Question:
How do you deal with not being able to eat at birthdays?
My 26th birthday is coming up soon, followed by my brother's 40th. I'm 3 weeks post ops [down 14 kilos or 30 pounds] and still have to stay on mushy foods for another 3 weeks. How do you deal with not being able to eat at parties? <br> Yesterday I went to party and was almost in tears on the inside because I couldn't enjoy the pizza and other nibbleys like everyone else was. Of course, everything looked so much better than usual. I came home and cried about not being normal. <br> I'm worried I won't be able to handle my birthday or my brother's. So do any of you have any tips? My family is supportive, but I don't want to deny them yummy foods just because I'm eating like this. — blank first name B. (posted on February 16, 2002)
February 15, 2002
Well my surgeon told me the following. Puree can be made 2 ways, in a
blender, or by chewing something to death. I cut everything up into pencil
eraser sized bits and chewed abd chewed, and chewed. You might request some
easy to eat party foods like cooked shrimp with sauce or appetizers on
crackers. Whipped sharp cheese on Ritz comes to mind. Its probably best to
try the foods at home before being in public, just in case they dont go
down well. Try to relax, nerves will make eating harder.You should be fine.
— bob-haller
February 15, 2002
Nikki,
A little after having my surgery, I had to host my nieces Bridal Shower, I
had to buy all this glourious food and prepare it and not have any of it.
It wasn't that bad, I kept thinking about what I would have in the long
run, I had my daughters birthday parties about a week after that, and
again, I thought about the long run, but I also took a small bite of cake
and ice cream, which made me viciously sick, I mean so sick that I felt
like I was going to die. Now sugar doesn't bother me that much, I can eat
small amounts, and I do occasionally, just small amounts as I said, I eat a
small hersheys kiss or something, the 14th was my 27th birthday, and it was
also of course Valentines Day, I ate 2 hersheys kisses and was satisfied
throughout the day. Hang in there girl and cheer up, You have a wonderful
life ahead of you!! Surgery date Oct4, 2001 down 64 lbs and couting!!!!
— TONYA B.
February 15, 2002
Nikki, you need to think what's more important, a few moments of pleasure
from food for a bday party or taking control of your life and getting rid
of the weight. You have already taken the step and had the surgery so that
suggests that the weight is what you want rid of. There are plenty of
other things to do at your get togethers besides eat. Bring a board game
with you and have people play that.
— Diane Rhoads
February 15, 2002
I think if you ate right before the party started (eating your pureed
food), you would be full and your interest would diminish because you're
not hungry. Make sure you have your water, or decaf tea, or Crystal Light
to sip on. Also, just keep reminding yourself that by your 27th birthday,
you will be feeling and looking fabulous, and will most likely be able to
enjoy some of that yummy food! It's getting through yours and then your
brother's birthday parties...look forward to one year from now. That
should help! Good luck and Happy Birthday to you!!
— [Anonymous]
February 15, 2002
Nikki, I had my Lap RNY just before Christmas, with all the get-togethers
and parties, etc. I was on a pureed diet at the time, and I was able to eat
what everyone else ate, only pureed in the blender. Of course, I couldn't
eat anywhere near what everyone else ate, and my plate looked rather
different :-), but I focused on the people who were there, and it wasn't so
bad. I also was able to eat a VERY SMALL piece of cheesecake so I didn't
feel deprived. As was mentioned earlier, try to focus on the fact that next
year you will look and feel so much better, and that you've taken such a
positive step. By the way, my surgery was 14 months ago, and this
Christmas, I couldn't wait to have family pictures taken. I looked so much
more 'normal.' The Christmas before, I avoided the camera like the plague!
LOL! Good luck!
— Maria H.
February 16, 2002
Darling... Remember, that NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS! Keep
telling yourself that as the others shovel themselves full of high calorie
cake and food. Not a big deal... you are going to be healthy and thin.
