Question:
Your participation is required for this to work!
Not so much a question as a statement of fact. I am posting anonymously because I do not want the jealous pre-ops or post ops to flame me in to cinders. The point of this post is to let people know, THIS CAN HAPPEN TO YOU! I am almost 2 years post op and have fallen right back into my pre op eating patterns. Last night I ate 1/2 a medium Pizza Hut pizza with three toppings. I do not exercise, dont have the dumping syndrome and can eat anything I want and do. When you are told this surgery is just a tool, believe it. I guess I am lazy, call me what you want, it cant rival what I have called myself. The weight is creeping back on ( I am up 8 pounds) and I only lost 60% of my excess weight to begin with so at 60lbs lost out of a possible 100, I find myself again heading up the scales. To add insult to injury this is my second weight loss surgery (a failed VBG being the first) For the record I had an open rny with transected stomach. I get in the protein and water requirements but cant seem to make myself like exercise or take the time to do it. The natural response to this post would be to contact my doctor but let me tell you this, I already know what he is going to say and he is a man who doesnt like to see failures. I just dont want to hear it. What's the point of this message? I guess it's a warning to all those out there like me who dont want DO anything to make this surgery a success. I wanted to have the surgery and then sit back and wait for the pounds to fall off. I did not to participate, I wanted it to do the doing for me. Call me what you want I dont care, but there are others out there just like me and they need to hear this. Your participation is required! You need to work this program. If not, you could find yourself in the same mess as me. — [Anonymous] (posted on March 5, 2002)
March 5, 2002
Thank you for your honesty! I have been lucky so far. I have lost 90
pounds with little exercise on my part. Thanks for the wake up call!
— MARSHA D.
March 5, 2002
I don't think anyone has the right to bash you, because you are willing to
share your pain and lessons learned. There is not a person out there who
can "cast the first stone". I appreciate your honesty. It is a
good warning. As a pre-op I appreciate the reminder. When looking at photos
and reading journals a pre-op can get caught up in the "fantasy"
thinking that it is all going to just melt away. How successful you are
does not depend on the size of your stomach, butin the end, depends on what
you are willing to put into it. Thanks again.
— Cheryl S.
March 5, 2002
Wow...thanks for such a brutally honest post. For what it's worth though,
8lbs. is a lot less daunting that 50 or 100. Can you put the brakes on
now? From what I understand, WLS makes it somewhat easier to feel
satisfied/full, but it is up to us to continue to make the
"right" choices and do all that stuff naturally thin people do...
I am pre-op and really appreciated this input. I will definitly take your
advice to heart...
— rebeccamayhew
March 5, 2002
Well, I don't think this post is unreasonable at all, and I hope no one
flames you. Your message is an important one. This is definitely not a
procedure for people who aren't ready to make massive changes in their
lifestyle! I too am one who doesn't like exercise. I have a terrible time
sticking with things. What I've been doing this time around is trying
different sports in search of one that I love. Just walking or jogging
isn't enough to get me motivated. Currently I'm taking horseback riding
lessons and I believe that may be the one that keeps me coming back. And
yes, in addition to the exercise, a person must constantly be aware of what
and how much they are eating.
— BlueGray
March 5, 2002
You're absolutely right! I'm so sorry this is happening to you, but what
you are saying is very true and needs to be said. I cringe when I see
people post "so-many pounds gone forever!" That's just not true
for the majority. Usually, it's years 3-5 that the revelation comes that
we are going to have to work at this. However, it is much easier now than
it was before to follow a healthy eating plan, so use the tool as it was
meant to be used, and don't ever think of yourself as a failure. Obesity
is a disease, not a test.
— Leslie F.
March 5, 2002
First of all, thank you so much for posting and with such honesty. I
believe that you are being really hard on yourself and in my opinion,
you've got to start looking at yourself in a more positive mode. So you
binged a bit - at least you recognized. You were brave enough to get to
the point of the surgery (twice) and your recognizing the problem before it
gets too out of hand. 60% of the extra weight is still a lot !! It's not
too late - I believe I'd be trying to do some soul searching to see what
else could be going on. Are you happy in your relationships? Do you have
childhood issues that could be creeping up and biting you in the behind?
