Question:
A comment and a question.

Hi All, I'm almost 4 years post op and have experienced WONDERFUL success following WLS. My life has changed tremendously and now WLS is my full time career. Still, as many of you understand, I am plagued with grazing demons. I experienced a 15 pound regain over a year ago and have held steady since then but would love to lose these 15 pesky pounds. I thought I made poor food choices because I simply had a love affair with food. And it's no doubt - I DO HAVE A LOVE AFFAIR WITH FOOD. But, I also believe there are other issues as well. Issues I've chosen to ignore or stuff so far down inside that I'll never know what they were. Still, I can't understand why, when I've enjoyed so much being "normal" again why I can't find the willpower or determination to drop those 15 pounds. What's up with that? I know I need to exercise more - I know I need to cut out carbs - I KNOW everything I need to do. I just don't know why I don't do it. I have started seeing a counselor and have had 2 sessions. I can't say after only 2 sessions that I'm sure of how helpful it will be. However, I'm convinced that postoperative therapy is vital for some people to achieve long term success. We tell people "We're operating on your stomach and not your brain" but we don't offer them a good solution for this. I doubt if new post ops experience as much of a problem with this but I think it's probably the most overlooked component of a good WLS program for long term patients. What do you think? Have you had therapy or counseling? Did it help you? What did you discover about yourself? So far I've only discovered that I'm a control freak (like I didn't already know that - ha ha) Thanks much!    — ronascott (posted on April 23, 2004)

April 23, 2004
I know very much where you are coming from and I'm only 3 weeks post-op. I am contacting my employee assistance program to find a counselor to help me. I do know of one in this area who has experience with WLS people, just not sure if insurance will cover the season ( I hate all prevered provider stuff). I'm also planning on getting the workbook for a book my mother has called Love Hunger it's on recovering from food addiction. Good luck and Congratulations on your success thus far. It's really nice to hear from longer term post-ops.
   — Angela B.

April 23, 2004
WE'll talk more about this in May or June in person, but I think there is so little attention paid to the physical portion of our disease that we are diverted from dealing with THAT. Reaching into th emental health tool box to fix a physical problem. The carb-issue is physical, but it affects us mentally. Much like pica makes people eat ice or detergent, our pancreas (for one) makes us crave carbs. Doesn't fix the problem, just diverts it. It's a long story, but a good thumbnail is the carbohydrates addicts book. It describes the physical cycle of carbs on a broken body. It puts the cart in front of the horse vs the way we think of it, "I am a bad person, so I eat comfort foods". That's not the way we work. When you keep beating your cute lil self for having this physical disease, you're chasing your tail and going nowhere. Get outside the loop. See when you are reacting to chemicals, see how you react to the chemicals, time the reactions. Fascinating
   — vitalady

April 23, 2004
I have always felt that this surgery is a tool and not the "cure". I am so grateful for it - but I have no doubt had the urge to eat things I shouldn't, even the first week out of surgery. Thank God for his support, and for my husbands desire to be a strength for me! I haven't had to eat flour or rice or pasta, or potatoes or sugar. I do drink protein drinks, but don't indulge in protein bars because they are far too close to my favorite addiction - Sweets. I too know that I need support, and possibly therapy to aid me in this process too. Those are tools along side with surgery, and exercise! I am glad that I went to "Overeaters Anonymous" for fifteen years, and learned that being overweight was not solely due to just a "weight problem". Food was an addiction for me, and that addiction didn't disappear overnight because I had surgery on my body! One of the toughest thoughts, is that I may never be able to eat cake, cookies, or Pizza again, amongst dozens of other favorite foods! That is a tough thought for me! I am so grateful for the recovery from obesity that is happening to me! It is truly a blessing. But I too wonder if I need some therapy - or simply a better support system. I wish you the best. If therapy seems to help, Let us know!
   — Tammy R.

April 24, 2004
For me, it's not an emotional issue, it's a physical addiction. From decades of filling my body with refined carbs, I'm now insulin resistant. Because of the way my body works, I crave the things that aren't good for me. The more I eat those things, the worse the cravings get. The only emotional component that I see is that when I'm stressed, I crave the comfort foods more, but again it's a physical thing as these foods can raise serotonin levels. I'm not saying that there isn't a population out there that is overweight due to prior abuse or other emotional issues that my benefit from counseling. For me, however, I think it's a physical addiction more than an emotional issue.
   — mom2jtx3

April 24, 2004
Hi Rona,<br> This is a subject "near and dear" to me..I could talk about it all day...so I'll try NOT to write about it all day! <br> When I was about 3 months post op, my husband and I were eating out. I had eating all I could hold..a few bites at that point, and I was content. I sat and watched my husband eating, and I started to get angry at him. I wasn't hungry, and I didn't actually "want" his food, I was just angry that he could eat with such gusto and enjoy his food, and I could not! I started to cry, right there in the restaurant! <br> Lucky for me, he and I have great communication skills and are very open with each other. We talked about his. He told me that I constantly watched him eat, to the point of making him uncomfortable. I told him that I, even knowing it was irrational, got angry at him for eating! I decided then and there that I was going to see a therapist. I happen to have a friend who is a therapist, and, while I didn't want to see my friend professionally, I knew she could recommend someone. I called her, and she recommended this guy who is an eating disorder specialist.<br> Seeing him has helped me a great deal in understanding, and getting control of my relationship with food. I wish I could say it's been easy...it hasn't. According to him, I learned at an early age to "stuff" my feelings down...I dealt with them only to the point that the pain was lessoned, then "stuffed". After a while, I learned to "stuff" them with food. I also learned to use food to cure boredom, loneliness, etc...all the myraid reasons we morbid obese people eat. <br> I have also learned that I use food to punish myself! I had a weird episode of eating until I made myself sick (something I was aware of doing PRIOR to surgery--it just takes less food to do that now). He and I explored the events prior to this episode....I had done something that upset a friend, and I handled it by eating! I resisted his explaination at first, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. <br> Now, I am developing tools to help me deal with situations when they arise, rather than "stuffing" them. He warned me about learning other ways to "stuff", without using food....so his goal is for me to learn new coping skills.<br> It's easy, after so many years of practice, to fall back into the old patterns of behavior. I agree with the poster who said that OA was helpful...it can help you develop the tools needed to deal with this. I don't attend OA..I have in the past, and the one meeting here I did not find to be healthy (it is small, and one member tries to control it (and succeeds)..she is an alcoholic, also, and the meetings always ended up talking about her alcoholism, rather than experience, strength, and hope for those recovering from food addiction.) However, I do attend Al-Anon...these program share steps and slogans which we can apply to our WHOLE life. <br> For me, this component has been just as important as my surgery. What good would it have done me to lose the weight, yet still be miserable? Or worse yet, to transfer my addiction to food to another substance/thing? I wanted to be all-around happy and healthy, and therapy is helping me achieve this goal.
   — Linda S.

April 24, 2004
I recently attended some therapy and was also told that I was a control freak (no surprise to me). We focused on the fact I could NOT control anyone. The only person I can control is myself. I felt these sessions were very helpful. I keep repeating to myself there are only three things I can control (My thoughts, my feelings and how I react to them). Having been in therapy before, I felt I spent far too much time talking about others. This therapist made me focus only on myself and GREATLY limited my time spent talking about others, otherwise I would have talked about everyone else the entire time.
   — Katherine A.

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