Question:
Would this be too Dishonest with buying clothes?
Ya know I got to thinkin' after I have this surgery I will be dropping alot of dress sizes. And I can't afford to be buying new clothes all the time... I figure on average, we'll lose a dress size a month maybe? Or more? So when buying new clothes would it be too dishonest to ReTuRn or ExChAnGe them a month later for a smaller size? And of course not always go to the same places. Exchanging doesn't seem as odd unless it's the same style of pants every time... Is this just too dishonest? I dunno..... — Sunny4x4chick (posted on June 2, 2002)
June 1, 2002
Yes, Sunny, it would be dishonest to return something that you have worn.
Look at it this way. Many returned items are placed back on the rack for
sale. Would you want to buy something that someone has worn for a month?
And why should a store subsidize your fashion change requirements? Weight
loss is no justification for stealing. It is unethical. I do want to
thank you for asking the question. It proves you have a conscience...now
listen to it.
— merri B.
June 1, 2002
Yes it would be very dishonest, I am glad you reconize it as so.
Consignment shops have always been a good friend to me, and when you have
outgrown those clothes, you can return them in and make some monies off of
them.
When you find something at a consignment shop that you like and may be a
bit small, do go ahead and buy them, you will be in them soon.
I find this a great deal, buy and than resell them,
— Jeri P.
June 1, 2002
Sunny, go to the thrift stores and consignment shops. I am always
surprised at what I find there. Lots of name brand clothing for really
cheap. And you can see how if it is a 'wash and wear' type of item because
they have already been through that process. So if it looks good in the
'used' shops, then you know that it will continue to look good. People are
always amazed with my finds and how little I have to spend. And then when
you grow out of them, bless someone else who needs them by giving the
clothes to them. There are battered women shelters that would really
appreciate some larger size clothing.
— Cheri M.
June 1, 2002
Hi Sunny,
I guess you could give it a try, but I think store policy is once you've
washed it they wont return it...and after a month it would be pretty
obvious that it was washed or needed to be. However, I also couldn't afford
to keep buying new outfits, so I didn't. I've been hitting the triftstores
(like Goodwill) and have been doing very well! I never even considered
shopping for cloths in those places before, mostly because I assumed I
wouldn't fit into anything there. Now (110 lbs less of me) I shop there
quite a bit...even for special events. I've been doing so since I could no
longer get away with a few safety pins on my size 28's ;) . There is such a
tremendous selection. I'm always wearing something "new" and
getting compliments...some I tell my secret to, others I don't. I think the
most expensive outfit I've bought was about 7 bucks...and that's for a two
piece and I've paid a buck or two for t-shirts and shorts...some still have
the store tags on them listing MUCH higher. I've gotten jackets and coats
there too for a pretty good price. Check them out...I think you will be
surprised. Also, don't forget the clothing exchange on here...I picked up a
jacket I am very pleased with. Good luck with your upcoming surgery! -Kim
open RNY 7/17/01 -110.
— KimBo36
June 1, 2002
Bad idea! I've had good luck in the thrift stores. Just yesterday I bought
a dress for less than $7. Was at a wedding
last night and another lady had it on as well. I learned while
chatting with her that it is still on the racks at Palais Royal:) I find
consignment shops to be pricey for me still but do well at the thrift
stores. 3 dresses for about $20.
You can always consign your big stuff to support it.
— lessofme170
June 2, 2002
I totally understand your delemma...I am always wearing clothes that are
way too big because I can't afford to keep up with my weight loss. Its
better than to be growing too BIG for my clothes like I used to do, but its
still frustrating. However, I think you already know the answer to your
question. You obviously are a honest person at heart or it wouldn't have
occured to you that returning used clothing would be wrong. The consignment
idea sounds good, I may give that a try myself. In the meantime, I try to
buy one pair of pants or one shirt every other week or so. I still end up
wearing much of the same things but thats just the way it is at this time
(my husband is newly unemployed). Congrats on your success, by the way.
— Donna L.
