Question:
Doctor told me

Is this true?? I am considering WLS. I have had 2 divorces, breast cancer, child with juvenile diabetes, father with Alzheimers, and an overall dysfunctional life. Then my ex-husband, whom I still loved very much passed away. So yes I have had depression and medication for that. But considering all that has happened, is that unreasonable?? I have never been thin. I was fat as a child and now that I'm 48, have had chemo, radiation, etc. I don't feel good. I want to look and feel better!    — Joann L. (posted on March 17, 2003)

March 17, 2003
um, your doctor told you what?
   — Kasey

March 17, 2003
I have to assume the Dr told you that you were not a good candidate...If so what a crock...find another DR!
   — Barbara S.

March 17, 2003
I think I'd find a new doc and get a new you, you have been through more than your fair share, you deserve to look and feel better, good luck in what ever you decide.
   — wizz46

March 17, 2003
You are a SURVIVOR! Find another doctor who will support you. It sounds like you have spent a lot of time dealing with other people's problems (other than breast cancer). It's time for YOU to take care of YOU! If you find that WLS surgery is what you want, go for it.
   — koogy

March 17, 2003
OK, I'll go with the consensus that your doc does not consider you to be a good candidate for WSL, possibly because of depression. As long as your depression is under control with medication, that is not considered a contraindication to surgery. I take two anti-depressants, and my doc and my therapist have both recommended me for WLS. However (and I'm not saying this to be mean) you don't provide any info about how WLS will improve your health other than "I don't feel good. I want to look and feel better!" WLS is not about looking good. It is about improving one's health. If you don't feel good because you have diabetes, hypertension, arthritis, GERD, sleep apnea or other weight-realted co-morbidities, then yes, by all means, see another doctor to get approved for WLS. But if you don't feel good because your life is difficult, or because of lingering effects from cancer or its treatment, WLS is not the answer. While I can't crawl into your doc's mind and know his/her motivation, I can say that you have a lot to deal with right now. Your PCP might have concerns, given your child, your father, and your self-described "overall dysfunctional life," whether you can deal with the demands of the post-WLS lifestyle. You might want to question your doctor further to find his/her specific reasons why s/he doesn't consider you to be a candidate for WLS. Again, I'm not saying this to be mean. I'm just playing devil's advocate. You might reconsider your motives, then formulate your request to your new PCP to focus on comorbidities related to your weight, and how WLS will improve your health, not on how you want to look. Good luck. You've had a tough time and I feel for you.
   — Kasey

March 17, 2003
JoAnn - just a little supportive note. You have a functional life if you are surviving and/or overcoming the catastrophes that you have experienced. God Bless you, my prayers are with you.
   — MaryCinFL

March 17, 2003
Depression is NORMAL in MOs, and sadly you have had LOTS of good reasons to be depressed. Find anoter PCP and move on. Attend some support group meetings to find supportive PCPs/
   — bob-haller

March 17, 2003
hi there :) im very sorry for the things youve had to gothrough. i wish you the best of luck in finding a doc who suports your decision for wls. wls will make you alot healthier and yes you will look better as well, and i personally dont think theres anything wrong in wanting to look better. i know i wanted to! :) best of luck to you sweety. :)
   — carrie M.

March 17, 2003
Ok..I tried posting, but my fingers malfunctioned and I don't think it went through...at least not completely. You have had serious traumatic experiences which are unfortunate under any circumstances. However, please give yourself full credit for surviving those situations! Are you doing that? Or, are you allowing yourself to continue the 'whoa is me' outlook. I'm not judging, only speaking from experience. I began my journey long ago. When I went for my psych eval they told me right then that I had to undergo therapy before they would set a date. As it turns out, I just 'graduated' last week from intense weekly sessions to twice a month sessions. That is a HUGE step. But... during therapy there were a LOT of issues I was resolving by eating and eating and eating. My life has changed dramatically since beginning therapy. Of course, you MUST have a therapist you are 100% comfortable with. I can not begin to tell you how much better I feel about me and my decision for WLS. I am now mentally available to the restrictions (face it, there are restrictions) of life post-op. This is a forever diet. My suggestion is to continue to pursue your WLS. Find a therapist you TRUST. This is something you need to feel is good for you and right for you. Is is a forever decision...one that will alter the rest of your life. I'm not trying to scare you, but realistically we all need to realize there are some that no matter how badly they need the surgery they don't do well afterward because they have not dealt with emotional issues along the way. You will no longer be able to turn to food to console your feelings. I feel like I may come off as being judgemental or against you. Please do not think that. I want you to succeed at this endeavor. Everyone deserves to feel good and be healthy...no matter what they've encountered in their life. Some of us just need extra guidance and/or help along the way. Best wishes!
   — Diane S.

March 18, 2003
Joann, sweetie You have been through more than most people have. No wonder you suffer from depression. My heart goes out to you. You are a survivor of some unbelievable traumatic events. You also suffer from 2 diseases...depression and and eating disorder. I suffer from the same diseases. Frankly, I am shocked that your doctor did not refer you to a therapist. That is his job. Therapy is a good thing. It has helped me immensely. Getting into therapy is like having someone be your advocate. Your therapist will be on your side. Your therapist will also help you through the WLS process, which, as we know, can be frustrating. Everyone needs someone to talk to. My therapist has some incredible insight into why I developed an eating disorder in the first place. It has been a wonderful journey. I wish you the best. You are a courageous soul.
   — Susan F.

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