OT: I'm feeling untethered, guilty and scared...

I just dropped my 19 year old son off at the Marine recruiting station. He'll spend tonight in a hotel with other recruits and leave from Ft. Meade Maryland for boot camp at Paris Island tomorrow AM.

It's the right thing for him I know.  But I also know he's no longer so enthusiastic about enlisting, badly regrets blowing off high school classes and grades and is understandably nervous that his plan to work hard and try to get onto an officer track and college via the Marines won't work.  I know I tried my best to get and keep him on track for the the past 19 years and that now he needs to separate, enjoy and learn from his independence.

But I feel like I've just drowned a puppy, like I've thrown my baby to the wolves and that I am a horrible person and horrible mother for not being able to get this super-bright, charismatic young man to focus on his future and do what needed to be done.

I think I need a big cry.

My heart goes out to you and I can't even imagine what your going through. I can tell you there are stories after stories about kids joining and with wonderful result. I pray the best for your son and send you a big hug!

I felt the same thing nearly four years ago.  Believe me when you see him at graduation - you will KNOW that your little boy has grown into a courageous and strong young man!  I am in Michigan and my Marine went to San Diego - It felt so very far away.  He has spent the last 3 1/2 years at Cherry Point in NC and has learned so much.  It is a great thing for a young person and teaches them a lot that they will keep with them forever.  My prayers are with you - boot camp is tough but they survive and you will be amazed at the transformation. 

And BTW - thank you and your son for this sacrifice and what he will do for his country!

I did the same thing when our son was 17. He wanted to go in the marines. It was the best thing he could have done. He grew up alot that first year. It was hard letting him go though. Fortunately when he left, I had to be out of town to help a friend who was in the hospital. It would have been much worse seeing him off. I understand completely. It gets better.

Congratulations!! Don't feel down - you did a great job! I have been exactly where you are!! My son is now 25, and a medically retired Marine Sgt. He entered the Corps just after high school and I cried, like you will! If you don't mind me offering some suggestions -
stay by the phone when he is due to arrive (they get to call and tell you he made it but THAT IS ALL) the call is brief (VERY)
here is link for message boards on the recruits - if you get lucky sometimes they post pictures of the recruits in training
http://parrisisland.yuku.com/
once you get the initial letter, SEND MAIL!!!! It keeps them going. They don't have alot of time to write back so I made quick questionaires that my son could cirle yes/no answers and mail it back to me. You can find alot of helpful informaiton on those boards though
once you find out what platoon he will be in it will be much better.
A huge thank you to you and your son!!!
Feel free to send me a private message
Debbie

Paris Island also posts photos often of the recruits. He's in great hands.

Affectionately,
-The Daughter of a Tank Commander

Thank you all.  It makes me feel better to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.  The house just feels so empty and  so do I.

Sometimes what we " feel" is not what is actually in the best interest of our children...

By reading your post, it sounds to me that your son has possibly been drifting and needs some focused discipline added to his life, which the Marines will give him.

Personally, I think every young man and woman would benefit from time spent in service for at least two years.

Letting go of your son is not easy, but take comfort in the knowledge that you loved him enough to send him in a direction that will very likely have a positive influence upon him. 

He is not a little boy any longer and it's time for him to become the man he was meant to be. 

Hang in there because your post reflects what a GREAT mom you are...

I believe every young person could find benefit from military service as well.   I am a veteran and even though I did not enlist in the Army until age 24 I still learned a great deal about life and matured considerably during my time in service.  

What's interesting to me is I never thought about how my parents felt when I left...I presumed they did the happy dance, lolol.  I was living on my own when I enlisted, going to college and working when I made the decision.  Next to WLS, it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Lizzy S

Oh - you should be very proud of him - as well.  He sounds like a fine person to not only serve his Country but also to improve himself after not doing well in school.  It is so difficult to worry about your child - do you have some support - the cry will probably help.