Question:
Undermining our success by cheating or simply not controlling old bad habits?

When we cheat (and we all do at various times in our recoveries) are we trying to undermine our success (whether consciously or sub-consciously) or are we merely losing a battle with our omnipresent food demons? This question came up at a support group I was moderating; my gut feeling is that slip-ups are just a sign that the food demons lurk close below the surface but a friend disagreed. I'd appreciate your insight on this question. Thanks.    — SteveColarossi (posted on January 22, 2004)

January 22, 2004
I certainly can't speak for anybody else; but, I feel that I am subconcsiously or sometimes even semi-concsiously self sabotaging myself. I guess I just don't feel that I deserve to be happy. This is a deep underlying problem which I am getting help for. Interesting question..thanks. Denise 280/143/below goal
   — denisel

January 22, 2004
I just love food. Simple as that. I will catch myself from time to time trying to cheat just to get a little bit more of something or another. I still, after two years, have to stop and say: "What the hell are you doing?" I'm sure I will deal with that forever. Rebecca 10/03/01 265/140
   — RebeccaP

January 22, 2004
you hear people say "i had surgery on my stomach not my brain" all the time. i think this is very true. unless you have some medical problem that caused you to gain weight, most MO people are food addicts. so addicted that they eat enought to cause them to become MO.when i would say "i just love to eat" it was the same as a drug addict saying they just love to get high. i loved the feeling food gave me while i was eating, but after i felt awful. wls is a two part system....the body AND the brain. without both working together it is doomed to fail. for some people having wls gives them a chance to deal with their eating addiction, but others need more support.
   — franbvan

January 22, 2004
Lately I find myself reverting to my old ways and it scares me to death! I feel hungry all the time it seems. I know I never want to be as big as I was ever again. So I keep telling myself shape up (No pun intended) and get back on the right track. 345/190 12/23/2002
   — tat1997

January 22, 2004
I didn't disagree per se, I think that old habits die hard if ever but I also think that there might be more to it than that. For me the obsessive thinking about food and the need to control it and myself are part of it too. I feel as though I must have thought that the fat was serving a purpose but when I got there I found it was only to make me miserable. I am starting to really believe in the obesity/OCD connection more than ever because why else would I sabotage such a wonderful thing that I wanted so badly??? May be some of us are sicker than others and I fit into that category. I do see some have easier times than others but then again I see people gaining their weight back. Perhaps it really is about constant vigilance and awareness. Perhaps I just think too much! I am also finding that this is my lowest point in every year and the food demons are doing a happy dance. Lap RNY 1/15/03 277/156/150ish
   — Carol S.

January 22, 2004
For me, the answer would be food demons. I do fine for long stretches. I pass by the vending machines several times a day (on the way to the restroom at work) and have never bought anything from it since my surgery 15 months ago. But if I have junk in the house - and it might be relatively innocent junk - I will eat it. I can't have chocolate in the house. I wouldn't stop picking at the sugar free lo-carb cheesecake we had. Is that horrible? No, but it's not the food that makes the binge, it's the attitude.
   — Yolanda J.

January 22, 2004
Steve: I think I would have to agree with you. When a cigarette smoker quits, they can(should?) never pick up a cigarette ever again. Same thing with an alcoholic/drug user. Food for us/me is an addiction. After having something really really satisfying I almost feel "high". And after that little high, I come/came down to feel horrible and lousy to which I'd comfort myself with something else to eat. The vicious circle of the food demons. It's not so easy for us/me, because food is a staple of life. At 3 months post op, when my pouch is so small, it's still a battle to make the right choices. Like my profile says.. 29 years of conditioning is gonna take longer than 3/6/9 months to undo. So I'd agree with you.. the temptation of my drug, the food demon, I think is one of the reasons that I think about cheating. When my brain starts trying to rationalize snacking and cheating -- "This HANDFULL of chips isn't going to hurt, especially when I ate the whole bag before surgery." -- It's really tough to suppress that. But now, however, psycologically I am much harder on myself when I grab a handful of chips. And I have been doin' much better a picking healthier things to eat. But I'm learning. And.... Nobody's Perfect. Thanks for your question. God Bless. Michelle 10/13/03 425/320/200
   — Michelle J.

January 22, 2004
That depends on the person, and I'm sure you'll find people that struggle with one or the other (or both!) of these issues. For me, my overwhelming carb cravings are what cause me to fall off the wagon.
   — mom2jtx3

January 23, 2004
I am posting this answer as I munch on some nacho chips...I think it is a little of both. Yes I am addicted to food, but I think I sabotage myself. When I was fat, all the problems in my life (not finishing college, no significant relationships with the opposite sex, etc, etc) were because I was fat. Now that I am 170 pounds, I still have those problems which makes me realize that it wasn't the fat holding me back and screwing up my life, it was me and my shortcomings and my mental blocks. Since it is so much easier to blame the fat than myself, I can see where I sabotage myself in an attenpt to have that "excuse" back.
   — Kristen S.

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