Question:
I've lost over 80# and am grateful to hear numerous compliments, but why can't I see

I am down over 80#, tomorrow will be 5 mo. post-op. I receive numerous compliments on my weight loss that I am grateful for, although I can't see this huge change everyone tells me about. It frustrates my family! The only place I see the change is the smaller clothing sizes....Yee Haw! Any input would be greatly appreciated! Thanks Tammy in Wisconsin    — Tammy B. (posted on August 11, 2002)


August 11, 2002
I am the same way sometimes. I'm 2 1/2 months post-op and down 50 pounds. Some days i look so much better, other days I look like my same fat self. What helps me is looking at pictures of myself pre-op. Whenever I do, I can always tell a difference in myself, and then i realize that I have lost weight and feel proud of myself! maybe this will work for you, too! :)
   — Lezlie Y.

August 11, 2002
Tammy, I know how you are feeling. I am 15months post op and have lost 121# and am still loosing. I have gone from a size 28 to a size 10/12. I STILL can't see a major difference. I get compliments all the time but I still see myself as huge. I tend to irritate friends and family as well. One day I hope to overcome my self esteem issues and be happy with how I look. Good luck to you!
   — Virginia N.

August 11, 2002
Let me echo the previous posties! Seems like we've all been there! My husband and coworkers call me "Skinny Minnie!" Some days, I look at myself and see absolutely no change, even though I'm down 4 sizes. Oh, well -- I guess it comes with the territory!
   — ZaZa F.

August 11, 2002
You know, I am down 70 lbs. and I feel great and I can see muscles in some places and my clothes are smaller etc., but it really bugged me that I still look huge when I look at myself. Then I started thinking about getting a tummy tuck next year and started really looking at what was going to get whacked. If it weren't for all this flabby skin hanging all over my hips and stomach, I really would think that I'm skinny. I don't know how much you've got to loose still, but go to some of the before and after pictures of tummy tucks and see if your body is maybe one of those before pictures. It helps me to realize that the flabby skin is most of the problem with my perception. Hope that helps!
   — Carolynn J.

August 11, 2002
I know at one point and time I was down to 113lbs. and STILL saw a fat person. I truly believe we have seen ourselves as overweight for so long - it's a habit. I once heard someone say once a person is overweight they always look at themselves that way -no matter how slim/trim they get. I really believe that.
   — Can9603

August 11, 2002
Take lots of pictures, it has helped me
   — Angie B.

August 11, 2002

   — Joni D.

August 11, 2002
Hi there :) I know just how you feel. I am 9 weeks (and 3 days) post-op, down 58 pounds.....and I feel just as big as ever. Correction...I think that I LOOK just as big. I FEEL wonderful. I FEEL thinner. The only disadvantage I have, is that I haven't been told I look different. I am blaming it on the fact that those around me see me often, and don't notice the gradual change. The real test is when I return to work in 2 weeks. I know I am losing by looking at the scale, being able to work out so much more, and by my clothes. I tried on my uniform pants last night and they are way too big to wear when I go back! Also...I used to use the first "belt loop" and now I can use the 5th and last one! Just keep listening to those people tell you how great you look. After years of being judged and thought of as "different" or not as good...I intend on relishing every single compliment I am paid. I might even make them say it twice!
   — Kelly C.

August 11, 2002
It will hit you eventually. It hit me the other day when I went to the mall and was able to buy shirts at The Limited. I didn't even need to buy the shirts to feel good. Just not feeling totally out of place in a "regular" sized clothing store was enough to make me realize how far I've come. I am down about 107, still have another 39 till goal, and have many days that I still feel like a fat person. But, there are also times when I catch a glimpse of myself and am surprised. I agree with a previous poster too - takes lots of pictures. Comparing them to my "befores" gets me going on a bad day. Trust me, you will definitely see it soon enough. I was near 90 down when I finally did. Congrats on the Loss!
   — PaulaM

August 11, 2002
I've lost 115 pounds and am at goal. When I'm dressed and ready for work I can look in the mirror and think I look o.k. However, when I'm in front of the mirror after the shower I just see this big fat woman. I've even had a tummy tuck and I still see a big woman. I think it's body image issues that all obese people suffer with. For me I think it's the only part of the process that is "incurable". (Not that any part of it is really curable) My 17 year old son said it best when he said "Mom, you're only fat in your head. I guess that makes you a FAT HEAD". That's the only time I can say being called a fat head wasn't an insult. I also agree with all the other posters - take photos and measurements. That's what makes it "real". Best wishes!!
   — ronascott

August 11, 2002
I am 3 months post-op and down 71 pounds - and, like you, don't really see the loss when I look in the mirror. While I still have atleast 120 more pounds to lose - those around me say they can see the loss. What has REALLY helped me is taking pictures every monthly anniversary... you can check them out @ my web site: http://myweigh.loopy.ca/pictures.html I can really tell in the pics... so I hihly recommend you take them! Congrats on your loss, btw!
   — nolongerobese

August 11, 2002
I'm in a size 8 for the first time in my life. I had my tummy tuck on Wednesday and took off the bandages tonight and it looks like he did an awesome job. However, I still see fat. Granted, it didn't help when I stepped on the scale and from Wednesday to today I've gained 5 pounds!! I know it's water weight and all the trauma from the surgery but it's enough to freak me out. I'm 9 months post-op lap rny and I still see how big my butt looks to ME. I seem to be the only one who sees it though. It's going to take a lot of work to get rid of the poor self image. I think they should have POST-OP psych evaluations rather then PRE-OP evaluations. They'd probably find there work really cut out for them.
   — Patty H.

August 11, 2002
Our surgeon tells his patients that it generally takes about three years for your head to "catch up" with your body. My daughter and I are 32 and 30 months post-op, and we have found that to be true. Only recently have we really been able to see what others see. Even after my TT and armlift surgery in November, my mental image didn't match the image in the mirror. I think that we're finely "settling in"...try to be patient with yourself. Others see your "beauty" inside and out...soon you will appreciate it fully as well.
   — Diana T.

August 11, 2002
Hi--I am assuming that part of me will always be MO--or at least think that I am MO. I know I am buying smaller clothes and I know what I see when I look in a mirror. But there are still times that I will catch a "surprise" glimpse of myself in the mirror or in a store window and I'll be like "who is that person?" I still get those pangs of jealousy when I see a thin woman, thinking that I am still this cow who escaped from the pasture, I still need to remind myself where I am and not where I was...because as I call it, "HEAD/MIND MORBID OBESITY" sometimes is even harder to deal with than the actual physical MO. We spend so long denying we are "that big" (for a long time I could only say I was "heavy") I couldn't say "fat" or "obese" and when it hit, "morbidly obese", that now, when we are going down the scale, our brains can't catch up. It'll take a while, I know, but I can't wait for the day to happen when I "forget" and actually come to terms with what I am now...which is "NORMAL"!! Good Luck!! ~CAE~
   — Mustang

August 12, 2002
I'm 15 months post op and down almost 150 lbs with 40 to go. I use to wear 3X shirts and 56 jeans. Now it's Medium shirts and 34 jeans. You know, I still think I need at least an Extra large shirt and large jeans. Everything I tried to buy was always to small... now they are to large. Geese. I still see myself as heavy... perhaps I always will. Oh and now that my weight loss has pretty much stopped, everyone is saying "you've lost more weight"! Strange.
   — Danmark




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