Question:
What is a good response to "You don't need to lose anymore"
Hi all, I had my surgery on 5/9/02 and I'm down 100lbs. I weigh 140 but look much thinner. Most of my friends and family are starting to say "You don't need to lose anymore weight". There is no way that I am going to try and gain weight on purpose. How do I respond to my friends and family? Thank you for your response. — Lynn E. (posted on December 26, 2002)
December 26, 2002
I am having the same problem. I am 5'3" & down to 126. I am sick
of hearing that I am to skinny now. I had surgery with Wongsa as well,
congrats on your success. I am looking forward to hearing these responses.
— kary1026
December 26, 2002
Don't you love to hear those comments, especially when you were so heavy?
I love to hear it. I guess I can't get tired of hearing it.
— dolphins94
December 26, 2002
I haven't had my surgery yet, (jan 10th, 03!!)but I have heard my family
comment on other women that we know that have had the procedure and lost
100+lbs. They say things like, "she's too skinny, she looks ill."
My doctor told me that I could get as low as 114lbs. and still have a BMI
of 25 (healthy range). You can tell them that you feel great and according
to a "health care" professional you are in a safe and healthy
weight range. Good luck, I can't "weight" to hear those comments,
I'll smile and say, "you don't know how great that sounds coming from
you."
— Wendy K.
December 26, 2002
Just thank them for their concern and go ahead and do whatever you feel is
right to do.I have not had the surgery yet(Jan 15th here I come) but I have
a friend who is post-op. It is a real surprise how many "well
meaning" people try to sabotage her weight loss. Makes you wonder what
some folks do for entertainment! Sheesh! A dear aunt of mine told me once,
"Whenever I give you advice just tell me thanks and go on your merry
way. I'll feel as if I've done something just giving it to you and you can
choose to keep it or toss it. I won't be any the wiser!" That was
excellent advice. I follow it to this day! Good luck!
— Joy A.
December 26, 2002
I started to hear this at about 150 pounds. I have a much higher lean body
mass than I used to so am much smaller at a higher weight. I just said
thank you for your concern but I am working with a dr and plan to follow
his advice. They can't argue with the dr. BUT just make sure you DO follow
his advice. If I were to weigh what the insurance company thinks I should I
would actually have an unhealthy percentage of body fat and cause myself
some medical problems. Since my goal was to be healthy, not thin, I try to
keep myself in a healthy range for the amount of muscle I carry. Isn't it
funny how you trade one problem for the other? LOL Sometimes you wonder
about folks . . .
— ctyst
December 26, 2002
When you were at a top weight, all you got was sneers and looks, right?
Like mind your own business!!! Seriously, only you know what is enough to
lose, where you are healthy and comfortable. LAP-RNY on October 8, 2002 and
down 60. More to go. Good luck to you!!
— Steve B.
December 26, 2002
Hi....I am going through this as we speak. I had Lap RNY on Jan 15th
2002....I am now at 132. EVeryone says I am getting too thin...that I'm
gonna blow away. Because I cannot "see" what I really look like
in the mirror, I ask my husband and he say I am looking great. I think it
is the fact that we have lost this weight relatively fast and they are used
to us being morbidly obese and now we are thin. Keep your chin up!!
— hawk4life
December 26, 2002
I'm very short and started out at 319! (Was 123 in high school). Once I got
down to around 210 my family and some friends said I SHOULD STOP! Heck no!
I want 129 if at all possible. I now fluxuate from 160-168 and I'm still
very heavy for my small frame(5' 2 1/2). I'm almost 20 months post op and
despartly want to lose another 30 or so pounds. I'm lucky if I can lose two
pounds a month now but I'm NOT giving up. This is "my body" and
"I'll know" when the time is "right" to stop losing.
And the time IS'NT right yet. ;) You will have to "politely" and
"gently" let them know that you will know when the time is right
to stop losing.
— Danmark
December 26, 2002
i get the same dang thing lol.....i just laugh at them ...
— Deanna Wise
December 26, 2002
I get the same thing. However, when I tell them how much I weigh, there
always shocked. They think I weigh about 20 pounds less then my real
weight. They normally keep quiet after that. However, I have found that I
do look a little skeletal in my chest area so I thought it was a good time
to stop losing weight. Sometimes, we don't "see" what our new
bodies REALLY look like and we REALLY might be too thin.
— Patty H.
