reasons you are seeing the issue.
I feel for you. I know this is not easy to experience. In the meantime, I
would like to recommend a therapist to help you find healthy ways to
express your emotions. I have been where you are before and I am kind of
there again based on my hormone changes. It is miserable to feel a loss of
control over your emotions. Consider that your body has been through some
MAJOR changes, and it is completely normal to experience emotional changes
too. Find a therapist who has WLS patients or who understands what changes
we experience. I have one who has helped me keep my emotions under control
and it is something I am very thankful for.
I hope this helps.
— ToriRaye
June 24, 2011
I think you should speak with a therapist. I am in therapy now and my
therapist said that after the surgery you will experience such a drastic
change in your life. Not only in how you view yourself but also in how
others view you. He also said that we have to retrain ourselves because we
can no longer run for the bag of chips or the twinkie bar. More
importantly the "fat" person and the "fat"way of
thinking and accepting things are gone. The problem however is that as we
are changing we never learned how to speak up or express ourselves. As fat
people we felt it was internalized our emotions. We turned on ourselves.
Now we have to learn how to handle things that are not our fault that we
previously accepted. I know things will get better for you. Always keep
God in your heart and head.
— Christij908
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