Question:
Oh, but you lost your weight the easy way!!!!
How do you long term post ops recommend handling the response about your weight loss when the other person says to you, "having surgery is the easy way to lose weight". Truthfully I'd like to smack 'em, but know you guys will help me come up with a better answer. — Nancy G. (posted on February 23, 2005)
February 23, 2005
Tell them about this website and direct them to some of the profiles where
people have had to struggle. That should open their eyes. Also, you can
say, "sure, having your intestines rerouted during major surgery is a
REAL easy thing to do. Wanna try it?? Sorry, I too get pissed off at
people who see it as easy. Good luck!
— Fixnmyself
February 23, 2005
"And, being an intelligent person, I was supposed to do it the
hard/impossible way, the way that's proven NOT to work?" WTF?
— [Deactivated Member]
February 23, 2005
Answers I have given over the years: and the easy part was.......? Yes,
and I'm alive to tell about vs where I was when I was dieting (not so very
alive). And as the other poster stated, "and the problem with that
would be......?" Depending on teh tone of voice, degree of obesity in
the speaker, sometimes I can only just LOOK at them. And let them see the
ridiculousness of their statement for themselves. I mean, like I should
continue to do what wasn't working?
— vitalady
February 23, 2005
I'm over 3 years post-op and people who don't know me when I used to be fat
make comments about people taking the "easy way out". That's
when I inform them that I was one of "those" people and it was
FAR from easy. I then go into all of the things I went through (24/7 of
nausea, the scars, the pain, the daily workouts to get the weight off,
etc.) and they normally shut right up. I've told a number of people that
it's FAR from easy and they probably wouldn't be able to handle the things
I've been through. When they hear about all of the stuff I still deal with
(instant sickness and diarrhea, excess skin, etc.), they typically
apologize and say they didn't realize. You have to remember, they REALLY
don't know ANYTHING about this procedure and what you have to deal with. I
started a new job and the discussion came up at lunch one day and the other
workers were saying how dangerous the surgery is and how people die from it
and I had to launch into my fact mission. They sat with their mouths
hanging to the floor when I told them (particularily the part of how big I
used to be). Since then, they've all been great. I consider myself a
teacher when it comes to this surgery. Just try to educate the stupid!!
— Patty H.
February 23, 2005
At the risk of being beat up I do feel WLS was an easy way to lose weight,
but not the easy way out. I had to choose to possibly die on a particular
day in order to have a chance at living. Doesn't sound too easy to me.
Most people would not have the guts to make that kind of decision. So ask
them what day are they willing to die, because that is what we all had to
do? I lost the weight very quickly and hit goal at about 14 months with
252 lbs lost. It came off easily with a normal amount of effort on my
part. I ate well, followed the program and did reasonable exercise. Just
what people who don't have weight problems do. However, for me the hardest
part has been finding the balance, maintaining and dealing with the
malabsorption issues. Not only do we have to take quite a few supplements
for the rest of our lives, but we need many expensive labs frequently. I
now have to take zinc and vitamin d in addition to the normal stuff. I've
had to have a series of iron infusions twice and my T-score on my hip went
from normal to 1.8 in 18 months time, and I do lots of weight bearing
exercise and take the great majority of my calcium. A score of 2.5 is when
they put you on osteoporosis drugs. Some easy way out. While I am not
unhappy with my choice and the end result and am willing to do what I have
to, it's been the last 6 months or so that the challenge of WLS has really
affected me and will continue for the rest of my life.
<p>My response is always, "I have done it both ways". I
lost approx. 200 lbs, 11 years ago by eating 1200 calories and very low fat
and being exercise obsessed. However, it wasn't something I could do the
rest of my life and then add in severe depression and 9 yrs later I found
myself looking at WLS. Both times I lost the weight fast. The difference
this time is I feel like I can keep the weight in a healthy range because
of the tool I have. Yes I have abused it some and I'm sure my pouch is
larger than ideal and my stoma is maybe larger than ideal but it still is
there and helps me keep the weight in a reasonable range. I now know for
certain that WLS was my only hope. When the crap eating habits returned it
was clear that had I lost the weight the same way as last time, that I'd
already be back up like 50 lbs. It's the tool that limits how much I can
eat and occassionally pays me back with a major dumping episode just to
remind me that my anatomy is no longer normal. For me WLS had very little
to do with losing the weight and everything to do with maintaining a
healthy weight. I'm not afraid to say I could not do it myself and I am
proud that I had the courage to allow myself to die if need be. But at
least I would die trying!!
— zoedogcbr
February 23, 2005
I tell them that for me, it wasn't the easy way, it was the ONLY way.
— mom2jtx3
February 23, 2005
My answer is I feel great and I am extremely healthy! How are you doing
with your weight problem, it's really difficult isnt it....
— debmi
February 23, 2005
truthfully it doesnt 'come up' BUT if your compelled to say and they
answer with that say 'yep THANK GOD' who cares what they think.
— star .
February 24, 2005
Well I dunno . . . you *could* give one of the
mature/heartfelt/funny/pointed responses below, or you could say,
"Yeah, y'know, it WAS the easy way out. The only hard part has been
keeping all this weight off. But I find that smacking ignorant people
around really helps keep the ole metabolism hummin'! C'mere!" :-D
— Suzy C.
February 24, 2005
Well, having done it the "hard way" (LOL) for about 30 years to
only end up at 487 lbs.... what good is the hard way?
I guess that along with the great answers below, I'd add that when I was a
child and there was something my parents wanted me to do that I didn't want
to do right then, I'd be given the choice of "you can do this the hard
way or the easy way". The hard way usually involved a spank, so I
usually opted for the easy way. Who wouldn't??
