Question:
I am having second thoughts
I am 5'5' and 260 pounds BMI is 46 I had to fight long and hard to get approval for surgery I am suspose to have lap RYN on Dec19th I am wondering if I have made the right choice I am not a big eater to start with but I am very hung up all of a sudden about the amount of food I will be able to eat after surgery and wondering if it will work for me? Do people have surgery and not loose weight? What kind of message am I sending to my girls by having surgery? soory I'm rambling I guess I am just really scared I have been short tempered and snappy from lack of sleep due to worrying about the surgery I need some reasuring Kathy — kathy B. (posted on November 26, 2002)
November 26, 2002
Kathy: I believe the message you are sending to your daughters is that you
love them so much that you are willing to do whatever you have to so that
you can spend a long and healthy life with them and their children.
Surgery is a last resort but not a failure.
I have the exact same concerns and just posted something similar this
morning, although it hasn't shown up yet. I want to make sure I can live a
normal life afterwards. Have you discussed the size of pouch you will have
with your surgeon and what he or she expects will be your lifelong calorie
level once you are at goal? This is critical to me. Based on my past
weight loss, you will likely find you eat quite a bit of food but such high
quality low fat, low sugar food that you are more satisified. I personally
am a carb and sugar person, which is why I'm looking at surgery also.
Sounds like I would become a protein and fruit and veggie person after
surgery.
Get some sleeping meds, for the short term, from your doctor. You need
sleep to be able to think clearly.
My thoughts are with you! Chris D.
— zoedogcbr
November 26, 2002
Kathy,
I think most of us go through a period were we ask ourselfs if we are doing
the rite thing or not. I am 6 months post-op and have lost 120lbs. It was
the best thing i have ever done in my life. As far as the message you are
sending to your girls I can say, as a mother of three, my children have
never been happier!! They love the "NEW" mommy. The one that can
sit on the floor to play with them, the one that can stay awake long enough
to read them a bedtime story and the one that looks great in her new
clothes!! My girls as well as my son love it!! I know taht I do not miss
food at all and I was a BIG eater!! The cravings kinda just disapear!! If
you need to talk just email me!!! I wish you luck in whatever you decide to
do!!!
— Susan V.
November 26, 2002
Kathy, print off this page on your computer and save it. Then when your
kids start school in August (if they're old enough), pull it out and read
it. You will shake your head in amazement that you even had these thoughts.
By then, you'll probably be around 160 or less and have more energy, vigor
and joy in your life than you have had in years, if ever. Trust me, print
this page, then put a note in your calendar for Monday, August 25, 2003.
Then pull this out and read it. You can then email me and remind me that
"I TOLD YOU SO!!!" All the best!
— Robby E.
November 26, 2002
Hi Kathy. First thing, take a deep breath in and out and RELAX. Having
second thoughts is 100% normal -- surgery is never something you should
take lightly. Secondly, my 2 kids (14 yr. old girl and 8 yr. old boy) are
THRILLED that I had this surgery. It's made such a difference in my life
which of course makes a big difference in their life too. I now am active
in school activities with them where before I would avoid all that (Didn't
want to be the fattest Mom in the room syndrome!). I started out 5'5"
and 275. I'm 11 months post op and am now 165. It still amazes me how
quickly I get full when I eat. Like most obese people, I failed to
recognize the quantity of food I ate each day. I honestly didn't think I
ate that much. But I did. I didn't eat one Krispy Kreme -- I ate 3 (at
least). I didn't have a 1 oz. cheese chunk for a snack -- I had 3 or 4 oz.
for a snack. It's really hard to recognize that fact when it's so near and
dear to your heart. Let's face it -- if we didn't ENJOY eating, most of us
would not have a weight problem. I STILL love to eat and I don't deny
myself anything. But now instead of 2 ice cream sandwiches before bed, I
have a bite of my kids instead. And it honestly does satisfy me. 11
months ago, when I was getting ready for surgery, I found myself in the
same position you are.......what in the world am I doing to myself?
Shouldn't I try one more diet to lose this weight before I submit to
surgery? Can I be the only one who will go through this and fail? I was
still asking myself these questions as they wheeled me into surgery. I had
a few complications after surgery but I can say, with 100% total honesty, I
have NEVER regretted doing this. Not even a little. This was, hands down,
one of the BEST things I've ever done for myself. I'm sure my words will
not put all your fears to rest but know this......you are not alone.
Everyone here understands. Give yourself a hug, you deserve it. Best of
Luck.
— Pam S.
November 26, 2002
Kathy: You are having all the same feelings we all have had, I promise. I
was scared to death wanting to back out on the operating table but knew it
was my only hope!! That was about 17months ago. I met my goal at
10months. I was 5'4" and 279lbs. Today I am 5'4" and 118lbs. I
wore 2X and 3X and now wear a size 4 or 6. It has changed my whole life.
