Question:
Reply to Pregnancy...HELP!!!
Ok so guys I was not looking for a God bashing...I understand his will and way. I am just a scared 23 yr. old who got preg. ON PROTECTION!!! I don't regret either of my children...I tried for my daughter for 2 1/2 years. I was grateful when I became pregnant. But you see I have waited 4 yrs to undergo this surgery...I have been waiting to get an insurance that covers it and to have both of the children I wanted. I did not get fixed for the fact that we think my sister is unable to carry children to term..she has had way to many miscarriages...so when she is ready and myself I wanted to carry a baby for her...as for my husband going snip-snip not an option he refuses...I am not bothered by that. But really. When I posted...I wanted to wise words of encouragement...I really don't need God's will shoved down my throat. I am sorry for those who can not have children...but you don't need to hateful to me because I can and have "accidentally" conceived again...AND YES I WAS USING PROTECTION!!!! Alright thank you to all for understanding and all of your wise words! I appreciate it!!! — bridgadean (posted on September 26, 2007)
September 26, 2007
I'm sorry people dumped on you when you needed support the most. I don't
believe in terminating but that is my personal believe. You have to do what
is best for you and your family and it seems that your health is what is
important. I haven't had the surgery but am looking into it. I have a
consultation on 11/14. This could both our chances of a life time. Do what
you think you need to do. I will keep you in my prayers, no matter what
your decision is. Take care.
— barbara50
September 26, 2007
I had seen your first post before anyone had replied, and thought that you
would probably get a hard time. I am soo sorry that it turned out that
way. I understand how upset the pregnancy has made you, it is just bad
timing. When I was 22 I was suddenly pregnant also with a whole mixture of
feelings, it was bad timing too. I don't know what kind of support you are
looking for, but I do understand how you feel. You have a decision to make
that will affect your whole life no matter which way yu decide. I am not
sure if aborting was on your list of options or if you was just wanting to
vent how this will put off the surgery for a little while longer. I wish
you wisdom
— swmb
September 26, 2007
Oh Bridgette, I had 3 accidents myself and I also don't regret it. What I
regret is that people will not let others alone! You can still give
support no matter what your beliefs are. God's will was that we have free
will and make our own decisions.
I believe that with all my heart and convictions. You are between a rock
and a hard spot and no matter what you choose it will be right for you and
your family. No one could or should make the choice for you.
I know what I would do but I respect your choices. I wish you all the luck
in the world no matter what is decided!
— CarolynK
September 26, 2007
It's a personal decision you are going to have to make for you and then
your family. Is your health in a state that you won't be around for your
childern? Are you so unhealthy that being pregnanet is going to be a burden
to you and your family? You are going to have to ask yourself some tough
questions, weight your pros and cons, check in with your self morals and
beliefs and make a decision that is best for you and your family. I wish
you courage and strength to get through your predictiment and that you find
peace of mind in your decision.
— jammerz
September 26, 2007
I am so offended that people believe that being pregnant is a
"predicament". I read your first post and the answers to that
question. No one was bashing you and they were trying to be positive and
helping ease your mind. I understand that you are disappointed by the
timing of all of this, but in the scheme of things, you have waited for
four years already. Is there a chance that your insurance will be no more
after you have this child? You are still young and will have lots of time
after this baby to have the surgery. I think that it is very admirable
that you are wanting to help your sister out the way you are, but you
certainly could have been "fixed" and still able to carry a baby
for her. Just because they tie you off does not mean that your body will
not work the same way it always has. You would still be able to carry a
baby with no problem. Needless to say, the point is that you will have
ample opportunity after giving birth to have the surgery. You are truly
blessed to be pregnant right now and you are doubly blessed to have
insurance that will pay for you surgery 100% when the time comes.
— fluphystuph
September 26, 2007
God will give you the strength to get through anything in your life,
whether it is expected or not.
— GAYLE CARMACK-LYONS
September 26, 2007
Ok...I see this conversation took place yesterday but I am the late comer!
Listen, you need to do what is right for you.....forget anybody else. As
for God, he will forgive you if you decide to abort. You and your hubby
need to talk about the pro's and con's AND you current health and make an
educated decision. DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU!!! You have my support,
regardless of what my personal beliefs are (that is why I didn't share
them). I think that is what this chat room/forum is about....correct me if
I am worng, been wrong MANY times. =) Best wishes in your decision making
process....keep you head up.
— cswilliams22
September 26, 2007
For those who don't believe she was being god bashed, I think she was. I
was the 1st to say something about it. I do not like when others bring
their version of god to the table when it's not asked for. She never
mentioned in her 1st post anything about god, so therefor it is not for
anyone to assume that she even believes in god much less wants your version
shoved on her.
We need to remember this is a WLS board that has no religious ties, some of
us who do not want comments like it's gods will, I just read and roll my
eyes, sometimes it makes me not listen to what you have to say which is sad
because I'm sure your just trying to be helpful.
