Question:
Why would you not tell people you had this surgery?
I have told everyone I come in contact with because I believe in this surgery and I believe it can help many people and if my experience can help them then I want to. I have seen lots of people post that they DON'T tell anyone. My question is why not tell everyone? Just curious as to why this is not ment to judge anyone for any reason. I am just a "teller" and would like imput from a non "teller". — Vitabella (posted on February 3, 2004)
February 2, 2004
If you read my profile, you will see why I didn't tell hardly anyone about
my surgery (pre-op). After all was said and done (post-op), I started
telling people IF they ask what method I am using to loose the weight.
Also, I think most of us are afraid that people might think this is the
"easy" route to go. To that I say "Heck NO-- it is hard
work!!" A person cannot really appreciate how hard it is until
post-op. I admire you for your conviction. Now my only fear of telling
people is -- what happens if I don't loose enough weight -- then I'll have
more questions!!!
— LisaL.
February 2, 2004
I feel this is a personal issue for me. Actually, just the topic of my
weight has always been very sensitive for me- The ONLY time I tell someone-
is if I feel that telling them would HELP them in some way- Sometimes, I'll
run into someone in passing- and they will say something to me "how
did you do it" and right there in the grocery store isle, I don't
want to get into the whole thing, so I tell little white ones- but I do
believe if someone could benefit from this surgery- it great info to pass
along- And for some people. I just think its none of their business LOL
— WABBIT F.
February 2, 2004
This was a very personal choice for me so I chose to tell only my parents
and siblings what kind of surgery I was having because my grandparents can
be very mean at times and in the past have made extremely harsh comments
about people that have had the bypass surgery. I have a distant cousin(we
have never met) that had her surgery several months before I did and my
grandparents still go on about how stupid she was for doing it and how she
has ruined her life. While I was still researching the surgery I explained
to them why the surgery is needed for some people and they still don't get
it. I get enough negativity from my 3 surviving grandparents about other
stuff in my life I did and still do not want or need to deal with them on
this issue as well. My grandparents and other relatives were told I was
having my hiatle hernia repaired. They are happy that the hernia has
healed and I am happy they are not gripping about a bypass that they do not
understand. I have told a few people outside of my family what I had done.
— tazfan
February 2, 2004
I'm a very private person. I told the people in my life that I'm closest
to - immediate family, closest personal friends and select colleagues that
I felt I could trust. I would be the same with any medical procedure - I'm
just not the person who goes around telling everything about myself. I
have since shared with some others who I thought might want the information
for their own use. In doing so I learned of one person who shared she had
the "stomach stapling" 20 years ago, or so, and wasn't sucessful.
I got the opportunity to share with her the differences in the procedures
now. Before surgery, I didn't have the emotional energy to deal with any
negativity that might have occurred and so that's another reason I was so
selective about my choice to be reserved. To each her own -I think it's
great that some want to talk to anyone about this surgical option for
weight loss - it's how I learned about it - from a colleague who had it
done. If not for her, I would still be overweight, depressed, and at a
loss. Big hugs to that special person!
— [Deactivated Member]
February 3, 2004
I only told a few people in my immediate family and one best friend.
Everyone else thinks I had my gallbladder removed. First, I didn't want to
be known as "the fat girl that had THE surgery." I've heard
coworkers and some friends talk, and I know that's what would be said.
Second, I didn't want people to watch me eat. And those that do know,
literally watch me eat. I had a cousin do it many months before I did, and
on holidays and get-togethers, what and how much he eats becomes the topic
over and over again. And third, it's my decision, my life, and I didn't
think I needed to share it with everyone. I'm extremely supportive and
ecstatic that other people can do that. I'm just not that kind of person.
— Ann B.
February 3, 2004
There are people that just don't want to share things and I have to respect
them for that. This being said, I'll tell anyone and everyone about it
that asks. My wife was going to keep hers hidden, but when I told her
that there aren't a lot of causes for quick weight loss that aren't bad
(e.g., cancer, AIDS, hep C, etc) and she's a nurse, she decided to go
public and is almost as vocal about her surgery as I am now.
<p>
I was asked last year by my hospital bariatric program to be one of four
people to film interviews for our new website (it's not up yet). They will
take snippets from the four interviews to do a unique FAQ thing.