How about an ex-relationship. There is so much more that hinders us than
we may realize. My ex-husband was extremely abusive - he put me in the
hospital many, many times - a few of those in ICU and while pregnant with
my child. Thank God, she came out fine and I left him when she was
6-months old (she is now almost 20 years old). What I have found through
intense soul searching is that some of the most profound ingrained thoughts
about myself were normally put there by someone else (be it my ex-husband
or someone else). They say that when a person is knocked unconscious, the
subconscious or super conscious is still working and listening, if you
will. I've caught myself looking at myself in the mirror so intensely and
pathetically that it makes me quiver. Those thoughts weren't mine - they
were his or other people's. It's taken a hell of a long time to get clear
all the bullsh_t that other people have put upon my platter. I am not
blaming anyone - I have taken responsibility for my own actions and
behavior and I know that I must have stuck around all of it for some
reason...be it a lesson still needing to be learned, a test of faith or a
blessing in disguise - meant to be there for me to know exactly what I
don't want in my future. You can change whatever you want, friend ~ you
really can. You recognize a problem and that's the first step. I can tell
you from my own personal problems - I'm close to 350 pounds right now and
I'm absolutely miserable. I can't sit for too long of periods of time, I
can't breath properly, I can't make love to my husband as I'd like to, I
can't walk without being out of breath, my feet hurt, my legs hurt - you
know the routine. Think back to your highest weight and remember clearly
how bad it hurts - if nothing else will help you to get back on track, that
might.
I was told in a pre-op group session from one of the post-op patients - she
said that we would certainly have bad days and even bad weeks after the
surgery. She said that what she recommended the pre-op patients to do is
keep a log of some of their worst days before surgery. Write in detail how
we're feeling emotionally, mentally, spiritually and especially physically.
She said to write down some good days as well using the same technique.
She did this exact thing and after surgery, she had some really crummy
times but she said after writing it down in the same fashion, she saw that
even her most crummy days were better than her good days and it gave her
hope to go on.
I wish you the best of luck and forgive the novel this has turned into.
— [Anonymous]
March 5, 2002
Hi, I like brutally honest people. And your post was brutally honest, and
well needed for this site. Number one, yes for all those getting this
surgery done or just starting out post op, this is a tool, and for tools to
work, they have to used properly. At first the intital weight loss will
blow you away, or at least mine did, but then reality sits in, you have to
watch what your doing. I have lost A LOT of weight, and have 65lbs more to
go, and if I don't stay on a low carb "diet", yes I said diet, I
will not lose and start to gain. So basically , even though this surgery
made it easier for me to stick with the "diet", I'm still in the
same boat I was before WLS. It's not a fix all. If you want to get to
goal, you have to WORK. Now some people may not have to "diet",
and they will get to goal and maybe even below, but for those of us who
have been on a million yo yo diets, with messed up metabolisms, it's a
fact, you cannot eat whatever you want. Maybe at first, but anyone that
just eats crap all the time, and goes back to their old habits, will
eventually go back to their old self, just as the poster of this question
stated. This surgery was way tooo inconvenient in the pain, hospital
stay, and just in general to ever go back to the way I was, so I work it
GIRL!!! AS for you, the poster of this statement. You know what your
doing wrong, and I am in no way burning you, but you have gone through two
surgeries, that is A LOT. You know what your doing is wrong, and your
sabotaging yourself. You know that. Who gives a crap if your doc hates
failures, you need to talk with him, or a nutritionist. You are not a
failure, your a human, and we all fall off the wagon. You just need to get
back on. 8lbs is not that much, not worth beating yourself up over, but a
little warning that you will end up the way you were. WLS is a tool, and
even though you are 2 years out, you can still reclaim that tool, and use
it to the best of it's ability. I hope that even though you are down on
yourself about this, that you will do whatever it takes to get back on the
right track..
— [Anonymous]
March 5, 2002
I've dropped around 120 and I think I was getting a little cocky. Thanks
for the yank on the chain.
— Chuck O.
March 5, 2002
I've dropped around 120 and I think I was getting a little cocky. Thanks
for the yank on the chain.
— Chuck O.
