Question:
A Tale of Body Image & Accidental Compliments...Share Yours!

I had an interesting experience today that I would like to share with you all. I went to the gym this morning and did a Core Strength & Stability class which involves rolling your butt all over a room whilst perched upon a giant ball. Fun, eh? Anyway, I decided to be daring (since the class never has any guys in it anyway) and wear some spandex workout tights without the usual accompanying tent like t-shirt. Fast forward to when my car battery dies because I was unaware you have to water the little buggers...have the same problem with plants...hmmm. Anyway, the guy who comes to jump-start my car casuallly says, "Are you a runner?" I snicker to myself at the thought and say "Um, no." He looks at me and replies, "Oh, you look like a runner." I was floored! After suspiciously checking him over for signs of glee at my expense, I realized he was sincere. I had a hysterical moment where I nearly blurted out, "You should have seen me 100lbs ago!" but I managed to supress it. :P I have been turning the phrase over in my mind, trying to fit my image into it all day. To think an off-hand statment like that could actually make you feel so good! I am interested to hear what the first comments some of you received that affected you like this...share, please! :)    — Rachael B. (posted on December 8, 2003)

December 8, 2003
By the way...Original Poster here...I DID have on a t-shirt, just one that actually fit! Didn't want any of you thinking dirty thoughts! hehe
   — Rachael B.

December 8, 2003
Nice thing to share, thanks. I work with many people who are always, and I mean always so complimentary of me. Like DAILY. But, this one gentleman, who is younger than me, came into my office as he does everyday just to visit, and did a double take and said, "Michele, how is it that you look even better every day than you did the day before?" I looked at him and said, "If I weren't married, I would plant a big one right on your lips for that one!" Another thing I over heard my brother-in-law say to my husband (in the other room) was, "I didn't know you married a Cheer-a-leader?" It feels good, doesn't it? Oh the years of making up we have to do.
   — Michele B.

December 8, 2003
Rachel Mine is similar to your story someone said to me I have that lean athletic build and I nearly laughed in her face. Do we ever see ourselves as we are ? I am constantly asking my husband to show me someone I am the same size as and then I dont believe him. He even pointed out than I have gone from plus size jeans to Gap skinny jeans ! Congrats to you, Lesley
   — Lesley T.

December 8, 2003
One of the nicest compliments I have got since losing 144# was when I walked into a "Dress Barn for Women" store. I was looking around when the clerk asked if I was shopping for myself. When I said yes she said we don't have anything to fit you here, you will have to go to the other store. Quiet a different feeling from the time I went into a bridal shop to look at a dress my friend had picked out and was told by the clerk that "we don't carry plus sizes".
   — Tawnda C.

December 8, 2003
I had a somewhat similar experience about a month ago. I was chatting with a bodybuilder who comes into the tanning salon that I work at post time. Anyway, he said something to the effect of "You know, you work out all the time. You have an amazing body."!!!!! Well, I about fell to the floor. I have body dismorphic disorder so I can't see what I look like but dang!!!! I did tell him that I am 135 lbs lighter and he couldn't believe it. I even showed him my scars. LOL He was very nice and was sincerely happy about my surgery.....and it made me feel like a million bucks. ;-) Stacy Wis.
   — hawk4life

December 8, 2003
I get the comment A LOT, "your SOOO tiny". That always blows my mind. Then if I tell them how much I used to weigh, it blows there mind!!!!!!!
   — Patty H.

December 8, 2003
The comment that I get all the time, from ppl who have always known me, is 'you are just gonna blow away.' I love to hear it, but still don't necessarily believe it. That whole body image thing..I still don't see it. My coworkers tell me everyday..'you are so skinny' I see a smaller me, but not a skinny me. Oh well, still nice to hear..never gets old. lol 306/178
   — Jaime H.

December 8, 2003
I work at a high school, and when I returned from summer break one of the teachers introduced herself to me. She honestly did not recongize me as the same person from three months earlier. But my favorite was the 2 people who told me not to lose anymore weight that I was thin enough. WOW. Hope I look even thinner after my tummy tuck on Monday. :o) Sherry
   — sherry hedgecock

December 8, 2003
This is such a common experience anymore, but I will tell you that the two most wonderful compliments came of late. My boss, who NEVER notices anything good about a person (he's a a good guy, just in his own world) said to me last week... "Lisa, you look so pretty it's amazing". Then... the big kicker is my 12 year old son and 16 year old daughter telling me last night... "mama, you look HOT". That almost made me cry, it was so wonderful. The other nice thing is the fact that I'm single and I have wanted to date. Now, I get a lot of offers and don't feel as if I have to accept based on my fear of not getting another offer! I can be selective:-) It's such a great feeling. Thanks for sharing this post and giving us an opportunity to reflect on how good it feels. God bless!
   — Happy I.

