Question:
Please Help calm my fears about surgery.
I am scared to death of having this surgery. My surgery is scheduled for January 16th in approximately 2 weeks and after all I've been through, trying to find a reputable doctor I feel like just saying FORGET IT. But I've came too far for that. I am scared out of my witts. How can I calm down???? Someone told me that they don't think I'm ready because I am so scared. But I've been through so many diets and only to have minimal results for a short period of time, I can't afford to put myself through that again. Your kind words would be such an inspiration to me, please help me by telling me ways of how to cope with this fear. — Luscious1 X. (posted on January 2, 2003)
January 2, 2003
hi, I am also pre-op with my surgery in january. I can identify with what
you are feeling. I am so scared. my friends say well, if you are that
scared, maybe you ought not to have it, maybe God is trying to tell you
something." But, I am at my wits end trying to lose weight and at my
age (55), I kind of feel like it is now or never for me. Others have said
it is normal to feel like this as the date approaches. I just don't know
but I have come too far to turn back now. I know this didnt help but just
know that you are not alone. (((HUGS))))))) Delores
— Delores S.
January 2, 2003
It is normal to be scared before this surgery, this is a major step in your
life. I was very scared to take this step, but I was more scared not to
take this step because of possible health problems in the future. Good
Luck to you and a speedy recovery!
— Kelly P.
January 2, 2003
Well I can tell you I was more than scared, I cried almost daily for
several weeks before surgery. Asking myself if this was truly the right
answer for me. I'm 42 years old, weight was 315 at consult. I have always
been obese. I have a 13 year old and husband. I had prayed about surgery,
listened to meditation tapes, read positive feedback books, inspirational
passage in books you name it, I did it to try to calm my fears. I even
burst out in tears in front of the head nurse at the hospital and she ask
if I was ready for the surgery. Yes I was ready, but at same time still
scared. I cried my eyes out the morning of surgery before I left to go to
the hospital, my husband said lets go and if you decide to change your mind
once your on the table we can always leave. I can say honestly that the
fear did not go away until they put the IV in and the drugs. So to make a
long story short. You are perfectly normal to have fears. This is a MAJOR
step in your life. Just focus on the positve outcomes and you will be fine.
Take care and GOD BLESS
— Jeana S.
January 2, 2003
Scared?!? Why would you be scared? Just because a complete stranger is
going to gut you like a fish and stick his hands into your gaping belly,
using metal tools to slice and dice your bowels, while you lay naked on a
table surrounded by complete strangers? Why would that scare you? For
heaven's sake, dear...go have some hot tea. Remember that you are paying
the doctor, who has criminal decency to wear a mask, a dear sum for the
privilege of undergoing this experience. But, heck, just think of the
outcome...no more summer thigh chafe, no more playing find-the
fungus-in-my-body-folds with a loved one, no more need to think of areobic
exercise as getting up to change the channel instead of using the remote.
If a little laughter doesn't help along the way, consider asking the doc
for a little anti-anxiety medicine...it helped me to face the biggest and
best commitment to my life that I ever made. Take heart and allow yourself
to fret for 10 minutes each morning...make sure you go the whole ten
minutes! Good Luck!
— merri B.
January 2, 2003
I think it would be pretty strange if you weren't scared! This is a major,
major deal we're contemplating here. I don't have a surgery date yet, but
if and when I do, I know my fears will skyrocket at that time. I've been
thinking about something I read in Barbara Thompson's book (which is great,
by the way). The doctor who did her psych eval also performs hypnosis.
She actually had him in the OR with her prior to surgery. Apparently they
had some sessions before her surgery to help give her calming and healing
messages. She was very happy to have done this. It sounded like a good
idea. If you don't have time to arrange something like this, how about
trying some meditation and relaxation sessions on your own at home? Best
of luck to you. Remember, the vast majority having this surgery do just
fine.
— Carlita
January 2, 2003
IF YOU HAD LIFE THREATENING CANCER, WOULD YOU THINK TWICE ABOUT KEMO
THERAPY OR NON-CONVENTIONAL DRUGS. OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T. SO WHY DO YOU
THINK TWICE ABOUT WLS? BY HAVING THIS SURGERY YOU ARE ADDING YEARS TO YOUR
LIFE BY DECREASING YOUR CO-MORBIDITIES. I HOPE YOU REALIZE HOW WONDERUL
THIS OPPORTUNITY IS FOR YOU AND HOW THERE ARE SO MANY OUT THERE THAT ARE
WANTING THIS AND CAN'T GET IT. I WOULD NEVER CHANGE MY DECISION FOR
ANYTHING. I HAVE HAD WONDERFUL RESULTS(see profile if you like) WITH THIS
SURGERY. MY CHILDREN GET TO SPEND A LONGER HEALTHIER LIFE WITH THEIR
MOTHER. GOOD LUCK!