<p>
I also have submitted my story to Obesityhelp Magazine, so I may be coming
to your mailbox in a future issue *G* !!! JR
— John Rushton
February 3, 2004
I have to side in with the "NO Tells." Confidentiality in all
aspects of a person's life is compromised these days. For me it was easy
to take the position that what is going on with me medically is no one's
business. When someone mentions the weight I've lost and asks, I just tell
them that I have made some drastic changes in my lifestyle. If, I were to
get into the details of my personal experience with WLS, it may discourage
someone who really needs this surgery from considering it. I do believe
that it can be a good choice for those who are at the end of the road, but
would never encourage someone who has not exhausted all other options. I
would feel badly if I promoted it and encouraged someone to have the
surgery and they had a negative outcome. This is just my feelings based on
my experience.
Polly
— Jackie O.
February 3, 2004
I am pre-op and still havent "come out" I probably will after the
surgury (march 4th) mostly because what's done is done and my family &
friends cant try to "open my eyes" or "talk me out of
it".
I can just hear my aunt with the "I work with a lady who knows someone
who knows someone who watched a show about a show about a guy who had that
done and died and his family sued and now their homeless and if you do this
you'll surely die and what will we tell your children?" I know it's
dramatic but thats how people are.
I wont answer to anyone and if it comes out afterward I will probably smile
and refuse to discuss it unless with someone who REALLY want to know for
their own reasons. Not to look at me like a freak. The previous posts about
getting watched when eating have me a little spooked over letting this leak
out. It's my personal medical history. Getting into that could become
pretty controversial so I wont but personal medical history is personal and
it's HISTORY.
I have a niece who has been in several different clinics for annorexia.
She's so thin you actually cant help but stare...we watch her when she
eats. But for some reason...her privacy is respected. The fact that she has
suffered and still struggles is accepted and no one suggests she talk about
it at family functions. Why dont the obese and formally obese get the same
respect?
Julia
— [Deactivated Member]
February 3, 2004
Janeen,
I agree with you. I will talk about it to anyone who will listen. I am
not ashamed of having had surgery to get my life back -and I want to share
the experience with everyone. When I was in the rehab hospital after my
total knee replacement last summer, I was telling the physical therapist
about it - two other patients overheard the conversation and from that
point forward, I spent most of my free time telling them about the surgery
- they both were VERY interested in pursuing it.
— Patty_Butler
February 3, 2004
I think its a very personal decision whether you want to share personal
medical information. I, for one, do not share any personal medical
information at work so I have told no one there. I don't consider it
professional. My family and a few close friends know and I willingly share
my story at my support group meetings and here on line at obesityhelp.
— Cindy R.
February 3, 2004
Some people are more private than others. Also a lot of people are afraid
of the social stigma. I live in Los Angeles where surgery for anything is
not stigmatized. LOL.
— mrsmyranow
February 3, 2004
I am a very private person. I don't tell most private things about myself.
I did not feel the need to tell everyone. I just felt my surgery was my
personal information. I especially did not tell my coworkers because I did
not want them in my business. I did not feel like explaining my reasons. I
did not tell anyone. Everyone thinks I had a Gallbladder surgery. My
family does not even know I had any type of surgery at all. All of my
family lives in another state. The only support I had was from my Angel
Suzy C and from a friend(who think I had gallbladder surgery). I still
have not told anyone. Yes, people have notice the weightloss. They just
give me compliments. I am a slow loser so it has not been as drastic as
some people weighloss. I have had a couple male friends aske me is I had
wls. I denied it. One is totally against it and is always telling me
negative stories of a lady he knows who had it and how bad she looks.
— Just P
February 3, 2004
The only people who knew of my surgery were my mom,( We didn't tell my dad
because we didn't think he would have understood, he always thought I was
beautiful and that I didn't need to change so we didn't want him to know I
was so unhappy) and my two sisters and one brother knows. I didn't tell my
other relative and five brothers because they are nosey and love to talk
about people and bring things up in your face when they get mad at you nor
my friends because Its none of their business. All my friends are thin and
think they are cute and can get any man they want, and always look at me as
being the fat friend who can't get anyone. except one friend who is very
heavy we were looking at a program one day about this surgery when I told
her have she ever considered surgery she yelled out "Hell No!!!"