December 9, 2003
A guy I work with said to me one day recently: "Does your husband know a good locksmith?" I looked at him quizzically, and shook my head no. He says, "Well tell him he better find one soon to keep you under lock and key, cause you're looking too good to be let out." Also, my Dad has started calling me "Slim," and I love it because no one has ever referred to me in that way before!! LOL
   — Carlita

December 9, 2003
I can relate the the "You're going to blow away" statements. I am like "Yeah, right!" I don't think I will ever be able to see what other people see, because I still see the 266lb person. I do see the difference in the clothes, etc., but it sometimes feels like it's another person experiencing all these things. I was at Curves one day and talking with another lady there, and she was stating how Curves really was for obese people(she was not, by a long shot!) and there really was not enough challenge as far as strength training. There was a poster on the wall of people who lost alot of weight by going to Curves. She pointed at one girl(the pic was of the girl after she lost all the weight) and said that since we were both already her size after she lost, maybe we needed more resistance training. I told her that I used to be one of those obese people, and she just looked at me and said no way. I told her yes and she just turned red and kept apologizing. I told her it was ok, and that I was flattered that she thought I had been that size all along. And I will never get used to the comments from guys. Just will never happen. It feels good though..:oD
   — dixieb

December 9, 2003
I work in a family run business...I had a long time customer come in the other day and kinda look at me funny and ask if I was "Deanna's Sister" I just about fell outta my chair!!!! I said "no, Mavis it's me..." I wanted to reach over and shut her mouth for her before a fly flew in!!! Days like that that make me grin!!!! BIG HUGS ALL!!!
   — Deanna_K

December 9, 2003
My uncles girlfriend (ann) of over 10 years came to Thanksgiving dinner. She saw my 2 year old sitting in a highchair eating. My 2 yr old had just gotten her hair cut and did not have her signature pig tales in her hair. Ann says whos little one is this? I was sitting nearby.....I said "shes mine....thats Hannah" She looked at me bewildered and said "Ok and you are...Who???" I am sorry I dont think we have been introduced.?" The whole house burst into laughter. She really had no idea who I was.
   — hooterzgirl75

December 9, 2003
I've had a few instances where I was amazed at what someone said. Some of the customers at my job keep saying "I can't believe how great you look", " I never noticed how little you really are (I'm only 5'1" ,but I guess the weight made me look "bigger" all around..lol). I had a woman come up to me in church asking me if I was on Extreme Make-Overs, she said she didn't recognize me at first, and asked someone if it was me, and they said NO way..lol..SURPRISE,, it's me. One of the best was a silent reaction, a man always came into the bank with one of those Herbal Life pins "I've lost weight, ask me how" he would blatenly put it on while he was standing in line. After 101 lb weightloss he doesn't wear it anymore.. funny thing is, he's never acknowledged my weight loss.. I feel like telling him " Ask me how,, I'll be happy to tell you" LOL. Life is so much fun now!!!!!
   — KellyJeanB

December 9, 2003
I went to dentist this morning, the girl cleaned my teeth, she then checks my chart to see if she was the one that cleaned my teeth 6 months ago, she then tells me she didn't recognize me since the last cleaning!!! She was amazed at the difference -94 makes ....how cool is that!!!! I'm lovin it....
   — Janet M.