June 2, 2002
The solution that I have found is Ebay! You can find LOTS of new clothing
with tags still attached for the fraction of the cost you would pay in
retail stores. I have gone from a tight 24/26 to a roomy size 16 in just 4
1/2 months, and I have bought nearly everything from Ebay. I've also sold
most of the clothes that I have "outgrown" on Ebay as well, to
help finance the purchase of my new sizes. Personally, I have not had
much luck with the consignment or thrift stores locally, but be sure to
check them out in your area. It's a great way to get well-fitting clothes
at a good price. I think returning used items is a bad idea and certainly
dishonest. Best of luck on your upcoming success - C.
— Carmen S.
June 2, 2002
I'm preop but I sew. My plan is to make some sleeveless knit dresses, very
simple, no darts. I've got the fabric I just have to get working. As I
loose weight I will take in the side seams. If the neck gets too large I'll
put in a back or front seam. Over these I will where tops. I have several
cocoon jackets from BigonBatik.com that are "one size fits most"
They have a ninety inch hem, they look great on me and my normal sized 19
yr old DD. These can also be taken in if need be at the seems. There are
also directions for making these in a recent Threads mag. If you don't sew
you could buy this type dress and a cheap sewing machine to take it in.
— Sunny S.
June 2, 2002
Try the clothing exchange.
— Nikki D.
June 2, 2002
Would you want to buy something that someone else wore for a month
(thinking it's new)? I don't think so.
Why not go to used clothing places? You can get good deals often. What
about yard sales? That is a horrible thing to contemplate.... returning
clothes and having them put back out on the rack as new. Especially in this
day and age with all the diseases people sometimes have. Sounds about as
appealing as putting on someone's used underwear (unwashed too). Ahhh!
There are some great deals out there without having to do that. I
understand you concern about the money, but please don't do that. ;)
— Danmark
June 2, 2002
The most important possession we have is our character . . . don't
compromise yours. It's very very dishonesta and I'm even surprised that
you thought it MIGHT be ok. But, I think deep down, you knew it wasn't,
that's probably why you asked the question. If you REALLY don't know if
it's right or wrong, call the store and ask. Obviously, they'll say
"no" and you wouldn't call because, as I said, deep down, you
know. Go to the clothing exchange or thrift stores. In the end, you'll
feel good that you did the right thing. It's always apparant anyway, when
something has been worn (creases etc)they'll think you're sleazy for trying
to get by with it. Would be nice if we could though ~ I could use some new
things too!!! :) Just by used things and dream about your new wardrobe
you'll have very soon.
— Laurie Z.
June 2, 2002
If you belong to a local support group, they might have a clothing
exchange. I haven't lost much weight yet, but I'm going to meet someone
from my local support group on Tuesday who has 6 bags of clothes in my
size. Of course, I can't help HER because she is smaller than I am now,
but when I grow out of my clothes, I'm sure I'll donate them to our
clothing exchange. There is also a clothing exchange here on AMOS. I
think that probably most of us can't afford to be buying new clothes all
the time, so we just have to get by until we lose as much weight as we're
going to lose. Personally, when that happens for me, I'm going SHOPPING!!!
— Kristie B.
June 2, 2002
Dishonest, immoral, unethical, totally lacking in integrity, and probably
illegal in some places - if not, it should be. It is no better than
stealing.
— Cathy J.
June 2, 2002
Well yes it is a dishonest thing to do, BUT people do it.. dont let them
fool ya!! I know of a lady that would go buy a pair of shoes for that
special occasion and then take them back right after and tell them they
didnt fit right.. just depends on how often you are planning on doing it
too!! I wouldnt make a big habit of it. But a few times probably wont hurt.
There is a clothes exchange here on the site that helps people that are
post op. maybe you should give that a try!!
:-) *winks*
— M. Sprague
June 2, 2002
Cathy J. spoke my sentiments exactly. Karma at it's finest would come back
and bite you in the behind ~ it's the same as stealing in my eyes.
— Lisa J.