I would never do that.....Well she needs to, but that was the end of that,
I never said anything to her about it cause I know how it felt when someone
always telling you about loosing weight. Also in all honesty I am a little
embraress that I couldn't do it on my own. Afraid of what people would
think and I want people to look at me for who I am, not someone who had
this surgery. Sorry I feel this way but right now my self esteem is a
little down, I'm really having a tough time right now.
When I go to the gym, I talk to other women who wants to loose 10 or 20
pounds and feel good around them that I'm no longer the one who is trying
to loose 150 pounds.
If I find someone I meet who wants to have it done, then I'll tell them
"Hey look at me, I had it done and I'm doing good" thank god, but
until that time I'll keep it to myself. I am a loner by nature although I
have lot of people who loves me and want to be around me, I still like to
go at it alone, except for my parents, I would love to be around them again
but that impossible. So in all I just want people to think that I just
lost weight, and that how it's going to be.
— Rebe W.
February 3, 2004
some people feel that their medical history is no body's business.
— **willow**
February 3, 2004
I have been VERY private about my wls. I couldn't really figure out why I
am so determined to keep it secret, but now I know. It's because if I fail
at this, I don't want people saying "Wow, she had wls and still is
fat, or failed at evem that" You know how some people don't get
it...thats why I never tell, to protect myself for the "just in
case"
— ZZ S.
February 3, 2004
I didn't tell many people outside of my family I was having open rny
because, frankly, I felt it was none of their business. I had heard some
negative comments from some co-workers about certain celebrities having the
surgery that weren't very nice and didn't want to deal with their comments
towards me. I didn't tell all of my family until a few months before
because part of me was almost ashamed it had come to this and I was now
their "super morbidly obese" little sister. They have all seen
me gain and lose, gain and lose, and thought they would think "oh,
here she goes again!" I also didn't want to hear any horror stories,
as much as I was very aware of everything that could happen. I have been
much more open since the surgery but still will not share every detail with
everyone. I made a comment to my husband and best friend that I would
never say to a friend who had cancer "I knew someone that died from
that kind of cancer" so why should anyone say to me "I heard of
people who have died from having that surgery." I know it is just
their ignorance, but those people, I share nothing with. The people who
have been there for me and are supportive and honest, those are the ones I
have considered a true friend and family member thru all of this. I
believe this surgery saved my life and it will only get better from here.
It is a lot of work and dedication but worth it. My surgeon is remarkable
and when I am old, gray, and can't remember my own name, I will always
remember her and her smiling face and how she gave me my life back.
— Kathy *.
February 3, 2004
The reason I had my surgery (11/14/02) is because when I asked a co-worker,
Sara, about he huge weightloss, she shared with me that it was RNY. I'll
forever be grateful to her. Before my surgery and shortly afterward I was
hesitant to tell anyone because I had lost large amounts of weight many
times before to then regained it. I didn't want another of my
"possible failures" out there for everyone to see. When I was
able to see how much of a help the surgery had been to me, I've been
determined to share my experience with anyone who shows an interest and
could benefit from it. I know, too, that people are watching and judging
about what I'm doing, what I'm eating, etc. . . but I know where I'm going
and don't worry about them anymore. . . life is too short! Donna (-121 lbs
so far)
— Donna S.
February 3, 2004
I didn't tell anyone while I was still deciding because I didn't want
people to tell me all the horror stories or try and change my mind one way
or the other. I wanted it to be my choice. Once I had decided for sure to
have it done... I told anyone who wanted to know. And now that I have had
it done, I tell everyone who asks. I am very careful to tell them that it
is not for everyone and I tell them about all the problems I had so that no
one thinks it is an easy fix... but I pretty much tell anyone who cares. I
like to think that I would make a difference in someones life with my
story.
— Tami S.
February 3, 2004
Well for me anyway - I did not tell anyone pre-op because like many other
people, I believed that I would be the one that it did not work for. We
have failed so many times in our quest to lose weight that even though I
was very well educated on the surgery, a little voice inside my head kept
saying, don't get to excited, what if it doesn't work for you. However
post-op and down 105lbs - I have told a lot more people.
