Question:
How do you all handle the new found attention from the opposite sex?
I know I can't be the only one going through this issue, as I look at the before and after pictures every week on this website, and there are some very beautiful women and handsome men. I have been married for 24 years, my husband and I married when we were teenagers. I have found the opposite sex is giving me a lot of attention of late, and I wondering how all of you handle this, after massive weight loss. I went from hoping to go in a room without anyone noticing me, to noticing that I am getting a lot of looks and it is not because I am morbidly obese anymore when I enter a room. I love my husband, and I don't want anything to happen to our marriage, but this attention is a little distracting. Thanks to everyone in advance for their feedback on this issue! — sheron H. (posted on December 2, 2002)
December 2, 2002
I have to be honest..... I have lost over 130 lbs.. And I am pretty much
at goal... But when I first lost wt, and men started looking at me it
thrilled me. I have been with my hubby since 93, and we get along great..
I love him with all my heart.... Our sex life is alot better, because I am
able to be more active now. And I have to admit, knowing I look good to
other men, makes me know that my husband thinks I look okay. You see, my
husband is not a vocal person, sure he tells me he loves me a dozen times a
day. But I want to hear, that he thinks I am pretty. Everyone else tells
me how wonderful I look and I know he agrees, but just for once I would
love to hear him say it.... This is where the other sex and their
"SLY" looks come in.. Watch your hubby when he thinks that you
aren't looking when men are noticing you... It makes him take notice. But
it makes you take notice too What I am saying is use it to your advantage,
don't do nothing drastic... Just take it to heart that you are a
desirable woman.... Think about it like this, would those men have looked
at you when you weighed 50-100lbs more, No, most likely not, But who
loved you then? That is right, dear old HUBBY. Take heart girl.
— TONYA B.
December 2, 2002
Hi there Sheron, I am only 2 months post and I'm down 72 lbs. I have had
men look at me, because I am still not losing from the top. My hubby has
always told me that I was beautiful and does even more so. I guess,
because I have always had bad self-esteem issues, that even now, I don't
believe it that men would sit and stare, especially with me hanging on to
my DH's arm! It can be a tiny bit distracting, but then I look at my DH
and realize, this man knows and loves me, the real me.
He is worth it!
And Tonya, I have to tell you, I LOVED your answer!!! I hear of so many
who are willing to leave their spouses because they gained self-esteem, not
because their mates have done anything wrong or because they cheated or did
something to physically hurt them, but because they gained a little
self-confidence, because they now think they're too good or too
good-looking to be with that person?! I married my DH when I was almost at
my heaviest and he is no where near being overweight, I married him because
he knew the inner me, the me that is finally being let out of the shell.
And Tonya, you brought out a good point, who loved us when these
"good-looking" men didn't give us the time of day, that's right,
the one person we promised to love thru thick and thin and I think that
phrase could include our weight!
— Vi F.
December 2, 2002
hi there! :) wow what a difference this weightloss has made! i get tickled
when someones checkin me out now. becuase thats what it is now rather than
being gawked at like a freakish curiousity. im not used to it but i am
enjoying this a whole lot more than being laughed at or frowned on. im
still the same carrie no matter what but the attention is cool! :)
— carrie M.
December 2, 2002
i am still pre-op (ONLY BY 7 WAKE UPS) but that is actually one fear that
my husband has voiced. He is afraid that I will get noticed by other men
and like it. Now, my husband is a very complementary person to me - he
always has been, but his insecurities are starting to show a little. He
also was afraid that after I finished my nursing degree that I was going
toleave him.
But, its only him, I think I am the luckiest girl in America to have gotten
my catch. He has never made my weight an issue, and treats me like gold on
a silver platter even when sometimes I act like buggers on a paper plate.
Just needed to tell everyone else how lucky I am..... and yes I am sure
that those looks I will be receiving soon will be strange but, I can smile
on the inside and hold my head a little higher on the outside....
jenn
— jennifer W.
December 2, 2002
Thank you all for your feedback. My husband is the same wonderful man he
has always been. It is me, and has always been me. I am going to start
seeing a counselor to help me through this difficult period. I am sure I
will come out of this stronger (and married) for going through this now.
Thanks again!
— sheron H.
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