Question:
Why do so many post ops regret the surgery for emotional issues?

I have been noticing that most of the reason for posties hating the surgery are mainly emotional problems? Why is that? Are these people just natuarlly emotional or is there something that the procedure does to make them blame it for their emotional problems? In other words is there something that I dont know about post-op life?    — Teekay80 (posted on July 30, 2002)

July 30, 2002
I personally have not had this problem, but I think it has to do with in pre op life using food as our emotional outlet (that danged emotional eating) and in post op life when you can't do that, it gets difficult for some. I have never regretted my surgery or what I have accomplished through it, but yes, there have been times I have wanted to "eat big" again, and can't. It gets frustrating, it can be disappointing...but I tend to look at the rewards more than what I "can't" do...just me, I guess. Good luck!! ~CAE~
   — Mustang

July 30, 2002
I've been coming to this site daily since Feb. 2001. I've seen more long-term post-ops who regret the surgery because they have lingering physical problems, not emotional ones. Emotional feelings like being upset or sad that people can no longer go out to eat with the same gusto as before...those types of feelings fade as people mature in their post-op life. People find other ways to handle the social aspects of eating, etc. But chronic health problems that are the result of surgery will most likely cause people to have bigger regrets. I'm not saying most people have these chronic problems...most don't. But there are some that do. Hugs, Joy
   — [Deactivated Member]

July 30, 2002
Are you talking about "depression" post op? If so I think it's just because of the surgery trama. I sure went through that but thankfully it does'nt last to long. Or are you talking "emotional regrets of having WLS"? I'm assuming that is it. Well I think too many people go into WLS all gunho thinking it is the answer to all there weight problems. YThey need to know that surgery is hard (for any reason) but this surgery REQUIRES LIFE LONG CHANGES. This is the truly hard part. Perhaps some people think that all the weight will 'magically pour off' (after the 6 month honeymoon) and 'they can go back into eating whatever they want afterward and in any amount'. In my opinion (does'nt mean I'm right) to many people go WLS when they have'nt tried everything else. I was prepared emotionally for WLS as I knew there was absolutely nothing else I could do to lose weight. Also, my body was giving out that last nine months I fought my insurance for approval. I also knew about the seriousness of surgery. Heck I've had 14 in my life, and a couple of them left me with life long health problems. So I went into WLS figureing that with my luck I'd have to have my gallbladder out (and 10 months later I had to), strictures (I sure had enough strictures from other surgeries (thankfully none this time!) and probally a hernia. In my case the WLS (although extremely painful for the first 10 days) turned out well. I finally got a surgeon who "knew his shit" (Excuse the bluntness- but I am really impressed with Dr. O'Malley's surgical skills!). I think people are thinking, "easy surgery, no effort to lose weight at any time, life is automatically going to be rosey (relationships of any kind) and I'll never have any health problems". Well those rose colored glasses don't stay rosey long. I was very fortunate with the surgery aspect of it (although the hospital was a nightmare) but I've had alot of potassium problems, and some other things last year. This year I was doing well (although still NO energy) but now I appear to have kidney problems. Kidney problems due to the WLS? Don't know yet as the test has'nt come back. But people need to know the seriousness of WLS BEFORE they do it. Once done, it's done. As far as emotional difficulties, the one that bothers me is on holidays and family get togethers. It is very hard not to want to continue eating for pleasure. Thankfully this is only around 4-5 times a year. It hurts... but I knew that would be hard, and I made up my mind that the WLS and weight loss was more important that a "few pleasure eatings". EVERYONE WHO HAS WLS "MUST" COUNT THE COST!" I'm not talking "sugerical cost", but be prepared as best you can for the "life long changes". It's not possible to be totally prepared as none of us know what problems are ahead. But people seem to think WLS is magic and they won't have any problems. Well I have news for them. (Sorry this is so long.)
   — Danmark

July 30, 2002
I have had emotional problems with 2 issues. the not being able to eat like i did when I was happy, sad, or whatever. The other issue that people can have a problem with is if you are in a relationship that has problems before surgery. You want to believe that losing the weight will fix everything- it doesn't!! The best advicec would be to go into the post op phase knowing that this surgery only fixes your weight problem and no others! Good Luck
   — Stephanie E.

