Gained 75 pounds back since 2004 bypass surgery

Well, despite therapy, and constant food reduction attempts, I still keep steadily gaining weight since my April 2004 bypass surgery. I never got rid of the reasons I "use" food, and even when I was looking and feeling so much better, something inside my head made me begin to creep back up in weight, by grazing and eating all the wrong unhealthy foods again. I had originally lost 134 pounds the first year and was a model of perfection diet-wize. But over the last two years I'm so anxiety ridden and continue to make failed attempts to go back to basics. Many of my medical problems are re-surfacing, when I had actually thought I was going to be free of them at last. I absolutely hate myself and my body. It makes me sick to look down at, even my forearms ! So, the self-loathing is back and I feel so very far away from any kind of acceptable weight and good health. I was surprised to find out how difficult it is to realize weight loss while eating so much less food anyway. Before surgery, if I had eaten the foods I do now, I would have Lost weight. But, that's not the way my body works now. I feel like I practically have to starve to lose anything, and then I gain it back after giving up in a few days. I really can't imaging carving myself so slowly down to a healthy state again. It seems so hopeless to me now. This feels like slow death - just like before surgery, even though I've still kept some of the weight off. I started at 334 and got down to 201 and now am 277. It feels like I'm stuck in a horrible dream world. Gosh, this was an horribly dreary post, but I've not been on for a LONG time and it's truly how I'm feeling right now. Is anyone out there going through something similar? I would like to feel that I'm not so alone in this (but also hope no one IS feeling this way). Thanks for listening. All the very best to you all!! Linda

Linda, You are not alone. I have also gained about 50 pounds back. I got pregnant in April 2006, gained 50 pounds, then lost 28 right afterwards but put back on 10 in 4 months since my daughter has been born. Before I got pregnant, I had gained almost 20 pounds back also. So, here I am strugglind with food choices and bad snacking. Trying to get back on with exercise again and doing my protein shakes in the morning but I always feel hungry... . Carbs are a huge part of my intake these days. It has been 3 years since I has surgery and the honeymoon is FAR from over!!

me too...I am feeling SO guilty. I was 270 before surgery, got down to 140 and am now about 160. I SWORE I would NEVER let myself get past 150. But here I am. I haven't been back on this site since right after my surgery- but I am here because I know I need to get back on track and this is the place where others understand what i am going through. Linda, hang in there. If you want a "buddy" let me know. Deana

Linda, I find myself in the same shoes as you, well almost. I have gained back roughly 10-15 lbs from my lowest weigth but I can not kick the carbs....I have this strong attachment ot rice cakes of all things. But at times I find it is the only thing my stomache can handle..... Don't get me wrong, 148 lbs is still healthy for me, but I really need to exercise more and the weather here has been too crappy to walk and frankly I do not have any exercise DVD's I like.... I see my thighs are getting bigger and my pants getting smaller. I am scared, very scared. I am very happy in my life except one thing but I am working on that, I do not think my eating relates. I am just too tired and bored.......Loading up with protein is not helping to keep me from grazing on crackers and rice cakes. Lori 258/148

Hi Lori, My husband and I have an exercise DVD called "Walk Away The Pounds" by Leslie Sansone. She has one that has a one mile walk and a two mile walk on it, then she also has a three mile and a four mile walk too if you want more. It's nice because you can do it in your own home, and it's fairly simple to do. My husband does the two mile walk 3 times a week. I used to do the one mile walk, but have been having issues with something called "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome" so I don't feel like doing much other than a few things around the house. Actually, doing any extra exercising makes my symptoms much worse. So I've decided when I have a good day, which are few and far between, I'm just going to have a good day. One day when I get my energy back, I'll get back to that and my water areobics. Good luck and if you give it a try, let me know how you like it.