— tara821
February 3, 2004
I only told family and close friends pre op. Post op, I pick and chose who
I tell if people are interested in how I lost the weight. Some people are
very supportive and ask questions (even if they aren't obese). Some are
like "ew, I'd never mangle my body like that" and I don't respond
because I just don't want to get into a debate. There are so many people
who think obesity is solved by diet and exercise alone and has nothing to
do with genetics. But, I haven't met up with any 'you took the easy way
out' reactions.
— Yolanda J.
February 3, 2004
I think everyone summed it up pretty good, there is still such a stigma
about the surgery. I personally shout it from the rooftops, but a few
people I know, just don't talk about the surgery. There are those out
there who just don't realize that for some of us THIS was the only option
left. I had done them all, with no long term success. Will this be a
success for me? You bet! I changed they way I do everything, the process
of this surgery has made me really look at my lifestyle and eating habits,
and although I am far from perfect, I am healthy and I am now teaching my
kids about nutrition. Heck before one candy bar = two fruits. I now eat
protein first, then veggies, then fruit..... and drink water until my
eyeballs float. Us "tellers" are just that, I suppose we - in
general share more of our lives in all aspects with others vs. the
"non-tellers" being more private. No right or wrong, just
diversity. (Besides if we were ALL "tellers" this web-site
wouldn't be big enough....LOL
— Dana B.
February 3, 2004
i don't think of wls as a diet, it was a way to get healthy. it is also my
own personal medical information. yes i think wls is a great thing, but
it's still my private info. i'm not ashamed in anyway about having it. i
just believe in my right to pick and choose who i talk about it with. if i
had a female problem i wouldn't tell everyone either...i would pick and
choose if i wanted to talk about it.
— franbvan
February 3, 2004
Great answers - as usual! Having worked for many years in a hospital (LVN
and unit secretary) I have learned that what's private varies a great deal
from person to person. I decided to tell anyone who would listen - but
that's just how I am. And I thought I could share information with nurses
and doctors who give adivice to patients - and maybe give a little insight
to them about what it's like to be MO - and to be judged harshly by far to
many health care providers. I'm happy to talk with anyone who asks about
the surgery but I've made it a firm rule not to try to talk anyone into
having this surgery. I've had lots of requests to "please talk my
husband into having this done", etc. and I always decline and try to
explain that it is a very individual decision and a MAJOR lifestyle change
and it's certainly not for everyone. For me, it's been a miracle - and
lots of hard work - with 30-40-50 stubborn pounds to go! I've had tons of
positive feedback from family and friends and co-workers which has been a
big plus for me - but I certainly understand not wanting to tell - and not
wanting to answer a million questions. I totally agree - it's not a good
or a bad thing whether to tell or not -just an individual decision.
— [Deactivated Member]
February 3, 2004
I wish I hadn't told so many people. And I don't like it even more now
when they keep asking me now how much I've lost. That's the part that I
find private. Don't ask me how much I've lost. Only because it kinda
pinpoints where I started.
— Michelle J.
February 3, 2004
My decision to keep this strictly private is based on several things. I am
now 3 years post op. 3 1/2 years ago when I began researching, I kept my
research private. To this day, only my husband and my mom know. I only told
my mom because I would need help with my children. She has been great in
not sharing this with my dad and other siblings, aunts, cousins, etc...(If
I thought about this honestly, she doesn't want everyone else to know what
a "freakish" thing her daughter did to her body) My reasons are
difficult to explain and probably not as noble as others have mentioned.
