Question:
I'm am wondering whether or not to tell my parents and sisters.
My family has not been a supportive family - history says it all. While my husband is very supportive and my boss and co-workers have been great about it too, I cannot see informing my parents or my two sisters about my decision. Afterwards, ok, but not before. What has anyone else done in this situation? — Jodie P. (posted on April 18, 2003)
April 18, 2003
Hi Jodie. I told only my husband and my two daughters. I did NOT tell my
parents, his parents, or my best of friends! I only told my daughters for
they had gotten worried for pre op testing are lenghtly and they had become
afraid mom had an uncurable disease!! They were so relieved to find out I
was "only" having WLS!! LOL To this day, 6 months out, I still
have not told another soul about my WLS. When asked what type of surgery I
was having, I said female surgery, which is true, I am female and I had
surgery!! *grin* When asked how am I losing weight, I reply, lots of
protein, low carbs, and gallons of water!! Which is all true!! My husband
likes to say when asked, I give her plenty of meat, and then winks!! ROFL!!
Really, he is so proud of me! If there is anything I can answer for you,
please fill free to ask. ((((HUGS))))
— kd
April 18, 2003
I know how you feel. My surgery is scheduled for April 29th in Mexico, and
I have told my parents and sister that I am going on a business trip. I
plan to tell them when I get home. My friends think I should exercise my
rights as an adult and just tell them. But Im with you, I am not going to
say a word until its done! good luck, Laurie
— LAURIE C.
April 18, 2003
Hi there! I am in the same situation with you only it's my dad that will
try to talk me out of it. No way! I personally feel you should tell them
because if you had complications or had to be in the hospital longer than
expected, I'm sure they would want to be there with you. My suggestion
would be to send them an email or a written note just a day or two before
surgery. Explain that you are having surgery on XXX date, that you have
thoroughly researched it and have decided it is the best option for you,
and that you would appreciate their support. Also write in the note that
you are confident in your deicision and ask them to please not try to talk
you out of it or send any negativity your way as you are only having
positive influences around you to help you heal and get through it. Tell
them that if they want to support you that would be great, and if they do
not want to support you, you will not be accepting any
letters/visits/phonecalls that are meant to bring you down or change your
mind. That way you can let them know that you are having surgery but also
let them know that you are unwilling to accept any negativity or
non-support. Good luck!
— beeda
April 18, 2003
I have told my family, friends and co-workers (none of whom are supportive)
that it's my decision, no matter what they say. I have done my research
and made my mind up. Now, you may not be as stubborn as I, or may not have
shown that side to your loved ones, but my family, friends and even my
co-workers and boss know better than to try and talk me out of it. As for
having the surgery, I'm waiting to be scheduled with Dr. Aguirre for
mid-to-late July. Once that is done, I'm going to go to my mother (who is
a nurse and feels that she knows best because of her profession) and
telling her I'd really like her there to help me out and support me. I'll
pay her way and I'll lean on her when I need it, but she'll have to keep
the negative responses and snide remarks out of our conversations. If it
doesn't look as if she can do it, I'll go to my friend and present the same
case. If she can't do it, I'm going to go by myself. I'm very, very
strong willed and self-sufficient, and I've always been one tough cookie,
so it should all work out, no matter what. If you are self-sufficient and
strong-willed, you might want to try this option. Good luck! If your
family is as pigheaded as my family, we're in for a real battle.
— deanaferrari
April 18, 2003
I know exactly where you're coming and to this day a year after my surgery
outside of my husband and a few close friends none of my family knows. My
intention was to tell them after but even now I decided its best for me not
to tell because I need to do this with support and encouragement to be
sucessful and 25 years of history told me I could not count on them for
that. I love my family but not everyone needs to know everything
— Laurie B.
April 18, 2003
Perhaps you could write your family a letter and have your husband hold the
letter. In the event of complications or an extended hospital stay, then
you could have your husband give them (or mail them) the letter you wrote
pre-op, explaining what procedure you had done and why. If everything goes
according to plan, your husband doesn't have to give them the letter and
you can choose whether to tell them later or not.<br>
Lap-RNY 1/13/03 -100lbs & Counting!
— thumpiez
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