Question:
FYI: I'm headed to the hospital early in the morning...
Please, please, please say a prayer for me, that everything will go smoothly. I'm afraid, I admit it, but I'm trying to concentrate on all the many reasons I decided to do this surgery to begin with -- Because I'm afraid of dying if I don't. I feel like I live on the sidelines of life and watch it pass me by, unable to be an active participant because I'm so weighted down by this mass around me, smothering, unable to move and breathe... What does it feel like to feel whole and healthy? I think I've forgotten. I crave the day I can wake up and feel some real ENERGY and vibrance. I want to be able to walk without my feet hurting, to sit in a theater seat without my hips aching, to fit in an amusement park ride. I want to be able to go into ANY restaurant and not have to look for the biggest booth. I want to ride a bike with my son, or maybe strap on some rollerblades and challenge him to a race -- I want to participate more actively in his life. God knows, he's been cheated of a mother who could share in his interests WITH him. I want to stand up without my joints aching from the weight. I want to walk two blocks without turning red in the face and puffing, or better yet, ro RUN again! I want to see myself in those black strappy heels and the proverbial little black dress, and I want a wardrobe full of shorts in every color of the rainbow! I look forward to the day I can pass a window and not cringe at the sight reflected there. I look forward to walking through the mall with my head high and my step light, without the pitiful looks or ghastly stares by those who view me as their worst nightmare and pray, "God, don't EVER let me end up like that..." How much have I sacrificed to this fat I've been too long buried in? There is an exuberant, vital woman in here who has spent years dying slowly, overwhelmed -- SHE is the reason I chose to do this surgery. I can say these things here, voice my trepidations and feelings, because so many of you can relate, and I thank God for each of you. At any rate, I just wanted to vent a little anxiety before I head off to the hospital. I needed a 'pep talk' of sorts LOL! Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive! Chat soon, God willing. Shell — Michelle F. (posted on November 27, 2000)
November 27, 2000
Michelle- YOU GO GIRL!! I cried when I read your post- 10 months
ago- I was there!! Well- FYI- I just got home from playing INDOOR SOCCER
where my kids watched their mom have an assist on the only goal her team
had.
I ran without getting out of breath- I didn't want or NEED
a sub to take a break! I have been JOGGING. Last summer
I went on every single roller coaster at Great America (some
more than once and in the front row!) I have new clothes-
I have been compulsive about buying LABELS- lol! Never could
fit into them before- used to wonder how women could spend
so much on clothes- now I WANT TO:) I pass an image in a window
and am in shock that it is ME! People look me in the eyes now-
whether that is because I AM LOOKING up, or they are finally
looking at ME I don't know. Just remember- this will be YOU
10 months from now (some of these things SOONER:). Go for
it- YOU DESERVE IT!! My prayers are with you for a quick
recovery.
— M B.
November 27, 2000
THANK YOU Mischelle for sharing this I too will have my
WLS on 11/28/00 and I am scard to death, I recieved a few
e-mails from a few people on this site and I cant tell
you how much better it made me feel, Best of luck to you
you have my wishes for a speady recovery, I will see you on
the other side.......
— Tamaria W.
November 27, 2000
Hi Michelle,
I don't know if this will reach you before you have your surgery, but
just wanted to wish you good luck and my thoughts and prayers are with you
today and in the days to come.
— Eva C.
November 27, 2000
Michelle,
Just so you know...I'm thinking of you know and saying a little
prayer...here's to your health! P.S I loved your post, and related to it
110%!
— Marnie K.
November 27, 2000
God Bless You, Michelle. We'll be thinking about you. No need to
apologize about fear. It happens to us all, but the great thing is that
you're taking steps to take your life back. When you reach the other side,
take it slow and be patient with yourself. This is a process and a new
learning experience! The new you is around the corner!!! Lots of smiles
and hugs!!!!
— Paula G.
November 28, 2000
I am saying a prayer for you now....and I can relate, you will do all these
things and so much more.....
— christine L.
November 28, 2000
I just said a prayer for you Michelle, and I hope and pray that all is well
for you..keep us posted. You are on your way to that little black dress!
Carolyn Gilliland
— Carolyn G.
November 28, 2000
Michelle ~ Good luck and God speed on the recovery. I'll keep you in my
prayers! I related to that posting so well that I have printed it out and
will refer to it often, my surgery is December 21 and I toggle between
scared to death and jumping for joy. Some days (like today) I just want to
run to the hospital and throw myself on the table and scream "I'm
ready!!", some days I cry from the anxiety. Good luck.
— Stephanie D.
November 28, 2000
I'm crying!!!! You said what we all feel so beautifully. And by the
way... girl! You can walk two blocks?? You're way ahead of me. I get out
of breath turning over in bed! My prayers are with you. I'm excited for
you! God will watch over you and keep you safe.
— Marie L.
Click Here to Return