Question:
My child is 9 and weighs 110 at 4 foot 1. She is begging me not to loose any

more weight. She is making better choices. How can I help her be happy with herself other than the normal positive words?    — Pam W. (posted on June 19, 2003)

June 19, 2003
Hi, I just thought you might check out the question posted on number 23 I think it is right now. A very similar question was asked with lots of great answers. It is sad how many of us seem to have the same problem with our weight and our kids.
   — Tammy O.

June 22, 2003
My response to this question is a little late, but hopefully you'll still see it. I have had the same problem with my daughter (16) She is 5'5" and weighs 170 - size 13/14. I am 5'4" and weigh 150 lbs.- size 8. I've had people say that I look like I am in the 130's (Don't......stop....go on...) No, it is really an emotional issue for us. She is going to an amusement park today and wanted to borrow a pair of my capri pants and they didn't fit her. I don't know what to do anymore, it is something that weighs very heavy on her. I never try and make her feel fat (she isn't FAT, she just is larger than me), but her self-esteem was a learned behavior from her mother, and un-fortunately she watched my self-destructive behavior for 15 years, I just hope that she will see that my goal is not to see how skinny I can get, but to be healthy. I cook healthy cuts of meat and usually do steamed veggies or fruit with it. I let them have a rice or pasta dish on the side also. She is in therapy, (for more reasons than just my weight loss), and I have just made an appointment for myself too) and that seems to help, some weeks it seems worse, but overall it is really helping her. If you ever need to vent, e-mail me. Good luck!
   — Dana B.

June 23, 2003
This is a classic example of the fallacy of trying to determine appropriate weight, based on height. BODY FAT CONTENT is much more important. My 5'4" sister weighed 150 pounds and they were always trying to kick her out of the Army for being too fat. Then, the Army did a study (read Norman Schwarzkopft's book if you are interested) that said, body fat content was a better indicator of a person's level of fitness for duty. Once the Army started using that criteria, she fell well within the fit limits and never had a problem. Remember, muscle weighs more than fat. You can have a muscular kid, whose weight exceeds the 'norm' but still have a healthy kid. I am another classic example of genetics being more important than insurance tables...I weigh 226 pounds and have a 23 percent body fat content. Well within the fitness level!!!
   — merri B.

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