Question:
Severely depressed, looking for some human contact....
Hi, I had RNY recently and have been doing pretty well, losing weight, feeling better, life seemed blessed... My boss called me in to his office Friday and told me confidentially that the big-wigs at our company are trying to devise a way to eliminate my position (and the positions of all people at the company who do the same job-type as I do). They are thinking of "outsourcing" my job. They can pay an outside company less money to do my job than they pay me, and wouldn't have to pay benefits like they do with me... I work in a small, specialized area of healthcare, and the job I have now would be extremely hard to find again. I would be forced to take some entry-level job most likely, working night shift for less money. May be I could find a supervisory job, but they're very stressful. I am very lucky to have the job I have, and have not heard of anyone else in my field having the same wonderful set-up this job has provided me. I am scared, depressed, sad, and so down-hearted now. I just don't know what I am going to do if i lose my job. How can I go back to an entry level night shift job for a lot less money? I worked my way up since 1996 to get to the top of my field, just to have it all yanked out from under me? I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like I would rather be dead than go back to working some night shift entry level position. To be honest, I am posting this hear because I could use a little compassion and kindness right now from another human being.... Thanks to anyone who responds.... — anonymous2008 (posted on August 16, 2008)
August 16, 2008
Hi,
Sorry to hear about the possible loss of your job. I do feel for you. I
understand that the loss of you job is a huge stress!!! Perhaps you could
start to look into other job possibilities now, just to see what is out
there and available to you. Try to stay upbeat, as nothing has happend for
certain yet. Could you possibly get another position with in the same
company? Hope everything works out for you!!!
Caroline
— carolinern
August 16, 2008
You're having a rough time right now and your emotions are running in
overdrive. Having just had surgery and getting this news about your job
must have you reeling. Here's something that you need to do....realize
that your life is NOT over..it's just beginning. Changes like this do come
along for a reason. Take a deep breath, and go through these steps rather
than worrying yourself sick.. 1. Ask yourself, what's the worst thing that
can happen if your job ends? Answer? "I'd be sad, I'd be angry, I'd
be worried about finding another job. I'd maybe get a great severance
package, I'd be able to get into a dislocated workers program via the work
force center (unemployment office) I'd be able to take some time to rethink
my career, my life. 2nd question. "How would I handle that then?
Answer? "I'd be feeling less stressed, I'd be working towards a new
career goal, or new career altogether, or worst case scenario, I'd have to
work nights to make ends meet." You definitely don't want to dead,
and you definitely need a conclusion to your worry. Don't set yourself up
to fail in how you handle this. Be proactive rather than reactive. I
speak from experience here. I'm a worry wart and I'm the type that jumps to
every conclusion in the book before working the scene out in every way.
Please relax, don't fret, and realize that you have a lot more going for
yourself than you're letting yourself see just now. Take a mental health
day.. get some good positive feedback from the people here...and do what
you need to do to get off this self-fulfilling prophecy of doom and gloom.
Your weight, health, and life depends on it. Take care of yourself...and I
promise...I am not some crazy ass guru spouting cliche's. I just come from
a place much like yours and have had to do exactly what it is I'm
preaching. It really has helped me! Best wishes dear....... Hugs...Cheryl
— Cheryl K.
August 16, 2008
I thought about these questions very hard; I feel so badly that this had to
occur just when you were getting started on a new life of health. Please do
not be scared and depressed yet; this could possibly be one of those weird
opportunities that no one ever expects - or it could be just a strong
challenge to become something or someone new! Do not take a night shift job
- that would be a killer for someone who is starting over. It is bad for
you both physically and mentally. Have you looked into the Federal
Government health system for opportunities? Are you able to move ti a new
location? Do you have a way of getting health insurance other than through
your job? You may be underestimating your worth and might be able to find
another job much more readily than you expect. If they let you go, be sure
to collect unemployment and COBRA so that you can take your time. What
about Indian health care? Is it possible you could be a medical
transcriptionist from home or a quality assurance reviewer from home? When
I lost my last job I ended up doing something so entirely different and fun
that it is still unbelievable (I was a lifetime nurse!) Hang in there, use
all of us, put yourself out there, tell people what you do to see if anyone
knows of an opportunity. I am not a religious person but I do believe very
strongly that people love each other and you will get alot of caring!
