Regain

I wish they had an entire forum topic for regainers. I know that it is a fact that like 40% of WLS patients regain. We need to face it together as a group and see it as an opportunity to learn what change really takes inside us and that it is an individual struggle for each of us. How many people were told sugar and fat would make them dump or get sick. I had a very honest surgery fellow tell me they do not know why different people react differently, other than they suspect it is hormonal. I am a sugar addict who learned that I do not dump from sugar consumption. Not having that negative feedback mechanism has made it so much harder to keep off the weight. I also gained during pregnancy and afterward. I know WLS is just a tool, and now I know that if I don't have a belief in something bigger than myself in this battle, then I will keep failing and gaining.

What has made the difference in your efforts to stop regaining?

Mary K.

There is a group for regain. The link is in various people's signatures - I don't have it.

The only thing that has made a difference for me is addressing my mental health. I've done this both with therapy and then by seeking diagnosis and treatment of my Binge Eating Disorder. Thanks to these things, I've continued losing weight even in my fourth year post-op. I gained about 20 pounds in my third year post-op after my dad died, before I sought help for BED.

I have a firm belief in something larger than myself - consequences of actions. I know that weight is only ever a result of what I do, so I strive to make my brain be one that will do the best things.

Gwen,
Can you share what you learned about BED that helped you stop regain? I know BED is super common for obese individuals, and know I have/had it. Though I can no longer binge like I used to, now it's just choosing bad foods that is the issue. I know it can stem from low self-esteem, attachment issues, neglect...it's different for everyone.

I was not able to just look at the consequences of my actions, because they did not make sense. I mean we can have our thoughts, our goals, know the right thing to do, and still fail. I know deep down it is about feeling worthy for me...and being able to tolerate pain, sadness, anger, and other emotions in the moment without suppressing them with food/sugar.

The worth thing...it is so hard though depending on the messages received in childhood, and the models we had from our caregivers. I am having to totally rebuild my sense of worth from adulthood, and it is a daily struggle.

Thanks again for your support.

Mary K.

Hm. For me, it was a matter of a) learning that BED was a thing that existed and b) getting treatment for it. Even more than that, it was getting to a place in my life where I felt successful enough not to let the shame overwhelm me and prevent me from talking with my medical providers about my symptoms. While I've known for decades that I don't consume food the way "normal" people consume food, I hadn't known that this was an actual disorder until recently but, even if I had, I never would have had the courage to talk with a medical provider about my binge eating due to shame. (Shame being a factor in BED, of course.)

I can definitely still binge, and did. Even when it made me sick and even when it kept me housebound due to physical repercussions. When I'm binging, there is no choice involved. I'll binge on lettuce as quickly as I'll binge on ice cream.

While my actions haven't always made sense to me, the consequences of those actions are crystal clear. As your signature says - you can't keep doing the same things and expect different results. So I had to change my actions/behavior. I can't always change the way I think or feel, but I do control how I act. Or, I should be able to control how I act. (For me, part of being able to control how I act was to get my BED treated, since it was a wrench in the works.)

It is a hard battle. It requires mindfulness and vigilance every day. I have had to learn how to be kind to myself - sometimes while kicking and screaming. I've had to learn to put myself first, to be selfish, and to do what I need to do in order to be a healthy person. But, ultimately, it is worth it and it makes me a better person both for myself and for those I care about.

Gwen,

You really nail it when you say you have to be kind to yourself. Self-Compassion is so important. I love the book by Kristen Neff, Self-Compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. It is so good and has many examples of how we can stop negative self-talk and be gentle with ourselves. It certainly is key.

Thanks again for sharing...and it does boil down to our behaviors and our accountability as far as success...it's what comes before that I'm struggling with...

Mary K.

I have found, often, that changing my behavior changes "what comes before."

For example, choosing to do things I'm good at helps me to feel better about myself and to build my self-esteem. I feel like a competent person by doing things I'm competent at. I feel like a healthy person who makes good decisions by making good decisions about my health.

I became a runner by forcing myself to run and telling myself that I enjoyed it. :) Eventually, I started believing those things were true.

And now I'm at the point where, most of the time, I feel like I am a successful human because I can objectively look back on the last 4 years and see a track record of success. So I can draw on those successes and say, "Hey Gwen, look at what you HAVE done. You can do this [other thing] too."

Edit: This is not to say that you can just "will" your way out of depression, anxiety, or binge eating disorder. I'm sure some people can, but others (like me) can't. For me, part of being a successful human is realizing when I need professional help and then getting it.

Interesting!!! I have also been diagnosed with binge eating disorder. My doctor would not give me vyance because it is an extended release tablet. I'm curious how you take it and if you have had any side effects? Glad you are back losing. I have felt so much shame for struggling to maintain my weight loss. I go to counseling and it is still a daily struggle to not be compulsive with food.

Hm. My understanding is that Vyvanse is a pro-drug which is different from an extended release drug.

I take it in the morning, around 10am since that helps me the entire day and doesn't prevent me from sleeping at night. The only side effect I've noticed is dry mouth, which is annoying but something I can deal with.

For me, weight is only a symptom of the disorder. I'd be happy to never lose another pound as long as I wasn't binging!

You might consider reaching out to Donna who posts here as she's super knowledgable about medications :)

The first link you share looks like forums, not a blog. I believe linking to other forums violates OH's TOS. Just FYI.

I found the group - http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/backontracktogether/group_u pdates/

Although it doesn't seem to be very active.