AWKWARD!!!
Just went to my informational meeting at UMASS. You would think that people that deal with obesity for a living would be a little more sensitive and understanding but not always.
I arrived in my wheelchair, as due to my weight I can no longer sit in chairs without severe pain within moments. I am severely morbidly obese and its obvious that I need the chair for mobility..just a preface so you are clued in..... lol.
I get there and the woman running the meeting takes one look and says..you will have to use the other door..it opens wider. (o.k. no big deal at this point) We go to the other door, open it and enter the auditorium, horse shoe seating with ONE space for a wheelchair. I seat myself directly behind another woman in a wheelchair. This director couldnt handle that thinking I was in the way although everyone was already at the meeting. She made a big fuss in front of everyone trying to seat me in a few different places....all the while she kept asking me if I could GET OUT OF MY CHAIR!!??!! First she asked my husband if I could get out of my chair as if my physical handicapp somehow applied to my brain cells as well. Then we he was dumbfounded by her rudeness she started questioning me.
This was not quiet, private or I felt appropriate. I laughed it off because I was feeling good about myself that day. I had done hair and makeup and I have now lost 30lbs in 3 months. So, something crazy was not going to get me down. But how about the next person?? Would someone go for the information and not come back again after the spotlight was placed on them and they were made to feel uncomfortable.
It was definitely awkward with everyone watching us as we wheeled from one end of the room to the other.
Where did I end up in the end?? EXACTLY where I put myself in the first place!! LOL
I arrived in my wheelchair, as due to my weight I can no longer sit in chairs without severe pain within moments. I am severely morbidly obese and its obvious that I need the chair for mobility..just a preface so you are clued in..... lol.
I get there and the woman running the meeting takes one look and says..you will have to use the other door..it opens wider. (o.k. no big deal at this point) We go to the other door, open it and enter the auditorium, horse shoe seating with ONE space for a wheelchair. I seat myself directly behind another woman in a wheelchair. This director couldnt handle that thinking I was in the way although everyone was already at the meeting. She made a big fuss in front of everyone trying to seat me in a few different places....all the while she kept asking me if I could GET OUT OF MY CHAIR!!??!! First she asked my husband if I could get out of my chair as if my physical handicapp somehow applied to my brain cells as well. Then we he was dumbfounded by her rudeness she started questioning me.
This was not quiet, private or I felt appropriate. I laughed it off because I was feeling good about myself that day. I had done hair and makeup and I have now lost 30lbs in 3 months. So, something crazy was not going to get me down. But how about the next person?? Would someone go for the information and not come back again after the spotlight was placed on them and they were made to feel uncomfortable.
It was definitely awkward with everyone watching us as we wheeled from one end of the room to the other.
Where did I end up in the end?? EXACTLY where I put myself in the first place!! LOL
Tracey :)
I'm glad you were in a good place. And it didnt make you want to run away. But she was awful. When you make your appt with the surgeon I would tell him how rude she was. After all at these meeting they are representing the surgeon.
I have my information meeting a week from wednesday. I cant wait so I can get going. I am so ready for this surgery.
I have my information meeting a week from wednesday. I cant wait so I can get going. I am so ready for this surgery.
Talula
Starting weight 369
I wanted to call the hospital because I think its ridiculous only to have ONE space for a wheelchair in an auditorium that is set up for patients that are very likely to have a disability. What were they thinking? I have a bariatric wheelchair and she was trying to get me behind one of the tables where my chair wouldnt even fit in the forward position never mind the 72 point turn it would have taken to get me turned in sideways.
She was like a terrier not wanting to let go of it. She was even talking to herself she was so upset, lol. She was saying...well, she needs to see the screen.... Really?? This is my fourth informational meeting...I could teach the damn class...I am all good at looking at the screen!! ha ha ha ha ha
She was like a terrier not wanting to let go of it. She was even talking to herself she was so upset, lol. She was saying...well, she needs to see the screen.... Really?? This is my fourth informational meeting...I could teach the damn class...I am all good at looking at the screen!! ha ha ha ha ha
My husband is wheelchair bound because of advanced muscular dystrophy and he frequently deals with people like the woman that you describe.
People that talk to me instead of him... People who "don't see him" - come on - his wheelchair is day-glo orange... and people who are so stressed out by him that they feel they need to go way over the top to help him.
Over the years - we have decided that these are people who were never taught growing up that people can be different and still be people! They are uncomfortable - or even a little scared - of anyone with a disability. They are afraid of saying the wrong thing... or doing the wrong thing...
This woman needs some training if she is going to remain in the kind of position she is in.
For her sake and ours!
People that talk to me instead of him... People who "don't see him" - come on - his wheelchair is day-glo orange... and people who are so stressed out by him that they feel they need to go way over the top to help him.
Over the years - we have decided that these are people who were never taught growing up that people can be different and still be people! They are uncomfortable - or even a little scared - of anyone with a disability. They are afraid of saying the wrong thing... or doing the wrong thing...
This woman needs some training if she is going to remain in the kind of position she is in.
For her sake and ours!
You are right...she does need training. She could have said the same thing differently and it wouldnt have been offensive or embarrasing. She could have asked if I was remaining in the chair or if I was moving to a chair for the meeting...end of story. And then...she could have accepted my answer!! LOL
There is always going to be someone that is inept...but what we can do when we are healthy is pay it forward and help others and be more kind and understanding of those in our "previous" situation. I would love love love to advocate!! :) The obese of the world need advocates!!
There is always going to be someone that is inept...but what we can do when we are healthy is pay it forward and help others and be more kind and understanding of those in our "previous" situation. I would love love love to advocate!! :) The obese of the world need advocates!!
FleurDeLis
on 7/2/11 2:26 pm
on 7/2/11 2:26 pm
Don't take it personally. If someone talks to your husband instead of you, he should gently redirect the person to you. If she is embarrasing you, tell her. She really is clueless. Your complaint to her employer should help her get some education. Be assertive.
That being said, the best defense is a good offense. Before you go to something like this, tell the scheduler that you have special needs. Ask about the set up. It is no fun to get run around because nobody, including you, was prepared.
If you did call ahead, mention that in your complaint. That would make it even worse. This was not a bariatric friendly environment and they need to know. Meanwhile, everone here knows who the hospital is. If you want to be sassy, ask them if they go out of their way to get bad publicity, because it worked.
That being said, the best defense is a good offense. Before you go to something like this, tell the scheduler that you have special needs. Ask about the set up. It is no fun to get run around because nobody, including you, was prepared.
If you did call ahead, mention that in your complaint. That would make it even worse. This was not a bariatric friendly environment and they need to know. Meanwhile, everone here knows who the hospital is. If you want to be sassy, ask them if they go out of their way to get bad publicity, because it worked.
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