— nofrogs29
August 16, 2008
Have you ever read the very short and wonderful book called "Who Stole
my Cheese"....It takes about 20 minues to read and will totally change
your attitude. Life constantly throws us different obstacles...How we deal
with them is what makes a huge difference in life. Trust me and read this
book...You don't even have to buy it...Go to a book store and sit and read
it...It's that short but packed with thought.
I know you are scared....but sitting in a corner waiting for answers is not
going to get you anywhere...Get yor resume ready and start sending it
anywhere and everywhere...Focus on you too...Don't feel sorry for yourself
or look to food for comfort...here's a big hug and a warm wish for you to
find your cheese! Go read the book...
— .Anita R.
August 16, 2008
OOPSIES..."Who MOVED my Cheese" is the book to read...Then read
"Who Stole my Cheese!" for a good laugh
— .Anita R.
August 16, 2008
hey, if you need to talk, you can write me at [email protected] if you
want. the place i worked for didnt outsource my job.........another
hospital bought us and made us all reapply for our jobs......to break the
union, they got rid of 70 of us.......i was one of the highest in seniority
and had the most qualifications for thejob but i was the one they got rid
of........go figure....so i kinda know where you're coming from with this.
jan
— jan0859
August 16, 2008
One thing is WLS does cause all of us to take bad news poorly, as I have
been there. I take Lexapro to fight depression caused by rapid weightloss.
I feel for you, but since I am a CEO of a compnay and owned my own company
with 350 employees in the 90's, let me make a suggestion. Go to your boss
or the head of HR. The Head of HR is the person that will keep your
conversations confidential. Tell them you would like to apply to be the
party that would coordinate the activites of the Sub-contractor, as youknow
the requirements of the job and the people they will be providing and would
be in a good position to evaluate the work quility and effort of the
contractors to make sure the company had the best of the sub contractors
employees. Now a lot of the work may be done at the sub-contracts place of
employment, so you need to be prepaired to offer to travel, and to review
the work as it is completed at your currnet office or the sub contractors
or even at home. The real issue is to make sure that you build a case why
you are best for that position, and at the same time, you might offer to
take a cut in pay for the first year to assist the company in evaluating
your value to the process. When I outsourced our tech support at night to
a contractor in another country, I could not find one of my employees that
was willing to work as a coordinator, so I went out and had to hire a new
party from another firm that had done the same thing. I got a great
employee that did a great job, but she had to be out of work for 6 months
before she saw the value in what we were looking for and what the
limitations were on us hiring for that position. After that several of our
old employees offered to do the same thing, but we had filled the position.
Don't think that your boss may get the position just because he is the
boss. Does he know the details of the work the way that you do? Let HR
assist you in getting to the right parties and remember thay have to keep
your conversations and application confidential if you ask them to and only
discuss it with the parties you are aware of. HR have that obligations to
the employee over the managers. I know and I have always respected those
issues.
— William (Bill) wmil
August 16, 2008
WOW, I am so sorry for all of your added stress. I have read all of the
above answers and agree with them all! There is ALOT of great info in
those responses, try to read them with an open mind and they will
definitely help you! I too am an RN who has a little different situation
but a short story will give you hope.
I got married in 05, and my husband and I decided to try for a baby, and me
being over 40 with diabetes and overweight, knew it would be hard to
conceive. SO we decided it would be best for all of us If I did not return
to work after the wedding so we could concentrate on all of the
infertitlity stuff plus I already had a son who has ADHD, OCD, ODD, and
Bipolar disorder so he would benefit from me being home for him especially
after school. So I left my job of 15 years as an ICU nurse.
With the grace of God, I had a beautiful daughter in 06, and have stayed
home since. SHe is perfectly healthy and a miracle! My son has also
thrived with me being home.
