Question:
This is going to sound dopey, but any advice on how not to cry...
Hi, my first appt with the surgeon is coming up this Monday. I am trying to think of anything and everything that I should, like I am sure all of you have also. :) There is one thing that really bugs me. I haven't had an "official" weight reading since December on a digital scale that actually goes over 350, and I am sure I have gained since then. I know this is going to sound stupid, but this last year, because of some medical problems, I have gained so rapidly it is really depressing. So from past expierence of being shocked and horrified I am worried when I get there and step on the scale I will be upset again and just cry or something. Normally I wouldn't really care, but I don't want the doctor to think I am emotionally unstable. Does anyone understand where I am coming from? Any advice, I know I should just prepare myself for the highest number I can imagine but I am afraid when I actually see it... well you know I will get upset. I am really on edge waiting... 2 months to see him and now to see what he says. If anyone would like to email me for any reason PLEASE feel free. I need support and advice. Thanks in advance!!!! — Female C. (posted on June 27, 2002)
June 27, 2002
Hi there! I totally understand how you feel, believe me. The thing that
got me "through" the scale reading was I just kept telling myself
that it is okay because THAT is the reason I was there to see the doctor.
I was doing something about that number on the scale and I was very proud
of that. I also kept in mind that the numbers on that scale would soon be
decreasing. I am 2 1/2 months post-op and down 60 pounds. I hope this
helps a bit. Good luck to you and keep your chin up!
— Dona R.
June 27, 2002
Run to your PCP office and tell the nurse, receptionist, etc. that you
would like to use their scales to weight yourself prior to your appointment
on Monday. My PCP's office always let me use their scales when I was
dieting. Then you won't have any shock on Monday and you can cry over the
weekend ---- I KNOW just how you feel!!! God Bless You, Nelly
— Nell C.
June 27, 2002
Maybe putting it in perspective might help... Someone on this site posted
that they were denied for insurance for the surgery. THAT would make me
really emotional. The more you weigh, the more easily you will get
approved. Which means you can start correcting the situation. Regarding
the previous poster's suggestion to visit the PCP -- I would guess you
don't have one that you frequent or you would know how much you weigh. In
the event that I am wrong about that, call first and see how much their
scale goes up to. Even my surgeon's scale doesn't go past 350 (how
annoying). Finally, think about how you have handled and recovered from
similar situations. I remember in junior high the first time my jeans
didn't snap. My first trip to Lane Bryant. The humiliation of having to
call my surgeon to tell him I failed at VBG (I actually made my husband
call for me). These experiences define who we are -- compassionate people,
but weary from the burden of being MO. How about setting up a reward
structure for Monday. 350 - 375 -- a $20 splurge at the bookstore. 375 -
400 -- get your fingernails done. 400 - 425 - 3 new CDs (have you heard
the "new" Enya CD - A Day Without Rain - very relaxing). 425 + -
ALL of the above. Revise as needed, just make sure to prioritize so that a
higher number gives you a better reward. This strategy may allow for
enough of a distraction at weigh-in to hold your composure. Oh, and fear
not that they will be shocked or dismayed at tears that escape. They see
everything. I think I accidentally called my surgeon a "rat
bastard" or something similar when he cut my incision open without
novicane or warning (oops) and then followed up with telling him I don't
like him. (He took it in stride... told me he would be broke if his job
depended on being popular). And, when I lost 20 some pounds in two weeks
after my VBG, I accidentally jumped off the scale and hugged a very shocked
nurse. Tears are mild. Post back, let us know how you did!
— Karen F.
June 27, 2002
Hi, I went to the doctor for years and I would either refuse to be weighed,
or when I was weighed I would have my back to the number so I couldn't see
it. I did NOT want to know my weight. I knew it would just depress me and
I already knew I was FAT! The nurses were always understanding and
respectful. Incidentally, I was very nervous when starting this process
and was seeking approval that my weight wouldn't show up in my chart
because I refused to be weighed so much!! Open rny 6-26-02 -93#.
— blank first name B.
June 27, 2002
I felt like you when I would go to the doctor before I had surgery. But for
some reason, I never felt this when I went for my first appointment at th
surgeons' office. I think for me it was knowing that I was actually doing
something proactive to help the situation instead of continuing on the
destructive path I was on. I felt proud because I knew in a few months I
was going to be weighing on those same scales pounds lighter. I looked at
that moment as being my first step in the right direction. I was not there
for diet pills, a new diet or any other reason than to get approved, lose
the weight and start living my life outside the shell I had built around
me. Look at it as the first step to a new and beautiful body. Don't even
think about the #'s themselves, think about that it will be the last time
you ever weight that much! Good Luck and email me if you need some one to
talk to~
Candi
— Candi B.
June 27, 2002
I can relate to how you're feeling. My PCP doesn't have a scale that will
weigh me accurately. When I went to my appointment with my surgeon, I had
no idea just how much I actually weighed. The last time I was weighed on a
digital scale was 2 years ago. Imagine my surprise when I had gained about
60 pounds. My initial reaction was to cry... but I used some breathing
techniques that a friend of mine taught me. If you breathe real deep in
through your nose and then out your mouth, it really helps. Usually when I
do that, I can keep the tears from flowing. I also looked at it like
"Well, it's just another 60lbs that I'm going to lose. That's why I
am here in the first place".
— Tanya B.
June 27, 2002
Hi, before you get too upset please remember that the surgeons and their
staff are so much more used to dealing with the obese. I would hope that
all weight loss surgeons' offices are not only used to dealing with us, but
that they are more sensitive and compassionate (I know mine is). I quit
smoking 2-1/2 months ago, and I swear I thought for sure I must have gained
at least 10 or 15lbs since my initial consultation. I've been bloated a lot
lately, lack of period, hot weather, stress...you name it. Imagine my
surprise when I got on the scale today for my 2nd surgical appointment and
was only 1/2 pound heavier! All that stressing out for nothing! So, be kind
to yourself, know that you are on the right path, and go in to that
appointment with a smile. Good Luck - Anna
— Anna L.
June 28, 2002
I know this is not real good advice but I have found that if I drink water
right when I am about to cry the tears are kept at bay. I don't know what
it is about drinking but I cannot cry at the same time. Sounds a little
funny but try it, it might work.
— Kendra A.
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