Question:
A friend told me I was too old for this surgery.
I ran into an old friend today and as usual, in trying to explain away how I have gained this much weight, revealed to her how I am trying everything in my power to have gastric bypass. Her response was "Aren't you too OLD for that surgery" and basically was telling me why bother now at this age-you've been fat most of our adult lives...I was at a loss for words!! How do you handle people like this??? I am ONLY 42!! — doit 2. (posted on May 28, 2003)
May 27, 2003
Sometimes there are no answers for dumb questions. But, I believe you are
too young to be an invalid from obesity and it's co morbidities.
— faybay
May 27, 2003
I wouldn't listen to your friend "unless" she is the same age as
you, the same size as you, has your comorbs., and the same doctor as you,
and HE himself told her she's to old to have the surgery. (Even then I
would still question it). With that being said, good luck to you, just keep
in mind this is for you and no one else.
— Laydie K.
May 27, 2003
I had a revision from a 20 year old VBG to RNY on May 9, 2002 and I was 45
years old. I came through surgery with flying colors despite being in
fairly poor health. Your friend has the same problem many others seem to
have - she's uninformed and talking from the top of her head while
repeating rumors that she's heard. Heck, she may even had made that little
tidbit up, thinking you MUST be too old.
My advice to you, for what it's worth, is to ONLY talk to people who are
either professionals in the field of bariatrics surgery or to people who
have "been there, done that". I refused to discuss the details
with people who had never had weight problems because they just didn't
understand. Once the ole, "why not try just one more diet" topic
came up I would politely excuse myself and leave the conversation. I had
tried to change the topic but it always came right back to the surgery and
why I shouldn't have it. It's just much easier for me to leave em standing
there. Good luck with your decision. I wish I had done this at 42 instead
of 45. I would have had an extra 3 years of freedom.
— Vicki H.
May 27, 2003
What does she mean too old? I was 62 when I had my rny on 4/15/02. I feel
better than I have in years. I'm down 141 pounds and 88 inches.
Judy
— Judy S.
May 27, 2003
Too OLD!!!! Why spend the next 50 years of your life miserable? I was 51
when I had my surgery, and am looking forward to years I have added to my
life. Good Grif, they are ladies has old as 65 who have had surgery. Sounds
like your friend is too old for change.
— bbjnay
May 27, 2003
I was 42 when I had mine. Some doctors do 'limit' their patients to age
'55'.
— star .
May 27, 2003
I am 50 and will be 51 on 6/23 and I have 9 days to go until my WLS. I want
to live to get much older . . . Swettie your still a babe! Good Luck!
Michele :)
— Michele D.
May 27, 2003
I suggest your "old friend" has the intellect and human
understanding normally associated with a sack of hammers. I was 56. Hang in
there.
— Chuck O.
May 27, 2003
Too old? I am a 51 year old male who is 12 days post op and have lost a
total of 32 lbs. Figure that. Sounds to me that your friend is just
jealous
— Gene F.
May 27, 2003
Jean, I'm 52 and 5 weeks post. Ask your fried when is it to add 20 years to
your life! My Dr.'s age limit is 74. Tell her to pull her head out of the
sand. A real friend supports not discourages! Hang in there you are not to
old.
— Barbara S.
May 27, 2003
— Jazzy
May 27, 2003
You are not too old! I am pre-op and I'm 41. My brother had this surgery
in Feb 2002 and he turned 50 last year. He has lost 285 pounds! It's a
good thing no one told him he was too old! Don't you dare get discouraged
by these lunkheads! Keep on going, sister.
— Tammyjo
May 27, 2003
You are not too old!!!!!! I am 56 and had surgery this year. I decided
that even if i have only a few years left, i do not want to live my life
out obese and be buried in a piano box! I want to enjoy what i do have left
and i am doing fine. There are others well into their sixties, that have
had this surgery. Go for it and lose the friend!!!!!
— Delores S.
May 27, 2003
How do you handle this???...you don't!! It isnt worth the argument. Today
at 50+ I feel better than ever and plan to make the next 50 the best ever!!
I've left all of my pre op naysayers biting the dust!!!
— Denise W.
May 27, 2003
GOOD MORNING I'M 56 YEARS OLD AND I HAD MY SURGERY 2-3-03 I'M DOING GREAT
AND HAVE LOST 60 POUNDS AND FEELING LIKE I AM 40 AGAIN. DON'T LET ANYONE
DISCOURAGE YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOUR HEAD AND HEART ARE TELLING YOU, IF YOUR
DOCTOR CLEARS YOU AND YOU KNOW IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO GO FOR IT. I
HAD HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE DIABETES AND LOTS OF OTHER PROBLEMS AND I'M DOING
GREAT, WHAT IS WORSE DYING FROM FAT SMOTHERING YOUR HEART OR TAKING THE
PROBLEM IN HAND AND DEALING WITH WHAT IS GOING TO GIVE YOU YOUR LIFE BACK.