December 9, 2003
The other day I was at the local store in our town. It is very small and we know everyone that works there. We have been going to this store for over 15 years on an almost daily basis. The thing is this...I have not been there during the daytime in like seven or eight months. So the daytime worker, Betty, was at the register. I have known her since I was 16. I was buying some beer for my husband and she asked me for my I.D. I laughed and told her I couldn't believe she needed to see my I.D. after all the years we have known eachother. She looked at me like I was an alien and said "I have never seen you before in my life!" I proceeded to tell her who I was, who my husband was, my mother-in-law, all my other relatives that come in the store as well. And she says "Well, I know who Tracy is, and I know all the other people you mentioned, but I know you are NOT Tracy, maybe you are her friend or relative, but I do NOT know YOU!" I couldn't believe it! And then it hit me that she didn't know me as a thinner person! I have been obese since I was 18 and that is alot of years!!! LOL!! But the kicker to all this is the fact that when I did pull out my I.D. it still has my old fat picture on it, and she accused me of using "Tracy's" I.D. She still didn't believe me and would NOT sell me the beer because of it! UNBELIEVABLE!!! I just didn't think our faces would change that much, the body I understand, but our face is still our face even if it is skinnier. :) I guess the most touching thing that happened though, would be with my husband. One day we had some friends over and they brought someone over that I had never met before. Now, I have already lost over 100 pounds, and so I am not as big as I was only six months ago. So anyway, I dug out some old pictures of myself from the past ten years. Anyway, my husband was looking at them also, and he has been with me when I was a teenager and thin, and after kids and I was obese. Well, he was looking at this one picture (and I must say it is the most hideous picture I have ever taken, in fact, I have it as my first picture on my profile.) and he looks up at me while he is holding this ugly thing, and has tears in his eyes. And he said.."I'm sorry honey, I never realized you were this big. I never noticed it before. I am sorry that I didn't want you to have this surgery." This might upset some people because he called me "big" but not me. Because I realized then that he has always loved me for me. And only me, not for my body or the size I wear. And it made me cry too.
   — TracyInTheZoo

December 9, 2003
My favorite was last year and I was a year out from surgery at that time and down 130lbs. My husband and I hosted his familys christmas party. Alot of these people I only see once a year and they didn't know I had surgery. One of his cousins came to the door and I answered it. She had this strange look on her face. We chatted for a few minutes and then I had to go and mingle like the good hostess I am! LOL! She later came up to me and said, "Holy Crap, Kris! I had to ask my sister if Tim had remarried. I didn't recognize you at all!" She then gave me a big hug. Another one of Tim's cousins (who I do see throughout the year and knew about the surgery)came to the door and his reaction was "Holy S*&#! Your a hottie! Tim had better keep tabs on you!" That felt GREAT!! Its something I will always love to hear after years of getting NO compliments and pretty much being ignored!
   — Kris T.

December 9, 2003
I actually have two...one happened just this weekend. My mom asked my sister and I go to shopping with her to try on clothes so that she could pick items out for us for Christmas that we would actually like. As my sister and I are in the same dressing room I made a remark about my chubby thighs and my sister proceeded to actually YELL at me! She asked if I didn't realize that they were suppose to have a bit of meat on them. The other was a month ago, a co-worker was in town from Canada that I had not seen in about 2 years. She had always told me that I was absolutly beautiful so I was stunned when I walked past her, stopped and had to introduce myself to her. She just stood there in front of some of her Canadian counterparts for a FULL two minutes just starting at me. When she finally came to all she could say is that she couldn't believe what she was seeting. Then we had to excuse ourselves b/c she wanted all the juicy gossip on what "HAD" to be a blossoming lovelife! It was grand!
   — Michelle S.

December 9, 2003
I have gotten lots of GREAT complliments, and many people (even family members) haven't even recognized me. My uncle calls me "sexy" or "skinny" now.But I have also gotten a few rude comments like once I ran into my husbands cousin in a store and she said "what kind of drugs are you on, and don't tell me you're not doing drugs, because there is no way you lost that much weight that fast without drugs!" I was blown away... I should have said "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, B****" but I told her about the surgery instead. People just treat me so much better now. Its such a drastic change. I love it! 263/172/150 Joy
   — kjonhjk

December 10, 2003
Well, two things come to mind - one a "compliment" and the other an incident that just made me feel good. The compliment came from one of my coworkers (very thin herself) the other day - she said "you are so skinny" (which I'm not - but I'm sure I appear that way to them relative to what I was) - then she went on to tell me that another coworker of ours - who is very thin, very fit, and has never understood why those of us who are heavy can't "just diet and exercise" - has been saying wonderful things about me to everyone who will listen (she's always been very enthusiastic about my weight loss to my face, too, but to hear that she is volunteering this to other people is different). They all know about my surgery, but it just makes me feel good that this person is so enthusiastic for me and my weight loss, regardless of HOW it happened. The other incident occurred about a month ago when the matron of honor for my wedding and I were at the bridal store trying on dresses. They brought me a size 12 bustier and a size 12 slip. Top went on fine, but the slip - whoa! I got the top buttoned, but we knew even if we could zip it up, I would hardly be able to breathe. After some fiddling with it, we finally got smart and checked it out - they had accidentally brought me a size 4/5! The fact that I could snap it and mostly zip it up at all was a huge morale boost - I didn't think even my skelaton would fit into anything less than an 8, so that was very fun in a backwards sort of way. We laughed good and long from that one!
   — johanniter

