Don't give me that "Oh, you had surgery to lose weight" look!
I saw the look from my eye doctor of all people. I wasn't expecting it. He asked how I lost the weight and I told him. And right then I saw the look. It said "Oh, you chose the easy path..." Or whatever that look says. I don't even tell my own family (except for immediate) and I told him and got the judgemental look I did not want to get from anyone, not my family, not friends, no one. And there was nothing I could say because it was just a look. I guess this is WLS guilt.??
Its true, most people of "normal" weight do not know what life is like for struggling food addicts like myself. I don't find that acceptance is better than it was 20 years ago. And that is why I will keep my history to myself. I can't believe I was feeoing bad about not being "honest" with everyone and their dog at my place of work and at home. Never again!
At least that's how I feel today.
Its true, most people of "normal" weight do not know what life is like for struggling food addicts like myself. I don't find that acceptance is better than it was 20 years ago. And that is why I will keep my history to myself. I can't believe I was feeoing bad about not being "honest" with everyone and their dog at my place of work and at home. Never again!
At least that's how I feel today.
Right there with you!!!
Last week I joined a health club so I could start working with weight lifting trainer. When I told him that I was going to have WLS, he looked away and then ther was this long pause.............
he then said "Did your doctor tell you all of the consquenceses of this surgery?"
I wanted to say, no I'm stupid and was looking for a good time!!!!
Thank God!!! for the support we have have here on the board!!!
Jackie
Last week I joined a health club so I could start working with weight lifting trainer. When I told him that I was going to have WLS, he looked away and then ther was this long pause.............
he then said "Did your doctor tell you all of the consquenceses of this surgery?"
I wanted to say, no I'm stupid and was looking for a good time!!!!
Thank God!!! for the support we have have here on the board!!!
Jackie
Yes. If the look is bad, the comments are even harder to deal with. Most of what I hear on this forum is that it is the best decision they evr made. I am still learning how to work with my sleeve and I am hoping to get down to goal weight. Already I have better health, so to me it was definetly worth it. I don't know if eating struggles will ever be understood except by the people that have the issues, yet more and more are having issues because of the food companies that make unhealthy foods and the lack of exercise people are getting.
Best of luck to you, and hip-hip-hooray to you for not giving up, but actually doing something about the situation!
Best of luck to you, and hip-hip-hooray to you for not giving up, but actually doing something about the situation!
You know, your reply made me think of something. I have been working with a trainer since 1999...3 times a week every week for 10 years when I finally decided to get WLS. My trainer said to me that he's never had a client struggle with weight and not respond to intense exercise like me and he actually agreed with it! Not everybody "gets it" unfortunately. And of course once I got the surgery, the weight fell off and has stayed off as I have kept up with the exercise routine. Good luck!
Laura
Laura
I know exactly the look you are talking about, as I have received it from people too, some even family members. I'm hispanic and I call it a fuchi face, a face someone makes when they are judging (or hating).
I was trying to be private about my WLS at first because I wanted to avoid fuchi faces and because it is human nature to envy others when they are doing damn good for themselves, in whatever for that may be, YES even getting healthier and happier. I just didnt want "bad vibes" in the fragile days leading up to my surgery.
I edited my rant to add here that being 4 weeks post-op there are some people that are noticing my weightloss and have asked me what my secret it. "I had weight-loss surgery to help me lose weight. It's a lot of work, but I've never felt better!" is a typical response. There is nothing to be ashamed about because we are step-uppers! We are in control and we are doing something about it!
THE EASY WAY. Give me a break (not you, but those that think this way). What is so "easy" about electing to have major, life-threatening surgery, and chosing to have 80% of your stomach removed (gone, byebye, FOR-EV-ERRRR) and be limited in the amount of food you eat? On top of this, most of us are emotional eaters, what is so easy about finding other healthier outlets for our grievances instead of food? There is nothing easy about this process. Some of it even traumatic for some of us. This is a major life decision, and for a good majority of us it means life and death.
Those that have this attitude and chide at us for choosing this route are simply ignorant because they've been fortunate enough never to have walked these shoes.
WLS was the hardest decision I've had to make, and the scariest, and every day that passes I am challenged all over again. This isnt easy by far.
Having said that, the fact that I'm succeeding at it has made ME my own hero :)
I was trying to be private about my WLS at first because I wanted to avoid fuchi faces and because it is human nature to envy others when they are doing damn good for themselves, in whatever for that may be, YES even getting healthier and happier. I just didnt want "bad vibes" in the fragile days leading up to my surgery.
I edited my rant to add here that being 4 weeks post-op there are some people that are noticing my weightloss and have asked me what my secret it. "I had weight-loss surgery to help me lose weight. It's a lot of work, but I've never felt better!" is a typical response. There is nothing to be ashamed about because we are step-uppers! We are in control and we are doing something about it!
THE EASY WAY. Give me a break (not you, but those that think this way). What is so "easy" about electing to have major, life-threatening surgery, and chosing to have 80% of your stomach removed (gone, byebye, FOR-EV-ERRRR) and be limited in the amount of food you eat? On top of this, most of us are emotional eaters, what is so easy about finding other healthier outlets for our grievances instead of food? There is nothing easy about this process. Some of it even traumatic for some of us. This is a major life decision, and for a good majority of us it means life and death.
Those that have this attitude and chide at us for choosing this route are simply ignorant because they've been fortunate enough never to have walked these shoes.
WLS was the hardest decision I've had to make, and the scariest, and every day that passes I am challenged all over again. This isnt easy by far.
Having said that, the fact that I'm succeeding at it has made ME my own hero :)
All of you have just described exactly why I'm taking this journey all alone. I have the power to make an intensely personal decision that NO ONE in my family would approve of (even my sister who have RNY). You see, I used to be able to lose weight easily. I was that girl that ate all fall and worked it off all winter so I looked great in the summer. But 10 years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer that had spread to my lymph nodes. I was in the absolute best shape of my life. Cancer kicked my ass. It also made me see what a yo yo dieter I am. I'm a total food addict. I don't have the strength or endurance I had 10 years ago. I look at this surgery as a game changer, a second chance, a way for me to finally be healthy. And, since this about me, I don't feel compelled to share my journey.
You are a special person. You are right when you say that this is a personal decision.
I hope your cancer is under control now. That is not an easy thing to deal with.
Everyone on this website supports each other. You can make many friends who
understand how you feel, and will be very supportive I notice you are from Phoenix
Arizona. I grew up in Yuma, Arizona and moved to California many years ago. I wish
you the best in this journey.
Barbara
I hope your cancer is under control now. That is not an easy thing to deal with.
Everyone on this website supports each other. You can make many friends who
understand how you feel, and will be very supportive I notice you are from Phoenix
Arizona. I grew up in Yuma, Arizona and moved to California many years ago. I wish
you the best in this journey.
Barbara
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