— Steph Meat Hag
September 27, 2007
Hmmm.....I think one person's encouragement is another person's
"bashing". We are all adults so when you ask for "wise
words of encouragement" (remember, you asked in a public forum) you
will get what others think are just that. No one can know ahead of time
that you find it offensive to bring God into it. If you are considering an
abortion, I would give you the wise encouragement to do your homework, as
I'm assuming you did re: WLS. Look at an ultrasound of your baby at each
stage of development, read up on post-traumatic stress from abortions, and
think about your own eating patterns and how they relate to handling
stress, depression, etc. If you have those patterns will having an
abortion increase those dynamics? Wise encouragement comes in many forms
like beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so I think generally we all wish
you well, but I don't know that perfect strangers are the best ones to
invite into your world unless you have thick skin and can ignore what you
don't agree with and absorb what you want to hear. My wise encouragement
to you is still that waiting a few more months won't hurt, and I'll add
that having an abortion will rob you of more than just your child.
— Carlast
September 27, 2007
Im sorry that some people has dump on you. Sometimes you just need someone
to listen and give you comfort. Thats what this website is for. Dont let
people get you down. I think you should go to your doctor and have a
pregnancy test done. Then if you are pregnant, you and your husband just
need to think hard about what you want to do. It is you and your husbands
decision. Yaw have to live with it, no one else. Far as being fixed, I
would not do that at your age. You are too young. You might want more
children down the road. I wish you luck whatever you decide to do. Take
care.
— barfiep01
September 27, 2007
I'm sorry to hear you were bashed. Often Christians feel the need to talk
in a manner that Jesus never would have chosen. They will know we are
Chrisitians by our love and example. YOU must search your own heart and
soul. I suggest looking deep. Often the long term affect of abortion is
very devastating. Get some counceling. Speak to your bariactric surgeon
and see what your options are. He may have a solution you have not thought
of. Whatever you decide is you and your husbands business and no one
elses.
hope all goes well for you...
— agedwine
September 27, 2007
HI,
THIS IS DIFFICULT FOR ME I TRIED A LONG TIME TOO TO HAVE MY
BOYS THEN THEY TOLD ME AFTER THE SECOND I COULDN'T HAVE ANYMORE. I HAD THE
BYPASS TO SAVE MY LIFE BECAUSE I KNEW I WOULDN'T BE AROUND FOR THEM IF I
DIDN'T. ONE YEAR AFTER THE SURGERY AND 11 YEARS AFTER MY LAST CHILD I WAS
PREGNANT. SURPRISES ARE ALWAYS AROUND THE CORNER, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A
BAD ONE, THERE IS NEVER A PERFICT TIME. THIS SURGERY NEVER IS DONE OVER
NIGHT SO YOU COULD PLAN IT FOR ONE OR TWO MONTHS AFTER THE BABY. IF YOU ARE
THAT FERTAL YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HAVING A CHILD AFTER BYPASS ISN'T THE SAME,
SUGER AND VITAMIN AND NUTRICIAN ARE HARD TO MAINTAIN. I'VE BEEN THROUGH IT.
SO GOING THROUGH FERTILITY FOR YOUR SISTER AFTER THE PROCEDURE MAY BE
DANGEROUS FOR YOUR HEALTH. MAYBE THIS CHILD COULD BE HER OR YOUR LAST
CHANCE. GOOD LUCK, MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU, THINK OF YOUR HEALTH FIRST AND
SO SHOULD YOUR HUSBAND, SOUNDS ALOT LIKE MINE. MAKE THE CHOICE THAT'S BEST
FOR YOU. ANNA
— ANNAJEAN
September 27, 2007
Just a thought...regardless of any choice you make now be carefull postop.
Estrogen binds to fat and mass ammounts are released when you drop massive
ammounts of weight. If your hubby thinks you are "Fertile
Mertile" now just wait awhile. Any hormone based birthcontrol cannot
be trusted for at least the first year or more. I had a friend get pregnant
3 mos out while on the pill, using a condom and spermicide...seriously!
Best of luck in what ever happens.-Heather
— tazthewiz23
September 27, 2007
I THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! SOME OF YOUR RESPONSES MADE ME
BREAK DOWN AND CRY. I HAVE NEVER FELT SUCH CARE FROM STRANGERS. I AM GOING
TO GO WITH ALOT OF THE RESPONSES AND GO TO THE DR. NEXT WEEK. I HAVE TO GET
A HOLD OF MY SURGEON AND SEE WHAT I SHOULD DO. BUT TRULY I THANK EVERYONE
WHO TOOK THE TIME TO GIVE THERE WORDS OF WISDOM!
— bridgadean
September 29, 2007
As a Christian, I believe we should share our faith. However, I do not
believe we should force it on someone nor should we expect everyone else to
believe the same way we do. Having said that, please don't be upset when I
say I will pray for you and will pray that you make the best decision you
know how to. No one is in your shoes but you. No one knows the feelings you
are having or how torn you are about the decision you and your husband must
make. Just know you have someone praying for you and even though you have
no idea who I am and I don't know you, God does. Just trust Him.
— Novellee
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