Question:
Has anyone had problems with your husband regarding WLS?
Telling you, that you are taking the easy way out? — cenglet (posted on November 20, 2008)
November 20, 2008
hi- you didn't say but is your husband obese as well? a lot of times i
have noticed the "partner" will bash the idea of WLS because they
fear being left behind- totally self serving. the so called easy way out
is an" easy lifetime commitment" nothing easy about it if you
are dedicated to following the pouch rules for life so you don't have
weight gain the farther post op you become. let him read this site, the
stories, see the pictures, if he still feels this way, he's gonna have to
get over it on his own. do not "NOT" have this done because of
someone elses insecurities. Good luck. Cindi 3.24.04 -230# and
maintaining the loss at almost 5 yrs post-op
— DollyDoodles
November 20, 2008
Hi Cassie! I always thought that my husband was in favor of my having wls,
but four months after my surgery he finally admitted that he was against it
from the beginning for many reasons. The good news is that now that he has
seen how well I'm doing, he has changed his mind. Regardless of what your
husband or anyone else thinks, you need to do this for YOU! You have the
rest of your life to look forward to, and imagine what a wonderfully
HEALTHY life that will be. Stick to your guns and don't let anyone
discourage you. Hopefully he will come around like mine did. Good luck
and God Bless.
— dnoreenh
November 20, 2008
My husband was not very supportive either (At first and right up to surgery
day, but I dragged him to my nutrition classes and even when he tried to
put me down, I found ways to get him excited by sharing what I learned
about nutrition and saying things like, maybe after this class, I won't
need surgery, knowing I was actually learning how to eat AFTER
surgery...and he learned about the procedure too...I'm sneaky, I know! I
don't care! My husband will admit it's a part of what charmed him about me!
LOL )...He had not ever had a weight problem. He retired army and they
exercise every day, first thing in the morning...so he never really HAD to
watch his weight...He retired...and he carries a tire too now...right
around his mid section! And I DO NOT bother him about it...and Let him know
that I love his big belly, but being the sneaky woman that I am, i have put
him on a diet that he has no idea about and he's lost 20 lbs!!! hehe He's
oh so proud of himself! He loves my tofu chili...and has NO idea it's not
beef! My weight gain began a year after we got married (24 years ago) and
I got prego...I never could lose my weight and over the years just managed
to keep gaining and yo-yo dieting with EVERYONE telling me how to lose
weight...And losing was never the big problem...keeping it off was! I think
I can speak for most of us on that subject! So people who have never had
weight trouble cannot possibly understand...and there in lies the
problem...MISUNDERSTANDING and lack of knowledge and WLS education. I love
my husband, but he can be a totally donkey butt and his comments like
"easy way out" didn't bother me at all...because guess what? Even
IF WLS WERE the easy way out...WHO THE BLEEP really cares? You know what
got my hubby to shut the heck up? Education for one...I made him listen to
everything I learned about surgery...I'd force him and bring it up in the
car where he couldn't walk away! LOL And as for the easy way
out...Everytime he tried to beat a read light, take a short cut..i said
"Oh... easy way out" Everytime he said let's go thru the drive
thru "EASY WAY OUT"...When he sat waiting or looking for a close
parking place "EASY WAY OUT" I drove him NUTS! Every time he
cut a corner I reminded him that it was the easy way out and that is not
always a bad thing unless someone is CONSTANTLY nagging you about it! He
stopped...LOL But as for you, I don't know if you know it or not, but WLS
is NOT the easy way out...It's a tool to help you "diet as a
lifestyle"...You still gotta control what you put in your mouth and
how much you move your body. And yes, the first year is easy...The rest of
your life after that is truly in your hands literally! Hope that helps a
little...If not...try to ignore ignorance, that really is all it is! You
don't have to prove him wrong...Just teach him! He'll either get or he
won't but don't let him stop you from helping yourself get healthy! We
don't have to fight thru pain...meds make it "easy"....We can buy
ready made meals for ease...remote controls for ease, microwaves for fast
easy food...There are short cuts and easy ways for nearly EVERYTHING...So
forget about the comment!
— .Anita R.
November 20, 2008
Personally, no. But I hear a lot of these type of stories in my support
group and during my education classes prior to surgery. I can tell you what
I did. I INVOLVED him. I made him (in a nice way) to go to education
classes with me. I was open about why I wanted surgery. I asked him to talk
to my parents with me and show his support, etc. All in all - I kept him
educated and that helped through the process through now. I am almost 2
years out and he is still very supportive and great. Good luck. I wish you
the BEST.
— jammerz
November 20, 2008
hun ...i hate to read this ,wls is not a easy way out ..not in a long run
.i have had so much go wrong with me in the last 29 mos i can't type it all
..lol.. but that don't mean you well ..you well do fine hun ..god bless
,brenda in tx ...
— brenda F.
November 20, 2008
My husband has always backed me up, since he is on the other end of the
spectrum..he is 6'8 and cannot gain weight, so he pretty much in the same
boat as me, just opposite ends. He only weighs 165 tops(i may be giving him
a couple extra pounds) the sucky part of it all is that we all eat healthy,
so it does not help out his situation...I have had other people(friends
from high school all the way up to old employees that have told me i took
the easy way out, without even knowing what I did to try and help myself
with diet and exercise) I just hope that yours does realize that it is not
the easy way out, if not more helping and hard work that has to be done to
use this tool..hugs to you
— dawnie28
November 20, 2008
They become afraid of the new person you'll become.
So what if he thinks it's the easy way out? IT WORKS!!
The easy way out is not putiting your life on the line to have major
abdominal surgery! Don't let him intimidate you into becoming the person
you want to look like. Tell him that in a year.....your going to be his
"arm candy"!!! Every guys wants a hot woman!! (wink, wink.)
— dadebrito
November 21, 2008
I have never understood that "taking the easy way out". WHY
would you take the HARD way out? Duh... oh yes it is much better to suffer
and fail, suffer and fail, over and over... who ARE these people that
really think this way? Are they just jealous or ignorant? If it were my
hubby and he said that I would just look at him like he was stupid and say
'Well DUH...what kind of moron CHOOSES the hard and unsuccessful way out of
a bad situation?' I wish you the BEST for YOU! :0D
— MAG
November 21, 2008
I have been very blessed that my husband has been very supportive of me
since I had my lapband in 4/08. He constantly gives me compliments( he did
before the wls), he is watching me change emotionally and physically, and I
might add the sex is better than ever, because I have more energy. He
supported me from day one. I have been fighting with weight since we met in
college, but within the last 3 years I just kept going up. S when I decided
to have the procedure he was all for it. Good luck!!!!
— savoy7658
November 23, 2008
I can relate to that...my DH says he's interested and that he will support
my decision to have WLS, but that's about all he's doing. I try to educate
him - he's not interested. I tried to get him to view an interactive
computer program about the DS, which I am seriously considering - it's too
long (30-40 min. tops). If I didn't need him to drive me home I think I
would be about as well off if I just went through it without him around.
How many people have this surgery and end up divorced?
— sem51
Click Here to Return