December 10, 2003
I work in a long-term care facility, we have one male resident who gets around the facility quite a bit, and had a reputation of laughing (in approval) when nice looking women pass him buy. I noticed about a month ago he started doing this to me. I know some of the other women might be offened by it but it makes me smile when he does it. Next thing is back in early septmber when I had "only" lost about 60 pounds I was at a conference with a coworker. Her brother also works at the same facility and she told me she hadn't noticed how much weight I had lost until her brother had said something to her about how good I was looking. Now when I see him he will do a double take and will sometimes say "hi". The last thing is kind of derogitory but from my ex-husband it's a complement. I have been in the position of needing to find a new car, and when talking to him one night about cars I was going to test drive he said yeah now that you lost some of the wieght you have more options. This is from a man who left me partly because of my wieght and who since the surgery had not made one remark about my weight loss.
   — Beth E.

December 10, 2003
I find that I always still feel plus size even though society now considers me normal. I've been fortunate enough to get lots of wonderful comments and compliments from friends and family but one experience was particularly meaningful to me and really made me open my eyes. I was Christmas shopping last year with a very dear friend who was only a few days post op. I was already 2 years post op. I was looking for a special Christmas outfit and was griping because I wish I could be one of those cutesy size 6 people instead of a size 10. My friend looked at me with the most sincere expression and said "Rona, don't you realize there are thousands of women who would give anything to be your size?" I was overwhelmed and almost cried. It made me reevaluate always wanting to be smaller and helped me learn to be happy with my success. Another time I was unlocking my office at work and two older ladies passed behind me and I heard one say to the other "I remember what it used to be like to be as tiny as her". I just grinned from ear to ear - never having imagined myself as tiny. Isn't this fun???? Merry Christmas!
   — ronascott

December 10, 2003
It's funny how the simpliest thing can trigger the strongest reaction. I am a little over 3 months post op (that felt good to write) and my best friend and her husband came to spend thanksgiving with me. Ofcourse she knew about the surgery and had shared it with her husband. This was the first time they saw me post op and I really didn't expect a reaction because I hadn't lost a significant amount of weight. It was a couple of days after they left and she and I were talking did she mention that her husband said that I looked so pretty and that I would have to beat the guys off with a stick after loosing all my weight. And that my new problem would be to figure out the guys true intentions. I just never thought he saw me as a pretty person that could attract that kind of attention. It just felt nice to be thought of that way for a change.
   — vesta D.

December 10, 2003
one of my best ones, from the innocence of a child. My 5 yo grandson saw a picture of me preop and looked at it and said, oh that is a very old picture gramma. And then there is the friend of my husband who came over to pick him up for a football game, didn't recognize me until I talked to him, later told my husband that when he saw me he thought to himself that he didn't realize Mike (my husb) had 2 daughters. Not bad for a gramma huh! another of our friends ( have known for >25 years) didn't recognize me when we all met to go out one night, when he realzed it was me gave me a huge hug and prceeded to wildly flirt all night.
   — **willow**

December 10, 2003
Congratulations on your wonderful revelaton! I am a week and a half before surgery an dlook forward to times like that. :-)
   — catleth

December 10, 2003
Recently, I was at the radiologist's for my mammogram, when the technician noticed my RNY scar and asked what it was. I told her I'd had gastric bypass surgery, and her mouth dropped open? "Why?" she asked me earnestly, "would you need that? You're so tiny!"
   — AmyL