March 5, 2002
What an excellent post! I am so sorry you are going through this. But don't
beat yourself up, nobody's perfect, and guess what you're not too late. I
have heard of several long term post-op's in your situation who turned
around. Try and get a copy of pouch rules for Dummies. If you follow them,
the weight will start dropping. You are already a step ahead in that you
know where you are going wrong and you can admit it. On a more personal
note, I really apreciated your post, because I have found myself getting
lazy in regard to exercise, so this has kind of given me the kick in the
butt I needed. But don't give up... you've come so far, and have lost a LOT
of weight, there's no reason to stop now! You go for it!!!! And stop
beating yourself up. Give yourself a big hug for me!
— Deborah W.
March 5, 2002
Dear Anonymous Poster... Now that you've had the surgery, you need to deal
with the problems that got you into obesity in the first place. And you
can't do it alone!!!! I have never, ever, ever met anyone who had a serious
problem who sucessfully cured it alone!!! Are you a compulsive eater? If
so, you need Overeaters Anonymous. It's a wonderful, wonderful supportive
organization. Do you need exercise. (sounds like you do.) If so, find an
exercise class that you really love and tell a couple of people in the
class that you need them to help keep you honest. I tried boxing and loved
it. Unfortunately, the class was canceled. (ugh!!!) What I'm trying to say
is that you have to take responsibility for your own recovery. WLS is just
a tool, as you said. The rest is up to you and you'll need help. Please,
please, please reach out to someone to give you that help. You've come too
far to turn back now! (and don't go near a Pizza Hut again!!!)
— Mariee H.
March 5, 2002
Thanks for the honesty. It sounds like though you know what you need to do.
SO practice what you preach. If you will find a walking buddy, you will
form a habit and may even really like it. Look at it as time for yourself.
We all have to little of that. Surely there is someone in your area that
has had this surgery too. Find them, they can understand how you feel
better than anyone who has not been through the same thing. Then agree to
motivate each other. You CAN do it, if you really want to. Whatever you do
don't give up. If all else falls, ask God for the strength you need. He is
always there for you. Youv'e come to far, and been through to much to give
up. You are more than wlcome to email me. I won't ride your case...will
only try to help and encourage. Maybe we live close enough together we can
meet. (and walk) LOL We are all one big WLS family, and no matter how you
feel or what you are going through, someone has been there too. Try us out.
We will try to help you, but start by relizing you are worth the effort.
There are so many people out there who want and need the same chance you
have been given. They would do almost anything for that chance. Don't throw
yours away. Please get a hold of me. I'd love to talk. Hope to hear from
you soon.
Danielle
— DANIELLE P.
March 5, 2002
Thanks for your honesty. I am a year post-op (today!) and am finding I can
eat more and more. I have no intention of failing, however. I have lost
166 lbs. so far and have been working out at the gym 4 times a week for the
last 9 months. I generally try to keep my intake around 1500 calories/day,
even though I am sure I could eat more if I really wanted to be my own
worst enemy. What you are describing in your post is self-destructive
behavior. It's like you're willing yourself to fail. Surgery cannot fix
your mind, and it looks like you've got a lot of other issues you've got to
work out before you can ever get thin. Firstly, why are you binging? Why
aren't you exercising? Why aren't you giving this surgery a chance? I
don't mean to bash on you -- I know we're all human -- but you need to work
with this surgery, not against it!
— Terissa R.
March 5, 2002
I'm joining the many pre-ops and saying thank you for your honesty...we
need it. Please don't blame yourself or beat yourself up over this. I have
FINALLY learned, after too many years of worrying too much about what other
people thought, that I am indeed my own worst critic. No one is ever harder
on us than we are on ourselves. Forgive yourself for this setback and move
on from it. Learn and move on. Also, sometimes changing bad habits DOES
require evaluating your relationships. Not just your relationship with
people, but with food as well. I've only recently come to terms with the
fact that I have a love/hate relationship with food. Sometimes it can be my
best friend and other times my worst enemy. The key is to finally realize
that food is not a friend, it is simply a substance to help our bodies gain
the fuel and nutrients we need. Sorry, I don't mean to sound like I'm
preaching. I do wish you the best. E-mail me if you'd like to talk
sometime. - Anna
— Anna L.
