Question:
Do People Not think before they TYPE??

Hi not to be rude, we are here to support each other and when a person comes on and ask for support we should be their for support do u think being negative is going to help? She probibably feels bad already. Maybe I am wrong? Maybe this is not the right forum for this? I have listened to people anwser without taking in others feelings. PLEASE WE ARE HERE FOR EACH OTHER we need to not be so sharp to one another. Do u think she may ask another question? We all fall and maybe you or I do not have eating issues but some do. Please be as kind as you would want others to be to you. Sorry if this is harsh I hardly say anything negative to people but I am going to be the voice. We are all different I thank God my surgery Gastric Bypass has been thus far successful, and I hope and pray 7 years from now I still will be incontrol but if not I hope I can come to my OH family for support and not feel scared or ashamed to post. People,realise we donot go into this new life change thinking we are going to sabatoge it years later, some people have eating issues and they need support. Please we all need each other to get through this life change SUPPORT EACH OTHER NOT PULL ONE DOWN FARTHER. Tammi Sandoval    — Tammi Sandoval (posted on January 19, 2009)

January 19, 2009
Very well said Tammi!!!! I have gotten very tired of reading judgmental posts. We live in a world that has judged us for our weight. I have a terrible time understanding how we can judge each other in the same manner. This needs to remain a safe place for people to come for help and support...NOT JUDGMENT!!!!!!!
   — leclibrarian

January 19, 2009
Tammi... In our house we always say "Don't judge me"...We all try to abide by that...I try to live my life that way...I agree with you 100%...I think that is why I usually will not start a thread here...generally I will post to what other people put but I dont want to put myself out there like that...I dont want to be attacked...I try to always be nice and give support when I can...I love that you put it out there for everyone to read...Kudos to you girl!
   — sweetmarie1

January 19, 2009
Tammi, Good job and well done! The bible tells us, "Judge not lest ye be judged" Hmmmmmmmmmm...don't worry; someone will judge them too one day. I will give, support, listen, cry and revel in the joy with those of you who wish to come here and remain part of this group. God Bless You ALL, vinnigirl, retired RN
   — vinnigirl

January 19, 2009
Thank you for saying what many of us are thinking, Tammi! I know I hesitate to post questions that may get negative feedback - mainly because rather than those responses making me "change my ways", they have the opposite effect. All my life when people have made negative comments to me, it has "pushed" me over the edge and resulted in more destructive behavior rather than spurring me on to turn things around. I'm sure I'm not the only one to react that way! People come here for help from others who may have gone through similar experiences and want advice on how to stop the destructive behaviors - not to have a fragile emotional health further torn down. Wendy
   — Wendy M.

January 19, 2009
AMEN TAMMI, Each and everyone of us are the same, but yet so different. If we all had the same courage and will power, then none of us would have had to have WLS. It is bad enough to be judged by those who have never been overweight, who could never understand what it is like for us to have failed so bad with diets, BUT...for one of us to ""JUDGE"" another on this forum, for not having the same willpower as they might have now....is wrong... REMEMBER... we all might be different.... but we all have been in the same.... BOAT... This site has been a GOD send for me, not to mention that it helped me save my sister's life.... she was 2 1/2 years post op, and started haveing serious problems....Doctors were having problems figuring out what was her problem, and it just so happened I was reading on here about another lady with the same problem, and it saved my sisters life.... So thank you Tammy, and lets all support each other on here. You will never know when it could save your life..... hugs and support....
   — daizi55

January 19, 2009
Here , here. I couldn't agree more, and have said so in the past. We ARE suppose to be a support for others, as we too may need it down the road. There is nothing wrong with putting on a little of what came off. It's when it gets out control...and we ask for help...that we need each other, and encouragement, not belittling and judgements. So, ...Amen to what you said, and also to the others who have posted in response. Hugs,
   — gpcmist

January 19, 2009
Nice Job Tammi. All i can say is AMEN!!
   — jnclshrum

January 19, 2009
BRAVO!! Nicely said and a good reminder to think and put yourself in the other persons shoes before anything is said. Thanks so much for posting it!!
   — jeannefitz

January 20, 2009
I AGREE 100%. WELL SAID, TAMMI. TOO MANY PEOPLE ON HERE THINK THEY ARE ABOVE PEOPLE THAT HAVE HAD SETBACKS. THEY SEEM TO FORGET WE ARE ALL IN THE SAME BOAT. OTHERWISE, WE WOULD NOT HAVE NEEDED THE SURGERY TO BEGIN WITH.
   — bikermama