December 12, 2003
OMG!! THIS IS SO FUN I JUST FINISHED READING ALL OF THE POSTS GREAT STORIES....OK I HAVE TWO THAT ARE MY FAV, ONE IS I SENT MY HUBBY PICS OF ME RECENT ONES AT MY WEIGHT NOW TO IRAQ AND HE TOLD ME I AM GETTING TOO SMALL AND MAYBE I SHOULD STOP NOW...LOL...UH NO WAY I STILL HAVE 30 TO GO AND THE OTHER ONE HAPPENED THE OTHER DAY A WOMAN CAME OVER MY HOUSE FOR A HAIR CONSULTATION AND THOUGHT I WAS A CHILD...LOL SHE CALLED ME ITTY BITTY LIL THING...CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT??? I WAS LIKE I AM ALMOST 30 YEARS OLD SHE COULDN`T BELIEVE IT AND KEPT SAYING HOW TNY I AM....I SEE MYSELF EVERYDAY AND I AM NOT EVEN SLIM YET I HAVE A WAYS TO GO ON MY JOURNEY BUT IT DOES FEEL GOOD TO GET COMPLIMENTS, OH AND MY HUBBY ALSO LOOKED AT PICS FROM LAST YEAR AND SAID HE HAD NO IDEA I WAS THAT SIZE...LOL HE THOUGHT MAYBE IT WAS THE CAMERA I TOLD HIM HE WAS LOOKING AT ME THROUGH THE EYES OF LOVE...LOL HE REALLY DIDN`T THINK I WAS THAT BIG, AND NOW HE THINKS I AM GETTING TOO SMALL..GO FIGURE...LOL WHEN I DON`T FEEL FAT ANYMORE I WILL STOP TRYING TO LOSE UNTIL THEN.....KEEP ON KEEPING ON AMOS FAM, WHAT A COOL TOPIC LOVED THE STORIES, OK ONE MORE A TEENAGE BOY STOPPED ME IN THE GROCERY STORE AND ASKED ME OUT , I TOLD HIM I WAS MARRIED , HE SAID I AM SORRY I THOUGHT YOU WENT TO MY HIGHSCHOOL..HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I HAVE ALSO BEEN CARDED BUT I GOT CARDED WHEN I WAS HEAVY TOO I HAVE A BABY FACE....I HOPE IT WORKS FOR ME WHEN I HIT MY LATER YEARS...LOL C`YA,
   — nice n sweet B.

December 12, 2003
I just had surgery 8 weeks ago. And I don't see a change at all. I still haven't retired the pants I wore before surgery. But everyday someone is saying something. This is what was told to me just today by different people. I got--Hey Skinny!... You're gonna look like Marilyn Monroe (lol)... Everytime I see you, you are smaller!....Michelle, I can tell your tummy is getting smaller, cause your boobs are getting bigger (hahaha!!)...Michelle, Those pants give you droopy booty.. I still got a long way to go, and it's hard to take what people are telling me, But it still makes me feel pretty good. I can't wait till next year, and I'm giddy already. My 10 year high school reunion is in the summer. I've been 300+ pounds since high school. I can't wait to walk in all skinny and sexy and see their reactions!! I almost teared up reading some of these stories. I'm a happy crier. haha!! :) May your day be blessed! Michelle-10/13/03 425/350/200?
   — Michelle J.

December 12, 2003
This is great! yes, I had a similiar experience just last week. I joined an all-female gym and had decided to try out the low impact aerobic class. As I was working out, one of the ladies standing next to me asked me where I was teaching aerobic classes so that she could come to mine because I was so "in shape"! If she only knew this newly in-shape chick was 272 pounds this time last year! I just laughed and smiled and informed her that I wasn't an instructor, but thanked her for the compliment. Rochelle RNY 12/2/02-165 (down 107 lbs!)
   — ROCHELLE S.

December 12, 2003
Someone recently took a polaroid of me at a housewarming party. I held on to it, absentmindedly fanning it back and forth. A couple minutes later I glanced down at it by accident and GASPED OUT LOUD. Everybody turned to stare at me and I burst into hysterical laughter. That wasn't ME!!! Could it have been me???? I'm 3 months post op and down 77 pounds. It looked like my high school self has hijacked my image. Then, at Thanksgiving my fiance's grandmother and grandfather said hello to me sort of distractedly and I thought they were being rude. Later that afternoon, my fiance told me that when I left the room, they said, "Who was that girl you were talking to?" He and I have been together for five years. They've known me for four. He told them it was me and they didn't believe him. SO COOL. The best part was when my boyfriend lifted me up off the couch and twirled me around the room. I laughed like a drunken nut! Thanks for sharing these fabulous stories! XOXO Jen
   — jenpatalano

December 12, 2003
I work with a bunch of guys - manual labor - and before WLS I had always been able to hold my own - lifting, shoveling, etc. The other day I turned on the firehose that we use to wash down the floors and the force of the water knocked me down. Not enough weight behind it to control the hose anymore! Last week one of the guys grabbed me by the arm to pull me over to tell me something and lifted me clean off my feet - his new thing now is to sneak up behind me and pick me straight up off the ground - he says I don't weigh 'a sack of taters'! The bad part is when you see someone you haven't seen in a while and they ask if you are sick (cancer maybe, who knows?).
   — Cera H.

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