Quite frankly, I did not want to ALWAYS be defined by my weight or weight
loss. I believed that if I had told, then I would always have that stigma
and I just wanted to be normal. Now, in hindsight I have mixed feelings. I
STILL don't want to be different than anyone else. My favorite
"event" is meeting someone for the first time and having them
only know this "me", the thin one. Not the "she's thin, but
she used to be fat, one". I believe that I saw MY obesity as a
character flaw and felt that others judged me that way as well. I guess I
didn't want to admit that I was powerless to do anything about it and
wanted to appear able to do this myself. Dreading negative remarks really
wasn't an issue with me. It was pure embarrassment and not wanting to
forever have people know what I did to my anatomy. It's just not their
business. However, I am realizing that over time, as health issues may
arise, it is going to be harder to keep it a secret and then I will have to
deal with the fact that I was not honest initially and I am certain I will
hurt MANY feelings. I have always prided myself on my honesty and that is a
quality that others attribute to me, including my 16 year old son. During
my weight loss, I was also private and did not boast numbers or sizes. I
felt guilty knowing I was not being truthful, and therefore did not want to
over do it. I barely talked about my loss and only answered "a
lot" when asked how much I had lost. I was sooooooooooooo glad when
those questions stopped and the compliments ceased, because it was then
that I felt normal and not like a phoney. As you can see, keeping this
private has caused a lot of ambivalence. For me there were consequences
either way and I just went the way that seemed to have fewer negative
feelings. I am comfortable with my choice with only a little regret.
Shelley
— Shelley.
February 3, 2004
I can see both sides of this one. I only told those close to me before I
had it done. Once I lost 150 pounds, I told lots of people. I kept
getting positive feedback, so my6 lips started flapping.
— Kristin L.
February 3, 2004
I had my surgery (open RNY) in May '03. I did not tell my work until about
Nov of last year. I waited until after my work signed the new contract for
our insurance. I did that because my husband had his surgery (open RNY) on
Sept 30th. My work insurance renewal time is Oct 1. I did not want to
jeapordize him having his surgery being paid for by my insurance. His
insurance had denied him. He needed the surgery more than I did, he was
super obese, whereas I was morbidly obese. My work knows about the surgery
now, but do not know about the insurance issues. My husband's family still
does not know about either of our surgeries for a very good reason, they
are not supportive. I am sure they will eventually find out (they live out
of state) and we will deal with that issue when it comes up. So, everyone
has their own reasons for not telling others about their surgery. All the
people that we have come in contact with now are very supportive and many
are curious about it. We really love telling out stories, it has been
really fun.
— ChristineB
February 3, 2004
I have also told just about everyone I know, that I had surgery. I am proud
of the decisions that I have made, and hope that my experiences will, in
some way aid others thinking about having this life saving surgery. I am
one of four people at work that has had WLS. It's like our own little
support group, and I find that other Co Workers (big and small) are very
interested in what we have all been through from beginning to the present.
Telling people is a personal choice, some of us feel that others will look
down on us because we have failed all our lives tring to loose weight, and
now we have chosen the "easy way out"(little do they know)We are
different, there is no right, or wrong decision, because it's a personal
one. My best to everyone
— Melody D.
February 3, 2004
I don't mind talking about it and I actually have people having thier
friends and family calling me and e-mailing me about WLS. My girlfriend is
in a "so called" man field line of work, where women don't
usually succeed, so she has not told anyone to keep the people from work
from "talking". She did tell other WLS members and her mom only.
I don't understand either b/c im so open, but everyone has different
reasons.
— Sandy M.
February 3, 2004
Shame.
Pure and simple.
I have a hard time being proud of what I have accomplished as I am still so
ashamed that I allowed myself get to 420 pounds. I didn't like to talk
about my weight then, and I don't now.
(down 220, 2.5 years post op and still losing)
— Danielle M.
February 3, 2004
Personally I have told everyone I know and even people I don't.....lol
I figure if there is ONE person out there who might be interested and I can
help them save their life, then it is all worth it!
I haven't had any negative feed back from it since I had my surgery, my
only problems pre-op were from family whom are now VERY proud of me for my
decision!
— Saxbyd
February 3, 2004
There are some great posts here! I can give you my perspective as one who
decided not to tell, then circumstances forced me out of the
closet!<br>
I am a nurse and worked in the ER for many years. One slow night (easy to
remember as they are few and far between), I had a patient who was a large
lady. She ask me if she could speak to me about my weight. I was well
aware of my weight, but she was large too, so I figured why not. She told
me that she had lost 175, and she had WLS. She told me a lot about the
surgery, then gave me the name and number of her surgeon. I waltzed out of
her room beaming. One of the ER docs ask me why I had been in there so
long, and I started telling him what she had told me. Well, he, and
another doc who was nearby, both jumped all over me...<b>DO NOT EVEN
THINK ABOUT IT...NO NO NO</B>, etc. They told me some horror
stories, lots of horror stories. <br>
Then, my cousin had the surgery. She lost 50 pounds, period. She and I
were about the same size. That did not make the surgery look very
promising, and she was only the 2nd person I knew of who had the surgery.