TAKE CARE, HUGS CAROL
— Carol B.
May 27, 2003
Some people are just ignorant! It still amazes me that people just say
whatever they want with no thought to how they make us feel. But I do have
to admit that when my brother had his RNY, I thought he was taking the easy
way out.... you know all the garbage the ignorant say.... that was me. Boy
did I have egg on my face. A little over a year after my brother, I had
surgery and WOW what a life changer! My point is that you will hear alot
of negative comments from now and even after surgery, but the ones that
take time to find out what this is are the true friends anyways, so when
people make rude comments, just remember that they just don't know what
this surgery really is. The old by-pass procedures they used to do were
much more dangerous and had more side-effects, so they probably refer to
that when comments are made. Good luck! And hopefully you run into this
gal when you are down 100 lbs., see how she re-acts to your AGE then! LOL!
— Dana B.
May 27, 2003
Your old friend needs a new attitude. It's all about attitude! 42 is NOT
OLD at all! Heck girlie, you're in your prime. You'll be one of the great
success stories and she'll be pea green with envy. Don't have surgery for
that reason of course, do it for yourself. The envy of other,
non-supportive folks is just the bonus :o - Anna LAP RNY 7/3/02 -126lbs.
— Anna L.
May 27, 2003
I had surgery at 41 and beleive I am a healthier than was I was 31!
Go for it-
— ~~Stacie~~
May 28, 2003
I was 40 when I had this surgery and I know someone else who was 54. Your
not to old for the surgery. Good luck.
— Sue F.
May 28, 2003
Hi, A suggested way to handle them is by asking them where they did they
research and can they provide you a copy of the research that gave them
such an opinion. I had Lap RNY 8 weeks ago and I am 43, my mother-in-law
had it 5 weeks ago and she is 64. Without it, it was doubtful that she
would hit 66. Her insurance didn't think she was too old either, they paid
in full. Best of luck..
— M B.
May 28, 2003
Friend?!? It's a good thing you two don't get together more often!LOL
There must be something very negative in her personality to say something
like that. Also, if I ran into any old "friends" at my current
weight (pre-op), I would hope they would feel sympathetic instead of asking
me to explain how I'd gotten this way. Stick with us posters, we love ya!
:o) Mea P.S. I will most likely be 40 when I have my surgery :o)
— Mea A.
May 28, 2003
How do you handle people like this? - have surgery, lose a bunch of weight,
look and feel years younger! I had surgery at age 46. You are NOT too
old! Disregard this nay-sayer! Maybe she has given up on losing weight
and thinks you should,too. I feel sorry for her and anyone else who thinks
they are too old (at 42) to have WLS. They are missing out on a lot of
life! Good for you for going for it - I wish all the best in your journey!
— koogy
May 28, 2003
Too old? Oh, okay, then ... at 44, I'll just go pull the blankets over my
head and wait for it all to end. Looks like there will be a lot of us
under there, laughing our butts off at your friend's comment!<P>Gee,
when I had the surgery at the age of 43 (carbon-date me!! whadda
dinosaur!), I was thinking that I didn't want to end up housebound (if not
dead altogether) from morbid obesity before reaching age 50. A year later,
and 130 pounds down, I can now run four miles. This is a good thing,
'cause I haven't run into any boy scouts offering to walk my ancient
personage across the street lately. ;-)<P>What a silly comment! This
definitely goes into the "you're my friend because ...???" Hall
'O Shame!
— Suzy C.
May 28, 2003
The simple answer... You may be too OLD to have the surgery, but you're too
YOUNG to die if you don't!!! Seems like an easy decision to make.
— dkinson
May 28, 2003
Did you call her a "friend"? I would re-categorize her if I were
you!
— Amy A.
May 28, 2003
Tell her you want it so that you can live another 42 years! I wonder where
she got the idea that 40's was too old for this surgery? Why don't you ask
her...what does she know that you don't?
— Cindy R.
May 28, 2003
I think I might have been tempted to smack her in back of da head, but that
might just be because I've been of my Zoloft for a few days! LOL My
co-worker had the surgery when she was 55, and she looks and feels great!
She had NO problems what-so-ever, and she has totally been my inspiration
for getting this done myself. I'm happy to say I'm approved and hope to
have surgery around August 20th. My opinion...it's never too late to be
reborn! Good Luck and God Bless!
— Moysa B.
May 28, 2003
Jean, Jean, Jean. It is to laugh. Tell that ditzball "Aren't you too
old to be SO STUPID?!?" (Sorry but I tell it like it is! ;o) [PS
Chuck O'Brien--loved your response]. Take care, Jean, and go for it!!!
-----Joyce C, 4 months post RNY, -65 lbs and a veritable FOSSIL at 41 years
old.
— Joyce C.
