Jennifer C.

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Well here I am 90+ pounds down. I feel amazing, even though somedays my emotions over take me, i'm working through and getting by. Do I regret my surgery, no, hell no. Today I went to a birthday party and avoided the cake, it was so hard too, because I knew who made the cake and knew it would be wonderful.  My ex's old bosses were there and they were so happy to see me and see me getting healthier.  It's good to know that even after years of not seeing people they still have a concern for you.  I hope everyone is doing well, i'm in love with the fall wether and my fall wardrobe.  I put two new pictures hope, hope you enjoy!!

I feel so good, i've stayed away from the scale though.  I hate seeing the numbers still even if they are coming down.  I go back to school next week, thats going to be interesting to work in to my eating and drinking.  I'm excited though, noone has seen me since I had surgery, so some of my classmates and professors will be surprised.  Somedays I dont see the loss though.  I guess since I know I have so much to lose. I put up my new avatar though. I actually felt pretty today.  And I had two friends compliment me.  We went out for dinner tonight with my daughters grandparents, they were so happy to see me losing.  I went to a birthday party and managed to avoid licking the icing off my hand, I made a huge cake last night for my friend and managed to not lick the bowl, etc.  Its little things like this that youknow you're coming along.  My friend from the sie had a scare over the weekend. Its things like that that bring you back to reality.  my neighbor today asked me how I was losing weight and we got to talking, she's looking into the surgery now.  If I can help just one person than I know i've done my part. 

I went and bought my textbooks today, and found out just how crappy people have apparently become, a lady wanted to get a coke after buying her books, she didnt have the $ for it so I bought it for her, but she was like I dont have the $ to pay you back and I said thats ok...I understand.  But she acted like I was going to jump her outside for a dollar or something.  I don't know, maybe I was just raised differently. 

Well it's been almost two months and I feel awesome.  I have trouble still figuring out whats okay to eat.  i plan on talking to my bariatric coordinator to get some help there.  I wouldnt change this though! I feel positive and am finally noticing a difference in my body.  I dont recognize myself sometimes when I walk up to a window if a store.  My "hangdown" is shrinking and I am amazed by that! I'm just taking it in stride and hope to see a huge drop soon!

While this time should be a time of great joy and excitement for me, it is also a time of great sadness.  A very close friend of mine lost her 16 month old son the day before my surgery.  Her son was born with several health issues, however he was strong and a fighter.  Please keep them in your thoughts during this rough time.

my surgery is done and I am on the losers bench!! Now it's Cyndi's turn! I've been feeling frustrated and discouraged for the last week.  I've been back in to see the coordinator I just feel like im doing everything wrong.  Everyone talks about this feeling they get, but I dont get that.,.....I dont get a feeling under my breastbone I dont know maybe i'm just not understanding my new body.  I feel like I can drink too much at once, maybe the further out i get the easier it will be.  Anyone have any pointers?

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!

I took my daughter for her last visit with her grandparents before my surgery.,  its kind of bittersweet because I dated their son for about 7 years of my short life.  We had a rocky relationship and I gained most of my weight while we were together.  Its strange to see that in writing and realize it too.  They plan on coming to see me in the hospital and that will be hard because I know my daughters father wont be there.  I know we arent together anymore and we've kind of moved on but it's just hard to accept.  I can't wait for him to see me after the weight starts coming off though!! Well i'm off to bed it's another early day tommorow!!

My surgery is Friday!!! It feels so strange to say that and to know that i've come this far!! I've made some great friends and contacts on here.  I've become very close with Cyndi, she lives in another state, but we talk on myspace and text back and forth. She and I have very close surgery dates so that is nice to have someone who will be going through it with me.  I went and saw my PCP for one last check up beforehand and he was super excited to hear my surgery was so soon.  I just can't wait to be able to keep up with my daughter!! My preop is tommorow!!