Question:
Am I being vaine or does this happen to most people after surgery?
I am 5 months post-op. Lost 100 lbs. I am wearing a size 18 instead of 30. I have noticed that I am getting really picking about my looks. I have been tanning, getting my eyebrows waxed and wearing only nice youthful looking clothes that are tighter than I used to wear. I am wearing jewerly and even ironing my work clothes. Please tell me that this is something most people go through. I am trying very hard not to change after the surgery, but I can't imagine leaving home not looking my best. junebug — june22 (posted on June 9, 2003)
June 9, 2003
I am only three weeks post op, so haven't gotten to that point yet, but I
would think it is very normal. You have lost 100lbs, you are feeling a lot
better about your self, and your self confidence is coming back, so
naturally you are going to start caring more about what you look like.
Enjoy it.
— Robin T.
June 9, 2003
You go girl!!!! 100 pounds is alot! You have every reason to feel great
about yourself! If dressing up and primping makes you feel all the
better...then go for it! It's all about you and you feeling happy and
confident!!! Congratulations on your accomplishments on your weight loss!
— Stephanie K.
June 9, 2003
I'm with ya! Down 140lbs..from a 30 to a 14. It's NOT VANITY - IT'S NEWLY
AQUIRED SELF-RESPECT!!!!!! and dont it feel GOOD!!!!!?????
"We've come a long way, Baby"
I'm STILL the same person, I just feel better about that person...Give
yourself a break!!!!!
( On the "lighter" side, Jewelry and an ironed shirt on my 350 lb
body sort of disappeared anyway, didn't it?)
— Debby M.
June 9, 2003
I always wanted to look my best - even at my heaviest - but now that I am
able to fit into styles that are more flattering I am having the time of my
life. Goodbye to the "big shirts" that I wore to cover me up.
One of the best parts of the surgery is that I'm not HOT all the time. I
remember getting so hot - all the time - that the back of my hair would
literally be dripping. As a MO person I felt I still had to "cover
up" - even in summer. Now I can wear less clothing - like you should
- and I am comfortable. Still say that the decision to have WLS was the
most difficult to make - but the absolute best decision I've ever made in
my life.
— Susan B.
June 9, 2003
It is funny that you think something is wrong with you because that is what
most people who take care of themselves do everyday! I am exactly the same
now. It used to have to fit and look clean, now it has to fit, flatter,
feel good and be pretty. It is amazing all the changes that we don't
expect! Good for you-- you are not vain you are feeling good and taking
care of yourself. YAY!!!
— Carol S.
June 9, 2003
Brenda, I am SOOO with you! I am down just to a size 24, but I won't
leave the house without my toe rings, a necklace, my hair in place, my make
up on, and most flattering clothes... I'm not concerned though, I LOVE
feeling this gorgeous!
— thekatinthehat
June 9, 2003
I am the same way. I am inching towards a 100 lbs lost also and I refuse to
EVER wear a t shirt again. All of my tops are button down shirts with
collars and they all need to be ironed. I also wear make up all the time
and put a lot of effort into looking good now. It feels so great to
actually CARE about how I look now ( I am also down from a size 30).
Congrats and keep it up!! .. Sarah -93 lbs.
— SarahC
June 9, 2003
Since my surgery on March 13, I've started wearing makeup after nearly 20
years of not wearing it. I used to feel very hopeless and thought, 'why
bother'. But now, I feel more confident and since I'm a very fair skinned
blonde with blonde eyebrows and lashes, wearing makeup helps me to
highlight my features. I'm also taking more care with my clothes and
accessories. There is nothing vain about wanting to look your best.
Vanity means: "having or showing undue or excessive pride in one's
appearance or achievements" Taking pride in how we look is normal and
means you love and respect yourself. Vanity takes it a step further and
basicly comes from a place of insecurity about ones value and worth. I
think it may feel like vanity when we haven't previously spent any care on
our appearance because we felt badly about ourselves. But it is a good
sign that you now care. If you go overboard, I'm sure someone will tap you
on the shoulder and let you know.
— rebalspirit
June 10, 2003
Brenda, I do all of the above as well. I do not think it is a vanity thing
at all. It is about what makes you feel good. I am sure, if you were like
most of us, were very unhappy with yourself and really did not do much to
make yourself look or feel better. Anyway, I love pampering myself because
it had been many years since I had. ENJOY IT SWEETIE!!!! God Bless
— Egyptianeyesdiva
June 10, 2003
LOL! Tell me about it! I am 3 mos post op tomorrow I am down 65 lb. From
287 to 222 now! I was also a 30-32 and now a 22-24! I find myself looking
for what I want to wear for work the following day, when I use to just grab
anything from the closet before. I no longer want to use just hang out
clothes on the weekends I want to look pretty in comfortable clothes now.
LOL! I believe in myself now! I have confidence! I also have an attitude I
did not have before. I seem to be less tolerant of people, when I just use
to be quiet and take it. I think we all go through it, one way or another!
*_*
— Dayanara A.