In Jan 08, before I decided on WLS, I thought about going back to work at
least part time, becasue we love to travel and go to Disney etc... and I
thought I could work so we could play. I was up for that. ( since then I
decided on WLS and my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, so I ended
up postponing returning to work, but....)
THE PONT TO THE STORY IS......I PUT MY RESUME ONLINE AT ABOUT 1AM. Now I
am a staff nurse, with 15 yrs ICU experience and all the whistles and bells
associated with that, including transport and inserting central lines, but
no advacned degrees or managerial experience. I went to bed and woke
up at 8am to the phone ringing off the hook to offers from tons of
different places wanting me to work for them. Some in the area I was
thinking of, home health, some in different areas like management of a dept
for a well know drug company. I still get emails and calls even though I
have withdrawn my resume for awhile.
SO THE MORAL OF THIS VERY LONG STORY IS.........KEEP THE FAITH! BELIEVE IN
YOURSELF! EVEN IF THIS JOB DOESNT WORK OUT AND YOU NEED TO FIND A NEW ONE,
MAYBE YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING ELSE YOU WILL LOVE MORE! EVERYTHING DOES
HAPPEN FOR A REASON, AND MAYBE THIS IS GOD TELLING YOU THAT YOU MADE A
COURAGEOUS DECISION TO HAVE WLS, AND NOW HE IS GOING TO REWARD YOU WITH A
NEW PATH TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EVEN BETTER.
DO NOT go back to the night shift, I am sure you still remember how awful
you feel working nights, now add in WLS and all we have to do to keep
ourselves healthy and you will realize that is NOT the answer.
You are a great person and always remember that you deserve the best! Go
for the BEST!
(((((HUGS)))))
You can PM me or use my email if you need to talk some more.
Stay in touch!
Eileen
— eyenjeff
August 16, 2008
Dear no name,
I can't really offer any other suggestions any better than the authors
prior to me so I'll tell you what I tell myself or my family or friends
when they are down and out. I say to myself "I'm not dying of AIDS,
my kids don't have cancer, we aren't starving to death as some are. So,
things seem tough right now, I am going to face this head on with a strong,
positive attitude and know in my heart that things always happen for a
reason."
Try to keep your head up and get the "dead" talk out of your
vocabulary.
If you would like to talk, my e-mail address is [email protected].
Good luck,
Dawn
— DawnVic
August 16, 2008
First off. Sorry of for the bad news. Secondly, I know it's a total clique
- but things do happen for a reason. When one door close's - another door
opens. If you have the time and $ - I might suggest doing something you
have always wanted to - go back to school, trade school or pursue that
"job" or "field" you always thought about doing, but
didn't feel you had the time or whatever to do it before. Look at this as
an opportunity and try to embrace the challenge by making it an
opportunity. If that is not an option - maybe see if there is a way to keep
on as a consultant and help plan the restructuring of the outsourcing by
allowing you to stay on and consult to set up the new way of things.
Good luck!
— jammerz
August 16, 2008
I just want to say thank you to everyone who repsonded; I read each and
every response and email, and it truly helps to know that there are people
who are so inherently kind and good that they will take time from their day
to try and help a perfect stranger...... I do feel a little bit better and
see that although it may not be what I want, it is not the end of the
world; like one person said, "you don't have HIV, your kids don't have
Cancer, you're not starving to death" as so many people are suffering
these things in the world..... thanks everyone for helping me put things in
to perspective.... May God Bless you all for your kindness towards another,
and may I pay it forward....
— anonymous2008
August 16, 2008
Hi. It sounds like your frustration is manifesting itself in depression. I
would throw something out there to think about if you want. Sometimes we
spend (and I include myself completely) a lot of time thinking about
possible bad situations. Yet we really are not sure what is really going to
happen. It is difficult to get past this stage, but it really is a
reactive, rather than a proactive, place to be. I don't know what kind of
deadline you may be facing, but I think you could contend with both
possibilities (getting laid off or not getting laid off). In focusing on
the possibility of getting laid off, you could make as many proactive moves
that you can. I don't know enough about the type of job you have or the
kind of company you work for, but I would advise checking into what rights
you may have in a lay off or reduction in force. Usually employees have
some rights and you mentioned benefits so I think you must have some.
