Question:
I want to be a BIG loser, but I'm just a PLAIN loser...
11/15/01- 187lbs- I think this may be my end weight? I had my surgery on 8/25/2000 and I probably could stand to lose another 30-40, but I hate exercise, I hate sweating and until I come to terms with that, I will not lose another pound! Someone wrote on this site they were happy being in the 180's, feeling "normal" or "rubenesque" and never dieting etc. and I am trying to accept that for me, but I don't. I WANT to weigh 150, but I am one lazy, unmotivated girl. I feel as I am the WLS failure. I didn't use my "window" of opportunity to learn to like to exercise like the rest and now I'm screwed.... I also get panicky about gaining it back- which I haven't- but still- I am paranoid. I have been TRYING to get to a support meeting I was invited to- but it is the second Saturday of each month- and I play on the weekends! I bet there is someone else out there just like me- I wonder what they've done....anyone else come back from a "point of no return" or so they thought? — Karen R. (posted on November 15, 2001)
November 15, 2001
Way too many excuses. Until you stop making those, you'll still be
dissatisfied. Good luck and God Bless!
— Kimberly L.
November 15, 2001
Failure? Just ook at yourself! Surgery is carefully calculated to NOT make
us underweight for safety reasons. So your not at your idseal weight? Just
look at any mall, your on the thin side in comparison with most normal
american females. Your picture looks great, be thankful for what you have!
Now that doesnt mean you shouldnt make a effort to do better, but dont beat
yourself up over it. Few of us are perfect, I KNOW I am not.
— bob-haller
November 15, 2001
Ahhh...finally, someone I can relate to. It's great to get a
message from someone who admits that she isn't one of the BIG
losers. It's also great to hear from someone who can't/won't
become a gym rat. Like you, I haven't maximized my weight loss.
I'd kill just to get into the 190's! I was 370 when I had my rny
and now I am 225. That's a loss of 145lbs. and I am truly happy,
healthy and feeling great. I did this with no exersizing. OK. I did
go for long walk once!!! My surgeon says he can't believe that I
actually lost 145lbs. and that my body is so tight and firm...and that
I have maintained that weight loss for three years, without any exersize.
Also, for some reason, I don't look like I weight 225. I look like I'm in
the 190 range and I wear size 16's. I'm rock solid! I'm one of the few
wls patients who doesn't WANT to be thin. I look in the mirror and I
truly
like what I see. I would like to get down to 195, just to break that 200
mark.
But that's as far as I want to go. I love being curvaceous! And also, I
am very
very vain. I see the horrible bodies that some of the ladies in my support
group
have...they would be the BIG losers. Sure, they weight 130 or 140 and when
they
wiggle into their girdles, they can get into size 8's and 10's. But, now
they have to
go through rounds of reconstructive surgery...paying for much of it
themselves. Not to
mention pain, hospitals, rcovery time. I'd rather be reubneseque (ok,
plump) than put
myself through all that. If you all but cut out the carbs and join a gym
and workout 5
days a week, you certainly can lose that 30-40 pounds you want to lose. You
would have to
work very hard and the weight would come off very slosly. But it certainly
is doable!!!
That's the position I'm in now. Do I want to work that hard and go back to
a life of
"dieting" to lose that 30lbs???? I just don't know. Except for
the satisfaction of seeing
195 on the scale, what would I get out of it??? I have no answers for you.
I just want you
to know that you aren't alone.
— [Anonymous]
November 16, 2001
Hi Karen...I have followed your journal all the way through your pre and
post-op. YOU ARE NOT A LOSER IN ANYTHING OTHER THAN POUNDS!!! You have
done GREAT! I know, we have a very similar journey. I lost about 155
pounds and didn't exercise. There, I said it....I am a lazy person when it
comes to going to the gym. I hate it and have zero motivation to do it. I
also have PCOS and it has been a battle every day. You will make it to
goal! Your window is 12 - 18 months (thats just a rough estimate)and you
are only 14 months post-op! I completely stopped losing at month 12, I
even gaind a few pounds back. Then all of a sudden the past two months I
lost another 7 pounds! Where the heck did that come from? Who woulda
thunk it? As soon as I stopped stressing over the numbers and thought
about how good I felt....THE SCALE DIDN'T MATTER ANYMORE!!!!! Keep up the
GREAT work! You will make it! Luv,.....
— heidiinPA
November 16, 2001
Karen, I truly know what you are saying! I live it every single day. You
would think that we would be grateful for the opportunity to have even lost
the weight, and I am, but I have days when I get scared to death of gaining
the weight back again. The numbers on the scale do not tell the whole tale.
By looking at your photo on your profile, I must say to you that you look
fabulous!!!I wish I looked as good at the same weight. I too am about 35
pounds from goal, that seems to be common. I have stopped exercising simply
because of bordom, and my absolute tiredness, as a result of my hectic
life. Maybe you should consider talking to a counselor or someone who can
help you to see how wonderful you look, and appreciate the true you that
you are, inside and out!!! I think you look great, "normal".
— twenc
November 16, 2001
Thank you ALL. I was beginning feel alone, and isolated- but you words have
truly inspired me. Maybe not to rush out and join that gym again, but at
least start slow and get into some kind of regulated exercise- maybe open
up that brand new yoga tape collecting dust? Exercise DOES make me feel
good, but I am working with issues (such as the PCOS) that work against me
(mentally, physically) anyhow - I also know I make a LOAD of excuses...
Part of me blames a lot of crap on my PCOS, and I don't know if that is
making excuses or accepting my limitations. Because of PCOS - I do not
think my mind works as well as others- as far as motivation/determination
goes- THIS could also be a depression factor. I also don't really KNOW what
I was trying to achieve by writing it, maybe acceptance, maybe find someone
who has the same issues? Whatever it was, I needed to hear from you all
and I thank you for it.
PS- I do have an apron, but I think I am keeping it. At least until after
I try to have kids. I am also fitting nicely in a jrs. size 15- or a men's
sized 36". I have about a 37" waist- but then that's PCOS for
ya- I cannot wear women's pants- they assume I have a waist & hips, and
alas I do not. I probably would wear a 10-12, I guess I never thought of
that.
— Karen R.
November 18, 2001
I'm with you, excercise stinks! Literally! But, lo and behold, I have
found a solution! Swimming! If you have access to a pool, take advantage
of it. Doing laps is one of the best, no sweat exercises I know. Swimming
also exercises the whole body at once. None of this do one thing for this
part, another thing for the other part. Yuck! But be sure to use a good
shampoo and conditiner!
— Melissa S.
November 23, 2001
Karen you look great! Awesome! You look 135-140 not 187. If you never lost
another pound you'd still look great.
— Danmark
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