Question:
why is it when it get close to the date we start having different feeling

please my date is so close and i am staying so sick about it what are you to do i start thinking i will not wake up i will die i will leave my husband and i get so worried i cant stand it trying to stay busy but it is not working at all i just hope all the worry that i am having now is worth it all i know i cant loss the weight by dieting so this is the last thing to do but still there is that fear that i am having i am sure so one else is having the same feeling please post if you can and let me read what you have to say thank so very much RNY bypass that is what i am having    — [Anonymous] (posted on January 3, 2002)

January 3, 2002
You have this feeling because you are only human. We've all felt the same way... scared! If you know there is no other way to lose the weight, then you are probally doing the right thing. If you have faith in God, then try to draw comfort from that. This is frightening. Any surgery is frightening! Don't feel guilty. You are only human as all of us are. Good luck to you.
   — Danmark

January 3, 2002
I was very scared, too. One visualization helped me so much: I told the nurses when they first took me down to surgery that I was scared and needed lots of medication & fast. When they were "putting me to sleep" --I did not want "fear" to be what was on/in my mind, so I visualized myself all warm & cozy in my favorite comforter, being handed up gently into GOD's loving welcoming arms. And I remained there --being held and being safe until I woke up in bed in my room. I do not even remember the recovery room and my surgery took 4 hours! Our minds are very powerful. So is the power of prayer. Good Luck to you. Barb B.
   — Barbara B.

January 3, 2002
Nearly ALL of us felt the same way. Its normal, but truly most of us have NO CHOICE but surgery, to get a healthier life. Read my profile, I was shocked to wake up after surgery. Now dont fear surgery, embrace it! This will be the BEST decision you have EVER made, It sure was for me:) Do promise yourself NOW to minimize your surgery risks. Exercise as much as you can BEFORE surgery, even if its just walking a extra block each day, post op get up and get moving THE DAY OF SURGERY! Most die of blood clots, and this is preventable by walking a lot begining when you get to your room from recovery. Drink your water and do your best for protein and vitamins. ALL this can help you get thru surgery safer and easier. I have lost 109 pounds since July 23, my new birthday. You can do it too, its worth all the hassles!
   — bob-haller

January 3, 2002
I am scheduled for surgery on the 16th and I, too, have been thinking about not waking up BUT I know that God didn't bring me this far to fail me. The best thing to do is to think positive thoughts and to get excited. Negative thoughts enter into our heads so easily and we reject the postive so quickly. I believe it is natural to fear what we don't know, but oh the possibilities of life WHEN you wake up. One last thing, you will wake up and you will be healthier and a better you. Have faith...As my mom used to tell me. . . worrying isn't going to change a thing! :) I really hope that something I said is going to touch your heart.
   — Tara C.

January 3, 2002
I can appreciate your feelings. I am scheduled for surgery on January 7th - Monday! I have been very axious and worried until a couple of days ago. Now I am excited and want to get on with this. I am having this surgery to save my life and have begun to focus more on thinking about my new life after the surgery instead of worrying so much about the surgery. Now, that doesn't mean that I will go to bed Sunday night and just drift off. I will probably not sleep a wink! I have had several bad dreams about surgery and several good dreams. My therapist said that is normal. So please know that you are certainly not alone in your feelings and that your feelings may change tomorrow. You are doing something that will save your life and statistics are on our side. The vast majority of people who have this surgery come through it with no problems and are very successful. Here's to being in the majority! We are in this together and I am rooting for both of us!!!!
   — Cathy C.

January 3, 2002
Hi. How are you? Don't be so nervous. Here's something I just read in my Bible last night that maybe you could write out and repeat it over and over -- for comfort. "God may not promise a comfortable journey, but He does guarantee a safe landing." See, it's got our word in there -- Journey. And it also says He "guarantees" a safe landing. So there's going to be some discomfort, but He is going to bring you through this surgery with a safe landing. Cling to that promise. Trust Him. And...GO FOR IT! May the peace that surpasses all understanding be with you and all the rest of the pre-ops who may be experiencing the jitters. It's normal. We wouldn't be normal if we walked into the surgery room smiling w/o a care in the world. We've got a life and loved ones that we don't want to leave behind. You're gonna be fine. Remember, Trust in Him.
   — blank first name B.

January 3, 2002
One more thing.....you want to really feel down, depressed, anxious, want to kick your own butt? Cancel your surgery, delay it. Change your mind. Wallow in misery being so disappointed in yourself cause you didn't have the courage to go through with the surgery. Then you'll really want to eat MORE and it will become a terrible cycle. You'll be thinking, "If only I had gone through with it, I would be 20-40 lbs. lighter by now. Now that would be a miserable feeling. Starting back at square one, especially after you have come so far in your "journey". Just ask them to "hook you up" (with the drugs) asap and you won't care if it snows oats. Next thing you know, they'll be saying, "Wake up sleepy head. It's all over. You did fine." The point I'm trying to make is: THINK POSITIVE! Anyone who is feeding you negative stuff, eliminate them from your circle for the time being. Buh-bye now. Remember, POSITIVE!
   — blank first name B.

January 4, 2002
Hi! My lap RNY surgery is Jan 10, and I'm getting scared and weepy now too - much to my surprise! I cleaned up my office at work today and brought my fan and CD player home for my trip to the hospital. I almost cried walking out of the building, wondering if I'd ever be going back again! Will I leave my children motherless? Now, I KNOW that's silly. I KNOW that I'm a great candidate for the surgery, but I still find myself getting weepy and nervous. I think it's normal - but it's still there. I think that it's the reality of the surgery that brings on the fear. While it's far away, it's easy to only feel excited. Once it's upon us, the reality of the change we're about to experience is here and we can't ignore it any more! I'm trying to focus on how I'll feel 2 months from now! And OMG that will be wonderful!!!! See you on the losing side!
   — Kathy J.

January 4, 2002
I am so glad that I'm not the only one! I was all for this surgery for the past year, nothing, nothing could change my mind! Then I saw the memorial page on this site and started really having doubts and getting scared. It's great to think about what your life will be like after the surgery and how great you'll feel and look, but getting to that point is the hard part. I am making my will and my health care proxy, and am trying to get the courage to write letters to my kids and husband just in case, but I can't bring myself to do that yet. If I do, it will be a major cry-fest and I will really have some serious doubts. But, I've come this far and really don't want to back out. But boy am I getting scared! It takes looking at this site and all the success stories and support from everyone post-op that really keeps me forging ahead when I have my doubts.
   — Kelly M.

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