January 20, 2009
I applaud you for posting this Tammi.I am pretty much a lurker on these boards because it seems as though you have members that reply back to threads very rude.I never will forget when I posted a question about "sagging skin".I have not had the RNY surgery yet but I just posted a question wanting to know is there anything that I could do to keep from getting so much sagging skin after having a huge weight loss any exercise tips or etc because I do not have the money for plastics.Well I got a few rude comments saying I would rather loose a lot of weight than worry about sagging skin! I was like WTF???!!! You do not have to answer so rudely.So I just stopped posting any questions and just read because of idiotic comments.I can take the truth and honesty but posters do not have to be mean or rude about it.
   — [Deactivated Member]

January 20, 2009
After reading other peoples post and the responces to them, I would not dare post a question on here. There are to many rude people on here. I would rather not know then to hear someone judge me so very rudly as I have seen it done to so many others. I sometimes wonder why some people post questions on here when I know there are going to get there head chopped off, I can see it coming before I even read the responce. Peole are so cruel.
   — Rebecca F.

January 20, 2009
I completely agree Tammi. I have actually considered taking myself off this list and answering questions completely, at least for a while because frankly, it is getting aggravating. I take time out of my schedule to try and help others as I have been a WLS patient for a few years, have been an RN for 22 years, and spent 2.5 additional years recently getting additional degrees in Bariatric Life Coaching and Life Coaching and really felt like I have something legitimate to add to this site. I'm absolutely not trying to toot my own horn here, I have just dedicated my life to helping others and that's what is in my heart and soul. I would also like to add that I don't have a problem with people disagreeing- hey, it's a part of life... part of what makes life wonderful- that we are all different. I just believe there is a way to disagree or give advice in a gentle, respectful manner. And, sometimes it's not what we actually say, but how we say it that can be so hurtful. In helping others on this site, I have actually gotten a few nasty grams from people time to time that have really gotten under my skin and hurt my feelings. I have had to shake that off and remember that I shouldn't let what people say ruin my day as life is too short. That's not to say that it still doesn't hurt. To hear that people who really need help are too afraid to post because of a few rude people is really a shame. This is exactly what this site is for, to help and be helped and people are actually too afraid to ask for it. Saddens me deeply. I am no better or worse than anyone here, I have lost large amounts of weight, I have gained large amounts of weight over the years and have had to get back on track more times than I can count. This is the hardest thing I have ever done and I can admit that I'm not the perfect role model, but, I do feel I have something to add and hope and pray this forum helps people and people learn how to communicate in a positive manner. Come on people, manners 101 please. Can't we all just get along? Love and best wishes to all, Dawn Vickers, RN, BLC, CLC
   — DawnVic

January 20, 2009
Thanks Tammi - you're right. I guess I would be considered a lurker...I am pre-op, no idea when - or if - I'm going to get to have surgery. I have asked a few questions and gotten extremely helpful responses from most posters, but I've also gotten some that were a little too "in your face" for my admittedly overly sensitive ego. And yet at one point I appointed myself to judge someone else who posted about her food issues. I'm sorry. The more I read of others' posts, the more I know that WLS is not a quick fix, and I know I will probably be going through the same hunger pains as almost everyone else. Self-control and self-denial have never been among my strengths. Dawn, please do not take yourself off of this list...your knowledge is important as is your desire to help others - more important than you will ever know. Your response to a question on here may save someone's life!! And, Latassa, I have the same concerns about sagging skin that you have, and I kind of felt stung at the response, "Would you rather carry around all that extra weight or have a little bit of sagging skin?" I already HAVE a good sized panni going on, plus ample bat wings, and when I told my gyn that I was planning on having WLS, she flapped my thighs back & forth (SERIOUSLY!!!) and remarked, "You'll get a lot of sagging skin...you already HAVE a lot of sagging skin." I almost died!! Now it sounds funny to me, but she's right. And after just surviving the surgery, sagging skin is my BIGGEST concern. One more thing I want to say to anyone who is afraid to ask a question on here because of the response they may receive from certain "holier than thou" types is something I heard from several instructors & professors when I decided at age 45 to get a college degree - "The only dumb question is the question not asked. If you have a question, chances are very good that someone else has the same question. SOMEBODY has to ask the question, or NOBODY gets an answer." I believe that most people on OH are ready, willing, and able to help in any way they can. Those that try to use the "tough love" approach can just kiss my (also ample) derriere!
   — sem51

January 20, 2009
I am pre-op having surgery Feb. 12th and I have had a few questions and have been reading others for a long while. All I have to say is? Well Said Tammi Well Said. I will continue to ask when the many more questions reveal them selves. Thank you to all that really do try to help.:0)
   — sse032568

January 21, 2009
Amen, Tammi! What you said was not negative. We should be able to be considerate of others when answering a call for help. We should build each other up, not tear each other down. Very well said, Tammi!
   — [Deactivated Member]

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