HELP....

Hello all,

I am 4 years post op. VSG.
My lowest weight was 137 goal is 125.
I am now 171.
I am 5'3 and am now considered obese by the BMI charts again.

I am never hungry.
I stuff white and sweet carbs down my throat. I am a binge eater.
I realize I am stuffing to keep from feeling feelings.

I want to create a daily meal plan that is easy, not some huge 20 ingredient recipes where I have to go to 7 ingredients.
I want to try to stick to fresh meats. even though I really like certain lunch meats.
I will start drinking 2- 32 oz. cups of water each day beginning tomorrow.

For anyone who has the knowledge, or does anyone even the Dr.s , will I be able to start feeling that real stiff restriction again? Have I stretched it? Is that even a possibility?
I do feel it when I binge on most anything. but an hour later or so I did it again when the restriction has left. and that is my cycle.
I have not been able to jog, run for over 20 years, Fibromyalgia .
But, I want to start it tomorrow, I have already concord bicycle riding some.
I will also do that if I find I cannot jog/walk.

This depression has a tight tight grip on my soul, but I am going to get stronger and stronger and fight this like I have never fought before.
I don't want food to be on my mind literally 24/7 365.
I have started night eating again, as I have stated I have not felt hungry since my surgery,,, and I love that!!
I have to figure out how to start letting myself feel emotions again, I remember growing up us kids were not allowed to show emotion or have opinions or really feel... So, I don't even know if I know how to feel or what the feeling I should have at certain situations, learning to do this, I then I believe I can break the habit of stuffing all my feelings down with food.
Please, I welcome all opinions, advice encouragement.
and meal plans/ideas easy easy, easy. I don't think I can do large planning at this point with my mindset.
How much should I eat a day? oz. wise, portion wise? Is buying a rotisserie chicken a good idea? Canned tuna? and or ??? and should I just stop the protein shakes since they are mainly about chocolate, strawberry, sweet flavors? And peanut butter is a trigger food for me that I have been putting the PB2 in my shakes and binging on PB & J sandwiches...
Thank you all for all your input. It is much needed

first as you already know you need to get back on plan , your sleeve will not stretch  back to the way it started before surgery 

you need to start drinking 65 oz+ of water, 65-100 gm protein  , you need to go cold turkey on bad white carbs bread, pasta, rice , ice cream ,soda

and start eating 3-4 oz solid protein and a little veggies and fruit

I real good thing to do is see a therapist about your need to eat to feel good

 have you tried swimming or water walking aqua aerobics, I have bad knees and go every day 

 toady starts the rest of your life don't wait till tomorrow

Have you ever considered going to an OA (Overeaters Anonymous) meeting? 

Where would I find one?
I will look for one and try it...

Go to OA.org and click on the "Find a Meeting" link at the top of the page. There are phone and internet meetings as well as live meetings. I highly recommend it.

check the yellow pages or yahoo local

You are outside my level of expertise, but I wanted to respond just so you know you have good thoughts and wishes coming your way. I agree with the posts before mine that you should start working your issues today. When something to to tempting for me, I throw it away. Get rid of the trigger foods. Your life will not come to an end if you sweep your kitchen floor, open the jar of peanut butter and dump the kitchen dirt into the jar before putting it into the trash. Good luck with OA.

You seem to be in a lot of emotional pain and have been eating to stuff your feelings. I think you might think about finding an OA meeting in your area and/or a therapist experienced in eating disorders.

Sweet heart. Blessings on your head, and courage and determination to see this goal through. You can do it. During my loosing journey I kept my foods pretty simple. Tuna mixed with Greek yogurt, chicken, butterfly pork chops, fish of any kind, broiled or baked, high quality deli turkey or ham, any dense, simple protein that could be accompanied with a few steamed or raw green or yellow vegatables. I ate cottage cheese, low fat mozzarella cheese, greek yogurt and just a very little apple or peach, or blueberry- strawberry. Tried for 90 plus g of protein, 800 calories, under 40 carbs (more like 20), 100 oz of water, walked 4 miles on most days, and wrote down everything I ate in a journal. Keeping it clean and simple- almost automatic helped me a lot. Routine for me worked. I'm fussing around, now trying to figure this maintenance thing out, and believe me, it is being a bear! Stick to it, and get a few good days under your belt. I agree with above posters- it is so important to work out these emotional-binge eating issues! They are standing in the way of your health, and contentment. Bonnie

Barbara, 

   I haven't even had my surgery yet but your post touched me so deeply that I felt compelled to let you know I'm sending healing thoughts your way!! You are making a good step in saying these things "out loud" to your peers. Make sure you take time for self care!!