Does anyone else feel more shame than pride when seeing how much weight they lost?

When people ask me how much weight I've lost, I'm vauge and sometimes downright evasive.   In support group, I do admit I've lost almost 130 pounds, and I'm proud of that.  But in any other situation, it embrasses me so much. 

I don't know if it's because saying I've lost 130 pounds (and, clearly, still have more to lose) is admitting just how massively overweight I was before... or if I just hate any type of body-scruitiny. I don't want people checking me out and thinking about how my body looks.

Can anyone relate?  I wonder if once I get to goal and feel more confident in my own skin if I'll be more willing to be open.  Right now, though, I never like to talk about weight loss or numbers with anyone outside of my bariatric friends.



On a sidenote, I finally treated myself to new clothes.  Everything was so baggy and literally falling off, so it was about time.  I went to Lane Bryant and everything I got was a 14/16!  I couldn't believe it.   It was only five years ago (or so) that I was this weight last time, and I swear I wore an 18W then.  Have clothing sizes even changed in the last 5 years!?    Maybe my body shape is just different than the last time I weighted this much...    It was fun to buy the smallest size they sold, but it hardly felt like a victory because it seemed kinda ridiculous.  


I sound really crabby today. Sorry.  Maybe I need another protein coffee. ;)  

Anyway, I'd love to hear anyone share their views on how they feel about their NUMBER. Are you proud to share the number of pounds you've lost, or wouldn't you rather keep that a secret?   Thanks! 

I did right around when I was at the point you are, but you know what?

People look at me and it's no secret that I've lost a MASSIVE amount of weight. Heck, I've lost the average adult at this point (or more). I proudly say it now because you know what?

I worked hard for it. I've worked both on my food and exercise and head issues. I'm 37 freaking years old and I'm proud of who I am, what I've done and how far I've come in so many ways.

It's almost funny now to watch their eyes get really big when I give them that number. Saying "Oh, I don't mind telling you, I've lost 184 pounds" feels SO liberating. I FEEL absolutely amazing and I FEEL so proud of myself.

I own it these days. It's me. I did it. They didn't. *I* did it. Most people who ask are genuinely curious and I'm okay with telling them... partially because I want people to know that they can do anything they put their minds to. Dude, if I can lose this much weight, they can do anything too.

I have, however, not made a secret of my journey. I share with friends on publicly on Facebook and my blog. I'm so proud of myself and so happy with where I am and where I'm going. I want to share that joy.

It IS overwhelming sometimes to think I had an extra 184 pounds on my body. I keep wondering "where??" LOL.

How you respond is your own personal decision. Some say "yes, I've lost a lot of weight and am working hard" and that's okay too. Most folks won't press harder.

xoxo

I hope I turn it around like you have. I hope when I get closer to goal that I'll be more comfortable in accepting where I came from, and have the confidence to not care what others might (or might not) be thinking about my former and current self.

Thanks so much for your post!  You are one of my sleeve heros! :)

I will say, honey, that I didn't get there on my own. Whatever you tell people when they ask, accepting you for you is the hard part. I see a counselor every week and have since a month before surgery. It's hard sometimes but it's worth it to help me get myself in order.

I'm not sure of your age, but I know that once I hit 35, something happened to me... I started caring less and less what people thought of me. They can like me or not. No idea if it's age or just me not giving a flip anymore. LOL. but yeah, the weight thing was STILL hard but I'm proud of myself. I've worked hard and I don't mind sharing with folks at all these days.

I think part of me sees it as accountability too. I don't want to gain any of this back so the more people that know the harder I will work to keep it off.

I was considered a "light weight" and have lost a total of 115 pounds--below my original target.  I was never embarassed of the loss--as a matter of fact, I feel like shouting from the rooftops and wearing a billboard telling everyone that I lost this weight.

I am proud of this accomplishment and hope you can view your weight loss (130 pounds--incredible!) as one as well.

Thanks so much!

I am sure everyone is different and deals with weight loss in their own way.  I think part of it, for me, is that I started off as Super Morbidly Obese (worst superhero name EVAH).  So I am still fat.  Not in any sort of stand-out way... just an average, blending in the crowd, fat woman.  So when I say I've lost 130 pounds, it's immediately apparent that I'm not just an average fat lady.  I used to be SUPER morbidly obese.  

I hope someday I can just see the weight loss as an accomplishment too.  Thanks again!

Your not alone sister, I've lost 300 pounds and don't mind telling people that especially in support group like you.
 
But about a year ago I was in line at a convienient store buying a Muscle Milk. Guy behind me asked if it was any good, etc. I told him I lived off of it for over a year while on my way to losing 300 pounds. Women in front of me turns around and says "Just how F***ing fat were you?" I've got pretty thick skin and can take a joke better than most people, but being as how loud she said it and in front of other people. I laughed it off and evrything but I don't talk about it nearly as much in public anymore.

So I share your anxiety about it, like how did I get this big in the first place.

Hang in there

I know the feeling!  I hate when people recall how they remember me as an obese person!  It has hurt my feelings more than once!  I know they think they are giving me praise for how far I've come, but for me, I do feel ashamed that I ever allowed myself to get to that place!  Losing 300lbs is just amazing!  You should be proud!  That woman in the store was hateful!  I'm sorry about that!

Thanks, but no need to apologize for someone else's lack of decorum. Once I told her how I lost the weight she wasn't interested like 99.9 of people I've told. She needed it as bad as I did, but I try not to judge to harshly I've lived the dream and didn't like it.

 I actually don't mind talking about it with people I know. It reminds me how far I've come and don't want to go back. The hard part is keeping it off nowadays.

I grew up in an obese family (both sides) so it was kind of a culture we joked about it helped me develop a sense of humor. Just hard to watch family members that know of this procedure and what it can do and they have no interest in it.

Don't beat yourself up to bad, (easier said I know) IF it weren't for a gal I worked with I never would have done this so what ever the path to get here has been worth it (shame, financial debt, new wardrobe) whatever we gotta do.

O...M...G...

I just cringed and cringed reading that story.  What a horrible woman - who would say that to someone??  I doubt she would have say "just how fat are you?" when you were at your top weight, so why did she think it was OK to say "just how fat were you?" in retrospect?   

If she thought she was being funny or complimentary in a joking way, she failed.  Sigh.   Sorry that happened to you. 

Losing 300 pounds is just completely amazing.  You rock!   Thanks for sharing your thoughts!