Sometimes you have to remind employers of these rights, but you should find
out what they are and if you have any legal recourse. At the same time, I'd
recommend that you survey what is really going on at work and do your best
to solidify your position and make yourself as valuable as possible to your
work. Stressing and getting depressed over something that seems like it is
out of control is tempting, but ultimately fruitless. Try to focus on
things that are within your control. You have done something very positive
recently: WLS. Congratulations on that aspect of your life. And please,
contact someone for help if you feel like you want to harm or kill yourself
(or anyone else). You are a valuable human being and I'd like to see you
stay around to reap the benefits of WLS and all that goes with it. For me,
it has been a whole new ride and I'm not even finished!
dana
— jujuprof
August 16, 2008
call me 310-367-8404.
— bariatricdivalatina
August 16, 2008
— cancelsbronx
August 16, 2008
This may sound slightly cold, but I've been where you are. While I was on
medical leave to have my surgery, at the holidays, my position at work was
obliterated. They couldn't fire me while I was on leave, but I couldn't
afford to be unemployed when I returned, either. It was very scary. And
though I had lost weight, I still felt like the same cow that I felt like
before. But I had to take action, and the clock was ticking!
It's ok to have a pity party...for a minute. Mourn the people you will
miss working with, the job you enjoy, the great income and schedule. Now
your minute is up. Dust yourself off and start preparing the resume. If you
need help with this, let me know....I've had plenty of practice =)
Now that you've had the surgery and probably lost some weight, take pride
in yourself and what you have ALREADY done to make yourself a better
person. Go through your closet and find your most professional clothes. Are
they too big or too small? If too big, WOW! Savor that. If too small, don't
sweat it, it'll fit soon enough, but you need to get something for NOW. You
need 1-2 nice, professional outfits that you can wear to interviews. But
I'm getting ahead of myself. You need to be ready, but you need to know
where you're going first. Hop on the internet and start looking for jobs.
Do you fit MOST of the qualifications, but not ALL? Submit your resume
ANYWAY! Keep in mind that when employers post an ad, they are posting a
wish list. Even if you don't fit all of the qualifications, you never know
when they may be in a rush to hire and you may be the closest qualified
applicant! I'm not necessarily saying to apply for a CEO position if you
have never managed people, but I think you get my point. You haven't been
fired, YET, so don't waste this opportunity. The job market is tough these
days, and you can get ahead by looking for work while you are still
employed! Again, my intent was not to be harsh, but you've got a lot to
offer this worls - you just need to see it for yourself!
You can email me at [email protected] for help with the resume, or
additional advice.
— zandeldm
August 16, 2008
I wish you well as you move through this. Life constantly throws us curve
balls and the thing of course is not the balls themselves, it's how we
carry them.
What I'm not following is why, after you've worked your way up for more
than a decade, your first career option is to take a night shift staff
level job? A decade of experience and now specialized in your area means
you have a wealth of skills and experience to bring to bear on the work
world.
My advice would be to not focus so much on the "job" but rather
on what skills you brought to it, what were the accountabilites and
responsibilites, etc. How can you transfer all that to private consulting
in the same area, or even to another career area altogether. Can you work
from home and by internet? In a world where retirees are quickly
out-numbering new people coming into workforces, there is a desperate need
for workers in so many sectors. Do not despair, my friend - the present is
very transient LOL.
I'm a masters-prepared RN. During a period of serious system-wide cutbacks
during the 90s I lost my job as patient care manager of a prestigious
critical care and trauma unit. I was desvastated, shamed, sad, etc. And
you know what? It was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. Within 6
months that firing vaulted me from my clinical career into a national
position in health policy with the federal government. 10 years later now,
I have never looked back. But I could not foresee all this in the blurry
days of the termination and weeks of hand-wringing that followed. One thing
I can tell you is that I never once considered that going back to a shift I
hated or working conditions I hated would be an option. Work your
networks. If you are in such a specialized position, others must need it
too. Take big advantage of that, market it to others, push push push!