<br>
Time went on, and my health began to fail. I had to retire on disability;
I had to use an assistive device to walk; I became totally dependent on my
husband for many of the simple activities of daily living. <br>
One night, out of sheer desperation, I started searching "morbid
obesity" on the internet, and found this site. I admit that at first,
I was more interested in the "before and after" pictures....My
God, was that <b>possible</b> for me? Then I read...and
read...and read..I read profiles, I read archives, I read all the posts and
answers. I branched out to searching out bariatric surgeons and the
programs offered by different medical centers. I called my cousin, and she
told me that her surgery failure was her own fault! She told me that there
were rules to follow, and she did not follow them from day 1! She said
that she would recommend the surgery for anyone willing to "stick to
the rules", and that even though she had only lost 50 pounds (note
that "only", as if 50 pounds were nothing!), that she was quite
happy to have that 50 gone, as it made a difference, too. She is also a
nurse, so I trusted what she told me. <br>
I talked it over with my husband, asking if he would be supportive if I
made this decision. He said that he wanted to know more about the risks of
the surgery, but that he respected my decisions and would support me any
way possible. I talked to my closest friend (also a nurse)...she said it
(the surgery) scared the he** out of her, but she would support me in my
decision. I didn't plan to tell anyone else. I had already heard the
negative, and I did not want to deal with it.<br>
After my first consult with the surgeon, I learned that I was at higher
risk than normal due to my health history. I talked this over with my
husband, and together we decided that it was only fair to tell my
mother--just in case. I told her, and begged her not to tell anyone. Next
thing I knew, aunts, uncles, sisters, family friends were calling
me...asking about my decision to have surgery, when was my surgery, etc.
<br>
My husband must have felt the need to talk this over with his support
group, for people from his fellowship began asking me the same questions.
In the meantime, a young girl in my support group told us that her doctor
wanted her to have wls, and she did not want to. I told her, in confidence
(I now know there is no such thing *G*) that I had done a lot of research,
and if she was interested, I would share the fruit of my labor. The next
meeting I walked into, 3 people ask me if I was really going to have
"that" surgery.<br>
Well, I was "outed" all that simply. Since it was told, I
decided to be upfront and honest about the thing. I have had very little
negative. When someone wanted to be negative, I told them upfront that I
knew all the risks but I also knew the risks of continuing with my obesity.
It was MY decision to have the surgery and I felt good about my decision.
If they had concerns, I would try to address them, if they had horror
stories, I could probably tell them one I knew to be true that could top
theirs, and if I died, my objective was still met...I wanted to get out of
pain, and even death would be a relief from the constant pain I suffered.
That generally shut them up!<br>
I have been one of the fortunate ones...my surgery went smoothly, I have
had absolutely no complications, and my health is improving by leaps and
bounds. When people ask me how I lost the weight, I tell them up front
that I had wls and I am thrilled with my results. I also tell them that I
had to see a therapist to deal with the emotional aspects of my eating,
that I sometimes cried because I couldn't eat what my head wanted to, I
stay cold all the time, and my tail hurts when I sit. <br>
Having WSL is a very personal decision and it's not for everyone. Whether
or not to tell is also very personal. You must do what you feel is right
for you. My solution is just that...MINE. Things did not go the way I
would have prefered, but they all worked out anyway. Please do not feel
guilty for making a decision that was/is right for you..that's your right
as a human being. <br>
Good luck on the rest of your journey. Linda 301/198/???
— Linda S.
February 4, 2004
Janeen, it is good that you can tell everyone about your surgery. Some of
us are not so lucky to be surrounded by such positive people like yourself.
There are negative comments or indications of not losing weight "the
right way; or doing all by yourself." Though these comments may not
bother you - but for those who have always been sensitive about their
weight and will always be sensitive -getting the wrong comment from people
does not aid them in their struggles - so why should they set themselves
up? I say it is a individual choice to those who want to tell as well as
those who do not, am I not right?