May 28, 2003
You mean, I've had 9 years I wasn't entitled to because I was too old to
have surgery at 44? Shoot. Where do I go to give them back so I can set
things to right? I think your freind is right. I shoulda died at 44, with
my family watching. Cuz that'd serve me right for "letting myself get
so fat", wouldn't it?
— vitalady
May 28, 2003
HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!! I think (from my personal observation) that most of the
people attempting to have this surgery are in their 40-50's. I've only met
a handful of people under 30. Tell your friend to DO SOME RESEARCH! LOL!
42 is not old. (I'm 22) You deserve to be healthy just as much as anyone
else does, regardless of age. So you just do what you feel is right. Hey,
maybe she's jealous that you'll be looking younger then her soon.
— Renee B.
May 28, 2003
You aren't too old. I have gone to 2 different seminars and all say it's
ok up to 62 then after that they consider it on a case by case basis. Go
for it, if this is what you want for you. Tell these people that this is a
decision that both you and your surgeon have made together!!!
— [Deactivated Member]
May 28, 2003
Gee and did you ask your friend where she got her medical degree???
— [Deactivated Member]
May 28, 2003
I am scheduled to have this surgery June 10, 2003. I am 59 years old. I
too have been heavy most of my life, but I have many medical problems as a
result of this, and want to live a bit longer and feel better. Stick to
your guns. I can't say I wish I was 42 again, but that certainly is not
old. Neither is 59. Ha!
— Pat S.
May 28, 2003
Why don't you send this page to that friend. It just might shut her up
fast. And here I was looking forward to turning 40 in August. Give me a
break!
— TLLessor
May 28, 2003
she is just stupid plain and simple. she must be one of those people if
told she won a million dollars she would respond.."yeah...but i have
to pay taxes for it" what a downer. negative people are the worst.
another thing that really get's me upset is how people feel they can just
say anything they feel about wls without even being asked for an opinion.
just because weightloss is one of the major benefits of this surgery i
think they think of it more like going to weightwatchers or something
instead of major surgery. people are just rude. i told a friend who was
having female surgery..."look don't give me your unasked for two cents
about my wls and i won't give you any unasked for advise on your
vagina!"
— franbvan
May 29, 2003
Hi, I am 59 and had the surgery April 14th. It was the best thing I ever
did for myself. I have had no problems and have already lost 27 lbs. I am
sure the surgery was no worse for me than for someone younger. I have 8
grandkids and one on the way next month and having this surgery makes me
realize I now have a much better chance of being at their weddings and
being a great grandma someday. Best of luck to you. Don't listen to those
dooms-sayers. They are usually such negative people or people who are
afraid you will be very successful at this and look better than them. Some
people love it when you are the underdog and they feel better and above
you. Lots of Luck and hang in there is is worth it.
— Maureen C.
May 29, 2003
Hi Jeanne
Tell your friend you would like live to at least to the age of 84. This
type of surgerical procedure people don't have
done friviously. Then tell her about Carnie Wilson. People
seem to relate to celeberties.
— Aynikaye
May 29, 2003
Jean,
My life is starting over at 44, and I think for the next few years I am
going to subtract a year until I am as young as I feel! The WLS has given
me back time I wasted being MO!
— Lisa D.
May 30, 2003
I am 44 and just starting my journey into WLS. I have not been approved or
have a surgery date yet, but my age is the least of my worries.
— doodlebug
June 2, 2003
Hey, I'm 51 and will have surgery in mid-july! I am so excited and my
family is for me as well. Go for it girl, you are the one who lives in
that body! You should be all you c an and do all you can to make this
positive step in your life.
— Ann N.
June 2, 2003
I am 27 years old, but when I had my surgery done I was actually the
youngest. My roomate on my last night was 47 and both the ladies in the
room next to me were I think she said 47 too and the other was 53. I say go
for it! You only live once and your not old, you still have so much time to
enjoy the way you want too:o) Good luck to you!
— Sandy M.
June 3, 2003
Jean, I'm VERY HAPPY that you are empowered and have the courage to take
this drastic step toward improving your health!!! With what you call a
"friend" like that, who needs enemies? I say, "pooh, pooh
and double-pooh" to your so-called friend. Pray for him or her. It's
not up to that person, ANYWAY!!I'd rather have an encouraging friend
especially where my health is concerned. Be blessed. LAP RNY 9/3/02
265/159/115-126 and holding for some reason...Hadiyah, a.k.a.~~
— yourdivaness
February 5, 2009
never too old my surent did a women in her 80,s because she beg him and he
told her if she got clerance he would ,she came back fast with all her
clrences and he said because she was so determinded he did it and shes so
much happyer....
— viettav
February 6, 2009
You are definately not too old- I had my RNY on Jan 5,2009 and I am 67.5
and my dr. said I did great-not one complication, nausea etc. I admit, I am
still trying to get water, protein in but every day gets better. Congrats
on your decision to a better life and health. Do this for you-don't let
your friend's opinion deter your hope for a better you! Donna
— donna.williams
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