My other advice is absolutely LET THEM FIRE YOU. Don't quit. They will
have to compensate you and of course they will want you to leave. So they
might start working on ways to make thing unpleasant or vaguely threatening
(like they already did). Do your job better than ever and carry on with
your head up. If they push you out, go with enough cash to kick back and
think for a few weeks/months. If you want to be the private consultant out
there that sells the service back to them cheaper than you are paid now,
then don't be too nasty with them. Consider talking with them about this.
If you think they are just tired of you personally for some reason, have
that hard conversation with yourself and then of course they won't be
wanting to buy your services as a consultant. So then you can play
"harder ball" in getting compensated as they teminate you without
cause.
Losing a job you love seems like the end of things. All I can say is that
IT IS NOT, but you need support to see past the pain of the present. Happy
to chat any time and by the way congrats on the weight loss!! /Mike
— mountainmike
August 16, 2008
First of all, bad timing on your boss's part to give you the news so you
can stew all weekend. I have been there. Take a deep breath. Do
something fun today. Tomorrow, ask him some questions to ease your
anxiety. Ask if there are other jobs available in your company or if he is
privy to any companies that are hiring. I was forced to find another job
when the one I had was "outsourced." I was scared, unsure and
125 pounds heavier. I will tell you the job I have now is the best I have
ever had and I wouldn't be here if I wasn't forced out of my other job.
You will find another job, maybe in another direction, but have faith, you
will survive. You mental attitude will make the going easier, so please
try to focus on the positive. You already made a great stride forward by
having your surgery, look at this job situation as another step toward a
completely different YOU! Please keep us informed and, GOOD LUCK and
Peace, Deb
— Debbi S.
August 17, 2008
I feel for you. This certainly is tough. There have been so many great
comments by other members. Personally, I find that when I talk with a
neutral party about my situation, I often find new solutions or
perspectives. How wonderful that you are reaching out to others for help
and not trying to handle things by yourself. I would suggest seeking out a
life coach or a counselor/therapist. You would have a chance to vent, and
more importantly, I think you would discover you have a lot more options
than you realize. I am positive you have a lot going for you, but you may
have a chance to use your experience in a new way. One word of caution:
don't let the fear of losing your job cause you to resign prematurely. Let
the chips fall where they may. Please know I am thinking of you, and I
wish you nothing but the very best. Take care...Wendi
— wenniewo
August 17, 2008
Keep your chin up!! I know its a tough road but you'll get through it.
Things pass and this will too! I pray that your job doesn't go away, but
if it does, it may be a blessing in disguise. And remember this,
"Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though
Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway". Email me if you want to chat.
Take care of yourself!! Mary G.
— Mary G.
August 17, 2008
No Name, I empathize with you. All of us humans like to know what the
immediate future holds, and joblessness makes that impossible. Something
good, perhaps even better than the job you had may be in store for you.
Once my husband and I were put into the job hunt mode at the same time. We
lived in Monterey, CA then, a very high cost of living area. We received a
phone call telling us that the tenants who had planned to buy our home were
being transferred. Did we want to rerent or put the house on the market. I
asked for a couple of days to think that over. Two days later, my former
school district in the area of our vacant home called to ask if I would
consider returning. The cost of living was low enough so that we could
afford for my husband to go to grad school full time while I worked.
Although I had felt desperately low on Wednesday, by Friday I was marveling
in the mysterious ways in which God works. Now my motto is: Pray and do the
footwork.
Best of luck to you! Joyceisready (pre-op)
— Joyceisready
August 17, 2008
Oh boy do I know how you feel. The company I worked for got rid of all
there security managers in all there low volume low risk stores. I had
worked for them since 2002. In May I found myself out of a job and
collecting unemployment. Then I found a new job, that pays less, but I am
SOOOOOOO much happier! I don't work weekends, I actually work 8 hours a
day not 12 to 14 hours a day, and I get to work from home twice a week.
What a blessing! I would have never looked if my first job had not been
eliminated! Hang in there, there is a silver lining!