June 2, 2002
Don't even think about it, unless you can steal clothes from a store and
not feel guilty. If you wear clothes and then return them for refund,
you've stolen the clothes from the store! How would you sleep at night?
How could you be happy with your weight loss, knowing all of the small
clothes you are wearing are stolen and not paid for? You should Consider
wearing a size for 2 months or longer and skip sizes. I wore size 22-24
and I wore the same clothes until they were falling off of me. That took
about 3 months out from surgery! Bras and panties were first. Then when I
went shopping for clothes I wore a size 18! I then wore them until they
were falling off of me and I bought size 14! I am now skipping size 12 and
will buy size 10 when I get there. I did not buy many items in the size
14, 3 nice pants for work, 2 nice dresses for work, 2 nice shorts and 3
bike shorts, 4-5 tops that look good with both the nice pants and shorts
and a few t-shirts (2 of which I got at a garage sale for $1.00 for both).
Please Don't think about things to do that will be emotionally hard on you.
It's hard enough to deal with changing your eating habits and your
changing body and your changing relationship with food and changing
relationships with people! Cheeting a store just to wear free clothes hurts
both the store and it hurts you and your image of yourself! Don't do
things to drag yourself down when you are gaining confidence about yourself
and building a new self image. Go into this knowing you will need to spend
some money off and on, and the smaller sizes are not as expensive as the
larger sizes. I found I was so happy about the weight loss I was happy to
spend the money! I've saved so much money in taking my lunch to work each
day and not spending $6.00 each day and not spending $2.00 on cokes from
the vending maching each day (not to mention the snacks I don't eat) that
I've had no financial problems in buying clothes when I needed them. It
will work out for you and you don't have to do things that will bring shame
upon your new image!
— blank first name B.
June 2, 2002
I tried that line when I was a child "other people do it."
Thankfully, my mother said if others jumped off a bridge, would you do that
too. There is a lot of dishonesty and evil around and I am just as happy
not being part of it.
— faybay
June 2, 2002
For my first year I bought all of my (sizing down) clothes at garage sales.
I didn't buy junk, but very cheap nice clothes that someone else doesn't
need. I was dressed nice and didn't spend lots of money doing it. I would
higly suggest that as alternative
— ZZ S.
June 2, 2002
Just when I thought I have heard it all! LOL
— pam29922
June 2, 2002
Why not try an Outlet store. Went shopping with my size 10 friend the
other day at the GAP and OLD NAVY stores and she commented that the capri
pants are very cheap like $12.00. I can't wear that now but they have
sizes as large as 20 at the outlet. I know I never thought I could shop
there as a large person and I'm sure many like us think that. Try an outlet
you won't spend much and you will have your dignity (sp)
— ladynpeaches
June 2, 2002
Thrift stores & garage sales. You go through the sizes just fast
enough that it isn't worth money to buy them, nor is it worth the anguish
of doing something dishonest. MOst of the party dresses on my site came via
that route, all $25 or less. 2 were only $12 each. Most of my jeans were
$1 or less, unless they still had tags, then I'd go maybe $2.50. I got the
most edible plum wool gabardine raincoat, perfect but wrinkled, for $1.
100% camel dress coat for $15. I could go on & on. But the other nice
thing about paying so little is that when you're done with it (next week),
you can donate it to your local clothing exchange or right back to the
charity from which you bought it. That way you get nice things, cheap,
ever changing and warm fuzzies at the end of that size.
— vitalady
June 2, 2002
Sunny, I am surprised at all the negative comments you got to this answer.
Although a LOT of supportive answers as well. I agree with all the
positive comments, goodwill!
I have had to battle with the devil on my shoulder too honey. We all want
to get something for nothing some times in our lives. But just knowing you
are reaching out there to all of us shows you are not a bad person for
thinking that. I think everyone who got upset with you for even thinking
about it needs to sit back and look at what they have thought about in
there lives too. You hang in there and I am sure you will find a way to
clothe yourself.
enjoy loosing!
~Michelle
— Michelle J.