July 30, 2002
This is another good question. There is so much emotional baggage associated with the whole weight issue. I read an interesing WLS in Rosie Magazine a couple of months ago that compared the experiences of two postops...One had a great experience, the other had the proverbial "Oh my God what did I do to myself?" experience, with a lot of complications, throwing up, etc. And here's what I took from her story. She had suffered from depression for most of her life, and was very much mourning the loss of food. Nobody had "told" her she wouldn't be able to eat much at all post op, etc. etc. She seemed like just a negative person overall, both pre and post op. I don't want to judge her, this is just what I garnered from the article, but I think her post op experience merely mirrored her preop outlook. In other words, if you are resigned to a life of failure and depression preop, your post op experience will reflect that. Don't know if this makes sense, but it's my opinion.
   — rebeccamayhew

July 30, 2002
That rosie magazine was about our own Melissa Janci who I know personally. Her profile is here. Fact is the rosie editor e mailed me for her phone number over 7 months ago. So I helped set that article up in a very small way. Jen mourned the loss of her buddy food a LOT! Me I was so happy to loose the weight, but it was tough at first, since we can eat so little. Now I dont feel deprived and eat about what other thin folks eat. I checked this while on our cruise. Thin folks dont gorge themselves even on a cruise...<P> Once the short term adjustment is over very few end up like melissa and regret their decision to have WLS. Its truly NOT a big problem. By a year out we can eat fairly normally and are much healthier, so whats to regret? The icky feeling when making bad food choices is a great reminder too. Besides it passes fast and isnt dangerous.<P> Regrets in the first month or two are common. Long term you will find very few!!! POST OP IS THE PLACE TO BE!
   — bob-haller

July 30, 2002
Incidently without surgery Melissa was destined to be blind. The weight was driving up the pressure in her brain affecting her optic nerve. She had a choice, WLS OR brain surgery to put in a drain. <P> I knew melissa BEFORE my WLS. She NEVER tried to discourage my choice to have surgery, just said I needed to know the risks... I tell everyone the same thing.
   — bob-haller

July 30, 2002
Sometimes I think that those who experience emotional problems and regrets after surgery, were not properly prepared for the long term lifestyle changes the surgery demands. I think some thought that after they lost their weight, they could go back to their old ways. Many of us, me included, gained our weight because we were emotional eaters-stress, depression, sadness etc. After surgery, the depression certainly went away (as being so overweight depressed me) but other emotions, like stress at work or at home, do not go away. So, you have to find another way to deal with these emotions, besides eating "comfort" foods. Its not easy, but being healthy, and normal weighted makes it all worth it. Also keep in mind that most post-ops go thru a brief period right after surgery when they regret it (due to the extreme change, pain, not on solid food yet, surgical complications, no energy etc). That passes for most in a short period of time.
   — Cindy R.

July 30, 2002
The answer is a simple one. Most of us who regret having surgery miss out comfort, out best friend....FOOD! I was miserable and extremely depressed after surgery. I was truly grieving the loss of my best friend...FOOD. I am almost 5 mths post-op now and I can truly say that surgery was a great thing! Do I still miss food sometime?...sure I do. However, those feelings are few and far in between now. I can cope. It's har to break a 40 yr old habit(overeating) overnight. I am taking my time and taking it day by day. I try to tell myself everyday "Nothing tastes as good as loosing feels" And that's the truth!
   — Sandra C.

July 30, 2002
I had to go off antidepressants prior to surgery. Now, 5 1/2 months out, I'm not in the least depressed. My psychiatrist can't figure out why this happened.
   — Linda V.

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