— DRutherford
January 2, 2003
Fear...fear is natural and normal. The best way to fight fear is with
facts. What are you afraid of? Name it and then find facts to fight your
fear. Are you afraid of failure? I sure was. I just KNEW that I would be
the only one on earth that would not lose one ounce after surgery. That was
170 lbs ago. Are you afraid of pain? I sure was. I asked for extra drugs,
and got them. I was very afraid when I was about to go to surgery, and told
the nurse that I needed 'something for anxiety'. I got a martini in my IV,
and was all better. On the flip side of fear is something wonderful:
Courage. When you face and defeat this fear, and you wake up after surgery
knowing that you have taken positive and decisive actions to have a normal
life, you will see your courage and feel something else strange : PRIDE.
Think about after the surgery, focus on your new life. Set some positive
and concrete goals. Do you want to climb a certain hill? Run a marathon? Go
to the beach? Ride in an airplane? Shop for clothes in a regular store?
Ride a horse? Don't let fear ruin this amazing experience. Get knowledge,
believe in your decision, focus on goals and rewards. Before you know it,
you will be a post-op and learning how wonderful life can be! Good Luck to
you!
— Cara F.
January 2, 2003
Your not alone. I think every one of us thinks as we lay on that operating
table, "Lord, please let me wake up". I was shaking like a leaf
the morning of surgery. As soon as you get there, ask them for something
to calm you down. It sure does help. Also have a loved one with you to
talk to you and keep your mind off of what is about to happen. And
finally, say to yourself, "This is the first day of the rest of my new
life". So, breathe deeply, in and out, and think about where you want
to be next year at this time. Think about losing all that weight,getting
your life back, feeling good about yourself, and make a list in your head
of all the wonderful things you will accomplish. then go over and over
that list while you wait for your surgery. Good luck, sweetie, you will do
fine.
— Cindy R.
January 2, 2003
Just do it!! If you have faith in your doctor, when you wake up, even if it
hurts.... you will be happier than you ever have been in your life. 12
weeks out from LAP-RNY, down 63 and can tolerate myself in the mirror for
the first time in years.
You will not regret it for one second. God bless you and good luck.
— Steve B.
January 2, 2003
I saw a weblecture about WLS and one of the questions was about the
mortality rate. The doctors explained that although there is about 4 in
1000 chance of dying those 4 usually go into surgery with complications.
Most of those have pulmonary complications with high risk. In the face of
their pre-op complications they went through with the surgery since the
alternative would have been a very short life without the surgery.
<p> Check out this website for that webcast
http://www.upmc.edu/obesitysurgery/monthlySupportGroup.htm
<p> Take Care, Be Well, and Be Happy!
— John T.
January 3, 2003
Hey ! I'm having surgery on the 17th! Whoo Hoo!!!! I am so excited, but at
night I just can't go to sleep. Any time I even think about not having
this surgery I go over all the reasons I fought so hard to get it. Then I
stop taking my pain meds for a few hours and the reality sinks in. I
wouldn't be preparing for this if I didn't need it my life will be better
in 2 weeks. I also pray that my fears will be calmed, that has helped
alot. Best wishes:)!
— Kimmie C.
January 5, 2003
I was VERY afraid myself. I'm 29 and had never been in the hospital. I
was so nervous the week or so prior to surgery, I kept forgetting to do
daily chores etc. To make matters worse, my surgeon lost a patient about 5
days before my scheduled date. But you, like me, have to decide if the
risk is worth it. Either continue to live this way (dying on the outside
and inside), or take that chance and live life the way it was meant to be
lived. I'm two months post op and this is the best thing I've ever done
for myself. Figure, everything happens for a reason and yes you have come
too far to go back now. Think of all the others who have not been as
fortunate to get approved. What I told myself was to "Close my eyes
and jump in". To be honest, I was more afraid of the pain than death!
I was fortunate in both areas. Best wishes!
— Melanie N.
January 5, 2003
Like you, I am scheduled to have surgery this month. I found out 4 days
ago, I am approved and scheduled to have surgery 1/21. At first, I thought
about postponing my date (due to work schedule). But I know that is just
fear. I keep trying to re-focus my fear on why I came to believe wls is my
last change. I don't know about you, but I've been labeled as over weight
since elemnetary school. Yes, twice in my life I lost "the
weight" (by starving myself) only to regain it plus a bunch. I have
never had major surgery before so I have no clue about how much pain is
involved. I do know, God willing, that whatever the pain, it will pass and
without this surgery, I have no hope of living a healthy and happy life.
It is in knowing this, that I am trying to take the next 2 weeks just one
step at a time, maintaining my focus and faith in the professionals God has
seen fit to put me in contact with to take this drastic step in changing my
life.
Good luck to you. I would recommend you review why you decided to take this
step in the first place to re-discover your resolve and courage. I need to
do this repeatedly, every time I begin to think about excuses to back out.
— Rebecca Y.
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