June 2, 2002
Hi Sunny! I want to ditto what an earlier person said about skipping
sizes, that can work! I went from a tight 24 to a 22, am now down to an
18. I didn't get much of anythign in a 20 at all and that seems ok.
Another idea I've seen, though personally haven't tried, is if you can sew,
to re-seam your clothes every so often. Just run a new seam to make the
outfit smaller. Hope this helps!
=) Sarah
— Sarah C.
June 2, 2002
Sunny....it would be dishonest and frankly, as a consumer, I do not want to
pay for it! But i do have a great idea for you. Try some of the nicer
thrift shops and good wills/salvation army stores if you have in your
neighborhood. They have Great stuff! I know the stuff i donate was
expensive, great quality, and hardly worn. I have found great jeans there
for 5$, cute skirts and tops for the same. They usually have great dresses
and work clothes too. There is nothing to be ashamed about going to those
stores. I love that the jeans are already broken in, and soft! Try it,
thats what im gonna do.
— robyn R.
June 3, 2002
I wouldn't do the exchange thing--It's just not right. What I did was buy
clothes from discount places and clearance racks--Old Navy, Ross, Target.
And be smart with the pieces you buy. I bought lots of stretchy stuff--not
those awful knit pants that we were FORCED to wear as MO, for heaven's
sake--but clothes that move with you. I bought just a bit tight and wore
them til they were loose. I bought nice skirts with elastic waists--they
look good thru at least three sizes. And plain stretchy, shiny
"t-shirts" were my friend. They go with anything and you can wear
them a little tight or a little loose without looking like a street walker
or a bag lady. Buy smart and you can make your clothes last thru three
sizes. It is a heck of a lot more ethical AND economical.
— ctyst
June 8, 2002
well to me it would be wrong and i dont think you should do it. Im pre-op
have my first Dr visit in august. I have put my younger sister who is
losing weight after thru diet and excercise (she was not MO just
overweight) on alert not to get rid of her "big jeans and t
shirts" cause god willing i will be aprroved and will need them soon
enough. Other then that I have already started a "piggy bank". I
going to hit thrify stors and yard sales but for my first
"anniversary" IM GOING SHOPPING.
— Becky M.
June 8, 2002
Honestly, I don't think that would be right. I know it sounds like you
will be spending a lot of money as you drop clothes sizes, but there are
very honest ways that you can have clothes without doing this.
I have put my mother on the watch for clothing of various sizes. She is a
real bargain shopper. She goest to thrift stores and yard sales. Let me
tell you, there are some real bargains to be found. I have bought clothes
with tags still on them for a few dollars for a complete outfit. I will
probably by a couple new items if I need them, but my plan is consignment,
yardsales and thrift stores.
— Gina E.
December 6, 2002
Hey thanks for the idea.........lol I guess it would depend on if ya wore
it or not and if it were in new shape. I have bought clothes and never even
got to wear them and I don't see anything wrong with returning em.
— Mark L.
December 18, 2002
I have a different take on return policies. First of all, the store choses
the conditions by which they will accept a return or refund. Second their
decision is always based upon generating profit (goodwill, being
competitive, swaying buyers decision to buy from their store etc...). The
store created the policy and the store thought out all the angles prior to
puting it in effect and they believe that the return policy will generate a
profit. So if a store will allow you to return an item in 30 days no
question ask.. then go for it. Merchants are big boys and fully know the
consequences of their policies. If they only want you to return an item
for defect then their return policy will state such. I see such return for
any reason as a try-before-you buy principle or a no fee renting with a
security deposit.
When I was in college I need a notebook computer for a school project. I
was able to use a notebook computer for free for the 3 months I needed one.
I bought from Circuit City then returned in 30 days. I repeated the same
at Staples and Office Depot. At the end of the quarter I returned the
computer for a full refund. I didn't influence these stores in any manner
to put in a generous no question ask 30 day return policy. On the contrary
each store had such a policy because they they believed it would benefit
them.
Take Care, Be Well, and Be Happy.
— John T.
Click Here to Return