Also, I read a response to a similar question here once before that went
something like this:
You and a group of people are stuck on the far side of a tropical island
from your resort. The group decides that hacking straight thru the jungle
to the resort is the fastest, easiest way to go. So off they go. You decide
that walking around the island on the beach would be easier. So off you go.
On your way, you find a canoe and can paddle back to your resort. (See, you
used a "tool", like our pouches.) You get back first. The group
finally shows up, although some don't make it back. (They didn't make
goal.) They say you did it the easy way, but who cares as long as you get
to your goal?
— LisaHillsinger
February 24, 2005
My answer: "Why, yes, having major surgery to re-route and re-assemble
my gastro-intestinal system was the easy way out."
Good enough answer for anyone dumb enough to think it was "easy".
— koogy
February 24, 2005
I like to tell people that my way of life is just as hard as a person that
needs to loose a massive amount of weight and loose it without surgery and
keep it off, IT IS HARD! I tell people that the traditional way to loose
weight is the old fashioned way to loose your excess weight, my way to
loose weight was done by mordern technology. I read on another site that
another person approaches her weight loss surgery as it was a gift that was
given to her, but there is a lot of work envolved to maintain that gift.
— ChristineB
February 24, 2005
Nobody has ever said such a thing like that to me, but who cares if they
did. We're entirely too obsessed with what people thing. WHO CARES WHAT
PEOPLE THINK. If someone puts you down with such a callous remark--they're
not worth giving a second thought to in my book.
— Cathy S.
February 24, 2005
Not to go off topic, but the few times I've been home during the day to
catch the show, the Judge on Divorce Court has said this on a number of
occasions. I would love to have someone "school" her on exactly
what is entailed for this surgery.
— Nicki F.
February 24, 2005
This has come up once for me. Someone I hadn't seen in over a year asked
me how I lost all the weight. I said I had surgery - she said, oh the easy
way out - I smiled and shook my head "no" (but I knew she didn't
understand). It really bothered me afterwards. Yes, I had surgery - but
I'm the one at the gym working hard and I'm the one making better food
choices - not the "surgery". I thought about it and if there
is a next time I'm going to say I lost weight the only way you can - eat
less and exercise more! Which is totally true, isn't it? My
"advantage" is that I took a serious personal risk to aquire a
wonderful little tool called "a pouch".
— Deborah G.
February 24, 2005
You know, if the technology exists to make the seemingly impossible happen
- and who in the throes of morbid obesity hasn't viewed it that way - why
not? I make no apologies, and agree that it has been relatively easy, with
full recognition that I have been one of the "lucky" ones...as
many of us are. WLS simply serves to level the playing field...what's not
easy is getting my butt to the gym, making good food choices, etc. etc.
(all those things thin people do naturally) on a continual basis, but I can
do it much more easily than before, without that terrible overriding sense
of desperation/deprivation. So yeah, I'd take the "easy way" out
again in a heartbeat!
— rebeccamayhew
February 24, 2005
And one more thought on this (Ha! You thought I was done?). This
statement is very much like a racist joke, or denegrating a member of your
own family, or all of those other yicky things that can be said...i.e.,
it's okay for ME (i.e., those of us within whatever community) to feel this
way, say it, whatever but YOU better not! Does that sound too wierd for
words? Thanks for letting me share...
— rebeccamayhew
February 24, 2005
FMLA. You have the right to take time off through the Federal Family
Medical Leave Act. It doen't have to be used only for having children. It
can be used for recovery from a surgery, whether yours or a family
member's.
— DianaE
February 24, 2005
I am so tired of hearing about the easy way out I'm thinking to make my
response to that statement "go f*** youtrself"
— **willow**
February 24, 2005
I usually dont talk that way but it IS frustrating when ignorant people
just don't want to learn.
— **willow**
February 24, 2005
Why tell anyone anything I go to the gym 3-5 days a week I follow my diet
plan I attend support groups nothing easy about it. I believe I have
worked very hard for every single pound I have lost the surgery was only a
small part I have had to do all the real work or I could see that I would
not be where I am now -125 in 1 year and healthy.
— nefish
February 24, 2005
I will be 3 years post op in May. A lot of my friends and family are
overweight and my sister especially battles her weight. She has mentioned
to me several times how she has to lose weight "the real way" and
I quickly remind her of the fact that I sugically changed my digestive
system FOREVER and have paid dearly for my "easy" weight loss by
suffering in ways "everyday dieters" would never imagine, I
dieted the first year unlike anything they would ever experience, and I
always add in "well, at least MY way worked". Best of luck on
your journey. Kathy :0)
— Kathy A C.
February 25, 2005
I just have to say....I have not encountered this. My entire family and
friends KNOW it was not the "easy way out" for me. I had many
complications and still do, and they support me with emails and calls and I
guess I am very blessed to have such wonderful friends and family. I pray
I never have to come up with a response for this. I'm sorry you do. IT IS
NOT THE EASY WAY OUT!!!!
— debi327
February 25, 2005
I just say, "oh, my, you are uneducated, aren't you? Otherwise you
would have never said such a silly and ill-informed thing..here, sit down
and let me tell you why it is NOT the easy way out, but the courageous
way."
— Cindy R.
February 25, 2005
My favorite response (in a very cheery tone of voice complete with a big
smile): "Oh, yeah, it was totally easy! By the way, how's your diet
going?" I said this to my morbidly obese friend who is vehemently
opposed to WLS (for all the uninformed and uneducated reasons)and refuses
to acknowledge how WLS has saved my life. Might have been harsh of me but
I've had it with comments like "It's the easy way out."
— lizinPA
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