— irish4girl
August 17, 2008
I am sorry to hear about this possibility. Please know that everything
happens for a reason. I know that for some reason god is orchestrating this
change in your life. You may only be seeing the negative side of a job
change, but you could have several very good possible out comes. I lost my
job less then 5 months after I had brain surgery. While I was heart broken
because I loved my job, but since loosing my job I took a real look into my
life and health and now my health is taking #1 and when that gets to be in
tip top shape I'm gong to go get my son and he is going to move back in.
— EmtEeyore
August 17, 2008
Congratulations on your weight loss. Focus on what a wonderful job your
doing there and how much work and effort that is taking. I totally feel
your pain. Last week i went thru a similar job situation that has brought
me down, i'm tearful all day long and although not wanting to die i have
this horrible sadness that i can't break thru and being at work is
horrific. Keep track of the positive. God doesn't close a door without
opening a window...or so they say : ) Stay strong, keep the faith and good
luck.
— allegra314
August 17, 2008
You don't realize how lucky you really are. First, you may be able to get
another position at the same company you now work for. Second, you could
go to work for the out-source company, they will need your experience at
your present job. Third, you need to start to plan for future events like
this. Never put all your eggs in one basket. Look for another opportunity
that will supplement your income and eventually replace any "job"
that you have; an opportunity that puts ypou in "total" control.
Thats the secret, being in total control and not depending on others. So,
Go to www.joinverve.com User name is "verve" and pass word is
"freedom". Then go to www.TrySomeVemma.com
— [Deactivated Member]
August 17, 2008
You are depressed and should ask your primary doctor to prescribe an
anti-depressant. Do this first thing Monday.
As a Psych Nurse, I recommend a walk EVERY morning for 10 to 30 minutes to
help you physically, give you more stamina, more energy, improve sleep, and
reduce anxiety. All of these have been proven to reduce depression.
Worry about the things you CAN change (such as your physical and mental
health).
Start searching for a new better job. You are more likely to find a better
job BEFORE you get laid off, so don't wait.
Good Luck,
Nancy Carle, RN
— nancycarle
August 17, 2008
hello, just a note of encouragement. trust in the lord and know that all
things in life are predestained. when one door closes another one will
open. but you have to be willing to walk thru that next door. please do
not be afraid. fear of the unknown will keep you a prisoner. please believe
in yourself, you are a strong person who could not have acchieved all the
success that you have unless you are smart and driven person. please know
that there is always someone on these boards that will lend an ear. god
bless...................steve
— stevenzak
August 17, 2008
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Your life is
changing so fast that you won't realize the extent until your mind catches
up to your weight loss! You will look in the mirror one day and boom you
realize that you have achieved something that has been chasing you forever.
There is a REASON that you had this life CHANGING surgery! Unfortunately
it's not usually revealed to us in our time frame. I will be praying for
you.
— jenks621
August 18, 2008
<<I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like I would rather be dead
than go back to working some night shift entry level position.>>
You have a lot going on and some valid reasons to be depressed. But, your
statement above raises a red flag for me. Please reach out and get help
immediately -- e.g., please contact a mental health professional or if you
don't have one, please call the suicide hotline -- there should be a number
for this in the front of your phonebook, or you can call 911.
— Jasmine130
August 19, 2008
WOW!!! What alot of great responses!!!! I will add one thing to all of
those wonderful suggestions...especially Bill's....When God closes one
door....he always opens a window. He did not bring you this far to drop
you!!! Look for the window. I wish you all the best.
— Senji
August 19, 2008
Hello: First, I will apologize for this epic email. I just had so many
things I wanted to say. I read your post yesterday, and really gave it a
lot of thought as to what I could say that might inspire or help you.
I've been through what you are now faced with, along with many, many other
challenges in my life. Notice I didn't say "failures"? Because
this is not a failure on your part. It is merely a CHANGE that you didn't
want to happen. I read a Buddhist saying once, and I'm sure I'll mangle it
badly, but it was basically saying that "There is nothing in the world
that has created more suffering for man, than wishing things were
different".