I am 42yrs old and knew I would be the one it didnt work on. I did
everything my doctor told me and have never thrown up. Of course I do not
eat sugar. That is the only thing I choose not to eat. I control the food
now. It does not control me. Good Luck and You GO GIRL!! You will never
look back....//Candiss
— Candiss T.
November 26, 2002
Kathy, I can sure relate to how you feel. I was 5' 6" and weighed 258
lbs. It is a little harder when you are a "lightweight" I
believe. You know you think, well, maybe I can just diet some more. But
we know that if we wait we will just continue to lose and regain. Elective
surgery is very hard. It totally has to be your choice. I know I asked
GOD for guidance. If HE is the one telling you no, then for sure DON'T DO
IT! But if it is your own doubts, just know that these feelings will pass.
I am so happy that I went on w/my surgery/ I am at my goal weight after
14 months and I am very happy w/ results. I will keep you in my prayers,
and I know you will be fine. Just think what a great Christmas present you
will have: HOPE for the future! Patti Meadows 258/-104 Lap RNY 9/27/01
— peppermintp
November 26, 2002
Hi Kathy:
I think we have all been where you are now. I was 5'4" and weighed
226 pounds before surgery. The doctor told me if I weighed 10 pounds less,
he would not even consider me for surgery. I thought long and hard about
this. The decision is monumental and difficult. I finally decided that
this was my last chance. I had simply tried everything else. At 49 years
old, I had plenty of years to do that! Please know that you are not alone.
What you are feeling is very normal. For myself, more and more health
problems began to occur, and I was afraid to put it off any longer. Good
luck in whatever you decide. I know you will do what is best for you. I
will be thinking about you, hoping that you follow your heart and mind.
Love Grace
— Grace H.
November 26, 2002
You sound exactly like me before I had the surgery!!!!!! I just about
didn't do it. Now I am soooo glad I did. I am six months post op down 106
pounds. That is 6 pounds below goal. I have gone from a size 24 to a size
6. But most importantly I feel like a kid again! I never realized how
much the weight really affected me until it was gone. Please read my
profile before you change your mind.
— Linda A.
November 26, 2002
You sound exactly like me before I had the surgery!!!!!! I just about
didn't do it. Now I am soooo glad I did. I am six months post op down 106
pounds. That is 6 pounds below goal. I have gone from a size 24 to a size
6. But most importantly I feel like a kid again! I never realized how
much the weight really affected me until it was gone. Please read my
profile before you change your mind.
— Linda A.
November 26, 2002
Dearest Kathy....like everyone else has said, you are feeling all the same
things any of us felt before our surgery, especially if we have children.
I am three months out, <64 pounds and feel so great.
You are setting an awesome example for your children! You are showing them
that you are courageous and strong and willing to do whatever it takes to
prolong your life and improve your quality of life.
This is a huge decision. I struggled with mine too, but I know that this
is a gift God gave me to save my life! I would do it once a year if I had
to! I love what Candace said "I control food now, it doesn't control
me." So true.
Blessings in this decision and in your quest for a healthier life! E'mail
me if you need to chat!
— Scarlett A.
November 26, 2002
Hi Kathy. Like everyone else has said, you are not alone. Many of us
questioned our decision prior to surgery and I also agree that the decision
may be a little more bittersweet for us "lightweights" who think
we should've been able to do it by ourselves. I also thought of myself as
not a big eater but to be fair (and in no way to be offensive) we have to
eat a pretty good amount to wind up morbidly obese. What is difficult for
you to understand as a pre-op is that when you eat food post op you are
going to feel as though you've eaten a ton even though you've only eaten a
little. That's what makes our goals physically and emotionally attainable.
We are able to be satisfied. We are able to be happy. You will lose
weight. What kind of message are you sending to your girls? You're
sending them the message that it's o.k. for us not to be perfect. It's
o.k. for us to seek help for this disease. You're sending them the message
that you think they're worth fighting for, worth staying around for. Your
battle is almost over and your exciting journey is soon to begin. I can't
guarantee every step will be easy but I can assure you every step will be
worth it. May the Lord bless you and keep you and take you safely to the
other side. We'll all be waiting for you.
— ronascott
November 27, 2002
Kathy dear, I feel you!! I started out like you. I am 5'5 and was 276lbs
and am now, 15 months post op and down to 145lbs. I, too had second
thoughts about doing it, how would my children view me having this done,
etc. Well, girl, I tell you what, I feel like a whole new person, my
children have told me that they are glad that I had surgery because I have
more energy to play and romp around with them. I know it can be very scary
from where you are right now, but it will be well, worth it on your journey
downwards :) You will be in my prayers and just know that you are not
alone!!
— ncgal
November 27, 2002
Kathy, what you are feeling is really normal. I think that by having the
surgery, you are showing your girls what courage is all about. You are
willing to make a positive change in your life,and you will be succesful.
Trust in God, and he will lead you through. God Bless you and your family.
Leslie (2 mo out -54lbs)
— Leslie A. J.
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