March 5, 2002
I also want to thank you for your post. I'm almost 9 months post-op, and
I'm struggling to get off these last 50 lbs. I do exercise, however some
days I find myself going back to my old eating habits. Well, as much as I
can anyway. So your comments are just the kick in the pants I
needed!<br><br>One thing that I recently found out at my local
support group meeting--there was a woman there who had her surgery 18
months ago. She also has been able to eat more. Our surgeon transects, so
a staple line disruption probably isn't why she's able to eat more. She
saw our surgeon, and he told her this: when he performed her surgery, he
used something like "gristle" at the bottom of her pouch (he now
uses a salysilic ring). He said that this "gristle" that he used
is now coming loose, so that's why she's able to eat more. The food is
emptying into her intestines much faster, as if she had been drinking while
she eats. It's just another one of those things for us post-ops to worry
about. BUT, is it possible
for this to be happening to you? Something to look in to anyway...I wish
you all the luck in the world.
— Becky H.
March 5, 2002
This one of the best threads I have ever read. Everone was so honest and
supportive of the Brave Poster. My only thought is that you may be
suffering depression. Maybe the Doc can give you some help with this. If
you are not taking meds, you may need to. If you are, you may need to
increase. Whatever you do, we love you and appreciate your honesty.
— faybay
March 5, 2002
Hi, you are a brave person. And a very loving and open one. I am glad
that I seen your post. I am five months out and down 71 lbs. I dont'
exercise alot. But I do it moderaltley. But I can't say I do regular
exercise. I have four children and every night around 6 we
"DANCE" we dance our little buts off. I also started doing some
sit ups. No big lot of them but I do a couple at a time. I started out
with one sit up and now can do 7-10 at a time. I run in place for around a
minute and then do 20 jumping jacks. A little goes a long way. Just try
it. You will see you will enjoy it a little.
Good luck and God bless.
Tonya
— TONYA B.
March 5, 2002
I admire your bravery. I see so many times that pre-ops ask questions that
you address in your post. And, sadly no one is brave enough to respond with
the raw truth (including myself). I too needed this wake up call. At 6
months post-op and -110 lbs I find myself getting "cocky" as
another poster said. I find that I am testing my limits - and finding out
that I can eat the "evil" foods that got me here in the first
place. This is definitley a TOOL - and is surgery on our stomach not our
brains. I can't Thank You enough for your courage and bravery - I truly
admire you.
— Staci P.
March 5, 2002
First, I also applaud your post. It takes a great deal of courage to be
that honest about your situation. Something that struck me as I read the
posts was the issue of exercise. We have a tendency to think of exercise
in terms of walking a lot or maybe going to the gym. A very wise friend of
mine, who has beat back her own overeating, said she finally quit trying to
exercise and just did things she enjoyed doing, physically. She plays
tennis and rides her bike when the weather allows, among other things. The
point is not to think of it in terms of 'exercise'. Think of it in terms
of finding something that gets your heart rate up and that you enjoy.
Hiking, swimming, bike riding, roller blading, martial arts, kick boxing.
I'm sure others can add to this list. I sincerely hope that you can get
yourself back on track. Good luck to you.
— garw
March 5, 2002
You are my hero. Thank you SOOOOO much for such a brave and honest post.
I'm pre-op and really needed to hear that this surgery is not a miracle
cure for everything that ails me. Part of the reason I'm MO is that I hate
exercise, so I know post-op I'm either going to have to spend a lot of time
doing something I hate to do or I'm going to have to find some type of
activity that I enjoy. I remember when I was very young (before Obesity set
in) I used to love to swim so I'll probably try to start that again, also
I've always wanted to learn to dance and horseback ride so there are 2 more
ways to burn calories and keep my mind off food. I have no intention of
having this surgery just to be miserable doing exercise I don't enjoy or
reverting to my old habits of entertaining myself with food.
"Exercise" does not have to be working out at the gym or jogging,
anything that requires you to move your body even a little bit will be
beneficial, not to mention if it keeps you away from the Pizza Hut.
