Loose Skin and Self Acceptance (X post)

Hi all ....

My postop success includes loose skin. No surprise there. There is no stomach skin sitting on my lap nor any skin complications. My primary care doc has even commented on how well my skin has done. Victoria's Secret and I have figured out how to, er, engineer a pleasing line for certain parts. Next year I will be 50, so I figure anyone who sees me nekkid (I am single) would have to deal with some wrinkles and sags ... part of life, right?

A month ago, I was amused when my granddaughter suddenly realized I have bat wings. We were swimming, so they kind of float around a bit and she was amazed, told me it was "weird" and especially seemed curious about the idea that losing weight didn't mean the skin shrunk (she is a curious little 8 yr old!).

Two nights ago, after singing in a terrific concert, one of my fellow choir members came to me and asked if she could ask a personal question about weight loss, wanting to know if I had lost a lot of weight because of how my arms look.

Truth be told, I get a lot of comments about how cut my shoulders and arms are overall. So the attention lately to the loose skin on my arms has been weird.

So I got to thinking, I do okay wearing sleeveless and short sleeve things, but know I prefer 3/4 to full sleeves. I never wear short skirts or shorts because my thighs are the area with the most most loose skin. And I wonder if the last stubborn 15 pounds might not just be attributable to the extra skin.

The behavior/clothing adjustments are workable and fine. We all have our styles we like. And I do feel quite all right in my swimsuits (I love having a wardrobe of them!). But lately, I have been wondering about plastics ... is it vain? Is it a denial of my age and stage in life? I don't NEED them ... but sometimes they seem like a real good idea .....

Where do y'all sit on that whole concept of self acceptance, age acceptance, and whatnot?

Thanks,
Janice

Wow. Great post and topic.

I, too sat where you sit. A few skin issues with my panni - but very minor. I hated the skin, but it wasn't really hurting me.

I remember thinking in pre-op for my TT/arms "this would be some terrible irony if I survived 30+ years of obesity, VSG surgery, lost all this weight to get healthy, and then died during PS brought on by vanity!"

Honestly, I don't think many of us NEED plastics. And I certainly wouldn't have bankrupted my family to get them. But I do absolutely have an easier time accepting myself in the mirror with some of it gone.

Thanks for the insight.  I appreciate it!

For me plastic surgery became my reward! I had worked so incredibly hard to loose so much weight and when reaching my goal and keeping it off, I felt I was worth having the plastics. Not because my husband wanted me to. Not because my co-workers asked me if I would ever, not because of what I thought others were thinking. But for ME!

I had carried all that weight for so many years. And there I was 140lbs thinner and all I could see was the hanging skin that constantly reminded me of all the years of obesity. I felt I deserved to be freed from the mentality that I was forever "over weight!"

My plastics were all self paid, and my husband worked a lot of over time to make them happen. It was my final step in my weight loss journey. And now I can say for the first time in my life I feel AMAZING.

Is that vanity? I don't think so. It's what made me feel confident again. I think after we've all lost so much of ourselves from our weight struggles to finally feel freed from it, is what is most amazing. Yeah my flat stomach and perky breast are a plus. Its the inner changes, plastic surgery gave me that matters the most!

Good luck to you, what ever you choose...just make sure its for YOU!

Thank you for sharing your story.  A reward is a good way to think about it too.  Perhaps I will save money and pay for it on my own after keeping the weight off for x number of years.

Janice

For me, the skin is a distraction when I do things with my kids, so it is going to to away.

Flying squirrels are envious of my "wings" .

 I was in a similar position.  I didnt NEED plastics, meaning I didnt need them to solve a health issue.  I didnt have any rashes, etc.  But I did have lots of loose skin that made me unhappy.

Before I reached my weight loss goal, I would say that as long as I looked OK in clothes I wouldn't have plastics.  But over time, as I lost more, my feelings changed.  I'm also in my late 40's and have been married for 20 years, and this is something I wanted to do for myself.  I had been overweight / obese my whole life, and I thought having plastics would be the one chance I had to live in a body that made me happy.

I'm almost 4 months out from a LBL, Arm Lift, BA/BL, and I'm having an inner thigh lift in about 6 weeks.  No regrets here, but I respect that everyone has to make their own decision.

The only thing I've had done is my arms. I'd like implants and a tummy tuck...but those things aren't high on my list to get right away.

I got the arms done because it WAS effecting my self esteem. I am 29, and want to wear sleeveless without the flapping. I'm thrilled with my arm lift. Love it everyday more and more.

With all that said, I do sometimes wonder about the people on here and other boards who have had multiple procedures, revisions, etc. I think when is enough enough.

For me, it took me about 5 yrs at my maintenance weight to accept who I am as a person. I think because I've been at this weight so long, things have settled and don't look as bad. Also, my brain has caught up to my size and I realize I'm not hugely overweight, unhealthy...the skin removal is a risk I am not willing to take...and expensive. I have other stuff I need to focus my money on.

On the other place I posted, someone else brought up that it was about priorities.  And you are bringing it up here too.  I really don't think I am uncomfortable enough to spend so much money on surgery.  I'm kinda tired of medical procedures.  You make an important point about the brain catching up with the body ... at only 3.5 out, I'm still adjust and surprised when I look in the mirror.  ha!  More adjusting needed.

Janice,

As some one else on track to turn 50, in six months, and is single getting plastics done is not my highest priority. Job status is fixing to ramp up first of October and not sure when or if I can even get it done any time soon. In clothes I look great!  Sans apparel shar peis point and laugh at me.

Now as a man who has personal knowledge of several plastic surgeon's work up close and personal  I can tell you doing before and after comparison's can be quite fun!