Probably the major challenge we all face is being able to realistically
handle problems, and recognize the nature of life without falling into deep
despair and depression. Nothing ever remains the same, everything ends
eventually, but we fight like mad for the good times to last forever, and
the bad times to end as quickly as possible. It's just not realistic.
Many of us are uncomfortable around loss; when things go wrong in our
lives, we are sometimes surprised to discover that we feel and act almost
embarrassed, as though we had something to be ashamed of. We have been
told too many times that "everybody loves a winner". And yet, of
course, we know realistically that even "winners" suffer great
loss.
Michael Jordan said ""I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my
career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the
game winning shot, and missed. I've failed over, and over, and over again
in my life. And that is why I succeed."
I have found that there is nothing that beats worry faster than taking
action! It helps relieve the stress to DO SOMETHING, rather than just
worry about it. Start refreshing your resume. It sounds like you have a
HUGE amount of talent and experience to offer another employer. Don't use
"all or nothing" thinking. Why would you have to start over at
an entry level position, or working the night shift for a lot less money?
Please don't presume the worst. Get together with a friend or two, and ask
them to tell you what your positive qualities are. I'm sure they'll have a
lot to share.
I know that some people have advised you not to quit your job, so that you
might get a large severance package, but that is your call. For myself, I
would feel in a much stronger position if I knew I had skills that other
companies were looking for. The only way you'll know that is if you apply
to other places and go for some interviews. Even if you just go for the
(interview) practice, eventually when the perfect job comes along you'll be
much more calm, and practiced in what you want to say. You never know, you
may end up with a job offer for an even BETTER job than the one you have
now!
Think of a list of questions that you may be asked in an interview, and
have a friend, or maybe a former boss, or someone you know who hires
people, do a trial interview. Saying the answers out loud, gives you the
opportunity to get the answers right, and edit anything that didn't come
out quite right. It will calm your nerves, so that you will feel ready for
an interview. Also, if they ask you questions that aren't on the list you
provided, that will only help you to start thinking on your feet, so to
speak.
As you said, the company is looking for a way to outsource not only you,
but the positions of all people who do the same job as you. What will they
be doing? Will they just sit back and wait for the axe to fall, and then
hope like heck that they have enough money to cover their expenses until
they get another job? If so, they will be looking for work in a powerless
position. It will be far more difficult for them to say no to a less
desirable job, than it would have been had they started looking now.
Personally if it was me, I would rather have options, and be job searching
from a position of strength, where I could say no if the job wasn't right
for me. When you're unemployed, you might have to accept a job out of
weakness and fear. Any employment councillor will tell you it's easier to
get a job, when you already have a job.
There are other jobs, and you might find this kind of liberating in a way.
We like change, and we don't like change. We like new and different
things, and yet we are attached to the familiar. Comfort food and
comforting habits are examples of the ways we cling to familiar routines
and ruts. Often we cling to habits that aren't even comforting or
satisfying simply because we are unable to let go or explore new ways to do
things. Think of all the people who hang on the their addictions, or stay
in abusive relationships because they are resistant to change. Individual
change and transformation can be difficult. It takes guts, and sometimes
requires outside help.
YOU ARE A VERY STRONG AND VALUABLE PERSON, and this is going to be just
another change in your life that you will deal with. Try to remain
positive. You still have a job, and have the ability to start searching
for a new one while still getting a paycheck. Many people do not have that
luxury. You have people who care about you, even on this web site! You
had your WLS, and "have been doing pretty well, losing weight, feeling
better". Good for you!! Keep it going!
You have already proven that you are ready to change. Your WLS is proof
that you were ready to transform yourself, and make the changes necessary
to improve your life. You have the strength to follow through on your
convictions, and you have already reached out to others for help in dealing
with your emotions. You will make it through this.
Please post and let us know how you are doing.
With love,
Nancy
— investigator77
September 1, 2008
Just saw this post. I am very sorry... Did they eliminate the position?
Please know I lost my job in the 90's and it really hurt..... I hope you
continue on your journey and believe God has a plan for all of us. God
Bless and Be well! Write anytime.
Hugs,
Michele
— Supermom2008
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