December 26, 2002
I get the same thing. However, when I tell them how much I weigh, there
always shocked. They think I weigh about 20 pounds less then my real
weight. They normally keep quiet after that. However, I have found that I
do look a little skeletal in my chest area so I thought it was a good time
to stop losing weight. Sometimes, we don't "see" what our new
bodies REALLY look like and we REALLY might be too thin.
— Patty H.
December 26, 2002
i have many rude things i would love to say (if i am ever in this
posistion, which i can not even fathom!) how about simply saying "my
goodness i would never dream of comenting on YOUR weight!" or
"well, how nice that i have now have your openion, i'll go by what my
doctor says thank you" or "really? i was just thinking that you
needed to stop gaining weight!" or perhaps burst out laughing and say
"oh sure, pull the other one while you are at it!" or "how
nice it is that you feel close and freindly enough to me to make such a
personal comment" or simply respond by saying "yes well you need
to face a face lift, so we all have things we need to do don't we?" or
"Please do not comment on my skinny butt i would never comment on your
baggy eyelids! it might hurt your feelings!" guess it would depend on
who it was and how they said it! perhaps the best lest offensive coment
would be "really, me too thin? thank you for noticing me!" ;o)
— janetc00
December 26, 2002
hi there :) i started at 370, now down to 198. im 5 9 so eveyone thinks i
weigh less than that. id love to lose another 50 lbs but just recently a
cousin told me that if i lost anymore he wouldnt be able to see me. hehehe
(ya right) well it was good to hear though! :)
— carrie M.
December 26, 2002
Thank you for your concern. My doctor & I are working on this
together.
.
How can they argue with that? There is no "opinion"
expressed..... just that you & doc are on it. YOU know if you're happy
or want to lose more. My family wanted me to stop 40# from where I needed
to be! I argued at first, then just let it go. It was THEIR opinion, so I
let them have it. LOL! Their opinions, that is. And I kept mine. To
myself, once I learned.
— vitalady
December 26, 2002
before surgery, people were probably telling you that you needed to lose
some weight. now they're telling you to quit. Why listen to them? Just
do what you want -- whatever makes you happy. that's what really counts!
— Iris B.
December 26, 2002
When I get to that point, I plan to tell them, "THIS is a decision
that's between my nutritionist, my surgeon, and ME!!!" :)
— britsa4
December 29, 2002
Just say, "Thank you", smile, and don't try to argue with them!
Then do whatever the hell you want to do! We don't have to convince people
to agree with us. People are just starting to tell me that I don't need to
lose any more weight. Of course, at this point, they're not being pushy.
I just say, "Thanks!, it feels good to have lost the weight."
Then we move on in the conversation.
— Kathy J.
December 29, 2002
Sometimes I wonder why people can't just learn to keep their mouths shut.
You'd never say to someone "you know, you really don't need to GAIN
anymore weight, you're too fat NOW."
— Goldilauxx B.
December 29, 2002
Well, my answer is a bit different than many others. First of all- it is
important to consider who is saying it. Is it a so called friend who might
be worried that you will look thinner and grander than her? She may be used
to always looking better than you. Is it jealousy? Or is it old Aunt Sally
or your nosey neighbor saying it. You know they Gossip about everyone and
his brother. It's what helps them get up in the mornings. Or is it from
your mom or another family member who you love and trust their opinions.
This could mean that there is room for concern or perhaps it is time you
spent some time with them and shared your feelings and goals and explained
what your doctor has to say. Some people are truly concerned because they
love you and they deserve your honesty and respect. Also, you must remember
that due to the rapid weight loss- Often times a person can looked somewhat
aged- Maybe this has them worried. I heard it is normally short lived. It
has to do with muscle tone and your skin. And it will be resolved. It just
takes a little time.
— Donna L.
December 29, 2002
Yeah I looked really old at -110 pounds in 6 months. Kinda looked like I
was dying, but felt great. My friends were getting scared. After bottoming
out my appearance gradually improved. We arent used to seeing people loose
so much weight so fast and this freaks folks. They are likely just
concerned for your safety. Although one buddy of mine told his dad. If he
keeps loosing like this he will end up weighing less than me. His dad
advised he go on a diet. Dave did loose a lot. Sadly today he must be
heavier than he started, and now probably would qualify BMI wise fir WLS.
He was close when I had surgery. <P> So a few may be jealous but most
are just concerned...
— bob-haller
Click Here to Return