I'm not hurt any more I am angry!

Oct 21, 2009

I realized I don't have any real friends.Not really here...close....
Not that I can call and get together with in 10 minutes or stop by today.
Or go to lunch with or see a movie.
I realized that no matter what I try to do, I am a Mother, and a Grandmother and that's about it.
Not that I am ungrateful for that as I truly am.
But I have such a void, a hole, an emptiness.
I look at myself and do not understand why SO  many OTHER people have a life partner ,or husband and I do not.
I am not ugly, I have a beautiful heart and kind spirit.I have so much to offer and share and yet I am alone.Why???
What is SO VERY  wrong with me that I am unwanted and undesired? I feel doomed.
My heart is broken. My spirit feels crushed and damaged.
Life is too short to live it alone.
Time stops and waits for no one.
The lump I push back in my throat every day to stop the pain and tears of heartache is growing.
Maybe I should have vented long ago. But this also makes me feel so beaten, and a failure.
No......I am NOT DEPRESSED. If one truly knows what that is , than you know I Renee am NOT depressed.
I am alone.....and I am lonely as hell.

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