OT: how much drinking is "excessive"?

I drank in college a bit, but really don't drink at all now.  I think the last time I had an alcoholic drink it was 4 or 5 years ago, and before that it had been another several years.  I'm not morally opposed to it at all.  It's just not my thing, it kind of gives me a headache.  My parents rarely drink too, so I didn't grow up with alcohol even being around in the house.  They weren't anti-drinking, it just wasn't their thing either.

Anyway, my husband does drink. His parents drank, and so does his family.  It's normal to him.  To me, it seems like he drinks a lot, but my perspective might be skewed.    I have been dying to ask someone this, but I don't know how to broach the subject in  real life without sounding like I am accusing my husband of being an alcoholic!  I'm not.  I just want persepctive from "normal drinkers" about what "normal drinking" looks like.  So I thought maybe I could ask here.

My question:   is drinking 5-6 beers a night a pretty normal level of drinking?  Sometimes he drinks more, sometimes less.  I worry about at what point drinking can damage the body.   He is almost 6 feet tall, and average weight (maybe slightly overweight... he has a touch of a, er, beer belly.)  He sometimes drinks to the point of getting drunk, but he doesn't get angry or mean or anything.  He just gets a bit goofy and stumbly and snores a bit louder that night in bed.  (The snoring part is the most annoying part to me! LOL!)

I've asked him about it, but he thinks he barely drinks at all.  He definietly sees it as totally normal and a non-issue.   But I do the grocery shopping and know he goes though almost two full cases (of 24) a week.   To me, it seems like a ton, it seems lilke SO MUCH for his liver to have to process... but then, any more than one or two beers would seem like a lot to me. I think I'd be passed out if I drank more than two! LOL!

I don't confront him on it because I think my perspective is off.  So I was just wanting to check on that perspective before I either just stop worrying about it or I talk to him about maybe cutting back.  Thanks for any input. 

Full disclosure, I'm an alcoholic so my view might not be the popular opinion. I think there are two questions here, is he drinking excessively, and is he an alcoholic, there is a difference. Someone can drink excessively and not be an alcoholic, and vice verse.
I would ask you what his attitude toward drinking is. Why does he drink every night? How does he feel about going a couple nights without it?
I don't really know how to answer the excessive question. When I drank, it would take me much more than a 6 pack to get buzzed, but again I'm an alcoholic. I would encourage him to think about maybe cutting back either the quantity or frequency and see what happens, and how he feels about that.
Again I think the "why" is the main contributor here. If he feels like he needs/wants it to wind down from the day, I would encourage him to think about what emotions are causing this, and what other coping mechanisms or distractions he could use. Ultimately, only his Dr. will be able to tell if it's effecting his health.
I find most men to not be receptive toward this line of questioning, so I wish you luck most definitely. My husband is also an alcoholic, and I if I were you I might try checking out an alanon meeting. Good luck!

Edited to add a link to an alanon quiz that might be helpful: www.al-anon.alateen.org/affected-by-someones-drinking

Yes, that is excessive. The "standard" is the pat "1 drink/women 2/men per day".. He's having 5-6 a day. 

I was a moderate drinker pre-op- a few nights a week, 1-2 drinks. Husband about the same. I don't think either of us have ever killed a 6pack a night together let alone by ourselves, that's binge/problem drinking territory.

He's obviously built up quite a tolerance, and probably sees a beer as similar to a soda, but a beer is the same as a shot in reality.. so, yeah- I'd be concerned, but as an adult- you can't change him nor should you try to control him- so unless he wants to cut back, he likely won't. I wish you the best, hopefully he does have an open mind to understanding that he's doing harm to himself with that level of consumption.

I'm with you - mostly uninterested in drinking, although I did have a total of about a tablespoon of wine at my niece's wedding 2 weeks ago. (4 toasts)

I'd be concerned if my husband was drinking that much - if only because of the calories and the cost, but apparently the beer up here is stronger than yours, so I don't know what would be excessive there.

If your husband drinks every day, then he may have a problem. Does he ever go any period of time without drinking? If he were not to drink on any given day, he may notice some side effects from the lack of alcohol like mood changes, tremors, anxiety, cravings? That would indicate there is a problem.

I kind of like EliseG's response. My husband went from drinking every weekend to every night, until my oldest asked him why he drunk so much. He on the other hand wouldn't know when to stop and didn't see anything wrong with it. When he had his own child ask him to stop that's when he made the effort. He couldn't give her an honest reply to why, why he drank, but between him and I we knew. He didn't want or feel that he needed help and I did some research with the Analon websites and found ways to help him and help our family. He's been one full year without drinking. And I'm more than proud of him. Try to bring it up in a conversation you two have. See what brings him to drinking. Ask him would he be willing to stop and see how much he can save. Don't pressure him because as I was told, an alcoholic will not admit (which is the first step****il they are ready. I respect EliseG for that alone. Wish you all the best!!

I personally think that is a bit of a problem. Would I call him an alcoholic, not sure, but I would say it is excessive. Even before surgery when I was drinking a 2-3 beers a night depending I felt like I was on the edge of pushing it. I would think 5-6 would be pushing your luck.

Question does he also drink outside the home? Like at a bar or dinner and then come home and consume more alcohol.

5-6 beers a night is excessive. There are so many definitions of an alcoholic, but anyone who drinks regularly fits the bill. They don't have to be disruptive or nasty to be an alcholic.

I have 2 brothers who drink that a day - they are, without a doubt, alcohlics (with their wives, I would be too lol).

As an alcoholic (20 years of sobriety) I totally concur.

As an alcoholic (20 years sober this Christmas!) one of the things I remember talking about in rehab as a good indicator of alcoholism was "does it affect the people around you"?