emotions before surgery

My sugery date is july 16 I am so very excited but I was just wondering if anyone else was having the same feeling as me. I have been overwieght since I was a child and although I am happy to be having this done I am scared. not of the surgery but of how much my life will change. of how people will treat me and how I will feel about myself. I look at my body all the time now and think I won't see this any more. and I wonder after I lose weight will I still see myself as "the fat girl" ? I worry about how I will deal with my emotions when I can't eat them away. And this is on my mind 24/7 anyone else ?

Amy - yes, those emotions are there. Although I have been heavy most of my life, there were a few years when I was in college (and right afterwards) where I was actually thin. Well, I look back on those pictures now and see that I was very thin. Did I think so at the time? NO! I always thought I was so fat. I think you are wise to realize these might be issues for you. Do some reading. I've heard the book "Passing for Thin" might be good. If need be, find a good counselor to help you. We're starting to make our bodies as healthy as they can be. We'll need to work on our minds too. Linda

OH yeah, I am TOTALLY with you...(on the surgery date and all!!). I am terrified, I mean, you hear all these success stories of people who totally changed their lives and have lost all this weight. I'm afraid that I'll be that one in a million that didn't succeed. I'm scared, b/c I know that after the surgery...there's really gonna be no way to hide the fact that I had surgery (muchos weight loss isn't easy to hide), and I'm scared that people are going to look down on me b/c I had it. I'm petrified that even after I lose weight, and I look great, and I'm healthier that all I'm gonna see is "fat me"...and I don't want that. I want to be able to reveal in my glory and my healthiness. I've always been overweight for as long as I can remember, and at this point in time, I just can't imagine being skinny. I can't imagine not going to the "plus size" side of the store. I can't imagine my fiance being able to pick me up and carry me across the threshold when we get married. Well, I'm sure this is probably SO much more than you wanted to know...but I just wanted you to know that you're not the only one. Rianne

Rianne, I am right there with you... I'm excited at the possibilities before me and TERRIFIED of failing. I mean, i've failed at everything else, why not this? They stress that this is a TOOL and you can fail, so i wonder, what makes this different? But i'm trying to think positive, make healthy changes and hope for the best...

Oh yeah, I know what you mean. I have PCOS which makes it practically impossible to lose weight...and I'm just terrified that it will somehow sabbotage this attempt to lose weight as well. Thanks for sharing :-)

I feel exactly the same way, I've been fat for most of my life. I started putting on weight when I was about 10. I worry about all the same things. How will I look? What if I don't recognize myself? What if I don't see that I'm a thin person?? What if people will treat me differently? I'm scared sometimes, especially when I try to go to sleep at night and I have a lot of time to think about things. BUT at the same time I'm excited. I can't wait to leave this fat body behind. I can't wait to live a new life where I'll be able to do all the things I've always longed to do. I can't wait to shop for clothes ANYWHERE. I can't wait to be the 'hot chick' instead of the 'fat friend'. The things I'm afraid aren't as big and the things I want to have in the future. I can't wait....bring it on!!!

Well, as a fairly new fatty (only been since I've had kids, about 5 years now- I gained 200 lbs) let me tell you, you are going to feel great! I hate the way I look now, but the worse part is how I feel. I was pretty strong before, I played college ball, I used to feel like I could stop a bullet!!! Now, blah. No energy, no desire for spontinaity or fun. I never enjoy anything because I am so uncomfortable. It's what I miss the most. Just feeling healthy. Exercising and working out, once you finally get over the "I don't feel like it" thoughts and just do it, is a rush. Not just physically, but emotionally. There was a period between 5th and 7th grades where I was slightly chubby. So not obese, but not a stick like all the other girls in my class. Once I started playing ball in Jr. High I started to really slim down. I didn't see myself as the fat girl anymore, every glance I saw in the mirror was another reminder of what good I had become. Because being overweight is a "character flaw" to some, you learn to have a great personality because you know people aren't liking you for your looks. Shake the fat girl feelings and start to feel beautiful!!! And find something that you dig so you want to exercise. I played sports my whole life, and wouldn't you know it, people actually thought I was a model by my latter years in High School (plus I'm a 6 ft'er). I was a babe, but of course I didn't know it at the time (dumb teenage thoughts!). I hope you know I am just trying to make you feel better, not talk about myself!!!! There is no reason to feel like crap, especially when you will be working so hard (surgery, diet, exercise) to do right. Some people are a-holes and there is nothing you can do, so when you feel down, just say f*** 'em and get on with your life!!! I mean, look at the tabloids and Hollywood. People say horrible things about beautiful, talented, giving women and men all the time. There will never be perfection, so don't let it get ya down. Being healthy is such a great feeling. To run around the block just because I want to, to do something physically taxing. . . oh man, I miss that. Now, my body breaks down when I try to. I've sprained my knee, and both ankles in the past couple of years- just from walking!!! Trust me, you are going to feel great!!! And isn't good to know that we aren't stuck this way forever, like all the older women in my family were?! There may be some skin, but I think as post WLS patients, we are more apt to be able to get rid of it than someone who got loose skin from pregnancy or whatever other reasons. Remember, how we take life will make us or break us. Worrying NEVER solves anything, it just makes us feel like crap. Blow off the bad stuff and it will give you confidance and vigor to reach your goals!!!!!!!!!!!! If things are really bad, pluck it out from your life, and get the neccessary drugs if possible! I'm a July 10th'er. I can't wait. I am freaked, but it's because I'm not quite ready. Get in a peaceful mindframe, know you have everything together and we'll all be okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not scared about that as much as the actual surgery and complications. :-l I'm a pretty open person and I challenge anyone to give me crap about my surgery! lol

i understand how you feel Amy, my surgery is the same day. i also have the same worries that you do.

I'm right where you are and you've put my feelings into words. My bypass surgery is July 9th and I've been reading the forums to see how others are handling the fears, problems, concerns and successes so that I can try to make sure I'm successful in this process. Everyone's comments are so right on target and supportive - these forums always give you the chance to talk to someone else who is going through the same things and I know that is important too!