Plus, it isnt like this is forever, once you lose your weight you will be
able to eat small amounts of whatever you wish. Actually while you are
losing weight, you will gradually be able to eat 'regular' food... you just
have to make good choices and get over the fact you cannot be a glutton
ever again. It is a cool thing! Be happy! Dont cry over food you cant
eat... it is a choice that you cannot eat fattening food in large
quantities. Say it with me... Nothing tastes as good as thin feels!
— SusanMaria
February 16, 2002
Nikki- it is absolutely ok to not handle either your BD OR
your brother's this year! Don't go to any parties unless
you feel like it. If you don't, don't go. You are 3 weeks out-
tell them you aren't up to it yet, wish your brother a happy
birthday and stay home, babying yourself in new ways other
than food. Right now, you are learning how to be good to
yourself- you need to take the time to do that:) If you feel good
about going, then go! By next year, this won't be an issue.
You are entitled to slow down this year and learn about
what makes you happy. The previous posts gave you good
options about eating if you do go so do what you want to do
not necessarily what is expected of you- you are a new creation!
— M B.
February 16, 2002
You are such a new post op, that you have probably not yet begun to
experience the constant compliments and verbal praise for you wonderful
weight loss achievements. These will make the social outings much easier! I
have to agree that this early on, I would not even try to go to parties and
feel deprived. I however was the opposite "eater" pre-op. I was
the BEST at eating like a bird in public, but once I got home I would eat
until I was sick!! Can you say "closet eater"?Anyway, it has been
so wonderful this past year when in public to enjoy these compliments. Once
these begin to fly, you will be much more able to eat what you can. You
see, I also believe that the deprivation is what led me to be morbidly
obese. I now eat whatever I want within reason. The word "diet"
or I "shouldn't have that" never cross my lip. My body knows what
I can't have and therefore I just don't want it. I now feel like I fit in
and I eat what everyone else is eating. This has been an interesting
accomplishment considering I have kept this surgery a complete secret.
Shelley
— Shelley.
February 16, 2002
Micki:
I had my sugery on Nov. 8th and made it through the two biggest food
holidays- Thanksgiving an Christmas. You can make it through birthdays.
Give yourself some credit. If I can do it, anyone can. Take care and good
luck!!!
— Lori K.
February 16, 2002
We had our support group Christmas party 6 days after my lap rny, we had
refried beans, lots of cheese balls and crackers. I had absolutely no
interest in the cake, ate the cheese ball on crackers (oh so yummy,
remember crackers chew to dust-easy to eat!) and the refried beans and
cheese were good too. All of this counts as "mushy" food. I
enjoyed the food and the fellowship and had no problems. Good luck.
— jsuggs
February 16, 2002
I know how you feel. I felt the same way during the holidays. Our family
is very birthday rich in November and December - and everyone has to have
their own "special day". I worried about it for months, but it
actually wasn't so bad. I surprised myself with how well I handled it. At
pizza parlors I ordered myself an order of spaghetti with marinara and
shared it with others. If the party was at someones house, I took
something for myself to eat. At the holidays, there was always something I
could eat; turkey, salad, mashed potatoes. The killer tho' was my holiday
tradition. I make chocolate chip cookies that are to die for. I am very
famous for them in my part of the world and everybody expects some at
Christmas. I almost didn't do it, but I made about 75 dozen cookies and
never ate a single one or tasted any batter. And you know what? It wasn't
so bad - It was actually a personal victory. Good Luck, you'll do better
than you think.
— Danielle M.
February 19, 2002
Let me tell you a ROUGH story! I had my Open RNY on 10/22/02. My birthday
was like 11 days later on 11/2/02. I was just very upset. No cake, no ice
cream, NOTHING! I couldn't even really walk! My mom took me to Wal-mart and
got us a wheelchair and let me browse with no rush. Then when we got home,
she fixed me up a SF Pudding cup (mmm, chocolate) and put some candles in
it for me to blow out. It was really sweet! All I could have at this stage
was pudding and potatoes, liquids ya know....it was rough but I made it.
Hopefully this year's bday will be much better!!
— Craig A.
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