Someone like you who is insightful enough to recognize the truth of his/her
situation, and brave enough to put it out there for all the world to see
obviously has the strength and conviction to overcome any problem you put
your mind to. I have complete faith in your ability to overcome this
hurdle and I, like everyone else who responded to you will be more then
willing to offer any support or help I can. Please feel free to email me
if I can do anything at all to help you. Good Luck and God Bless.
— Elva C.
March 6, 2002
THANK YOU!!!! I'm approaching 6 months since my RNY, have lost 104 lbs. and
have done well so far. HOWEVER, I find myself at the point where I can eat
almost everything I could before surgery, in much smaller portions. I don't
dump very easily and have been tempted to graze. I couldn't eat half a
pizza all at once, but if I wanted to I could eat it throughout the day a
piece at a time. Excersize, protein powder and endless sipping of water are
becoming boring. I can see how easy it would be from this point forward to
slowly drift back to my old way of living. Your post serves as a wake-up
call to not become complacent and slip back into my former eating habits
that made me MO in the first place. Thank you so much for your honesty!
— Bobbie B.
March 6, 2002
I am the orginal poster of this message and I want to thank everyone for
the postive responses. I really didnt expect the outpouring of kindness.
You would think it would inspire me but I am still struggling... and still
scared. It's the same feeling I had after a successful period of Weight
Watchers. When the weight began to creep back on, I felt as if I were a
failure. That feeling is coming back. However, I did stumble upon a
statement which helped me a little. When I find myself wanted to binge I
say to myself "what's eating me?" Yes, my personal life is going
through a hard time right now but I guess that was my point. Being thinner
will not garantee everything else in your life will magically be better.
You will still have stuggles and pain and if you went to food for comfort
you may find you will again. Especially after a couple years and all the
newness of being thin wears off. Trust me, there will be a time when you
dont compulsively shop for new clothes. I hope my post has been helpful to
those who felt cured of food compulsions. Again, I thank you for the tender
mercies sent my way.
— [Anonymous]
March 8, 2002
You are so right. At 3 yrs post op I fell back into old habits, eating all
day (grazing) back into sugar, not exercising. By year 5 I had regained 64
lbs. Rude awakening to be over 300 lbs again.(Started at 463). I saw 500
lbs coming like a speeding train. I had to take responsibility for what I
do every day and what goes in my mouth. I reset my dump-o-meter and to this
day still dump. I am living proof that you can turn this around. I lost
that 64 lbs plus made it to goal. I will be 8 yrs post op, proximal rny on
3/31/02.
Hang in there and JUST DO IT!!!!
rita in vermont rny 3/31/94 463 lbs today maintaining a size 10/12 dress -
sm/med blouse.
— vt_rita
September 8, 2003
S/he is so right. I am over 2 years out. At about 2 years I started
regaining. I am a promiximal (60 cm) bypassed RNY. I gained 13 pounds in
just 3 months. What I have learned, (unfortunately isn't a coincidence) is
that I still have to watch my calories and diet. I had hoped I could be
"normal", but I'm not. I'm an obese person with a disease. I have
to watch every single calorie that goes into my mouth. It's really about
the math. I used to think (when I was 282) that I didn't eat very much. I
was fooling myself, I ate about 3000 calories a day. I have learned
(through fitday.com) that I only burn about 2400 calories a day. So of
course I gained weight. Now I make sure to eat under 1200 calories a day to
get back to my ideal weight. The good news is that with my "tool"
I've been able to loose 6 of the 13 pounds (I know pre-ops, it sounds like
nothing, when you're where I am, you will know what I'm talking about),
within the last month.
I did it by re-training my body for only protien, cutting out carbs
altogether. It works. Carbs make us fat. Hate them. I am trying to learn to
hate crackers right now, and will try to hate all sugar (easier due to
substitutes) later.
Here's my advice: Carbs make you fat. Hate them. Love yourself.
Sounds weird, but works. Love,
— sandieguy
September 9, 2003
I realize this is an old post, but I'm so glad that I saw it today; I'm 3
weeks post-op today and I'm so grateful that you had the courage to post
this for us. It's through experiences like yours that we learn life's
hardest lessons. I'm so sorry you've experienced this and hope you're
doing better now. Thank you so much for reaching out to us and telling us
what could happen if we think of this surgery as a "magic cure"
instead of a "tool".
— Moysa B.
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