June 10, 2003
Brenda, good question. I think most of us can relate to wanting to look
better now that we DO look better after losing weight. Its feeling better
about ourselves and letting it show. Its taking pride in your personal
appearance. Its being happy. I'm with ya!
— Cindy R.
June 10, 2003
Change is good!! This surgery can change everything, including the concept
of "self-care"-- which is what I call primping, buying quality
clothing and caring for the body we have. I have always been a skin &
hair care product junkie but now that I'm down 70 pounds and fitting into a
size 20, I just bought a ton of new clothes for my upcoming trip to NYC.
I've also recently highlighted and cut my hair, bought some new make-up
that I'm actually wearing. I want to look GOD after so many years of really
not caring and being invisible. All of my new clothes fit me really well
and are NOT oversized in the least. I am giving away all of the clothes
that no longer fit me. Congratulations on your 100 lb. weight loss-- that
is awesome! You deserve all the nice things you're doing for yourself--
just try not to go broke doing it! LOL!
— lizinPA
June 10, 2003
I went for my six month doctors appointment yesterday, and i spent 1 hour
trying on the right outfit to wear. I was a size 24 and am now a size
12/14. i settled on a tight Ralph lauren t-shirt and tight pants, i wanted
to make a grand entrance at the doctors office. and guess what, i did..i
was very pleased with myself.
— Alexandria D.
June 10, 2003
Wow, what a typo-- I meant I want to look GOOD, not GOD!
— lizinPA
June 10, 2003
I've lost 115 lbs since 9-02 and have gone from a 28/30 to a 14/16 and 42
years old. I have pedicures and manicures every 2 weeks, have had permanent
make up eye liner and had eyebrows done. New hair cut and different color.
I wear jewelery, rings, necklaces and ear-rings every place I go. I feel
better about my self than I have in a long time. Even heavey I believed in
dressing nice, close that fit. I wore makeup, did my hair and baths 2x a
day I felt that even Fat I didn't have to be know as the slob, most heavey
people are catorigized as dirty or stinky. But since the weight is gone I
diffently feel like a million.
— Jeana S.
June 10, 2003
I read somewhere that skin tags can be related to insulin resistance, as
well as PCOS. (With respect to Denise!) I did have insulin resistance
before surgery. They can be removed and usually don't grow back. I have a
few I'd like to get rid of. Too chicken to try and cut them off myself! I
have also heard of people windng thread very tightly around the base of the
skin tag. Cuts off the blood supply and they just fall off after a few
days. Too chicken to try that myself, either!
— koogy
June 10, 2003
Brenda-- It's not vanity, it's not obsessiveness (nor is it looking for
someone on the side). For me, wanting to look nice (and actually shaving
every morning even though I'm a Mr. Mom) is just an indication that our
bodies are no longer burdens or embarassments. For years, I would wear
wrinkled clothes, wouldn't shave more than twice a week and would eat until
I was a size 70. Let's be serious, in the very big sizes, do clothes every
really look good? And, for me, I think I figured that why worry about my
appearance b/c it wouldn't hide my extreme weight. Now, it's all changed--
maybe it's the novelty of it all, or maybe it's just an attempt to stay
attuned to what's going on with our new bodies, but in any event, I like
looking like I just didn't roll out of bed and into a buffet line.
Keep up the good work!
— SteveColarossi
June 10, 2003
I think you have every right to feel good about yourself and it is not
being vain. I know, before the surgery, I did wear makeup and dressed nice.
There are things that heavy people have no right wearing. I always made
sure that I smelled nice and looked nice. But now, somehow, it is
different. I feel better about myself and the clothes that I can buy now
are different as well. I always bought 4 times bigger to cover up how big I
was and now I don't have to do that. I am down 67 lbs in 3 mo and in an 18
to a 16(just depending on the clothes) and I want to show off a little of
what I have worked hard to get off. It's not about attracting someone else
or anything, it's just about feeling good about yourself and showing the
world how special we are!
— dixieb
June 11, 2003
Ditto, ditto, ditto! It's nice to see that the experience isn't unique!
Just a couple of other comments: having more choice in things *really*
makes it easier to take care of ourselves, and it's not just clothes.
Before I had to find wide shoes, and it was tough to find any that really
fit right. Now I can wear a lot of mediums, so have much more choice of
stores. I can wear costume jewelry, it fits! To mark my one-year
anniversary since WLS I bought a beautiful gold choker, something that
would never have fit pre-op. I do find that I'm wearing more makeup
because, after a 120+ pound weight loss and being middle aged, my face is
looking kind of saggy and drawn. I'm hoping putting more color and
highlights on my face will help that.
— Celia A.
June 11, 2003
Thanks everyone for your response to my question. I feel much better. I
know that a person's self esteem changes and sometimes their personality
changes after surgery. I am working hard to make sure all my changes are
positive ones. After 30 + years of not caring about my appearance, I was
concern that I had went to far on the other side. I feel much better now.
Thanks
— june22
June 13, 2003
I've gone through the same thing. I get my hair colored, my nails done
every 2 weeks and I look in windows as I walk more often. Everyone goes
through that. It's a boost in confidence!
— dolphins94
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