I still see a 300+ lb girl...

Hello!

I have not been on here for a long time. No reason. Just life, I guess. The 26th of this month will be my one year anniversary. It has been one remarkable year!

I started this journey at 312 lbs and this morning, I weighed 182. So far, 130 pounds. I wore sizes 22/24 now 10/12.

I know it is an amazing accomplishment BUT, I look in the mirror and still see the big girl I was for so many years and less than a year ago. I know my clothes are smaller, I am smaller, etc. But, I look at myself and see that I still want to lose about 25 more pounds.

I am not petite by nature. I am 5'9'' and have a large bone structure (not a supermodel build). I know this but I still feel fat. I am wondering if all of the loose skin has something to do with it. I think it does.

My BMI is 26.something and I know I am not far from my goal of 175. I just feel like when I get there, I will not be satisfied and it is only about 7 lbs away.

Has anyone else dealt with these mind tricks?!? I KNOW it is all mental, I just want to get over it and be happy with me no matter what.

Yes, it is VERY common for it to take a while for your brain to catch up to your new body size.  Our brains are notoriously bad when it comes to having an accurate perception of our body.  How many people look at pictures of themselves and think/say that they cannot believe that they look like that?  LOTS.  (Those with eating disorders see fat even when they are skin and bones.)

So, just as our brain doesn't recognize how large we were originally, it is hard to get it to see the "new" you.  Usually it does eventually catch up.  For some that happens sooner than others, though.  It took me until about 3 years post-op to REALLY see the 145-pound me instead of a "just slightly smaller" version of the 330-pound me.  I think it helps to have pictures taken of yourself with people you see on a regular basis (your brain knows what size THEY are), look at your reflection along with that of others in store windows or mirrors, etc..

Mostly, you just need to give it time.

Lora

Well hello stranger! Jealous I was dealing with hubby kids financial issues and finally the 25th I am joining you. Congrats on your weight loss! I agree have you been taking pictures? Sit them side by side and admire how far you have come. I have read on here people walking by windows and seeing a reflection they didn't recognize as them. I think it is common you have looked at yourself heavy for so many years this is a new you a new life. It isn't going to happen overnight that you will come to see the new healthy you but it will happen...until that time POST SOME PICS! I have been dying to see how far you have come.

Glad you are back don't be such a stranger.

I'm about to celebrate my one-year surgiversary on the 12th! Congrats to us both! 

To be honest I still have these issues as well. Even though I see my smaller clothes and my smaller waist I am still not 100% satisfied or aware of myself. I'll catch a glimpse of myself in a store window and think "Is that me? No, it can't be. I looked much bigger in the mirror this morning." Then other times I'll look in a mirror and think "I'm still fat" which is crazy since I'm at 131 right now(I'm only 5'2" by the way). There are days where I love the way I look and days when I can't completely accept it. My goal is 120, so I'm close, but a part of me kind of hopes I drop below that. I tell myself that would be unhealthy(more like people will say i'm too skinny), but I can't help but want to be smaller. What we have to go through is insane. lol

p.s. 130 pounds lost is an amazing accomplishment. Congrats.

Congratulations on your amazing weight loss! I'm only six months and I too see the big me. Every time I do laundry amazed at how small my pants are now! I guess eventually our minds will catch up with where our bodies are now!

My one year sugiversarry will be April 24th. I am 5'7" and have gone from 257 to 148 lbs. I also have large bones. I am currently wearing a size 4/5 bottoms and small sometimes medium tops.

I wash my clothes and when I hang them on the hangers out of the dryer, I swear they all shrunk and will not fit. I hold the clothes up to me, look at them and swear they are too small. But they fit. I don't get it.

I look in the mirror and I know what the scale says, and my goal was 145. I am only 3 lbs away. But I do not see it. lol. One day hopefully I will see what everyone else sees. I still see myself as overweight. I never thought I was really big, but when I look at my pictures from before, I think "OMG I was huge!!!" How did I not see that, and why the heck can't I see how small I am now. lol.

I am attending a class on tuesday night about (and I cannot think of the technical terms to save my life right now) our warped ideas and how we see ourselves. So I am hoping this helps me some, otherwise I am going to have to see a therapist.  

Congrats!  Although I lost the bulk of my weight during my first year, it took almost until my 21 st month for me to start realizing / seeing a smaller me.  Same as you, I was purchasing smaller clothing, able to do things as a smaller person and eating less, but "the big girl" syndrome was just ingrained in me.  (Up until recently, I was still racing people to the handicapped bathroom stall. LOL)  A lot of my weight loss journey has been and is psychological and I ain't totally there yet.  I just now (at 2 yrs post wls), able to look in the mirror and actually see a smaller me.  Its a great feeling to see what I've accomplished!

Hang in there, and be patient with yourself.

I still can't get over that I can fit in my 16 yr old daughters pants/tops if I need to borrow something.  Last week I was able to borrow her size medium ski pants because my size 2x didn't fit and I am a size 10 now.  My husband was having fun picking me up yesterday and the last time he did that was the year we got married!