— Anna M.
February 4, 2004
Anna is right and again I am very open about my WLS. I understand that
people are sensitive about weight, shoot I cried if you looked at me wrong,
knowing why people were looking at me. I get ALOT of rude comments about
WLS, "oh, you took the easy way out" or " well I did'nt have
the miracle surgery like you" UGH that makes me so mad that I feel I
need to educate people as much as I can, I still have lots of questions and
need help with emotional issues myself. I feel like I saved my life and I
am proud that I have went through all this for me and so I can see my kids
grow up and actually be a part of that, instead of sitting back and
watching like before. My life is so much better and WLS is hard work and
people need to understand that. I am so proud of everyone that has had WLS
and hope you all have a wonderful journey :o)
— Sandy M.
February 4, 2004
I often wih I had not told everybody. It seems like I will forever be
defined by my WLS and where my weight is. Every one is supportive, at least
to my face, but I ge tired of being asked how much I weigh, how much have I
lost, how much more do I want to lose or "Don't lose any more!"
And I HATE HATE HATE when I am introduced to someone new and oh, she used
to be really big and had a gastric bypass. Or having people look at what I
am eating. Like the day I was having lunch at work and there was a plate of
cookies (not mine) on the table and someone walked up and said oh my god
are you eating all that,!!!??? (hell no, not that it is anyones business.)
I would like to be just seen and treated as a regular person.
— **willow**
February 18, 2004
I only told my mom because she is right under God to me and I only told my
dad because at one point in time I thought I was going to use his
insurance. I also told my cousin who is like a sister to me and my Aunt who
is like a big sister as well. I also got caught looking at b/f and after
pics and my nephew's mother walked in and I told her I was having surgery.
I will get that out of her head as shrewedly as I can by telling her I have
decided to eat right and excersize one last time before I go ahead and have
surgery. This is not a lie, I will be having surgery sometime next month,
and I plan on doing Atkin's for 2 weeks and excersizing to get my muscles
in shape for surgery...Anyway, my medical info is my personal business and
I hope my dad doesn't tell everyone he knows. That would tick me off. I
will call him to make sure he does not tell. I even emailed the Regulatory
Compliance specialist at my job to see if I had to tell my manager (who is
a health nut always on a diet)why I was going to be out. She told me that I
only need to tell her that I will be on medical leave for however long. I
do not have to give her any medical information/details. I know they will
talk about me when I get back because I will be like 30lbs lighter. I plan
on transferring ASAP to another department. I cannot stand to be the gossip
topic that is why I try and avoid gossipping. I don't want people to know
because I am a private person. I will not even tell people my salary. I
hope the snoops I work with never find this site because they will try and
look up my name. Call me paranoid but I don't know how I would deal with
the question, "Did you have weight loss surgery?" I hope I never
have to. My decision to have WLS is my personal, private business and I'm
sticking to it.
— Shayla527
February 18, 2004
I have told just close friends & some family members. Not that I'm
ashamed of having surgery, but because it just isn't some people's
business. My son's significant other is very negative about the surgery,
but she has issues of her own due to a disability so I tend to ignore her.
This is a decision that is personal & so is telling. My surgery will be
in March & I'm soooo excited. It had to be put on hold due to a mild
heart attack. So of course I heard from the negative one that I shouldn't
have the surgery now due to the heart attack. Duh, what caused the attack
to begin with I asked her? High blood pressure, diabetes just to name a
couple of the co-morbids. I feel very positive about surgery. I have been
researching for close to a year, I didn't wake up one morning & make
this decision. I haven't asked anyone if I should have WLS I have TOLD them
this is what I'm doing. My cardio & primary docs are behind me 500%
& so are my family & friends. Guess I'm one of the lucky ones. A
decision of to tell or not to tell is personal, I know that the negative
people will not support me so they aren't told. I try to avoid negative
people in my life to begin with. In my research & talking with surgeon
I know the risks, but I feel the risk of all this extra weight is doing
more damage & will kill me first before the surgery would. The heart
attack just made me that more determined to follow through with WLS. Follow
your heart & stay positive!:)
— Carolyn
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